Jongin smiled faintly, fingers curling into Joonmyun's side as the elder pulled him up against him, and he almost nuzzled his face into the elder's neck. "Thank you, for your help, Joonmyun," he murmured, voice soft against the human's neck as he slowly moved with him back over to the mattress. As soon as he felt the soft stability beneath him, he shuffled back so he was leaning against the headboard, fingers dragging through his hair.

 

"Okay... in answer to one of your questions... Last night, Kai said something about imprinting? Or he started to, before I stopped him. For werewolves, and most animals in nature, the act of imprinting is our way of... knowing who we have to protect. Despite what you know, or think you know, about werewolves... We're protective creatures... and once we imprint on someone, we feel that we need to protect them no matter what..."

 

Sure, it was partially true. Once a wolf imprinted, they wanted to protect their mate at all costs, but it was so much more than that. he just didn't want to tell Joonmyun anything that might scare him or worse. He looked up at Joonmyun carefully, wondering if he believed him or not, before he settled and rubbed the side of his face. 

 

"Any other questions that you have?"

---

 

Joonmyun had expected that he'd have to start the conversation, to put the question forward and prompt and answer, but Jongin spoke first and the elder listened. It wasn't at all what he'd expected, but who would expect for someone, a werewolf, to tell them that they've been imprinted upon. He couldn't complain, though, because at least now he knew his safety would be guaranteed, and that if someone tried to hurt him then Jongin -- or, more likely, Kai -- would step in and put a stop to it.

 

Something was missing, though, but Joonmyun was too tired to figure out what, and he wasn't sure he was up for more questions than what he'd already planned out. With his biggest question now answered, Joonmyun relaxed, leaning back against the chair despite knowing that he could very well fall asleep if he stayed like that for too long. 

 

After sitting there for a too-long moment, Joonmyun finally spoke, knowing this question was likely pushing into dangerous territory. "Why.... why won't you turn?" What was so bad about it? The others, they seemed fine with turning, but Jongin was so adament about not turning. There had to be a reason, because someone didn't put themselve through hell trying to keep something bottled up.

---

 

The teen's eyes watched the human carefully, watching as he leaned back and relaxed in the chair, watched as he processed the information - the partial lie - that he'd just told him. He'd been expecting the next question, expecting Joonmyun to wonder why he refused to turn, why he put himself through so much just to keep from turning, but it still made him flinch, and he looked down with a soft sigh.

 

"I... don't like what I am," he said softly, his eyes focused on his hands as he stared at his palms and fingers. "In this form, I'm human... I'm fragile, I'm mortal and I'm like everyone else. When I'm Kai, when I'm the creature... the animal... I become something else. I become something the alpha wants me to be. I don't /want/ to be that person. I don't want to be a monster. I just... want to be normal. Andevery time I give myself up to Kai, I lose a little more of myself in the process. I'm not as strong as Sunny, or Yunho, or Changmin or Jaejoong. When they turn, they hold onto themselves, but I... Kai has so much anger, so much hatred for this pack, for the Alpha, that whn I turn, I feel him take me over completely..."

 

He trailed off and looked up at Joonmyun with dark eyes. "I just want to be Jongin."

---

 

Joonmyun was quiet, attention fully focused on Jongin as he spoke, voice quiet but sincere. Before, the older male had known to some degree that the boy didn't like it here, didn't like who he was and who he was forced to live with, but only now did he see it for what it really was. 

 

There was a part of Jongin that had been with him since he was born, was a part of him and would always be, and there was nothing that could ever change that. Inside him was another being, someone he didn't care for and didn't want to be, but he didn't have a choice. And while Jongin might have been weak, so was Kai, because everything had a weakness, and everything was only as strong as it's weakest point. 

 

Joonmyun understood what it was like to be someone he didn't want to be; that's how he'd grown up, pretending that he was the face of innocence so that he could get what he wanted and act like he'd earned it. But he and Jongin were nothing alike. Joonmyun could shed his innocent facade whenever he wanted, throw it away and never see it again, while Jongin was stuck with Kai, stuck with the wolf inside him. 

 

"I... I don't think you're a monster, Jongin," Joonmyun murmured, shifting slightly before he met the younger male's eyes. "And I don't think you're weak; I think that Kai is, and I think he wants out for a reason. There's always a reason, Jongin, you just have to find it." 

 

It was a lot easier said than done, but Joonmyun wasn't sure what else to tell him. Jongin was supressing a part of who he was, so there had to be a reason why he wanted to escape so badly. While there might not have been a lot he could do, Joonmyun would help however he could, just so long as Jongin was happy. So long as Jongin could be... Jongin.