So, my grandmother has dictation software for her computer...something Dragon something....anyway, I was able to speak my next chapters into a microphone.  I don't really recommend doing this for an entire story because it is going to require HEAVY editing (it doesn't seem to know which 'there' to use or which 'to' so I have to go back and edit a bunch of stuff but the good news is - IT'S FINISHED!  I have finished writing the story which sits currently at over 100 pages.  It seems so strange...

Anyway, here is the next chapter and the beginning of the end...

Chapter 36

Taemin was finally released from the hospital into the care of his parents as he was still a minor.  He did not return to the SHINee dorm, but rather to his parent’s home in order to have their care and help.  It didn’t matter though, because SHINee was over everyday, helping him through his recovery as much as they could and keeping him company.  After all, Taemin was used to being around them twenty-four hours a day, and besides as he was living with them for the last three years, they actually knew him better at this point than his own family. 

Jonghyun had gotten himself the most involved in his young friend’s recovery; it seemed that he was trying to make up for his previous behavior.  He listened to everything the nurses and physical therapists said and kept it all straight somehow in his head and really knew what to tell Taemin to do in order to help him get better.  Taemin really appreciated the fact that Jonghyun was trying so hard and he knew it was Jonghyun’s way of saying he was sorry.  He knew that Jonghyun felt guilty about the attack, about leaving Taemin alone that day and giving their manager the opening that allowed him to get Taemin alone.  What Taemin didn’t know, and really only Onew knew as of yet, was of the singer’s new status with his family.   Jonghyun didn’t want to burden anyone else with his problems, especially with Taemin as busted up as he was right now.    

The annoying thing was that Taemin found himself tired all the time.  He would sleep for ten hours at night and often found himself napping for hours at a time throughout the day.  Nurses came by the house every other day to check his progress and try to get him to work on his physical therapy or lay out new therapy routines for him to rebuild his stamina.  But it didn’t matter, because Taemin was still just tired. 

Taemin was used to dancing for hours on end in the practice room, but now he could only barely make it to the end of a short hallway by using the wall for support and he found himself utterly winded by the end of his journey.  It was utterly frustrating, knowing that not long ago he would have moved that far without so much as a thought, but now he had to make sure that there was someone else around and in the house in case he couldn’t quite make it and needed someone to help him out.  There had been more than one occasion where he had to be picked up off of the floor and carried bridal style back to his room because he just didn’t have the strength or breath in him anymore to take another step or even stand on his own two feet.    

About a month into his recovery that frustration finally released itself in spectacular form.  The good news was that he was finally off of the pain medication, though he still had it in case he really needed it and he still had those days, but he didn’t need it everyday now just to breathe.  He could make it around his house now without the help of someone else and he had consistently stayed awake for an entire day for the last week.  Sometimes he felt like a child with the milestones that they were marking, but it was a sad fact that these were big steps for Taemin now.    

SHINee had wanted to celebrate Taemin’s accomplishments so they had worked up a party for their maknae.  In their dance studio they had put up balloons everywhere of all sorts of colors, they had banana milk on ice just waiting for him to arrive and they had prepared or ordered all of his favorite foods, way more than any of them could eat.  And they had invited a lot of people from SM, hence the location at the practice rooms.  The news was out through SM about Taemin’s “eccentricity” as Lee Sooman had called it, and some people did decide not to show, but at least one from each group came, and most of Super Junior and f(x) were there, showing their support. 

The party had started off fine, and Taemin had enjoyed being able to see his friends again after being kept away from everything for so long.  But being around them, especially in this location, drove home all the harder that Taemin still wasn’t back up to par.  For the first hour or so everything was fine, but then what always happens at SM parties began – comparing dance moves and routines to the music that was playing in the background.  Normally Taemin would have been right there in the middle of it, picking up new moves and showing off his own, but just walking amongst all of these people for an hour had tired Taemin so much that he had finally had to cave in and ask Key to please find a chair for him, as quietly as possible though so that no one else heard them. 

God bless Key.  He had been just the right amount of sympathetic and hard to get Taemin through his therapy so far, along with the rest of SHINee who were always ready to help.  And on Taemin’s bad days, when he had to take one of the pain pills just to get by without screaming but he was left kind of out of it because of the medication, Key just sat with him and read from the newspaper or a book like Taemin asked, just so he could hear Key’s soothing voice, or watched TV with him.  On one of his early days home from the hospital, so wiped form his therapy, which had consisted of walking around the edge of the kitchen five times, clutching at walls and cabinets the whole time, they just laid in Taemin’s bed all day and watched Disney movies on Taemin’s TV, laughing at all the jokes that were meant for the parents who were dragged to see the movie by their children that they had missed as children. 

But now Taemin watched with increasing envy as others moved their bodies fluidly from one stance to another.  Taemin couldn’t even mime the moves from his seat without getting tired. 

It was so FRUSTRATING!

Taemin excused himself to the bathroom, falling into the stall and punching the door shut behind him.  It wasn’t fair!  What had he done to deserve this?! He kicked the door in front of him and his fingers into his hair, which he had cut recently.  He wedged his feet up against the door, actually liking the pulling he felt in his muscles at the awkward position, as though that tension could help drain out some of his from the rest of his body.  Tears fell though, which only made him even more annoyed.  He just wanted everything to go back to normal, was that so much to ask?

Footsteps softly padded into the bathroom and a gentle voice called, “Taemin? Tae are you in here?”

It was Key.  Taemin held his breath.  Key had been there through everything, everyday in the hospital his brother had said. 

“Honestly, I think he was there more often than any of us, even though the doctor had seemed annoyed at first at him being there since he wasn’t family.”  Taesun had said.

And Key was by the house everyday – helping him through therapy, hanging out with him, even helping his parents around the house when Taemin was sleeping. 

He felt guilty that Key’s entire life was essentially revolving around him and that was it.  Everyday Key was there, helping him, encouraging him, pushing him on.  Taemin was so grateful, but he was so out of his mind with tension and frustration that he constantly felt like he was on the verge of screaming at Key just because he was there. 

He couldn’t let himself fall into that.  He refused to let himself vent on Key because Key was already putting up with a lot in this relationship, Taemin didn’t want to think about how screaming at him would effect their relationship.  They hadn’t really even had a fight before, not a real one anyway.  And Taemin did not want a fight, he was the kind to avoid confrontation whenever it was about anything that really matter.  Sure he “fought” with Key about painting the color of their bedroom, but that was fake, there was no real anger or frustration or anything.  Key knew that he wasn’t going to get a pink room, but they had just wanted to rile each other up a bit just because they liked teasing each other. 

He couldn’t bring himself to let Key know that he was there, because he knew it was at his breaking point.  He was ready to bust and all of the frustration from the past few weeks was ready to just pour out on whoever happened to be there.  And Key didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.  He was too good and kind to be treated that way. 

Key sighed heavily and left the bathroom and Taemin gasped out the air that he had been holding in, burning his already fragile lungs.  And he let the tears fall.

O man...I keep making them all cry don't I...