Final Goodbye
Crash
Taemin carefully wrung out the cloth and cleaned the tops of the stones.
“I’m so glad I’m here,” he said quietly. “It’s been a while, but it feels like yesterday.”
This was the first time he had seen the gravestones. He traced his parents and brother’s names with his finger tip as he knelt in front of them, biting his lip and trying not to cry.
“Hey, it’s okay to cry,” said Key, squatting down next to him and putting his arm around Taemin as he dragged his sleeve over his eyes.
After the incident, Onew and Taeyeon had signed Taemin up for counselling. Taemin reluctantly opened up to the psychologist who made him do weird stuff like draw pictures and to his relief, didn’t make him take pills. She recommended to give Taemin closure, and Taeyeon asked Taemin if he wanted to visit Korea, and she, Onew and Key accompanied him on his second plane trip of his life. He also didn’t get Onew’s car as promised.
Taemin looked at the ground, at the stone and saw his tears land like water droplets on the grey.
Key used his thumb to lightly Taemin’s arm as Taeyeon and Onew stood behind them.
“Try talking to them,” said Taeyeon, bending down and rubbing Taemin’s back.
“But they can’t- they can’t- they can’t hear me,” sniffed Taemin, jerkily using the same sleeve to wipe his eyes. “They can’t hear me.”
“You don’t know that,” soothed Taeyeon. “Just try.”
Taemin kept his eyes on the dirt that had patchy bits of grass growing on it as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat and stop the quaky tone in his voice.
“Umma… appa.. .hyung. I’m sorry I didn’t visit earlier. I really, really w-w-wanted to!”
Key held him a tighter as his sentence disintegrated into a quiet sob.
“This is my boyfriend Key. He’s really nice. I wish you could meet him. I met him in America, umma, appa. Yeah, a boyfriend, hyung. I know. Weird, right?”
He sniffed as he looked up at the names, slowly loosening up.
“I live with Taeyeon noona and her boyfriend Onew hyung in America now… they look after me really well. I promise I’ve been good…because I know I wasn’t good when I was with you guys and now I’m good f-f-f-for y-y-you…”
Taemin clamped his hand over his mouth to try calm himself and closed his eyes as hot tears tracked down his face and his breathing got choppy.
“It’s okay,” murmured Key as he pulled Taemin into his chest as Taeyeon made understanding noises and wiped his cheeks with tissues for him.
Key looked at the gravestones and talked as well to take the pressure off Taemin. “Hello. It’s really nice to finally be here. Taemin always talks about you and thinks about you. And I’ll try my best to look after him and make him happy, don’t worry. I love Taemin.”
They spent a few more moments at the foot of the grave, in a respectful silence as Taemin quietly hiccupped.
“You want to go get something to eat?” asked Onew gently. “We can come back tomorrow if you’d like, Taeminnie.”
Taemin nodded and let Onew and Key help him up.
“They’re so proud of you, I know it,” said Taeyeon hugging him.
Onew put his arm around Taemin as they prepared to leave. Key hugged him from the side, and Taemin inhaled the familiar citrus scent that could instantly soothe him. He was surrounded by people who loved and who he loved, and were alive. He had a new life. He had a new and comfortable home. He told himself he was lucky, just like the psychologist told him to do. And for the first time, he felt lucky. For the first time in his life, he felt like everything was going to be okay.
“Bye umma, appa, hyung.” Taemin whispered. “Saranghae.”
A/N *SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB* My baby! My baby is over!!!!!!! Crash is always at the back of my mind, I’m always wondering what I should do with it, what I should write, how I need to update it, how much I love Crash haha. I wanted this fic to end but then I didn’t. This is my baby fic okay wah wah wah! I feel like I can’t leave Crash. I can’t leave my broken Taeminnie and this jealous Key! WAAAH!!!
I really want to write a new taekey fic but I have no ideas for one. Please suggest a storyline that could be cool, please! But don’t worry. I’ll think of one. I promise!
Next chapter is the epilogue! :)
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