-Chapter Twenty-one-

Trying

We are what we are for many reasons. And maybe we will never know most of it. We never had the power to chose where we came from but we can always choose where to go. We can still do things and we can still try feeling okay about it.

‘I will be gone just for two hours,’ he whispered as she stared at him. She nodded. ‘I will be back soon,’ he said leaning down kissing her forehead. She then nodded. She held his hand as he looked at her. He smiled. ‘I will be back, I just need to show up there,’ he chuckled as he leaned his forehead on hers.

‘You will be back?’ she asked as if she didn’t heard what he said. He nodded. ‘Yeah,’ he answered as he fixed his scarf and wore his shoes. ‘You will never leave me right?’ she asked as he stood up. Jiyong walked to her pulling her into a tight embrace. ‘The world could die and everything could fall,’ he whispered. ‘I will never leave you Dara,’

He pulled away smiling as he turned his back to the door turning the knob on as she stood there staring at him as he walked out the door gently closing it behind. She heaved a sigh as she walked her way to her room.

Jiyong let out a sigh as he stared at the dark sky. He tightened his coat as he felt the cold wind piercing through his skin. He breathed out as a smoke formed. Winter already arrived. He smiled bitterly as he walked her way to their usual hang out where they were celebrating Chaerin’s birthday.

If they were not important he will ditched them but then he made enough excuse for ditching both Seungri and Youngbae’s birthday. He can’t afford to miss even Chaerin’s they will totally hate him for that. It has been days since Dara went back to her usual self or should he say she was trying to.

It was difficult for her at first but she worked her best as she started eating once more and going to school. Though there were still times in which her moods were up and down giving him a wild rollercoaster ride. She was somehow bearable now as she was trying to fix herself for herself and maybe for him as well. At least that’s what it looked like to him and that’s what he wanted to think.

They were spending more time together as she was demanding it. She wouldn’t sleep unless he was with her, she wouldn’t eat unless he was with her. And it was as if she was telling her that she needed him more than ever and somehow that made him feel happy. It felt like it was giving him more reason to love and stay with her, to be strong and fight with her.

He was still working hard for the paintings for the exhibit. He was thankful that even though he had been into so much emotional turmoil with her his works never get affected. It was helpful in fact as his every frustration and emotions were mixed in every painting he was doing. She never been his guide in doing those, she was more on an inspiration for all of it.

And maybe that would be the reason why he fell more into painting.  

He let out a sigh as his lips curved into a faint smile. For someone who never wanted to fall in love or feel anything he fell in love in a worst way. He fell in love deep and hard and it was as if he was standing in the middle of a quicksand. The more he moves the quicker he sunk.

People will call him crazy. They will call him stupid like what Bom has never failed to say to him every day.  Maybe he was crazy and maybe he was indeed stupid. But for him he was none of those. He was still Kwon Jiyong and the only difference was he fell in love with Park Sandara.

He was not crazy. He was not stupid. He was only in love.

‘When Jiyong arrived here he will just dominate the karaoke once more,’ Chaerin laughed as everyone agreed on her. ‘I will not really forgive that jerk if he missed your birthday,’ Seungri said shaking his head. ‘Same here,’ Youngbae agreed as they all laughed with some of their high school classmates and friends.

‘I missed him,’ Chaerin breathed out in honesty. ‘I never thought I will miss him and his craziness,’ she added as everyone agreed as they started recollecting all the crazy stuffs he did way back then like it was his birthday celebration.

Everyone stared at the wooden door as it slid open. ‘Oh speaking of the devil,’ Youngbae chuckled as they saw Jiyong entered the restaurant. They looked at him as they noticed his silence and how the air around him seemed to be different. They were honestly expecting him to be shouting and throwing just anything as he entered the restaurant but all he did was walked quietly to them with a smile on his lips.

He then took his usual seat after greeting them all politely. ‘Happy birthday Chae,’ he breathed out hugging Chaerin quickly as he handed her his gift. They glanced at each other before staring at him as he called the waiter stating his order. Jiyong finally noticed the silence hanging in the air. He chuckled. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as they all just stared at him.

‘You’re blonde,’ Seungri breathed out in the lack of something to say for his question that actually got no answers as they could not even pin point what was wrong themselves. ‘Oh,’ he said as he grabbed strands of his hair. ‘Well yeah,’ he smiled as the waiter placed his order on the table as he said a little prayer then silently started eating oblivious to all the stares thrown at him.

‘Jiyong what happened to you?’ Youngbae asked finally not being able to take the hanging silence and the atmosphere around them that was slowly getting awkward. And maybe he couldn’t also take the sudden change in him that like everyone else he was caught off guard and honestly doesn’t know what to do nor say or even what to think. Jiyong lifted his gaze on him as he gently wiped his mouth with the tissue. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked as his eyes glanced at each one of them.

Youngbae glanced at Seungri and Chaerin. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ Chaerin asked. ‘Are you sick?’ Seungri added as Jiyong just stared at them. He opened his mouth to answer only to hear his phone ringing. He then fished out his phone from his pocket after excusing himself. His friends glanced at each other in disbelief.

He used to really hate using phones.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he pressed his phone against his ear as everyone stared at him as if the world just stopped revolving with him answering his phone. ‘I don’t want to be alone,’ Dara answered on the other line. ‘Do you want me to go home?’ he asked worriedly. Dara shook her head as if he could see her. ‘No,’ she answered. ‘Then what?’ he asked softly.

‘I am outside the restaurant you said you were going to,’ Dara breathed out in honesty after seconds of silence and contemplating. ‘Really?’ he asked standing up as everyone’s eyes were still on him. ‘Can I come in?’ she asked with hesitation. ‘Of course,’ he smiled. ‘Wait there,’ he said as he pressed the end button of his phone sliding it in his pocket.

He then turned his head to Chaerin. ‘Chae,’ he called to him as the lady flinched. ‘Yes?’ she asked in shock. ‘Can I invite someone over if you don’t mind?’ he asked. Chaerin blinked at him for seconds as she forced herself to nod. ‘Of course,’ she answered glancing both at Youngbae and Seungri. ‘I can’t see why not,’

‘Thanks,’ Jiyong smiled as he excused himself and walked out of the restaurant leaving everyone in great silence as they stared at each other with questioning look.

After good amount of minutes being gone, Jiyong went back with someone together with him. He was holding her hand as they were walking inside as he was chuckling.  Everyone’s eyes were on her as they stared at her black hair falling freely on her shoulder, her white skin and her beautiful eyes. How her pink scarf