Key sighed. Jonghyun and Minho had been shocked after Taemin had yelled at him. They had asked Key what was his problem, and Key had told them to be understanding toward Taemin’s situation but he got the general idea that they didn’t want to see him again.

He didn’t go over to Taemin’s last night because he didn’t know whether Taemin wanted him there or not.

Today was supposed to be a good day. He had classes that started at noon which meant he could sleep in. But with the boy he liked and his friends all unhappy, he couldn’t help but feel weighed down.

He walked out of his back door, locking it before glancing at Taemin’s balcony out of habit.

His eyes grew wide at what he saw.

Taemin was sitting with his legs dangling between the slants of the balcony, leisurely…smoking? Key watched in horror as he saw Taemin bring a cigarette to his lips, inhale deeply before blowing out the smoke at the sky. He looked peaceful, white smoke wisping out of him. Key thought he looked like a little kid pretending to be an adult. And he was going to tell him so.

Taemin swung his legs back and forth, enjoying the sunshine quietly while he smoked. He had nothing better to do.

“Yah!”

He glanced down to see Key storming over at him, looking disturbed. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Taemin watched Key climb the fence to him with ease, impressed that for someone so slim he moved so athletically.

“Are you smoking?” asked Key, lifting himself over the balcony and standing in front of Taemin.

“No,” said Taemin, blowing out the smoke deliberately before bringing the cigarette to his lips to take a deep breath.

“You know those things will give you cancer,” he reasoned.

Taemin shrugged, continuing to on his cigarette.

“Every cigarette takes off 5 minutes off your life.”

“I seriously couldn’t care, hyung.”

Key sat down and looked Taemin straight in the eye. 

“You know you look like a pre schooler trying to be cool and smoking, right?” he asked. “You aren’t fooling me. Who are you trying to impress?”

Key was happy to see Taemin take out the cigarette between his lips and grind it out on concrete and stuffing it in a coke can next to him.

 Only to have his heart sink when Taemin pulled out another one from the packet in his pocket.

“Who even got you those? Aren’t you underage?” he said, slightly angry.

“Some people I know,” said Taemin hunching over as he lit the cigarette in his mouth with a lighter to try block the wind.

“Aren’t you meant to be at school anyway? Why are you home? Are you sick? Does Taeyeon know you smoke?”

“No to all those questions. I got suspended.”

“Why?” asked Key, shocked. “What did you do?”

“I threw a rock at a window and broke it. Also I have been wagging too much.”

“What? People could have been hurt! The glass could have cut someone! The rock could have hit someone! Did it?”

Taemin shook his head.

Key looked at the angel faced boy before him, shocked at all the things that had been revealed about him. Taemin was a smoker and juvenile delinquent?

He was so disappointed. He honestly thought Taemin was better than that. Although he didn’t talk much, on their nights together Key had gathered that he was a quiet, sensitive boy who liked to be fussed over. Through their conversations, which had mostly been Key firing questions at Taemin, he had learnt that the boy liked dogs, favourite food was steak,  favourite subject was P.E. and really liked art, manga and anime although he couldn’t draw himself. He had learnt that Taemin liked snuggling, liked having his back rubbed and hair petted, liked sleeping on his stomach and sighed a lot in his sleep. He didn’t like fish or onions and talking about his dead family was a huge no-no. He had seemed like such a good, cute, albeit sad boy. He had honestly thought Taemin was pure and innocent.

He felt like he had been lied to as he took in Taemin resting against the balcony fence, unrepentant about smoking and destroying. He felt so let down as he watched Taemin pick at his skinny jeans with a smoking cigarette in his fingers, stretching out his legs with a groan. He had the mannerisms and face like a child, but his brain was obviously one that wasn’t near a child’s at all.

The Taemin in his head who was soft and sweet and ideal did not match up to the reality before him.

Taemin saw him watching and mistook it for curiosity for his cigarette.

“Wanna try?” he asked.

Key shook his head adamantly.

“Have you ever smoked one before?”

Key shook his head again.

“You should hyung. Before you get old. You need to do these things at least once in your life.”

“I’m not trying your death wish,” snapped Key.

“Just one puff won’t kill you,” said Taemin, holding out the cigarette. “Just one.”

Key eyed the offering. He couldn’t help but think that Taemin had his lips around the cigarette, and if he smoked it, they would have indirectly kissed.

“Maybe just once…” trailed off Key uncertainly. He had been a bit curious. And one puff wouldn’t do any harm…

He was startled when Taemin moved the cigarette up to his lips, looking like he was intensely interested.

“Just breathe it in,” said Taemin.

Key leant forward and put his lips around the paper, taking a tiny breath as Taemin stared at him with big eyes.

The smoke didn’t even down his throat before he was coughing it back up. His eyes stung with tears as he kept coughing and tried to clear his airways of this evil smoke.

Key would never do this again in his life. He already felt immediately guilty. He didn’t want to smoke, and this reaffirmed it.

He was startled to hear a chuckling sound and looked up amidst his coughs to see Taemin giggling and smiling.

He was beautiful. That smile seemed to light up his entire face and make him look so pretty, and the sunlight shone on his brown hair and flawless skin. Key’s heart was actually beating fast at the chance of being near this beautiful creature.

He watched spellbound as Taemin took a drag before crushing it out, his actions and his continued giggling making him look like that sweet boy he had imagined.

“That was funny hyung,” smiled Taemin, still laughing.

He swung his legs up onto the balcony and winced.

“What’s wrong?” hacked out Key. “Why did you flinch?”

“My knees were bleeding after I fell and it hurts when I bend them now,” said Taemin matter of factly.

“Did you hurt yourself yesterday? You seemed quite… upset,” said Key, choosing his words carefully.

“I don’t like bugs,” said Taemin. “And I can’t run that much because it makes my ribs hurt.”

“Sorry,” said Key, apologising on the behalf of his friends. “They were just fooling around. They didn’t know.”

Taemin looked away, chewing on his lip.

Key reached out to his cheek, and Taemin looked at him, puzzled.

“I like you a lot,” he said. “Even if you confuse me.”

Taemin looked at Key and realised that Key was actually more goodlooking than he thought. Even though he had been in close proximity to him for so many nights now, but it had been dark. Key’s hair was a dark brown, and he had strong feline eyes and a refined way of using his features and acting in a way that felt feminine at times, but sometimes felt really manly. Like now, even though Key had his cheek in his palm, he had soft hands like a girl but Taemin sort of felt like Key was dominating in a very masculine way.

“I like you too hyung,” he said shyly. He did like Key. He only liked Key and Taeyeon though. The rest he couldn’t give a about.

Key sighed and removed his hand, looking at the tree in Taemin’s backyard.

“Taemin, did you have girlfriends back in Korea?” he asked, pensive.

“Neh,” chirped Taemin. “I had so many, I can’t even remember all of their names.”

Key sighed again. He hoped Taemin wasn’t straight. This was not doing favours to his heart.

“Do you know what… ‘gay’ means?” asked Key, choosing to use the English word.

“Ani,” said Taemin.

Key looked at his cellphone. Great. He had missed his first lecture.

“I have to go Taemin,” said Key, getting up. “Ask Taeyeon what gay means. I’m gay Taemin, and I hope that you… understand.”

Taemin frowned, obviously confused but nodded anyway.

“I never liked any of my girlfriends very much though,” he said. Maybe Key was still talking about the girlfriends.

“So there’s still hope,” smiled Key sadly, ruffling Taemin’s hair before jumping off the balcony.

Taemin gave a little wave of goodbye in response to Key’s big one.

“Bye sweetheart,” called Key in English, glad for once Taemin couldn't understand it.

“Bye bye,” said Taemin.

Key wondered if this was the last time he would be able to talk to Taemin after Taemin found out what the word meant.

“Noona,” said Taemin as he sat next to Taeyeon on her couch. Taeyeon had just come home from work and still had on her makeup and smart blazer and skirt, but she was resting her feet after a long day in heels.

“Hi Taemin. Did you do your schoolwork? Can you show me your English work after dinner so I can see it?” asked Taeyeon. Taemin nodded impatiently. He had actually done his English work, that was how bored he had been.

“Taeyeon, what does ‘gay’ mean?” asked Taemin.

Taeyeon snapped her head to look at her nephew, laughing. “Where did you hear that word from?”

“Key hyung told me he was ‘gay’,” said Taemin. “What does it mean? He seemed sad.”

“Aahh,” said Taeyeon, nodding. “I always suspected. Guess I was right. I wonder if his parents know.”

“What is it?” whined Taemin.

“Taemin. Gay is the English word for when you like the same . What Key is trying to tell you is that he likes boys. Key is homoual.”

Taemin felt his jaw drop. Key. Liked. Boys? Key was homoual? He had learnt about this in health class, but he had never…seen it in real life. It wasn’t that he didn’t think that they didn’t exist, but he never really thought about them existing either.

“I know. I bet you never came across too many of them in high school back in Seoul, huh?”

Taemin put his hands on his face. Oh my god. Key was gay. Key liked boys. Key had slept on his bed next to him for weeks. He had his cheek in the morning. Something else occurred to him.

“He said I was cute when he first saw me! What does this mean? Does he like me?” gasped Taemin. “Oh my god!”

Taeyeon laughed as she pulled Taemin gently in to herself.

“As much as you are cute, don’t flatter yourself,” she said. “Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he likes every boy he sees, like how you don’t like every girl that you see.”

Taemin nodded in agreement, letting Taeyeon give him a little hug. Just because Key was gay, didn’t mean he liked Taemin. Key was still the Key that had been good to him.

“Are you hungry?” said Taeyeon. “I’ll order dinner.”

Taemin lay on his bed with his laptop, his belly full of pizza. American pizza was very salty and only had meat and cheese on it, but it was still yummy. It was also very big too, and Taeyeon had also ordered chips and garlic bread. Taemin had a bit of a pig out.

All throughout dinner Taemin had been thinking of the scene in Skins when they went to Russia where Tony tried to hit on Maxxie, the gay dancer. When he had watched it the first time, he couldn’t help shivering and couldn’t watch the tv screen. He remembered searching it again on youtube and watching it so many times until he found himself analysing the scene. Did Tony like Maxxie? Maybe they were secretly in love, and then they would get together?

He remembered he didn’t find it disgusting, but rather… interesting. Because both Maxxie and Tony had good bodies, it was sort of mesmorising after a while.

He found the video on youtube once again, and he clicked on it, watching as Tony leaned in and forcefully kissed Maxxie, taking off their shirts and Tony kissing down Maxxie’s neck and chest.

Taemin could not watch this with the context of Key. He stopped the video, and lay in thought. Taemin hadn’t been disgusted at the thought of key liking him. Shocked, but not disgusted. But he liked girls. He always had.

He didn’t know what he felt. Taemin didn’t want to think anymore. Because over thinking would just stress him out.

Taemin was feeling this giddy feeling that he always felt when he found out someone liked him, even if he didn’t really like them back. If they were hot, then he was excited. He had never felt excited for a guy though.  When he found out that someone liked him, he loved teasing them and flirting with them until they confessed, and then he would get together with them for a while if the girl was pretty or refuse if she wasn’t to his taste. He had to admit, he got a massive power rush every time and he really wanted to experience one right now.

 He grabbed his phone, texting Key to come over.

Key was elated that Taemin had asked him to come over, although his shock of finding out his dreamy boy wasn’t actually so dreamy after all had put a downer on the rest of his day.

“Did you find out what gay meant?” he asked Taemin, wanting to know how he felt.

“Yup,” said Taemin as he lay on his back tucked in his bed, tossing a pillow up and down and hitting the ceiling softly.

Key propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Taemin. “And? You don’t mind?”

Taemin turned to him, lying on his stomach and looking thoughtful. “You are still the same hyung as yesterday. Nothing has changed except I know something new about you, but you haven’t changed. I didn’t mind back then, I shouldn’t mind now.”

“That’s good,” said Key, lying back down. “I am so happy.”

Taemin turned to him and Key couldn’t help notice that Taemin looked sort of excited.

“I’m happy you’re happy,” he said and Key was shocked when Taemin reached out and tangled their fingers together. He looked at their hands and looked back up at Taemin, who was yawning. Taemin’s hand was small and warm, and his arm was brushing against Key’s and the body heat felt nice.

“Turn off my light hyung,” said Taemin, and Key reached out and turned off the lamp. Maybe what he had said was true- maybe there was hope after all.

A/N

I think dickhead Taemin is resurfacing. 

Ho hum, i just want this story to fly out from my brain to aff, this writing business is hard :P Oh! And that scene in Skins does exist, just youtube tony and maxxie gay scene or something. Both of them are incredibly hot, and I couldn't even watch it the first time when they were getting it on! I think it was way more ier and explicit than Brokeback Mountain. Haha I have a paper to do with uality, and legitimately watched all of these gay film excerpts in class with the lesbian tutor who skipped all the gay male scenes to the lesbian scenes. Ahem.

But remember- Taekey is <3, not lust- and I will try to make it that way! ;)