Chapter 9: I Am (Not) Helping

“You want me to what, now?”

Himchan found himself dumbfounded. He clearly wasn’t expecting this when he opened the door one morning after getting himself patched up the night before. He looked at his face in the mirror to see a panda version of himself looking at him. He looked so dry… and lifeless. He touched the eye bags and the dark circles forming. He was quite thankful that his eyes had not become quite puffy from all the crying he did last night. And finally, he touched the small patch on his lip, carefully placed by the young man whom he feels is most to blame in this whole frenzy.

Why did you have to be so perfect?

He sighed at the thought. He remembered how frantic Yongguk was when he saw him bleeding, rushing to his side and placing a clean handkerchief to his face just to stop him from bleeding. It felt like heaven to him but that heaven was cut short with the realization that Yongguk had touched somebody else far more intimate and passionate than how he had touched him. The small patch on his lips was not enough to remedy the pain that he was feeling. It felt like he could just lie down all day and wallow down in misery.

So, it was quite a start when the almost exact replica of the same man stood before him after ringing the bell.

“Help me out, I said.” He repeated. Stern, calm and his eyes penetrating.

“With what, exactly?” but before he could finish his line, the man walks into his home and slumps on the floor as he proceeds to blab about how he had a difficult time looking for Himchan’s house. He added that the place was much easier to track in the dark than it was in the morning. It really did appear like he had a hard time finding his home, seeing how sweaty the man was as he dropped his coat by the table.

“Also, what happened to your lip? Did you get bitten by Yongguk?”

Himchan did not have an answer to that, he just kept stuttering and getting flustered. It didn’t help that he had quite a very wild and vivid imagination. And seeing the same face on the room did not help.

“Relax, I was kidding, and he’s not exactly the wild biting kisser type as far as I know,”

“WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP SAY—”

“Anyway, as I said, help me out? You’re close to him, it’ll be easier for you.”

And just like that he calms his nerves down.

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“So, basically, you want me to help you, help Yongguk, to introduce this guy to your parents,”

What kind of ing joke is this?

What kind of a sick man are you, Yongnam?

“Uh… yes. Basically.”

“Why me?”

Really.

But seriously, why him. Himchan had a lot of thoughts in his head and he felt like he could just stab Yongnam in the eye with a very hot French fry. He was just mourning the night before, and now, this guy just comes in and asks him for a favor of such magnitude that he just want to choke on a bagel and die.

Seriously, what the , heaven?

“Because you know him better, and my parents trust you,”

Wait, what?

“I haven’t even met your—”

“He talks about you a lot, didn’t I tell you that? The stories are enough for them to know you, and you’re pretty much a good guy in their eyes. You won’t mean our boy any harm,”

And once again, Himchan found himself in a vivid sea of thoughts. It felt perfect. It felt like his in-laws loved him even before they met. But then again, the concern at hand brought him back to earth, with a feeling of frustration. Even though he wanted to help Yongnam out, and even though he only wished for Yongguk’s happiness, he still cannot find it in himself to help him end up with this one guy whom he doesn’t even know. If anything, he’d help their parents, not him.

“I don’t know, Yongnamn, it’s just that,”

“It’s for my brother’s happiness.”

He just had to use the happiness card.

But how can he help him if his happiness would be his sadness? Himchan was selfish that way and he has no shame about it.

“He has wanted this all his life, I can’t fail him,” with conviction.

“Isn’t that too much? Saying he has wanted this all his life?” Because seriously.

But Himchan can actually empathize. He understands, but he refuses to admit it, he knows how it feels to have something that you have always wanted right in front of you, ready for the taking. And when you are just about to grasp it, something, someone takes it away. This is all too familiar to him.

“You have no idea, his passion, it’s different – it’s scary,”

His passion.

Himchan wished he could be on the other end of that passion.

“Yeah, I really don’t—”

“Music is his life, if my parents start on the wrong foot with this talent manager, Yongguk will be crushed.”

Huh.

Wait.

WHAT.

“I mean, Mr. Park has been bugging him for eight months and Yongguk just agreed to be observed for about three months. It’s a very sensitive stage right now,”

Himchan just felt like Yongnam’s voice was echoing in his empty hall of a head. It felt like he was hearing what he was saying but was unable to grasp the whole situation.

“I can’t even—” he doesn’t know what to say. All he knows is that it felt like a huge stake had been taken out from a hole where his heart used to be. And it felt like he was really, actually, positively overflowing.

“My brother has the talent, he has the passion and the dedication, the only thing standing between him and his dreams are my parents and I just— uh… why are you crying?”

And Himchan just lunges at Yongnam, with tears in his face, laughing hysterically and continuously declaring that yes, he will help them and that he will do everything in his power to make sure that Yongguk gets his happiness.

Yongnam just laughs with him and pats him, commenting how he didn’t imagine there was a fraction of truth to how Yongguk described him as the overly excited one.

But Himchan muses that ‘excited’ just doesn’t make the cut.

He was happy, he was crazy, he was ecstatic.

Himchan could not wait to meet his parents.

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Note: I hear happy people :D I was going to update the day after Chapter 8 got posted but my internet died. Sorry for the long wait!