Key loved Taemin so much. He couldn’t describe the feeling of how fast and fluttery his heart had beaten when Taemin started sleeping nestled into him, his warm smooth skin pressed up against Key’s fuelling the fire in him, his breaths nearly too hot against his neck, that scent that was soothed his mind when he was frazzled. He couldn’t describe the feeling of how his stomach jumped in excitement and he felt really hot and sweaty when he had first laid eyes on Taemin, seeing the most beautiful boy he had ever seen in his entire life. The lightheaded happiness that had spread throughout his body when they had kissed for the first time.

He didn’t know how to describe the feeling he had taken for granted until now, that feeling of always wanting to be connected to Taemin, to always see him happy and healthy and to be there to see his smiles, to know everything about him and to make him feel better when Taemin was feeling sad, because he never wanted Taemin to cry. The closest word was ‘love’, and he loved Taemin so, so, so much.  And all he wanted was to go back to those times instead of all this confusion and complications.

Seeing him unconscious in his seat had made Key start crying. It had hurt. His Taemin he loved so much, the one person he would do anything for, was hurt. He couldn’t stop crying when someone pulled up next to him and asked him if he was okay, and then had pulled out their mobile quickly when they saw the slumped figure in the passenger seat. He had kept crying when the police came and asked him what had happened, when the ambulance came and had carefully pulled Taemin out of the car and onto a stretcher. Key was breathalysed and allowed to ride with Taemin in the ambulance, crying as he saw Taemin’s pale face and the beeping of the various machines that were already connected to Taemin.

At the hospital the police made him take a blood test to make sure he wasn’t under the influence of drugs, and Key explained the whole story to them, about how Taemin had been in an accident in Korea and had freaked out in his car, maybe that had been related. The police had left, sympathising that it must have been an accident. He gave the hospital staff Taeyeon’s number and his own parents too. He couldn’t call them himself. He didn’t want to know what they would say. They were probably disappointed. They were probably angry. All the reasons of why he had run away in the first place came flooding back into his mind.

Key sat on a chair next to Taemin’s sleeping form. He still hadn’t woken up yet. And the doctors wouldn’t tell him what was wrong with him because he wasn’t Taemin’s relative. He held Taemin’s small, soft and white hand, praying he was okay, rubbing his thumb over Taemin’s skin repeatedly.

Taeyeon and Onew ran into the room. Taeyeon and Key’s eyes had met for a second and Key was instantly sorry for ever agreeing to take Taemin with him. He shouldn’t have. He was still a child. Taeyeon looked like she was going to cry. Key couldn’t believe the amount of hurt and trouble he had caused.  He left, his heart aching, waiting on the chairs outside of Taemin’s room.

He looked inside through the glass to see Taeyeon slumped over Taemin’s body, gently Taemin’s hair and kissing his forehead. Onew was studying Taemin’s face like he had never seen it before, both of them crying. Key felt so, so, so bad.

“He’s okay. The doctors said he probably fainted out of shock, and he has mild symptoms of pneumonia that they’re treating with antibiotics right now. He’s asleep.”

Key looked up from his fingers to see Taeyeon standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry Taeyeon, I’m so sorry,” croaked Key. “I was the only one who should have gone. I can’t believe I took Taemin with me. I’m so, so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay Key,” said Taeyeon softly. She sat down next to him and pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper. “Taemin left a note. I read it so many times.  He told me everything in it, really. It’s my fault for not listening and assuming. I’m only 24, I’ve never had to look after a difficult teenager before, so sometimes I overcompensate.  I was so worried.”

“I’m sorry Taeyeon, I’ll never do this again, I swear,” said Key, wiping his eyes.

“I was so worried for both of you,” said Taeyeon, hugging Key. “You’re still a child too. I’m so sorry for thinking you treated Taeminnie badly.”

“But I did, look where he ended up!”

“It was an accident. Plus I heard from the nurses what Taemin did to cause the accident. It’s more his fault then yours. You were taking him back home, that was the adult thing to do. But he has more issues. He could have killed both of you with what he did. But I’m so happy you’re both here and I can see him again. I think I’ve aged 20 years just worrying about him these last few days.”

“How can you not be mad at me? My parents are going to be furious. I probably will end up homeless,” sniffled Key.

“They worried about you lots Key,” soothed Taeyeon. “You’ll see.”

And Key did. His parents ran into the hallway, looking just like Taeyeon and Onew did, except they were looking at him.

“You stupid boy, I was so worried about you, how could you leave like that, did you know how I scared I was, I love you so much, you nearly killed me with worry!” scolded his mother as she hugged Key tightly.

“I’m sorry Mom,” said Key, crying again, wondering when did his mother get so short.

“We were so worried, Kibum! Why didn’t you call us or anything, how could you do this to us?” said his mother, and Key kept crying because his mother sounded like she was crying too.

“Kibum, I know I treated you harshly, but please don’t do anything like this again,” said his father. “I was so scared and worried you might be dead. I know I don’t say it much, but I love you. Don’t think that I want you to run away. I’m sorry.”

“I'm sorry appa,” said Key, sniffling as he tried to not cry in front of his father.

“It’s okay Kibum,” said his father. “You’re my son, and you’ll always be my child, not matter what. Please live with us. Come home.”

“I love you so much, I’m sorry baby,” he whispered to Taemin before kissing him goodbye. Taeyeon smiled at him tiredly before he left.

He watched out of his window two days later in anticipation. Taemin was supposed to come home today. He was so nervous for some reason.

He saw what had to be Onew’s car pull into Taemin’s drive way, and he saw Taeyeon and Onew get out of the front seats and open the back door. His heart started thudding as he saw Onew lean in and take someone out in his arms. It was Taemin.

His eyes widened when he saw that Taemin looked asleep, in his pyjamas and a blanket. His eyes followed them as they walked to the front door and went inside.

He waited for an hour before he decided to risk it and climb into Taemin’s room.

Once inside, he crept to Taemin’s bed, and lay down with him on top of the covers, just quietly looking at him. He couldn’t live without this boy. He would do anything for this boy. For the last two nights he had been tossing and turning, haunted by the car crash, seeing his boyfriend’s pale face.  His own eyes drifted closed as he was in this familiar bed, next to the one he loved the most.

“Hyung..”

Key opened his eyes in shock as he heard Taemin’s whisper.

“You’re awake!” cried Key, tears building up in his eyes. “I was so worried about you!”

“Don’t you dare cry now, you sissy,” said Taemin with a sleepy grin. “I don’t die that easily. You’re so embarrassing. This is why we can’t go anywhere.”

“You’re a brat,” laughed Key, wrapping his arms around Taemin.

“Hyung, I’m sorry for ruining everything,” said Taemin.

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Key. “It was mine. I should have never run away in the first place, and I should have never taken you. But that’s over now. We’re going to live here again and give it a second chance, arrasso?”

They closed their eyes and kissed, just letting the feeling of being together satisfy them.

“I never realised how lucky I was to have you hyung,” whispered Taemin, his eyes closed. “I couldn’t be happier to be here with you. I think I do like living in America now. But I want to be a better person now.”

“What do you mean?” asked Key, between kissing Taemin’s knuckles.

“I promise I’m going to stop causing troubles to the ones I love. I’ll be good.”