Key gasped loudly and froze.

All Taemin could see was brown and bits of white dough and pork dripping down Key’s white shirt, that bile-y smell in the air and his own mouth tasting like it, and his own shirt a bit wet too and the smell was everywhere.

He had never been so humiliated before in his life.

His eyes started swimming with tears before he could stop it and he was hiccupping, closing his eyes at the sight. He didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t stop. Tears were dripping down his face and he kept hiccupping, his diaphragm jumping and making him sob.

“Oh my god,” he heard Key murmur.

“Come on, come on,” Key said, tugging him inside and leading him somewhere, Taemin didn’t really care.

They were walking up the stairs and Taemin didn’t want to, but Key tugged him along gently but firmly, still repeating “come on, come on Taemin,” like he was talking to an infant and it made Taemin cry harder.

Taemin was led into the bathroom, where Key pushed him in. “You stay here. I’ll be back. If you’re going to be sick again, use the toilet okay? I’ll be back.”

Taemin knelt over the toilet, retching miserably as the rest of the pork bun and bubble tea escaped him without his permission. He had never been so embarrassed in his entire life, he was so disgusted at himself. He wanted to disappear.

He wiped his mouth with toilet paper and flushed the toilet, lying on the floor. He didn’t know what to do. He could still smell that vomit everywhere and his mouth felt like a sewer. He had just regurgitated himself all over another human being. 

He felt like he had been lying on the floor forever, sobbing and the blood rushing up to his face in shame when he replayed the sight of vomit dripping down Key’s shirt, and how he must have had vomit dripping from his mouth.

“Hey, hey are you okay?” asked Key’s voice as he entered the bathroom, crouching next to Taemin and rubbing his back, and then holding Taemin up into an upright position.

“Are you going to be sick again?” asked Key, and Taemin shook his head, noticing that Key had changed his clothes.

Oh the shame.

“Okay, come on baby,” soothed Key, getting up and pulling Taemin up with him. He rummaged in the bathroom counter and produced a toothbrush as Taemin tried to dry his eyes with his hands.

“Come on, let’s brush your teeth,” said Key, handing him the toothbrush and pulling him toward the sink.

Taemin brushed his teeth, hiccupping, avoiding the mirror. He must look disgusting right now.

After he finished Key wet a face towel with warm water and wiped Taemin’s face soothingly as Taemin calmed down.

“Sit down, sit down,” urged Key, sitting him on the toilet seat. “Calm down Taemin, it’s going to be okay.”

“Arms up,” said Key and he looked up to see that Key was holding a shirt. He looked down at his hoodie to see brown stains on it. He started crying again and shaking his head, clutching onto the hem. He was so embarrassed.

“It’s okay Taemin,” reassured Key, sensing his embarrassment and hesitation. “It’s fine baby, come on.”

He let Key pull up his hoodie and the shirt underneath quickly and carefully and slide the new one on.

“Come on, don’t cry like this,” said Key, kneeling down in front of him, hugging him. “It’s okay. Everyone gets sick. You don’t need to cry.”

Which were the exact words Taemin didn’t need to hear if he wanted to stop crying.

“Why did you get sick Taemin? What happened? Are you ill?” asked Key desperately, rubbing his back.

“I… I…I..”

“Hmm?”

“I drank cold t-t-t-taro tea and ate a p-p-pork b-b-bun and it didn’t mix w-w-well and it j-j-just all c-c-came up-“

Taemin felt Key shaking. He sniffled, his tears lessening in confusion.

“Ahahahahahahhahhahhaha!”

“W-w-what?”

“You ate a pork bun and drank taro tea and that’s why you vomited all over me and are crying like this? I thought something was really wrong! Oh my god Taemin!”

“I’m so embarrassed!” cried Taemin, sobbing again. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not!” laughed Key, hugging Taemin, and the harder Key laughed, the harder Taemin cried.

“Come on,” said Key, cupping Taemin’s tear stained face in his hand. “I’m not laughing at you Tae, don’t cry so miserably. This was not what I imagined when I said you were going to come back crying to me, hahaha!”

“Awww,” said Key, enveloping him in a tight hug as Taemin’s face collapsed into sobs again.

Taemin missed this smell and body and warmth so much.

“Maybe you need to just rest,” wondered Key out loud. “You feel like lying down?”

Key didn’t wait for an answer and tugged Taemin up. He led him into his bedroom, where he lifted his blanket.

“Come on, lie down,” said Key.

Taemin shook his head, feeling self conscious.

“I think you need to rest Taemin, lie down,” coaxed Key. ‘Take off your skinnies. They must be uncomfortable. Do you want me to do it for you?”

“No!” said Taemin, shucking off his jeans and hesitantly lying down. Key smiled and covered him up with the blanket.

“I’m so sorry,” blurted out Taemin.

“It’s not your fault, you can’t control these things,” said Key, tucking him in and propping himself up on his stomach next to him to Taemin’s hair back. “Clothes can be washed and clean again. It’s nothing.”

“What about a relationship?” asked Taemin. “What about us?”

Key remained silent, playing with Taemin’s hair.

“Do you still love me?” asked Taemin.

“I love you,” said Key. “Don’t you think this little episode just proved it?”

“Then why would you call me bad karma? Why did you say I’m the cause of all your problems in your life? I don’t want to be bad karma,” said Taemin, looking up at him tearily.

Key sighed and leaned over him in a hug.

“I don’t think you’re bad karma. You shouldn’t have heard that.”

“It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever been called,” whispered Taemin.

Key rested his cheek against Taemin’s forehead before kissing that spot several times softly. “I don’t think you’re bad karma Taemin.  But I think.. you have more issues than you realise.”

“What?”

“Babe. You constantly have to break the rules of our relationship. Every time you come back and say you love me and we’re fine, but in the end, you always get what you want and do what you want. It just good that I’m something you want, but you don’t care about what I think. You just plow on through yourself. You never ask if I can come over. You just tell me to. You take me for granted, and you don’t realise how committed I am to you.”

“Because everyone just leaves,” blurted out Taemin, burying his head into Key’s shoulder. “Every time.”

“What do you mean?” asked Key, stilling.

“They just leave,” said Taemin. “Everyone leaves.”

“Tell me about it.”

“No, I don’t want to.”

“This is what I mean. I want to know Taemin.”

“I don’t want you to know,” sniffled Taemin. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

“I’m not just anyone. And I promise I won’t tell anyone else. Maybe I can make you feel better.”

“Everyone just leaves me alone,” cried Taemin struggling to explain. “They left me alone when I was bullied. No one was listening. No one cared. Everything was just inside. Nobody wanted to listen, ever. Everything is inside.  And they all leave, and I can’t make them stay. And they took me away, and no one listened. It’s just all inside. And then I met you, and I want you to stay with me more badly then anyone else I have before. Nobody listens unless I scream.  I don’t want you to leave me. But you do, you want to, and I don’t know how to stop it. Everyone just leaves me, no one wants to stay with me.”

“I have always been by your side Taemin, always. You’re always the one who pushes me away,” said Key, holding Taemin, who now had a steel grip around Key.

“You were going to run away without me, you were going to leave,” hiccupped Taemin. “Just like everyone else.”

“But I took you with me, didn’t I? I want to hear what’s inside Taemin, I’m always listening baby.”

“But.. it’s never been outside before,” cried Taemin. “I’ve never even thought about it. I just keep it inside. I don’t want to make it outside. I’m scared. I don’t want you to know. I don’t want anyone to know. I don’t want to know.”

Key realised that Taemin meant that even he didn’t even know all the feelings and thoughts that were in him, and he didn’t want to. It made him sad to think that Taemin had gone through enough in his life to have legitimate problems, and that no one, including Taemin himself, wanted to hear it.

“I need… control,” continued Taemin. “I want everything to go my way. It has to go my way. I don’t like not knowing what will happen. I don’t want it. I need to make it go my way. It has to. I can’t… I can’t make it go out of control.  It’s scary when things go out of control. Things are always bad when I can’t control it.

‘So everyone leaves, but I want them to stay. I need them to stay, but they keep leaving.”

Key sighed as Taemin stopped talking and just kept sniffling while Key his hair. He was in love with a seventeen year old boy who was a control freak, had abandonment issues and probably more that Taemin wasn’t aware of. He didn’t know how to fix it.

He wondered what he did whenever he felt angry.

“Do you believe in soulmates Key?” asked Taemin suddenly.

“I don’t know,” said Key. “But if it does exist, I think mine is you.”

“You’re my soulmate Key,” said Taemin, looking at him with innocent eyes. “I love you.”

“What do you love about me?” teased Key, trying to make him feel better.

“I love your face, I love your smell, I love your laugh, I love you you you,” said Taemin squeezing him. “And I don’t want you to ever leave me.”

“Then listen to me.”

“I do-“

“No. Really listen to me now.”

Key peered at Taemin’s eyes and made sure he was looking back.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“Then let me control you.”

“What?” spluttered Taemin.

“When you’re sad, you’re angry and you don’t know what to do, tell me and I’ll tell you what to do, okay? You tell me anything you want to you want to and I’ll tell what to feel alright? Put everything on me, I promise I will make it okay. I promised I’ll look after you. You need to realise that you’re not alone, and I don’t want you to be alone.

“I only leave when you push me away Taemin,” whispered Key in his ear. “If you want me to stay, all you have to do is stop. It’s time to get over what scared you as a child, my love. ”

A/N Aaaargh im so busy working and playing with my friends and the night is too hot for me to go to sleep so im like, dying :( re 

But going to get crunk soon! hooray! :D