Dara's P.O.V

I looked at my phone with my forehead creased unevenly, and groaned, “He’s not calling.”

Another irritating sip came from Bom, and the latter hastily replied, “With what you said last week, I believe he’s not going to call. He’s giving something you said, stupid and a man doesn’t back up on his word.”

I heaved a sigh and looked at my phone worriedly. Last night, due to Jiyong’s constant nagging about our trip to France next month I accidentally told him to shut up and give me some space to be alone. I was frustrated since he had been going on with that since I proposed the idea to him, and most of all, irritated with that small high-pitched voice he does while he talks, plus, he’s still calling me ahjumma. A fuse broke inside of me and I just suddenly said those words, out of the blue, without even knowing I did. The last thing I know, Jiyong sang a verse from Do you wanna build a snowman. “Okay, bye.” He sang, and went out of my room. Since then, I never heard of him.

I took a sip from my drink, finally giving up on my phone and placed it carefully on the table, the screen up in case I receive a call or text from Jiyong. Bom took a tentative sip from her drink, and it became much more irritating than before, because her cup was already empty. Giving up, she took off the straw and said, “Teddy Appa is holding a get together at his café, staff members and close friends only.”

It has been one year since I’ve seen Teddy Appa. He’s the owner of the café us girls used to work at as singers. It was supposed to be only me because the other three doesn’t really need money at all. But Teddy Appa won’t accept me as his waitress and he can only hire girls of my age to be singers plus he required that the singers should be a group. So the girls compromised and decided they’ll go with me to be singers so I could have the extra money for our income. I was reluctant at first, but hey, the money was helpful. After six months, we resigned partly because I need to focus on my studies and partly because Jiyong found out and he got mad. I told you, he has money issues.

I was tempted to go, but I knew Jiyong would go too because he’s a friend. “I don’t want to.” I lied, placing my forehead against the table. “Yah, don wanna if he’s there.”

“Aigoo,” Bom sighed. “Teddy Appa will get mad if you’re like that. Come on, Dara, it’s just for this day. And besides, how can you be so sure that Jiyong will be there if he promised he’ll give you space?”

My forehead creased. Well, she had a point, which was unusual. But still, she had. I knew Jiyong too well, and he doesn’t back up on his word.

I tilted my head so that I could see Bom, but she could only see my eyes. “Okay.” I affirmed and went back to facing the table.

The outside of the café was unusually bland and undecorated. He must’ve just taken down the decorations used for Christmas and is now getting ready for summer. Teddy Appa always changes the physical look of his café according to the season. The last time I saw this café, which was just yesterday because I walk here whenever I’m on my way home, there were still Christmas decorations.

Bom opened the glass door and stepped inside while I quietly followed her from behind, keeping out a keen eye to notice some things I find unfamiliar. She called out loudly, “Appa~” and proceeded deeper in the café in search of the owner. I turned towards the right and saw Ahreum, the café’s barista.

“Ahreum-ah~” I called her name, waving my hand out to her. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Ahreum was born mute, so in order to communicate with her I tried to understand sign language. It was hard to distinguish at first, but after six months of working here, I had adjusted and learned, not only the sign language, but also things about her. When she’s honest, her hands would move slowly and gracefully. When she’s angry, they move aggressively and as if it was moving in a box, always stopping suddenly. But there would be times that she was maltreated by the customers. Often times, they would shout at her if she doesn’t reply and regard her as rude and it would be either me or Jiyong who will save her. Ahreum liked Jiyong, a lot. She even told me that. I was fine with it. If there’s someone I’m fine having a crush on my boyfriend that would be Ahreum. She’s just too good to be true, yet her illness gives her the limitations.

Ahreum told me through sign language, Hi Unnie! Teddy-nim is upstairs, organizing the tables for the party later.

“Thanks.” I smiled at her, and then turned at Bom. “Ahreum said that he’s upstairs.”

“Oh,” Bom commented, looking over her shoulder to Ahreum. “Thanks ‘reum! How’s life? Found your Jiyong yet?” She teased.

Ahreum blushed, her face being covered by a huge red coloration. Her hands were shaking too much for her to respond properly, because it was completely stuck when she was trying to say Um. Bom and I decided she already found her love, and bid her a temporary goodbye before we left off to the second floor.

Every level of the staircase of the café has one quote from the favorite book of Teddy Appa’s friends. Quotes come in order by age from: Psy, Tablo, Gummy, Tukutz, Mithra, Bom, Seven, and I then on the second set of stairs: Top, Taeyang, Jiyong, Daesung, Seungri, Chaerin, Minzy, and Lee Hi. I almost tripped while reading per quote, a habit I usually do whenever I’m in the shop. They were inspiring enough to make your day, aside from Daesung who only wrote: Fighting! He got it from an old World War II book, and thought it meant: Go for it! but it was really a battle cry.

We reached the second floor, and I half expected it to be as dull as the first floor. I didn’t think it would be this extravagant.

On the wall opposite to where I’m standing was a large wallpaper or photo rather of all of us. It was taken dated last summer, where we all decided to take culinary lessons from Jiyong’s family’s culinary school for free. I didn’t learn anything at all, since the ingredients we used were all expensive that I can’t afford it. Red velvet and jet black colored lounges fill the room in a nice, exquisite and elegant way, having a ratio of 2:1 with a table. The sound system, which was horrible before, was now that of like a home theatre. Huge speakers were installed on all four corners, a projector was hanging from the ceiling and was pointed at a huge white screen at the corner, and the ceiling, I could make up a big slit, where I assume a television would come out anytime if a button is pushed. The lights were not as bright as they were before. They were dim enough to make you feel cozy, yet bright enough for the benefit of your eyes. At the front, against our big photo, was an arrangement quite familiar to me. It was still the same color of lounges, though they were arranged as though one would fit to like how it was placed. They circled a large oval table. And of course, I won’t overlook the host, who looked fine with his casual ‘business’ suit. Teddy Appa gave us a full megawatt smile, brighter than the lights he installed.

“I was expecting you later.” He said, bowing down to pick something up and plugged an electric cord in an extension cord. All the lights suddenly turn off and was replaced a spotlight directing to the lounges at the front. “Is this better?”

“No,” Bom replied straightforwardly. “I prefer the lights before.”

Teddy Appa plugged off the spotlight and dropped the extension cord on the floor, not bothering if it would crack with the impact on the hard cement. “I’m still preparing for the reunion later, but I guess if you’re already here, nothing would be prepared.”

“So you’re trying to tell me,” Teddy started to say, as soon as my problem sunk into his thick head. “, that you both are fighting?”

“Not that I see it as fighting.” Bom clarified, crossing her arms. “More of, he’s just giving her some space.”

“Hold on.” Teddy held up a hand, stopping Bom for talking further. “Moments ago, you were telling me they broke up, then they made up again and then they decided to go to France. Now, you’re suddenly telling me that they’re in a middle of a cool off? On a scale of chemistry to physics, how complicated is this problem?”

“Math,” Bom answered, without batting her eyelids. Teddy speaks no further.

I was about to speak, but I was interrupted by a large shriek from the stairs. “Oppa!” It cried and I heard its footsteps coming in our way. Before I could turn to see, he had already had his arms wrapped around Teddy’s neck. Yes, it was a he and you would believe it was Seungri. He started to jump up and down, squealing like a pig about to be roasted.

“Yah, Seungri get your arms off me!” Teddy complained, trying to take off the maknae’s iron grasp on his neck though he made no progress. Daesung, who was following Seungri all along, appeared beside me and said, “Annyeong!”

“Hey, Dae.” Bom was the one who greeted back. “How’s Engineering?”

“Tough.” He admitted, a little bashful and cocking his head to the side. “I still want to shift to Guidance Counseling but my parents wanted me to take on Engineering. They said they won’t pay for my fees if I chose guidance.”

“What a bore,” Bom replied, rolling her eyes and then turned to Seungri. “What about you panda?”

“Oh, I’m not shifting Mass Communication.” Seungri replied, still hugging Teddy but now rubbing his head against Teddy’s.

“Stupid, I know you won’t shift. I was referring to your problem at hand.” Bom clarified.

Seungri’s face changed, and his grasp on Teddy loosened, causing for the latter to remove it finally. But as quick as his change of mood, he suddenly smiles and changed the topic, “Oh, I saw the Hyungs and Lee Hi on the way here. They just talked to Ahreum for a little while back at the counter. I can sense them going up the stairs.”

Creases formed on Bom’s forehead, and she was about to say something, but again, was interrupted when someone burst into the room with a low greeting of hello. Bom stiffened; I trembled; Seungri occupied the seat beside me quickly, while Daesung took his time to take the seat at the end. I felt his presence behind me, even his breath. I gulped an amount of saliva down my throat, washing alongside my fear, but it didn’t subside, instead it multiplied in the depths of my stomach.

“Wassup,” Teddy greeted, but was directly looking at me. He faintly smirked, the tips of his lips twitching awkwardly on his face and revealed a half-smirk, half-smile. Jiyong seemed to act as nonchalant as he was, completely avoiding me as he does in the mobile/internet world and replied with a low, “Fine.”

I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat, squirming in awkwardness and murmured, “I need to go to the washroom. Please, excuse me.”

I quickly stood up, unbalancing myself and almost stumbled down. Luckily, I was caught with one hand and I was too late when I turned to thank. Of course it was Jiyong; he was the only one behind me.

“Don’t mention it.” He said, coldly as if he just had chewed a handful of eucalyptus. I nodded, and ran to the washroom. My steps thundered loudly on the cemented floor, but no one minded. Even Jiyong. As I disappeared into the first floor, descending down the stairs with such haste I would be scolded at by a peace regulator, I thought about Calypso. The alone and abandoned beautiful girl on an island, helping the astray, being promised at but not rescued. A love forever requited.

But it’s a different issue for me. I was abandoned. He could come back.

I just have to apologize.

It took me half an hour to review my speech, think of possible reactions, even comical ones and prepare my one reason for the whole misunderstanding. Some may think that I have gone too far. Well, being away from Jiyong seems like an eternity. It’s like a deep void or abyss, cannot be filled by someone unless by him. I think it’s a different form of intimacy. A kind, wherein people would refer to it as ‘you couldn’t breathe when he’s not there’.

I proceeded to the second floor, expecting that the arrangement was still the same as before, but it wasn’t. The others who weren’t there before I went out were already present, and all of them each occupied the lounge destined for them to sit on. Lee Hi likes it if the lounge is extra comfy and slightly turned to the right; Top occupies the longest one; Bom has the widest one beside Top; Seungri’s backrest is slightly taller than the others because he likes banging his head back all the time; Teddy and Seven wants it normal; Psy’s was weird; Tablo had armrests; Mithra preferred his seat to be heated; Tukutz have a special iPod dock on his seat; Minzy was slightly designed to be childish; Chaerin preferred it to be crooked; Mine looked like it was made straight out of Candy Kingdom while Jiyong’s, well, his was just like a King’s. The problem is: the seats were arranged according to who’s the one you’re closest to. And in the oval arranged seats, it was arranged like this starting from the left end: Tukutz (since he likes to be alone sometimes), Mithra, Tablo, Seven, Top (he was placed at the end because his seat was long), Bom, Me, Jiyong, Seungri, Chaerin, Lee Hi, Minzy and then Daesung. Several heads turned to me, some gasped, and some were appalled. The first one to jump from her seat was Lee Hi, who I didn’t see for almost two months because she was still, unlike the others (Teddy and the other older Oppas are a different case) were college students. She still attends high school. I sat between Jiyong and Bom, looking directly at Lee Hi which means I can see Jiyong in my peripheral vision. “Ne, Unnie.” Lee Hi started. “You look gorg.” I gaped.

“It means gorgeous, for the matter.” Bom said, as if sensing my bewilderment. “It doesn’t mean gore, or o-organism. I forgot this story is not rated.”

“Well,” I flashed a smile. “Thanks.”

Pretty much, the whole conversation that existed within all of us were about catching up. We talked about random things: my quest to find my father, Psy’s newest theme park in London, Teddy’s upcoming new branch at Hokkaido, Tablo’s daughter Haru will be attending school next school year, Tukutz has been producing songs, and Mithra is still Mithra. Ahreum appeared shortly to introduce all of us to her boyfriend Seungyoon, and then they left as quickly as they appeared. Nothing was ever put up that regards me and Jiyong, until the food was served by Ahreum. Psy, while eating the appetizer, asked what we were doing. Everyone waited in anticipation; Bom nudged me with her elbow. I was too stunned to even reply, my face now red from embarrassment.

“We’re doing fine.” Jiyong replied smoothly. “I’m going with her to France after graduation. Then maybe, we can get married.”

Marriage!

“I’m going to ask her hand from her father first.” He added, smiling slyly. “I believe, he should see me.”

“Well,” Tablo nodded. “That’s a good start for you two. If ever you need a tip about married life, well, I’m here to listen to you Jiyong. As for Dara, my wife is always open for guests.”

Then, the topic shifted again. I excused myself again, now saying I needed air because my lungs were acting weird again and I need to wheeze every so often to breathe. They regarded me with concern, but I assured them I was fine. They continued with their discussion, and I went to the balcony to get some air.

My lungs feel like they with their job. I was wheezing. The air, which seems to be cold and dense didn’t help me at all. I inhaled some air and exhaled, repeating the process continually. I momentarily turned, and jumped when I saw Jiyong standing by the entrance. He regarded me with care, and my wheezes turned frequent. He didn’t help at all.

My tears were worse. They streamed out of my eyes out of the blue, giving me occasional hiccups. “Sorry.” I muttered. “I’m really sorry.”

He didn’t move from his spot, and his next words pierced my heart. “Do you need more space?”

I shook my head, wiping my tears using the back of my hand and wheezed again. “I was just irritated with your aegyo, that’s all and I didn’t know I would say those words out of my mouth.” I replied. “When you were gone, you were like a void that cannot be filled. I was empty. Even for a day, I missed you.”

I saw him smile. Oh gods, how I missed that smile. He opened up his arms, as if urging me to hug him and said, “Come on.”

I ran up to him and hugged him while he wrapped his arms around my waist protectively. I sobbed against his collar, and Jiyong would whisper encouraging words against my ear to calm me down. After a seemed so many minutes, he said, “I was really worried that I gave you space. You know, many things might happen if I left my eye on you. But I was thinking: love is about trust. You can’t always trust someone you love, but you could always love someone you trust. So, loving you meant trusting you, right? That’s what I think so.”

I wiped my tears against his shirt, which made him laugh. “Okay,” He said, laughing. “I’m going to have special care on that in laundry.”

I looked up, and our eyes met. Maybe not, because his eyes were smiling, and it was hard to see his pupils with them doing that. My nose scrunched, my forehead creased and I did something I don’t usually do.

I kissed his nose.

A perfect boyfriend gives her space, because trust is the essential foundation of a relationship.