Spaces (and what they could mean)

   "Alright, maybe having a food fight inside Mr. Wufan's cafe wasn't the smartest thing we've ever done."

   "To be honest with you, we've never done anything 'smart'." Tao makes a tiny quotation gesture in the air. Heavy thuds and the deafening sound of wood against wood involuntarily causes Yoona to jump about an inch in the air. Tao remains stoic like a stone in the midst of a running river. He doesn't have to turn to know that it's Mr. Wufan--the aroma of his signature Pierre Cardin cologne is enough indication.

   Tao doesn't have to; but he turns anyway--out of respect--and regrets it within a nanosecond. There’s one thing you need to know about Zitao: he isn’t easily impressed, but when he is, he fanboys at the most ridiculous level ever imaginable. When Wu Fan smiles at him, Tao thinks that his feels must have started to drip down through the cracks of his overused heart. “You really don’t have to do that, you know.” Wu Fan shakes his head, but a smile lands on his face and stays there. “We already have enough helpers here. You guys should take a break. I’m sorry for Amber—she can get pretty stern at times.”

   “Oh no, it’s completely okay.” Yoona finds her manners and applies them. “We’re nearly done with the dishes anyway and I guess we deserved that after the childish show.”

    kisser, Tao thinks and hopes Wufan doesn't find her charming-the way everyone else does upon five minutes of interacting with her. 

   To their surprise, Wufan rolls up his sleeves and comes closer to them. "Come on, let me help you."

   Huang Zitao thanks god, the heavens, and all the marvelous things on earth for being able to witness the miracle that is Wufan's biceps. Zitao thought the dessert already did its job in filling him up, but he finds himself hungry enough that he could the skin off Wufan's arm right now. How could someone that heavenly exist? Is it even legal? 

   "It's okay, we can manage." Zitao says, but it comes out as a purr. From his peripheral vision, he could see Yoona choking back her vomit. 

   "I insist, okay?" Sauntering forward, Wufan leans over the sink to wash his hands and takes his place right beside Zitao. 

   Someone kill me now. Mama, kill me. 

   Together, the three of them easened up the pile of dishes on the countertop. Yoona was incharge of the initial washing, Wufan later took them to soap, and Tao was the one who performed the final wash before setting them up to dry. The thing about liking someone and being this close to them, Zitao internalized, was that even the most mundane task could feel magical. The soap bubbles might as well be fairy foam as they slide down Wufan's fingers and into his own. 

   In this enormous kitchen, Zitao could wash dishes forever as long as Wufan behaves and sticks to his side. 

   Space is nothing but the measure of the distance between Tao and Wufan's skin. 

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   Luhan thought he was smart. 

   He really believed that he was intelligent, if not, then diligent. All throughout school, there were smiles and pats, congratulatory remarks and special awards validating his genius. It's these things that strengthened his belief and it took him years to get where he is today, but he isn't smart enough, apparently. His smart was limited to the pages between the books he could memorize like the back of his hand and the random facts he garnered throughout college and his teaching career. It was useless. He was useless. 

   If he was smart, if he was really smart, then he should have seen this coming. He should have known all along. 

   He shakes his head, my science teacher would have been very disappointed since I didn't observe the situation and variables properly. 

   There were spots, bruises, and holes in her eyes that showed itself on the rarest of occasions. He saw this, he just didn't think much of it at that time. 

   "I'm sorry for being dumb," he whispers and taps the photo on his smartphone. It was of Yoona, and it had been taken in secret during detention. She was busy staring beyond the window, oblivious to Luhan's camera. 

   The sudden knock out his door bolts him out of reverie. "Open up! The most beautiful woman in the universe coming through!"

   A smile forces its way out of his lips and he opens the door at once. 

   It's Yoona in a denim jumper with a dirty white shirt underneath. In seeing her hair tied in a bun, a sly grin on her face, Luhan has to agree. She is the most beautiful woman in the universe. "Do you have food? You see, Tao and I went to have some dessert and it ended badly. I had to wash dishes along with him and his crush and my energy was drained. Do you know how icky it is to see your best friend drooling over a hunk of a man? I wanted to barf." 

   You're still the same. 

   "Hey, Lulu. You have food? Let me in, let me in and I'll raid your fridge." 

   Luhan shakes his head, not minding the nickname anymore. "No, there's nothing there but tomatoes and onion. Let's just go to the convenience store for some ramen."

   With that, her eyes light up. "Your treat?"

   He chuckles. "My treat." 

   "You are my hero." She grins and turns to leave when Luhan holds her wrist from behind and slowly wraps both arms around her neck. 

   The crickets outside his house sing fades into the background of Yoona's heart beating out of her ribcage. Heat creeps up to her ears and her cheek, silencing her temporarily. She gulps upon listening to Luhan whimpering. 

   "You can stop being so strong now, I'm here. I'm here," Almost singing, almost crying, almost breaking from the weight Yoona might be carrying within her heart, Luhan holds her even tighter. "Does it hurt? You don't have anything to be afraid of anymore. You can come home here. It's not much, some of the floorboards are creaking and my books are everywhere but if you decide to stay, even for a while, I promise to restock the fridge with all of your favorite food. So please, let yourself be weak, even if it's just for now."

   She turns to look at him, and while she was still in his arms, she leans her head against his chest and breaks down crying. 

------

   They're going back to Luhan's apartment now and under the protection of the cold autumn evening, she steals a glance at Luhan. 

Space is they way to measure

the gaps between your teeth,

or the loudness 

of your laughter,

the distance off those posts

to the length of our strides. 

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[a/n: yaaay! I updated this. let's just hope that I could finish this soon! :) It's been a ridiculous four years since i've last updated and whew. it feels like i'm coming back to my true love; writing. i hope you enjoy reading this chapter and look forward to more. i love you!]