-Chapter Twelve-

Sinner

No matter how hard you try to say every little thing that was hammering inside your chest words will never enough. You will not be able to say how much you love someone, you will never be able to say how deep you long for that someone or how you missed her even if she was just sitting right next to you. Even if you can feel her skin against yours.

She didn’t noticed how time flies, she lost track of it that she didn’t notice she was sitting in that classroom for about one and half hour. She pushed herself to stand tucking her hair behind her ears. She arranged her things. She then slid her shoulder bag as she walked out of the classroom. She glanced at her wrist watch and it was already 4:30 in the afternoon. She sighed. She could have been home for an hour now but then she just spaced out.

She was walking her way to the faculty room, when her phone vibrated. She fished it out finding it strange since there were only few people who knew her number. She stared at the caller’s id. She stiffened in her place seeing his name on the screen as her phone kept on vibrating against her hand. She bit her lips as she forced herself to press the answer button as she brought her phone on her ear.

‘Hello,’ she said almost in a whisper heart slamming on her chest. ‘Hello,’ he greeted back as they were consumed by silence that lasted for who knows how long. ‘Where are you?’ he finally asked breaking the torturing silence between them. She stood gripping her phone tight as she can hear longing in his voice and the sighs he was making in between as he was waiting for her to answer his questions.

She swallowed. ‘Home,’ she lied as her eyes drifted on the sky on the corridor’s window. She stared as it was slowly being painted orange. There was silence once more between them and she felt like she will crumble soon if it doesn’t stop that instant.

‘Liar,’ he breathed out as her eyes widened and soon she heard footsteps coming from behind her body tensed. ‘Why are you avoiding me?’ he asked finally not being able to take the silence and what was just happening that day that he was sure she was slowly making him insane and another silence from her will finally kick him out of his sanity.

 There they were talking in the middle of the empty corridor as the sun was slowly setting. Her back was facing him her phone still pressed on her ears just like him.

How can you feel so much for someone? How can in her every move, her sighs, her silence, her every little thing gives you so much feelings that you felt your heart was about to erupt or explode or just rip your chest and run away begging for break? How can someone just make you go nuts that soon you’ll find yourself not being able to get any of your thoughts straight?

How can she make him feel so much? How can she make him feel all those crazy things?

‘Is it because of yesterday?’ he asked. ‘Or this morning?’ he asked only his words to be eaten whole by her silence. He raked his hair. ‘Just tell me please, I’m going crazy here,’ he said in a low voice, no, he pleaded.

Dara swallowed hard as she turned to him. She then slowly let her arm fall on her side as she pressed the end button of her phone. The beeping sound made him raked his hair as he lazily placed his phone on his pocket. ‘Kwon,’ she called in a sharp tone as he stared at her.

‘You should know where to put yourself. I am your teacher,’ she said staring at him as he remained silent listening to her. ‘I am older than you and you have to respect me,’ she added. ‘You are just one of my students. Please. Bear that in your mind,’

‘There is a line separating us,’ she finished. Jiyong stood there as things that he never before felt in his life was slowly consuming his body as he numbed. He was silent for seconds as he was trying to understand everything she just said. He let out a sigh as he forced himself to nod. ‘Fine,’ he breathed out as he pulled a smile.

‘I’m sorry for crossing the line Ms. Park,’ he said as he bowed down in front of her as she stared at him in shock that she felt she stopped breathing for a moment. ‘Don’t worry, I will never ever let myself cross the line again,’ he said looking straight at her eyes. ‘If that’s what you wanted from now on I’ll put distanced between us,’ he continued forcing every word out of his throat.

He was trying to bridge the distance between them. Of course he was not an idiot; he knows perfectly that just the mere fact of her being his teacher was a big distance already that will be hard to cross.

And just when he thought he was slowly succeeding he was asked to stop, he was asked to stop by her.

He bowed down once more. ‘I have to go,’ he said as he turned around and walked away from her, every step was forced that it was like he was falling to pieces. He stopped walking as Dara kept her eyes on him. He sighed as he placed both of his hands inside his pockets and continued walking away.

He was already at the end of the corridor and was about to go down stairs when his phone started to ring that he was stopped on his tracks. He fished out his phone not bothering looking who was calling, he just felt exhausted that very moment. ‘No,’ she breathed out on the other line, it was weak. It was as if it took her everything to say those things. ‘I don’t want to put any distance between us,’ she continued as he turned around and looked at her.

She was standing there her things on the floor, her head hanging low as she was gripping her phone tightly pressing it to her ears. She was biting her lips hard that she can feel her blood mixed with her saliva as she swallowed hard.

What am I doing? She asked herself over and over as her fist clenched. What the hell am I doing? She shouted inside her as she felt she was slowly shaking. How can she just always let herself act weak in front of him? Everyone knew that she was already 28 years old yet she always ended up holding on a 19 year old.

A 19 year old who acts as if he was still in his elementary, who was declared as the a painting prodigy, someone who was innocent and childish.

But someone who was matured enough to understand her.

Someone who was her student.

And someone who mirrored him so much that it hurts like hell.

Jiyong then placed his phone on his pocket as he walked back to her, and walking seemed like forever, he then broke into run as he quickly locked her in his arms, embracing her tightly. Pulling her close, holding her like he would never let her go.

She knew it was wrong, that no matter how you looked at it, it will always be wrong. And probably she was making the biggest mistake in her damn wasted and good as dead life.

The mistake of slowly believing that maybe somewhere in this pain, in this story he could save her.

‘Let’s hang out tomorrow!’ Bom said as they were walking their way out of their room after they were dismissed in their class. ‘It’s Saturday anyways,’ Bom said smiling as everyone nodded in agreement. ‘Where should we go then?’ Minzy asked as everyone started chipping their own suggestions. ‘I vote for amusement park!’ Jiyong said raising his hand as they stared at him with disbelieving look in their face.

‘What amusement park’s not only for children!’ he whined defensively though they didn’t even say anything. Daesung ran his palm over his face. They were almost three months together and yet they can’t seem to get use of his weirdness and childishness. ‘Can’t you think of something better?’ he asked. ‘Ahmm...’ Jiyong said as he stopped thinking. ‘Toy store?’ he asked as they all stared at him in horror making him burst into laughter as he earned another smack in the head from them.

‘Wah! I don’t know why I have bullies for friends!’ he whined rubbing the back of his head. ‘Then grow up retard!’ Bom hissed at him. ‘I don’t want to end a grumpy old hag like you!’ Jiyong retorted as Bom lifted her arms fist clenched preparing to hit him when Hyunseung and Daesung stopped her as she was wildly protesting with Jiyong who just stuck his tongue on her. ‘Grumpy old hag,’

‘Wait oppa don’t you have any work today?’ Minzy asked as they all calmed down and looked at Jiyong. ‘Yeah, it’s actually shocking you’re still with us,’ Hyunseung said chuckling as Jiyong grimaced. He was trying to forget that Dara went to a seminar that day but then his good friends just reminded him.

He has been work