08.20.2007

I shove my hands inside my pocket and whistle wolfishly. My legs feel comfortable on the table, just as they’ve been every day. Sandara Park, on the other hand, looks uncomfortable as ever while writing on our handout. We’re in my house, not in my room but instead in the library, doing the homework for our French course, which is assigned by pairs.

“Je t'aime.” I say, smiling at her as I watch her do our assignment alone again. We’re just meeting for proof, but I never helped once.

“Stop it.” She answers, rolling her eyes. “It’s not funny anymore.”

“Je ne plaisante pas. Je t'aime vraiment.” I repeat. Finally, after weeks of teasing her, Sandara looks up from the white paper and says, “What’s French for I hate you?”

I groan, rolling my eyes. “Hey, you’re no fun at all.”

She looks back at our homework. “I’m going after this last question.” Sandara Park announces and says our answer loudly, “Un ami quand vous êtes dans le besoin est toujours un ami.”

“What about, The man you seek is just in front of you?”

She abruptly stands up, sighs, tosses her hair to the side and says, “I’m going.”

Not standing up from my seat, I cross my arms and not dare to look at her as I say my farewells. “Yeah, you know the exit anyway. See you, if ever we meet each other in the campus.”

The door closes, without me seeing her again.

I exit the room five minutes after she does. Knowing her, after weeks of sitting together, she’s gone by five minutes. And as soon as I step out of the room, I know that she’s gone because there’s one less footsteps in the house. My house is usually quiet at night since my father’s at work and my mother and sister often go to trips. This night is no exception and the only thing I look forward to is Sandara Park’s visits but she never looked forward to it anyways.

I go down the stairs and stumble upon our butler, whose name I don’t bother to know ever since. He bows and with a smile says, “Sir, the table is all ready. Would you like to have a meal now?”

Having a meal alone irks me but then how can I refuse when they have laid it already. “Yeah sure. Thanks.” I reply and walk slowly towards the dining table. Dinner meals is what I hate the most as much as breakfast. During breakfast, my mother with her hobby, cooks Western food. It depends on the movie or book she wants to portray for the day. During dinner, she’s gone for trips or she’s sleeping early, so I never have any chance to eat with her.

I enter the dining table and stop in my tracks. “What are you doing here?” The words come out of my mouth in a hurry, after noticing Sandara Park sitting beside my usual seat, which is the rear. She’s really uncomfortable as she’s fidgeting under the table and she’s twisting her lips.

“Um, your butler told me to have a last meal before going home, since I’m not going to visit anymore.” She replies and proceeds into scratching her nape. “And truthfully, I’ve been eating dinner here ever since. You just don’t eat.”

I nod. I’ve been missing out everything for the past weeks, and I can’t help feel crestfallen at my choices. “So you’re here for how many minutes?”

She uncomfortably taps her chin. “I go home after you go inside your room and shout that you don’t want to eat and then maybe here for a few minutes to see your butler serving you dinner in bed.” She points at my seat. “Can you sit already? I’m starving.”

Smirking, I occupy my chair. There’s not much conversation during dinner, and even if I bring up topics, she scolds me for talking while eating. Even until she starts clearing the plates to wash them, Sandara Park refuses to talk. I trail from behind as Sandara Park brings the plate to the kitchen.

“Well, I’ve got to be honest. I really hate ending the meetings like this. I really love your presence.” I admit as she starts washing the dishes, fluidly without the rubber gloves.

“You’re just going to miss your favorite plaything. I’m sorry about that, for not continuing to be the object of your admiration.” She replies. I really love how she rebuts. I walk towards her and sit on the countertop, near the sink and just plainly sit there with my arms crossed. Sandara, after finishing, stacks the plates and turns around.

I look at her in the eyes. And for the last time, I say, “I love you.”

A loud crash follows after and Sandara’s surrounded by broken pieces of ceramic. She gasps, looking down and shouts, “I’m sorry!”

It’s just two plates, but they do flood her feet as if they’re twice as many. It’s a relief she’s wearing shoes.

Sandara bends over to pick them up using her hands and I hastily stop her. But her stubbornness runs over and she cuts her palm, a wide gash forming from both ends. She curses under her breath, and I immediately pick her up from the mess, carrying her on my arms in bridal style.

She looks at her bloody hand as the butler appears to clean the mess himself. I quickly transfer Sandara to the dining stool and run towards the nearest bathroom for the medical kit.

She’s blowing on her wound when I return. “I can’t believe you’re stupid enough to pick it up. There’s a broom by the counter.”

“I panicked.” She reasons out, as if that’s enough reason. Her stupidity is enough reason.

I pull a stool countering her and steal her hand from her own grasp. She starts to shriek as I clean her wound. “You don’t have to shout if you don’t want to eat.” She starts to say.

“If having a wound makes you talk, I would gladly hurt you.” I reply jokingly as I continue to clean her wound.

She continues, “You don’t have to force yourself to eat if you don’t want to. You don’t have to pester me to gain attention. You don’t have to say meaningless words to gain my attention.”

“What are you—“

“You don’t have to try.” She cuts me off as I secure the bandage and then she stands up. “I’m going.”

I sigh and didn’t look back as she takes her leave. Try? Was I trying hard?

“Master, I believe, this is the hook piercing your heart.”

I look up and see Pierre, now done from the work. “The what?” I ask for him to repeat, unable to understand.

“The hook to get your heart.” He repeats gladly and calmly, and then he gives me a deep bow. “I’m off for today. Call me when there’s an emergency.”

Pierre leaves me too as Sandara. But did she?

A/N: This like my mantra before taking my luck tomorrow. Wish me luck guys!