verse nine

He looked up at the mass of people – reporters – who decided to come to his press conference. He was anxious about this step they were taking and nervous as to its possible outcome. He might have joked around with Yeonhee, but Junsu recognized – perfectly well – the difference between that and this, the real thing. He had been doing this for too long not to. And he knew what to do – what and how to answer and please – but that didn’t clam his nerves one bit.

He smiled – half true but also half fake – and answered the questions that were thrown at him, at his face. Most of them stung, probably because his heart never understood the importance of these people knowing and asking about his private life. But he had to do it – Junsu’s mind debated with his heart – he had to smile and nod and answer and take all those knowing smirks in. No matter how much he despised doing so, choice wasn’t in his midst.

He was a toy. Kim Junsu was nothing more than a plaything.

He was loved, of course he was, but never in the right way.

“Yeonhee and I have been friends since childhood. Our relationship was a open book to the public because of what I do and because she writes songs for me. I am honestly guilty that I have put her in so much of this kind of situation. But nothing’s changed and nothing’s going to change at any time in the future. Lee Yeonhee is a good friend of mine, a very, very good and special friend, but that is all we’ll ever be,” Junsu stated in response of the most important query of the day.

It seemed, however, that the reporters weren’t happy with just that. They scrambled for more questions, murmuring, trying to figure out what else to ask. Then, after a few seconds, a hand rose in the air. Junsu nodded to the owner as if giving her permission to ask him what she wanted to know.

“How about the rumors of you dating Pres. Jang’s granddaughter? Would you mind clarifying that, Junsu-sshi?"

Junsu closed his eyes for a second – as if blinking but taking a moment longer than normal. He was afraid that something like this would come out.

“How come you guys are so fond of me today?” he joked, chuckling a little for added effect. He didn’t wait for an answer, though, he didn’t need any. “Jang Riin-sshi is a very beautiful lady, I admit. She’s interesting because she is always modest and shy around people, but not in the way that says she’s someone stupid or anything like that. But, as of this time, all I can say is that we are in the process of becoming friends,” he answered.

Junsu saw the unsatisfied looks before him, which made him blurt out a promise he never thought he’d ever make.

“If I get involved with someone in the near future, I wouldn’t hide her or deny her from the world.”

He rose from his seat, ignoring the roar of questions that followed. He bowed to them, and walked off the stage. Yunho met him first, giving him a light pat on the shoulder for a job well done. Junsu thanked him with a bow and a smile. Yeonhee was there, too, gracing Junsu with a warm embrace – I’m so happy to have you for a friend and I’ll always be here for you, just give me a call, okay? – and soft murmurings on his ear. She pulled away after a minute or two, and resulted to dragging a resisting and cursing Yunho out of the room.

That was the only time that Junsu noticed another’s presence in the room. There, sitting on a chair at the far end of the room was the only other one of Junsu’s oldest friends; the one who had known the young singer even before he realized his dreams, and even robbed him off of chances to actually be with his first love.

“I wanted to talk to you about… stuff,” the older man stated. He stood from the seat and walked – oh-so casually – towards Junsu. He stopped about a foot away, and stared the other man directly in the eyes.

“What stuff, hyung?”

“Stuff about my Riinie.”


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Jang Riin walked down the hall that led to the venue of her only class that day. She arrived late and her professor had already called the roll. She cursed to herself, making her way – as silently as she could – to her seat near the window. She propped her shoulder bag on the floor between her legs and tried, with all her might, to focus on the days lecture. With a pen in hand, she looked up front, her head leaning on her palm. For the first quarter hour she was in class, Riin had taken down notes and listened intently. But afterwards, just as the discussion touched the threshold of how corporations were different from its incorporators and corporators/stockholders, Riin’s thoughts had already flown out the window.

During the most boring subjects, she would find herself thinking back on her life and why she was what she was at the moment. She would remember about a young mute girl who loved only one person in the world. She would smile, remembering how she would cling desperately on his shirt, refusing to be left alone because he needed to go to elementary school. Riin thought back on how she was, finally, persuaded to play her violin again – and even talk. She reminisce on her childhood, the tragedy of her life and how she was so thankful that she was in class – and most of the time, that would snap her back into the classroom setting.

But that day was different. She remembered more of another him. This one different from that who made it his goal in life to always protect her. She thought of that one boy in her past that made her giggle without speaking to her directly, and melted her heart just by laughing that high pitched laugh of his.

And she felt that soft tingle in her heart that had made it impossible for her to forget, even years after he’d left.

Seven year old Zhang Liyin was the only child of a violinist couple. Her parents were both well-known in their town because of the beautiful music that would always be heard from their house. Liyin, too, played the classical instrument. And at her very young age, she would already have recitals of her own, all for the joy of her parents.

But things changed one day when her mom and dad decided to not come home.

They died, instead, and left their only child to fend for her own.

Liyin was brought to the orphanage when authorities found her in their house not too far from where her parents were killed. That was the biggest event in her life, because it was there, at that very old and worn building that was run by a certain priest, did she meet her savior.

His name was Jaejoong. She couldn’t say his name, well, she couldn’t say anything at all. But the boy stuck to her and supported and tended to her even though no one else gave her a second glance. She was afraid of everything and her frail form couldn’t take in the changes that had happened in one snap of someone’s fingers. It took her time before she smiled and before she finally opened up to the other people at that place. And that was thanks to that one person who stood by her.

The young girl ambled around the gardens, one sunny day. She was bored and she didn’t have anyone for company. The older boy whom she was usually with was nowhere to be found. She lingered right outside the sight of most of the kids playing there, doing her best not to be seen. Being caught by any of them didn’t mean playmates for her. They would only bully her for not talking. She refused to talk to any of them. She never talked to anyone beside him. She went to every place where they would go to pass time, but he was nowhere.

Hours passed and Jaejoong finally appeared in front of Liyin, brandishing a lollipop to her, a present because he couldn’t play with her the whole day. It made everything bright in little Liyin’s world once again.

But that thing happened over and over. For a full week, she didn’t see Jaejoong during the mornings and afternoons. And that saddened her to no end. So, came Monday the next week, Liyin, donning a cute little beige dress, followed Jaejoong stealthily out of the orphanage’s grounds.

She walked behind him, as quietly as possible, hiding in between buildings and behind mailboxes every now and then. Liyin followed Jaejoong to his elementary school. The moment she was in front of the gates, her eyes widened in awe for she thought that the place was beautiful. It was big – bigger than the orphanage – and it had many trees and flowers scattered everywhere.

She then noticed that Jaejoong wasn’t alone anymore. He was with a girl – about his age and older than little Liyin – and a younger boy. They were talking animatedly, joking and laughing at each other. It made Liyin curious – asking herself what they were talking about – and she went a little closer to where Jaejoong and his friends were sitting – still as quietly as before.

That was the first time she heard him. His laughter brought new dreams into the little girl’s heart, capturing it without him ever knowing.