"Your name is Lee Donghae?"

"Yes."

"And you work for SM Entertainment?

"I'm a member of Super Junior, so..."

"So?"

"So...yes, yes I work for SM. SM Entertainment."

"And the patient you brought in is Lee Hyukjae?"

"Yes."

"And he is your co-worker?"

"Eunhyuk is my co-worker. Lee Hyukjae is my...friend."

The nurse looked up, meeting Donghae's red and swollen eyes. It has been 20 minutes, 20 minutes of endless questions about what had happened, previous medical histories, previous psychological problems, their working life, the stress, the strain. She knew most of the answers, after Hangeng's departure and the never ending disputes over the TVXQ members, most of Korea knew about the stress and strain they felt. Yet she had to ask. Had to confirm.

"Ok, I'm going to just talk with the other two boys and send this off. You're free to go, thank you Mr. Lee." She stood up and bowed, walking to the door and opening it for him. Donghae remained seating, staring at the wall.

"Where do these questions go?" He asked, his voice low and scratched.

"Just to the doctors. And we have to file a report to your company. The normal."

The normal. No other company in Korea would want this kind of report. But this wasn't any other company. They had to make sure everything was in their knowledge. Maybe 5 years ago they could get away with going to the nearest hospital and sending in someone secretly, but not now. Everything was written, reported and filed away. Every single thing.

Donghae stood up, bowed, and quickly walked out of the room. Kyuhyun nearly crashed into him, trying to enter the room. The two exchanged glances, Kyuhyun's eyes large and worried. Donghae pushed by and began walking down the hallway, towards the side reception.

"Donghae." Yesung called after him, standing and jogging to reach him. "Donghae, look at me." Why should I. I need to see Hyukjae. "Let me at least talk to you for a moment." What could you know, what could you have to say. "Look, Siwon spoke to me before the meeting. I just want you to know what he said."

Donghae spun around, grabbing his shoulder, staring into his eyes. "What did he say. I want every word. Every one." Yesung shivered, lightly removing his hand and taking a small step back.

"Siwon said...I'm sure he'll tell you once he gets here, once you see him, but I know you want to know. Ok. So, Eunhyuk spoke to him recently about some stress he was feeling, some anger, some pain. He said he couldn't sleep, he was scared about failing us. He was scared you were always gone, scared about something to do with you not being around all the time. He was scared about Heechul-hyung's temper, and his absence, and how we would cope without Leeteuk. He said he wanted to do his best, but he was so worried, and that -" Yesung paused, gulping. Donghae was staring intensely, not moving a single muscle.

"He was worried he would have to sacrifice you to stop the strain." Yesung took a step back. Donghae shook his head, stepping back, biting his lip, clenching his fists, looking around.

"I need to see him." Donghae ran, down the corridor, to the main entrance. He ignored the comments of the staff, telling him he couldn't run, he couldn't treat the hospital like a playground. He ran down the corridor they had taken Hyukjae to, looking in every room past the halfway mark. The windows were small, but he could see. Empty beds. Medical equipment. Sick patients. Families. Flowers. Hope. Despair.

Hyukjae.

A doctor was hovering above him, putting needles into his arms. His head was bandaged, and on his left ring finger a large plastic block was clamped down, a dim red light shining from it. The IV drip began dripping, and the meters began beeping. Donghae rattled the door, only to find it locked. He kept pulling, pushing, kicking lightly. Hyukjae didn't turn his head, he didn't move an inch. Donghae began knocking, franticly, until a doctor finally came and unlocked the door, stepping outside.

"I'm assuming you're here to see Mr. Lee?" He asked, standing protectively in front of the door.

"Please can I speak to him. I need to. It's urgent."

"I'm sorry, but unless you're a family member, or his wife, we cannot allow people inside until we have finished the tests."

Donghae fell back against the wall, sliding to the floor. He clutched his head, looking towards the doctor.

"Please, tell me what's wrong with him." His voice was hoarse, pleading. The doctor knelt down and patted him lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm assuming your the friend who brought him in, yes?" Donghae nodded. "You did a good job, keeping his head stable, giving him some water, keeping him warm. I listened in on part your interview, really, you did a good job. But he's not in the best condition."

"Why?"

"That I can't answer, I'm afraid. But I can tell you the what. He's suffering from extreme exhaustion, or so it seems. The symptoms point to that. Perhaps slight malnourishment, dehydration, consistent - abuse of the muscles, if you will. It doesn't seem he's rested enough. As for his head, he hit it hard when he fell. He has a concussion, the severity of it I cannot tell you yet. But it seems to be...more than mild." Donghae let out a sob, biting into his fist.

"Will he be fine?" He said, his voice muffled through his hand. The doctor smiled slightly.

"Sir, I can assure you he will be fine. We've dealt with much worse. This should be a short battle, easily won-"

"Should be?"

"In medicine, nothing is a guarentee, just as we can never be sure we will be alive tomorrow, never be sure everything is always as it seems. Should is a precautionary term, but I can almost surely guarantee, he just needs time and rest." The doctor stood up, offering a hand for Donghae to take. Reluctantly, Donghae took it, and stood up. "Just wait a small while, we'll call you in when you can visit." He smiled and turned to go back inside the room, to go back to see Hyukjae, tend to him, fix him.

"Can...can you pass him a message? Is he awake? Can you tell him something?"

"He's awake for the moment, what would you like me to tell?"

"Tell him...say that I'm waiting. Donghae, Donghae is waiting, and that I'll be there to hold his hand soon. That's I'm here." The doctor nodded, smiling, before returning back inside and locking the door. Donghae watched him walk over to the bed, bend down, and say something to Hyukjae. Slowly, Hyukjae's head turned towards the doctor. His eyes were red, his cheeks wet, lips quivering. He looked less pale than before, but still paler than normal.

But there was the hint of a smile.

Donghae stepped back from the window. He knew how much Hyukjae hated people seeing his weak side, seeing how fragile and vulnerable he really was. If he had gone to Siwon about his problems instead of him, he must have really been scared. He didn't want to intrude, not yet. But something still felt out of place.

He was worried he would have to sacrifice you to stop the strain.

Yesung's words echoed through his mind, hitting every nerve possible. He couldn't figure it out. Did Hyukjae think their relationship was distracting him from his roles? Was it too much responsibility? Why would he think of sacrificing them?

The lights of the side entrance blared in his eyes. Donghae looked around before walking through the doors. Leeteuk was sitting on a far couch, clutching his phone for dear life. Siwon was near him, looking around nervously. Any other members were out of sight, or not there yet. Sighing, Donghae pushed the doors open and walked towards the two.

"Hae...how is he?" Leeteuk stood immediately, dropping his phone on his chair. Siwon glanced upwards, then dropped his eyes. Donghae was glaring at him, and coming nearer with every step.

"I need to talk with Siwon. And I want you there too, hyung." He pointed towards a room located near the main desk, labeled 'coffee'. Siwon stood, his head bowed, and walked towards it. Leeteuk looked towards the room, then to Donghae, but followed Siwon none the less.

Donghae quickly told the receptionist where he would be, then walked in to find Leeteuk and Siwon sitting at a small table in the far corner. He took in a deep breath, and walked towards them.

"Siwon, I need to hear everything. Everything he told you. Please." Donghae sat down, crossing his arms and leaning forwards. Siwon nodded slowly, his eyes glued to the table.

"Hyukjae called me when he was in Greece. He was crying, asking how we were, asking if we were fine. It was clear he meant you specifically, but I went along with it. Every night, until he came back. Once he came back, I left it. He seemed happy enough, relaxed, but he got more wound up. When we was in Amsterdam, he called me again, and then throughout his trip, he kept calling me. Asking how we were. The same thing-"

"Siwon, I want to know what he came to talk to you about."

"I'm getting there. This is important. Once he came back, I confronted him. I told him it was clear that he was calling to check on you, not on us. I asked if he had called you every day, but he said he only kept in touch via-"

"E-mails. I know this."

"Donghae, let Siwon finish." Leeteuk interjected, only to be met by a icy cold glare from Donghae. "He's going somewhere, just let him explain." There was silence. Siwon took this as his cue.

"Yes, by e-mails. I asked him why, and he didn't explain. He said he was just testing the waters, you know, that kind of vague talk he gives sometimes. So I let it slide, until a few days ago when he came to me. You were at your apartment, and he came back late. I was in the dorms for a night, early schedule for...sorry, besides the point, but he saw me and decided to speak to me. He told me about why he kept saying we. He said that as leader, he needed to care about all of us, not just you. I explained that we understood your relationship, and therefore understood where your priorities lay. He just kept shaking his head, saying he was almost a leader, almost, not there yet. He kept saying he had to look after all of us now, not just you. But he still wanted to look after you. I asked him why he was so stressed, so delicate all of a sudden. He explained that he had heard...fighting." Leeteuk stiffened, looking briefly towards Siwon.

"I don't care he's here, Siwon, say everything." Donghae spat out the words, his anger rising.

"He said...he said he heard Heechul and Kangin hyungs yelling at each other. And he said he saw Leeteuk crying, a lot, and he was scared. If two best friends couldn't get along, he was worried about you. He didn't want his relationship to get in the way of him leading the band. He was scared that you two being together would cause tension, and he didn't want that. He didn't want to treat you any better because of your status, but he didn't want to treat you the same as the others for the same reason. So he worked harder. He's been practicing at all hours of the night, keeping himself to himself to get better. He took his holidays now so he wouldn't have to take them later. I asked why he left without you, and he said that he wanted to grow used to living without you, condition himself, just in case."

"Stop." Donghae wanted to explode. Hyukjae had been keeping in all his pains, imploding from the pressure. It wasn't their relationship that was worrying him, but rather the conflict between who should come first, Donghae or the group. The way Leeteuk and Kangin had started fighting after Leeteuk's priorities had shifted was stressful, scary and displaced him. It was clear.

"Donghae, he doesn't want you to see him like this, that's why he's keeping it to himself." Siwon reached forward and grabbed his hand. Donghae looked up and nodded, before turning to Leeteuk.

"I need you and Kangin and Heechul to stop. Please." Leeteuk sighed.

"It's not that simple, Hae, you know that."

"No, I don't. But it's not fair! He fainted, hyung, he fainted and hurt himself and now he's in hospital! You leaving, it's not doing us any good! And now you won't stop fighting...I wasn't even aware until a few days ago, but he's clearly been aware for a while. Do you understand what kind of position this puts him in? It's like looking into a bad version of the future! You're not supporting him because you're so busy fighting and supporting and just being all consumed with Heechul and Kangin!" Donghae was fuming, trying his best to keep it together. Leeteuk blinked, tears catching on his eyelashes.

"I've been trying to help. Really. But Heechul needs me now. I'm going, for two years-"

"I know. We all know. Heechul knows. Kangin knows. SM knows. WE KNOW. But you've given these duties to Hyukjae, literally thrown them at him. He works so hard, and now he has to work harder. And he's scared. Too scared to even tell me."

"I know."

"So DO SOMETHING!" Donghae was visibly shaking, his hands tightening, nails digging into his skin. Siwon continued to hold his hand, tighter now, holding it back. Leeteuk let his tears run free, staining his cheeks.

"Donghae, please try to understand. I clung to Heechul once Youngwoon left, he guided me step by step through my daily activities. Even after he went to the army, he's always been here. And now, I can't be there for him. I don't want to leave him. With Youngwoon being so...so hostile towards him, it's my duty to make sure that I leave with them in peace. Shindong has Nari to lean on, Yesung has Ryeowook for comfort, Siwon has his family, Sungmin has Kyuhyun, Hyukjae has you, you will always be there for him, but Heechul, when he comes back, has no one. And neither does Kangin, not now. I know you all need me, but I'm scared of what will happen when I leave." Leeteuk hunched over, his chest heaving. Donghae looked to Siwon.

"Hae, do you understand what Teukie-hyung is saying?" Donghae took a deep breath. He tried to understand. Tried to understand why Leeteuk would ignore Hyukjae, why he would just ignore everything to try and solve one specific problem. But he couldn't.

"Hyung, Hyukjae is the most important person in the world to me. If he's hurt, if this happens again, I don't know what I'll do. So just...just fix this before you go. Please. I've always counted on you. I love you like a brother, so just do this for me. For Hyukjae. Because if he's broken, even cracked in the slightest, I don't know what I'll do." Donghae stood up, suppressing his tears for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. Leeteuk looked up at him, shaking.

"I'm so sorry, Donghae, I am so, so sorry."

"The doctors said he should be okay." Donghae said the words without emotion, stating the fact. He should be okay. Should.

No. It's Hyukkie. He will be okay. He's not my co-worker. He's not my friend. He's my everything.

He has to be okay.

_____________________

a/n: i've been waiting to post this for a few days and i couldn't wait any longer! thank you for all your feedback, it's great knowing what everyone thinks! and thank you so much for reading this, i hope you enjoy it (despite the angst....soon, the positivity will fizzle back to life! soon!!)