"Hyung, you have always been with us."

There was not a dry eye in the house.

"You will still be with us, just not literally here. Who will wake us up in the morning, who will look after us, wipe our tears and keep us motivated? Keep us in line and, most importantly, keep Kyu in line?"

This received much laughter.

"I know it seems ridiculous, that we will be able to carry on without you. It's a though most of us are too scared to think of, but I know we can do it. We will work harder to make you proud, so you will see us and feel like a proud parent. Because you really did raise us, hyung, and you can't forget that. We will all have a debt to pay to you. One of love and strength that we hope, only hope, one day we can provide you with. Enjoy your time away from the limelight, who knows, maybe you'll come back and we'll all just be normal citizens who can be happy, free and in love!"

This received a few chuckles - sarcastic ones.

"Who am I kidding, we'll never be normal. But we will miss you. We will fight, all of us!" Ryeowook raised his glass, and everyone followed suit. Leeteuk was a blubbering mess, his nose running and eyes bright red. Heechul scoffed, grabbing a tissue and throwing it his way. Leeteuk smiled.

"I love you all so much." His voice was cracking and his breaths were quickening. Everyone knew he would soon completely collapse, out of happiness, sadness, fear and impending loneliness. Shindong was the first to run up and hug him, bellowing laughter into his ear.

"You're meant to be the oldest! You baby!" He laughed as the others followed suit, creating a pile at the head of the table. Donghae flung himself between the gap of Yesung and Sungmin, grabbing tightly onto Leeteuk. Hyukjae laughed, strolling over and joining the group up, making sure his hand was on Donghae's back.

"Yah! You're suffocating me!" a muffled voice broke through the emotional members, and they quickly dispersed. "You sure do know how to knock the emotion of of a guy!" Leeteuk laughed, watching with amusement as the faces of s turned red.

"It's my turn to make a speech. And I want all of you to be silent. No heckling...Kyuhyun, I'm talking to you!" Kyuhyun mimed zipping his mouth shut.

"I'm leaving very shortly, and I'm sorry I must go. It's been put off as long as possible and if I'm honest, I'm sick of having the weight. I'm getting this service done with, and it's a relief. Youngwoon did tell me the army was less stressful than being with you bunch of brats! But I only kid, you are the most hardworking, dedicated, kindest group of men I could have been asked to lead. Time were difficult, and we went through a lot together, and apart, but look where we are. Happy, strong, together." Everyone noticed Heechul wince at this. Leeteuk reached and squeezed his shoulder. "we can't have everyone here today, but I know that they are happy too. They made the decisions that were best for them. They are better off, and even though I know that broke us, we have to respect that. Just like we have to respect each other."

Donghae glanced at Kangin, who was gripping onto the table very tightly. His grip tightened at that word, respect. Donghae knew this couldn't have been easy for him, pretending like there had been no argument. After all, no one had heard it to their knowledge. The downstairs residents knew nothing about it, and no one else was upstairs. Except him. He had to carry the burden of this secret around with him. Watching Kangin's face twist like that really stung. He knew it had to be hard for his hyung, having missed out on two years. Things were different, friendships had changed, as had people. He was inconsiderate, but it was hard. Donghae remembered coming back from China after his first SJM promotions. Heechul and Hyukjae had stopped talking and Hyukjae was clinging to Sungmin like he had during his pre-debut days. It was difficult to get used to how different people were. He knew it.

"Respect each other, get along, but most importantly, enjoy life. You're all men now. You deserve happiness. I only wish I had someone to kiss me goodbye before I left, and when you all go to the army you should wish for the same. You're idols, but you're also individuals. Find someone who makes you happy, find a hobby, do something different. We're not getting any younger, I would know." Leeteuk smiled softly. "I only wish you all further success while I am gone, and I can't wait for the day we are all sitting back in the kitchen as a group again. No one away, no one fighting, no one missing. Thank you for these years of joy and life. I-I love all of you." Leeteuk raised his glass, his tears falling once more. Everyone followed suit, sad smiles on the faces of all. Hyukjae glanced at Donghae.

I'll kiss you goodbye he mouthed. Donghae smiled.

"Now lets eat!" Ryeowook announced, jumping up and serving the food. A sudden chatter overtook the table, the deafening silence gone in an instant. Siwon started asking Hyukjae about enlisting, if the EunSiHae team would go together. Donghae laughed, deciding this was a conversation better left to his two friends. He was actually looking forward to enlisting, but not enough to discuss it for the next two hours. Instead, he turned to face Kangin, who was sitting opposite him. The man looked as though he were in another world.

"You okay?" Donghae asked, biting down on his chicken.

"Hm?"

"Youngwoon, you look a bit lost..."Donghae said through a full mouth. Kangin rolled his eyes.

"Just sad, to come back and see him leave so soon. We'll have been apart for 4 years." His voice sounded weak, probably from all the yelling. Donghae widened his eyes, trying to show comfort.

"You look like a demented dog." Sungmin pipped, giggling. Kangin nodded in agreement. Donghae quickly blinked, embarrassed his old trick couldn't work any more.

"Do not! But still, Youngwoon, don't worry! Just hope he's better at sending emails than you were!" Donghae grinned, chicken stuck in his teeth. Kangin scoffed in agreement, but didn't reply. Donghae assumed this was hitting to close to home.

At the end of the table, the two eldest were deep in conversation.

"Heechul, you'll be returning sooner than you can imagine. You'll have to look after them for me." Leeteuk had lowered his voice, assuming no one was listening. Donghae tuned out the other members and listened in. Hyukjae would call him nosy later, but he called in curious.

"I'm no leader, Jungsu, you know that." Heechul said this sadly. Leeteuk sighed.

"I'm not asking you to be one, but just look after them. I can't be around, but you can, even before you officially return."

"I am around."

"When? I always catch you coming in or leaving, but we never see you here." Leeteuk sounded slightly angry, but Donghae knew it was out of love. They all missed having Heechul around, but he was always out, not just at work but with family and friends.

"I'm enjoying my freedom - I wish you could do the same, Jungsu. I'm so sorry." Heechul looked as though he was going to cry again. Leeteuk must have sensed it. He pulled Heechul into a hug.

"I don't care what Youngwoon said, this is not your fault. Stop telling yourself that."

The group looked at their two eldest, their hearts melting at the sight. Siwon restrained himself from aww'ing at the two.

The moment passed and soon dinner was finished. The members sat around the TV and started to watch some of their own dramas, making fun of each other's acting. It had been a while since they had done this, and Donghae had missed it. Only Hyukjae ever came to his apartment, and even those times were rare. It was his own property, but it would never feel as homely as the dorms he spent most of his teenage and adult life growing up in.

Hyukjae lay on the end of the couch, his head lying back. Donghae looked at him, only to find he was sleeping. The poor man looked exhausted, now that Donghae noticed it. Even earlier, the bags under his eyes were clearly visible. Donghae nudges him slightly, but to no avail. During the laughter and joy of all being together for one last night, Hyukjae had fallen fast asleep.

Donghae looked at Leeteuk, who was engorged in Simon's drama.

"Teukie..." Donghae said softly. Leeteuk looked over. Donghae leaned back and pointed to Hyukjae. Leeteuk sighed.

"He's been overworking himself."

"Does he not rest at night?"

"I don't-"

"No." Yesung cut in abruptly from the ground in front of the couch. "He's up all night - I can hear him tapping away, sometimes he sniffles or yawns, but mainly he's just working. I heard him dancing once."

"Donghae, take him downstairs. Can you manage?" Leeteuk said with some demand. He may be leaving, but his concern for the others would always be there. Donghae nodded, and softly picked up Hyukjae, holding him in his arms. He looked frail in some photos, but Hyukjae was anything but. Muscle mass was the heaviest of all.

Leeteuk got up to open the door, a grumbling Heechul reluctantly moving his head off of Leeteuk's lap. Donghae felt fuzzy inside, looking back at all the content members. He wished Hyukjae could be sitting there, smiling and laughing with the others. He promised to make sure Hyukjae would get some more sleep.

"Hae, you need to watch him." Leeteuk said quietly at the door. "He's never smiling when you're not around."

"You should look after yourself too, hyung. You were pretty broken in the van, and you just seem...sadder." Donghae wanted to confront Leeteuk about Kangin and Heechul's argument, but he knew it was the wrong time.

"I know. But I've got Kangin to be my bodyguard, and Heechul my therapist." He laughed, "Hyukjae has you now, for everything, so don't let it go to waste."

Donghae nodded and stepped out the open door, carrying Hyukjae to the elevator. It would be easier on the sleeping beauty to go in the slow working but less bumpy ride downstairs. Except Donghae didn't press the 11th floor. He went all the way downstairs.

The members wanted to sleep over, spend the night together. Donghae knew this, but Hyukjae needed alone time. He needed space to think, sleep, dream. He needed one night without someone screaming in the night, or coming home late. He needed peace.

"Mr Lee, are you heading to your apartment?" The van driver opened the door for the two Lee men. Donghae nodded, and motioned for them to be quiet, looking down at the still sleeping man in his arms.

"He needs time to rest."

"I'll make the journey as smooth as possible."

Donghae smiled at the driver and sat down next to his sleeping anchovy. Quickly, he texted Leeteuk.

Taking Hyukjae back to my place. He needs some peace and quiet. He's still sleeping. Hope it's okay, sorry to leave! - Hae

It only took a moment for Leeteuk to text him back.

You always know the right thing to do. Look after him. Make sure he actually sleeps. We'll be fine here, knowing these boys we'll be up all night anyway. You get some rest too. - Jungsu

Donghae felt relieved. He was Hyuk's caretaker for the night.

A body stirred in his arms. Hyukjae opened his eyes slightly, looking up at Donghae.

"Hae...where...I'm con-"

"Shhh" Donghae leaned down and kissed Hyukjae softly. "We're going home for one night."