Warning: Abuse and psychotic scenes ahead.

 

 

 

 

"You should calm your ." Tao instructs Yoona while his fingers rapidly tap the buttons on the ps3 controller.

 

Behind him, Yoona makes a face and throws a popcorn to the back of his dark head. "My are calm, thank you very much."

 

"I'm talking figuratively." 

 

"Figuratively? Woah, slow down there boy. Where did you learn that big word?" She laughs to herself and sinks deeper into the couch. Right after class, they both decided to take a breather and rest at their 'Mini-mansion'. Yoona thinks that mansion would be far from it since its actually just an old, abandoned warehouse that she and Tao had found two years ago which they've cleaned and customized to their liking. More than her own house, Yoona feels much more safe and 'at home' here. 

 

"Mr.Wu Fan keeps on saying that word so I thought I should say it, too." His eyes don't leave the flat screen and he earnest a short of disbelief from Yoona. He knows what she's thinking. He has been addicted to their biology teacher for three years now. But then again, Tao thinks that 'addicted' would be putting it mildly; he was in love with Mr. Wu Fan (whom Yoona would describe as an 'overgrown Chinese-Canadian halfbreed')

 

"What if he would keep on saying "gay ", would you say it, too?"

 

"Yes, and when he says ' me', I won't say the same thing but I'll reply with 'gladly'."

 

Yoona chokes on a popcorn and she gives Tao the finger right after she recovers and stands up from the couch. She straightens her already pristine ripped jeans and slides her feet inside the warmth of her favorite combat boots. Tao looks at her prepping herself up and his eyes registers a fresh bruise along her collarbone. His brotherly side takes over and he stands up to approach Yoona about this. "Is he still hurting you?"

 

She doesn't reply and looks at her reflection in the mirror instead. It's angers Tao more and he grabs Yoona's wrist and holds it up; thanking the heavens that there aren't any new cuts in them. Yoona vainly tries to pry Tao's hold but she fails miserably because let's face it, he's twenty times stronger than she is. The doe eyed girl slumps and her reflection does the same. At this, Tao lets go and a feeling of pity surges through him because of his best friend's helpless state. Yoona never cries, even when she's surrounded by a million of reasons why she should. She never cries so Tao does that for her in the dead of the night when the whole city would be asleep. He would shed tears for his hopeless romance and Yoona's sickening preposition, thinking that if there really was anything he could do for her; he'd do it.

 

"I'm okay. I'm doing great." She tells him but even to her own ears; it sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

 

"No, you're not. Yoong, why don't we try asking for help?you know that others can help you with your problem and maybe they can get rid of you fa--" 

 

Yoona cuts him off. "No, don't. I can handle it and I'm sure that there's going to be a way to fix him. I love my father, Tao and I'm not giving up on him; no matter how much I want to. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be going now."

 

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She breathes in a sigh of absolute relief the moment she arrives home to find the house completely dark and empty. Silence greets her like like an old friend and Yoona can't be any happier. It's nine in the evening and god knows where her father is right now. Not that she needed to hear any more of sins loud and boisterous sermons.

 

At once, she decides to call it a day and snuggles under the warmth and safety of her blanket in her room. Her socks are still on and she doesn't bother taking it off, just for safety precautions. A light shade of lavender colors her wall and cork boards and posters  decorate it. Looking around her room, no one would be able to guess the amount of times she had considered ending her life here before being overshadowed by her egoistic side. Secretly, Yoona thinks that she's God's gift to mankind. 

 

She tries to think of beautiful things before sleeping.  Luhan's eyes and his random acts of kindness and innocence makes the half conscious Yoona smile. He had changed her, although he must have no clue that he did. Luhan is always oblivious. Her last thought was 'thank you, Xi Luhan.' Before drifting off to a peaceful slumber.

 

                                                            --------------

 

 

The sound of glass shattering made Yoona open her eyes and jump out of her bed. Darkness surrounds her and footsteps fill the air. Yoona dreads every second that ticks by and the way that the footfalls seem to be getting closer. Her hands feels cold and it isn't until she looks down when she realizes that she's trembling badly.

 

The door of her room bursts open and Yoona is scared out of her wits.

 

Her father reeks of alcohol and sweat and it assails her senses, making her unable to move. As he gets closer to her, she could see his glassy stare and his inability to walk upright. He's drunk once more and Yoona knows more than anyone else that her father isn't the best person to be with when he's drunk. She gulps, thinking that there's nothing she can really do because he is family and that she should be used to his poor treatment of her by now.

 

"It's you. You really look after your mother. It's sickening!" He yells, his voice echoing through the walls of her room before he lifts his hand to land a punch on Yoona's stomach. Even though she mentally prepared herself for the incoming punch, it doesn't lessen the flash of intense pain in her abdomen. It feels like her stomach was being cut in two and dipped in acid but before she could have any chance to regain her composure; her father grabs her by the shoulders only to throw her harshly to the side of her bed.

 

Her hips hit the corner of her study table and she resists the pain and the need to cry. Completely oblivious, her father once again says, "You worthless piece of trash. Your mother should have just killed you when you were in her stomach. Because of you, her family disowned her and she died giving birth to you. It should have been you! I'd kill you if it means having to see her alive once more."

 

 

And Yoona realizes that she can take a million punches and hits, just not those words. They cut into her deeper than the physical damage. "Bastard, you impregnated her in the first place!"

 

She surprised herself for replying back to him like that, normally, she'd just keep quite and endure the abuse but this has gone tho a whole new level. He just crossed a line. His right hand grabs a handful of her hair and she shrieks as he pulls her head hard and tries to slam it against the wall.

 

With all her remaining strength, she shoves him to the side and bolts out of the room as fast she can. In just her socks, her adrenaline rush takes over and she runs away from the house as far as possible. When she's safely outside, Yoona continues running to the direction of her and Tao's 'mini-mansion' although she knows that the same thing will happen tomorrow. No matter what her father does, she'll still forgive him because he's family.

 

And no matter how deranged he can get, he's the only family she's got.

 

 

                                                                 ------------

 

 

Yoona's eyes seem lifeless as she looks at her reflection in the mirror of the old warehouse. Right now, Tao is at home and he's probably sleeping soundly in a refuge filled with people who actually love and care for him. He's lucky, Yoona thinks bitterly, running a hand through her hair.

 

Her scalp is sting and her hips, should and stomach aches like hell. The reflection that she sees looks absolutely broken. The woman in front of the mirror has a messed up hair and a line of bruises along the length of her collarbone and stomach. Having been in a rush, she didn't bring a jacket with her and she contents herself in a pair of pajamas and a loose tank top. It doesn't matter, she's going to go back there anyway. That's the only place she has.

 

 

Normally, Yoona can take this but it seems really horrible today that she knows she should turn to her temporary relief. She walks away from the mirror and walks to a large cabinet in the corner. Is actually where Yoona and Tao store extra clothes and basic necessities just in case. But unknown to Tao, this is also where Yoona stores her stash of psychedelic.

 

She takes a handful of pills and grabs a bottle of water from the side. This is something that she told herself that she won't do anymore since Luhan but she guesses that desperate times call for desperate measures. She shoves the pills in and immediately gulps water. 

 

Yoona sits down and waits for it with her body aching in several places. It must have been half an hour or an hour later, she has no idea but the effects start to take its toll and everything around her seems so much more intense and sharper. Her mind begins to feel like a totally different and weird organ that she can't control. Yoona looks around and smiles at the way the things around her intensifies. Colors become brighter, edges become sharper and everything seemed to be something new to her, her eyes worships everything  as if she's s blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

 

Pretty soon, she starts to lose the feeling of her body; the aches and stings forgotten as a wave of magnified happiness engulfs her senses. Yoona laughs and the sound seems so perfect and right that she laughs some more just to hear perfection. 

 

Her mind is in the present but she finds herself drifting off to the memories of her wonderful past. Before all this, she recalls her father smiling at her while throwing her five year old body up in the air then catching her in s arms once more. Unbridled happiness, that's what she use to feel before her father sunk into alcohol addiction; making him a completely different person in her eyes.

 

A wave of numbness filters her mind and she drifts off into another barricade and snippets of beautiful memories and dreams of candy land and happiness. 

 

 

She's intoxicated once more.

 

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(A/n; trust me on this, I absolutely have no idea why that just came out and omg. I hope you'll like it and don't worry, the rest of the story won't be like this. I just want to get deeper into Yoona's life an all. Tanks for this who commented and subscribed! I really appreciate that.)