Chapter 14: I Am (Not) Denying

“I just… I just had this feeling you were mine,”

His heart skipped a beat. And it felt like he was flying.

Yongguk sheepishly smiled as he lowered his gaze to the floor. The man evidently couldn’t look at him; it felt like the pavements suddenly demanded his attention and he had his eyes glued on the floor. But for split seconds in between, Himchan saw his gaze skipping to him, then back to the floor, and the moments pass by in slow motion with Yongguk doing the same thing over and over.

Sweet, too sweet.

The whole thing was like taken out of a movie, and it made him feel like he could die any minute now. He was happy, just too happy. Hearing these words from Yongguk’s mouth, and hearing him say those in his sweet baritone voice. It felt like Himchan was laying in marshmallows and he could melt any minute.

But he denies him of this happiness at the last second. As if he had been splashed with cold water. He felt like his knees could buckle but he holds his ground. This was Yongguk after all, and at the other end of this dreamy confession was him – it was him, Himchan, after all. He swore he has learned from his mistakes and he is no longer going to succumb to his stupity. He was happy, damn, he was so happy! But he knew better than to fly into another fruitless fantasy.

Himchan swore that he’s smarter now. He’s taking baby steps and he will be the rational man in this whole comedy. He was done assuming things, he’s a changed man, after all. No more assumptions! No more drawing to quick conclusions and hasty generalizations. It’s not as if Yongguk was the best when it comes to choosing his words, he has learned from that. He swore he was going to be better, knowing Yongguk more and he’s taking things at face value –never writing up a barrage of stories weaved through his assumptions, imagination and paranoia.

Never again.

So he smiles, takes the coffee and hugged the man as hard as he could and as hard as he cautiously get away with. Finally, he lets go patting him warmly. He formed the words in his head, calmly taking each word carefully just to form a coherent note. But he tasted the bitter words before they could even escape him. He inwardly hits himself just to get his act together, and takes a deep breath to quickly calm himself. And the words form naturally, as if he had thought of it all his life, just to hide what was actually on his mind.

“Just because I met Jieun, doesn’t mean I’d leave you, okay?”

I would never.

“I—”

I’m yours.

“I’m your best friend, remember?” he smiles warmly, mustering the best, warmest and sincerest face he could, if only to assure the man that his friendship was completely his and he was devoted to him.

“Y—yeah, yeah you are,” Yongguk smiles back at him.

Himchan felt like he just slimly escaped death.

- - -

It had been a pretty difficult morning to get up to. Himchan wondered if he was still dreaming and whether or not he should go back to sleep or risk losing the events that had transpired the night before. It was not exactly the most ideal, but at least he understood that he already had a place in the man’s life.

It was something.

Although the man did not have quite a good grasp with words, Himchan thought that was quite understandable. He was socially awkward at best, and talking was not exactly his forte. However, he wonder if he did whatever should have been done.

“HE DID WHAT?!” Jieun clearly was unable to contain her emotions, crushing an ice cream cone that she was yet to eat.

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GO—”

“Hot damn, woman! Contain yourself, people are staring!” Himchan clasped his hand against the woman’s mouth who was still bouncing up and down in happiness. He waved and bowed at the people who passed by, completely disregarding his own ice cream which had fallen into the ground. The people were still looking at them as they walked by the sidewalk and he kept bowing, apologizing that his 'sister' was… uh, too much.

“Then what? Then what? Then what?” Damn, it was like dealing with an energizer bunny.

But soon after hearing his story, Jieun just slumped on the spot. And Himchan was unfazed, it really felt like they were best friends, seeing how easily she understood how difficult things were for him... or not.

- - -

It was like a tennis match. Jieun just threw looks left and right, looking at the interactions the two men were making. Sitting across one another, when they were practically inseparable, Jieun wondered if she was getting in the way since Himchan seems to always stick to her whenever she was around. She tried leaving the table but the results were the same. They wanted to make it seem like everything was normal. To Himchan, maybe. Somebody should definitely throw rocks at that kid, because he was just so damn frustrating.

Jieun wondered if she was just misreading things between the two. However, whether or not she was lost in translation, she knows that Himchan sees Yongguk as more than a friend. Why ever he would resign to the fate of a best friend was beyond her. He kept on denying whatever he had for the brilliant rapper. When she asked him, all he did was tell her off, but there was something else – and his stories pointed to that direction. He was too giddy, and was too cute when he talked about Yongguk. There was something, really. Yongguk, on the other hand, was seriously difficult to read. If there was any hope to this dreamy pair that Jieun had set her eyes on, it definitely was nowhere near at the rate that they are going.

Jokes here and there, as if everything was alright. To the average eye, of course, it would. But Jieun will not be deceived, no sir, she definitely will not be deceived. There was a silent struggle, and clearly, she could see who was struggling the most.

Jieun looked at him intently as he watched the social butterfly chat with a pair of other friends in the room. He had a couple more minutes to prepare for his stage, Himchan on the other hand had gone to talk to some people he had met on the bar. Jieun bore holes into Yongguk’s skull, until finally, the man broke his gaze off of Himchan’s back and looks at the woman sitting across him. She throws him a knowing look, to which he responds to by suddenly seriously drinking his glass of iced tea.

Rolling her eyes, she throws a knowing look to the other side of the room, knowing that he would be staring back when the shy rapper was not looking.

I’m surrounded by idiots.

It was up to Jieun, the game maker, to change the tides.

- - -

Note: Frustraaaaatiiiiiiiiing. 

Sorry about this late chapter! I hope you enjoy this, though :D