Chapter 13: I'm (Not) Squealing

“Himchan, I—”

And his phone rings.

ing piece of—

Yongguk’s eyes widen, looks at the wretched device and tugs his arm off of Himchan’s tight grab. The man throws his hands up in the air, and just walks off. Himchan realized how pissed he was when the man didn’t even look back as he walked off.

“God, you’re so frustrating,” he says loudly. Himchan has never seen the man like this before. But before he could react, he flips his phone, hearing Jieun’s voice.

“Gurl, Imma call you back, he’s having a hissy fit,” he said as he picked up on his steps and moved from where he had been frozen.

The light voice on the other line just squealed, “Trouble in paradise! Kiss and make up quick, okay? Then call me!” and the line was dead.

Good God, you’re adorable.

“Wait! Hold up! Y—you think I’m frustrating?! Dammit, hold up!” And he chases him, taking larger steps to match the man’s speedy ones.

If Himchan was frustrating, Yongguk was frustration personified, he thought to himself.

- - -

Himchan just sat in his bed. He knew that if he turned the lights on, he would see himself blushing madly. He brought his face to his knees and just smiled, burying his face into them. Nothing really happened, he just chased him off and asked what his problem was. Of course, he didn’t get the answer that he wanted. He was not really expecting to get an answer anyway. Knowing the past for a good year, spending time with him, he knew he was not the type who would just suddenly talk about his feelings, or be honest when it came to these things.

Despite being the very vocal and amazing force on stage, Yongguk was a different man on his waking life. He was honest, but he will find a way to make it sound sweeter than how it really was. No matter how things turn out or the circumstances force him into a corner, he will always try and succeed in finding a way to beat around the bush, so as to sugar coat things that needed to be said. He will say things in the least offending way, if only to cushion the blow.

But when it came to things that concerned him, his feelings, and other things personal, he had the tendency to keep things to himself. It was just the way he was, and Himchan always tried to pry, but only few times was he successful. Very few. And tonight was not one of those rare and few occasions.

In a way, he had learned more about it him than how the talks would. Without the words, he observed him more. The little quirks, the small gestures and the ways he behaved, it felt like he knows him more than anyone now. But then again, he would at least want to hear things from him. And that had become quite another resolution.

“Forget it,”

“What the hell, Yongguk?”

“Tsk, if you can’t tell by looking, then it’s useless to explain,”

He was pissed.

Bloody pissed.

And he was hot… being bloody pissed.

Himchan rubbed his cheek against his knees, he swayed left and right and just let himself fall to his side. He closed his eyes, replayed the scene on his head. Repeating it, from the moment he received that last text from Jieun, to the moment he chased him.

He was jealous.

“You were jealous, weren’t you?” Himchan talked to a poster of Jepp Blackman hanging on his wall. He had it autographed by the man, joking that he was going to put it up on his wall for dart practice, or just in case Jepp gets famous and Himchan needed money.

“You were, just be honest with me, okay? You can be honest, I won’t mind,” he said again. It was not as if the poster will actually talk back to him, but the feeling made him happy. Everything about the night just made him happy.

“Alright, let’s just kiss and make up, okay?”final words. Damn, was he shameless.

A jealous Yongguk made Himchan happy. It’s not like something happened, but there was a little something. And a little something was kind of a big deal for their snail-paced story.

If anything, a little reaction meant a lot for him. Seeing as how he had been chasing him all throughout the year. Then again, whatever he was doing, was he doing enough? For a second, Himchan doubted himself. Maybe the reason why they were so slow was because he, himself, was slow. He didn’t know how the man felt, he was his closest friend. But closest friend doesn’t really make the cut. Maybe it starts something, but given the wrong turn, it may end badly. Himchan dreaded the legendary friend zone. Always the friend, never the boyfriend. He didn’t want that, but he thought that taking small steps would be the best plan of action.

Was he wrong?

- - -

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t expect that. Standing on his doorstep, after running his errands, Himchan found Yongguk standing by his home.

“What are you…?” he wanted to ask, if only to hear it again. If only to see Yongguk looking away again, his cheeks flushed from the cold, or maybe by the shyness that he was feeling.

“Do I really need to repeat myself?” The man slumps his shoulders, but Himchan knew he wasn’t exactly being serious.

“Not exactly, but I didn’t really hear you, with that big scarf and all.” he laughed.

“I said I was sorry,” the man stuck his hand out, a coffee in hand, with a badly written ‘Himchan’

“Caramel macchiato, with extra syrup, exactly how you like it,” he said. He remembered how he liked it. Himchan thought he was going to make incoherent dolphin sounds any minute now.

I’m going to squeal.

“Yeah… I was kind of feeling Cappuccino today,” Himchan responded, with a clearly teasing smile.

Yongguk was evidently still avoiding his gaze, as Himchan , and turned his head and face just so he could meet him eye to eye. Yongguk clearly couldn’t hold it any longer, and finally, while looking down to avoid his gaze – smiled, too.

“Yeah, I have that too,” he said, as he raised another hand with yet another cup of coffee, with the crudely written words, ‘I’m Sorry’

The cups read, ‘I’m sorry, Himchan’

Too sweet.

You’re too sweet.

Too sweet you gave me diabetes.

“Look, Yongguk, it’s okay, I get it,” he said, while holding his pouring feelings in. He wondered if talking was the smartest idea. Himchan wondered if he should just keep his mouth shut, or else risk his heart jumping out of his mouth as it beat as wildly as it could.

“I’m really sorry,”

His head down, but finally, at the last second before he spoke the words that took the power off of Himchan’s braincells, he looked at him.

“I just… I just had this feeling you were mine,”

- - -

Note: Not exactly wrong, Bang! 

Also, early updaaaaate!