Jessica

Tae…yeon…

When I uttered her name, I started getting flashes… I didn’t quite understand them and they came to me one after the other.  Each one hitting me harder than a freight train, each flash of memory seared my mind like a hot branding iron. Yet I could barely comprehend what I was seeing in my head but I could distinctly recognize my mom’s voice.

“Umma… can you please hurry it up? My Yeonnie is waiting for me at the park!”

“Aigoo… Sooyeon honey, can’t you hold your horses for just a few more seconds? I’m still trying to wear my shoes!”

“But mom! I don’t want to make Yeonnie wait too long!”

I was really excited to meet Taeyeon, that day… since mom offered me a ride to the park all I could do was whine as my mom seemed to take forever for her to get ready.

Just as that flash ended another one came…

Mom and I were already in the car, and we have just entered the freeway.

“Sooyeon, you’re really something, I can’t get you to wake up early but whenever you have something to do with Taeyeon you would easily wake up and eagerly meet her.”

“Hehe can’t help it mom, I just want to please my Yeonnie~”

“Sometimes I get the feeling that you love Taeyeon more than me or your dad”

“Awww mom don’t be such a drama queen, you know I love you…”

“Aigoo… my baby girl!”

“…but I love my Yeonnie even more!”

“Yah!”

Mom and I were happily talking, she was being her usual dotty self, she did always complain about my sudden change of behavior whenever it's about Taeyeon.

 After that flash... Another one followed... This time the pain became twice...thrice... Four times more unbearable. Huge beads of sweat formed on my forehead as I cringed and grit my teeth.

"Mom! Watch out!"

"Hit the brakes!"

I screamed, my eyes widened and I was on the edge of my seat as I nervously watched the huge truck skidding and its trailer whipping from side to side. Mom panicked and tried to avoid the trailer. I nervously prayed for a miracle but before I knew it I felt the sudden and overwhelming pain after our car rammed the trailer.

A tear rolled down my cheeks, things partly became clear, I felt like the mist that has always surrounded my mind lifted. For the first time I could remember what happened to me years ago… though still fragmented and partly confusing like a jigsaw puzzle, somehow  for the first time I could remember… somehow the pieces made sense... Somehow I could see what happened and I'm somewhat glad. Part of me wondered what happened to me… why I can’t seem to remember the accident and how my mom died. But what was even more annoying was this feeling that I forgot something that's very dear to me, something I desperately wanted to get back. Part of me always wondered about it and as I got older the mystery was slowly eating me up inside.

Taeyeon…

Taeyeon... I never wanted to be parted from you... You're my first and hopefully my last... You're everything to me.

I never meant to leave… I always wanted to be by your side Taeyeonnie

I slightly groaned as I stirred in bed… in bed? How? Where am I?

Just as I wanted to open my eyes and see for myself where I was but everytime I open them, my eyes would lose focus and my eyelids would close. My senses weren't lucid and but I heard Taeyeon's voice clearly and what's more surprising is she's having a conversation with dad.

“Please, Taeyeon call me uncle. You never were that formal with me before and you shouldn’t start now. Not when you’ve met each other once again.”

“B-but Mister— I-I I mean uncle things aren’t like what they were before, I have three daughters now… Sooyeon… she might not… we couldn’t… it wouldn’t workout.”

Da-daughters? She? Then those 3 little girls… aish… right… those girls did say they were looking for their mom. But I never expected that my yeonnie is their mom. Even so I love her and it doesn't matter... Nothing else mattered I won't let anything get in the way between me and yeonnie. Even if things aren't the way they were before I still want her and I accept everything about her.

“Please Taeyeon ah; I know that the old Sooyeon is still in there, I’m sure she’ll accept you and your daughters no matter what. Please don’t give up on her, don’t give up on your happiness, please I beg you Taeyeon don’t give up on Sooyeon.”

I heard dad begging Taeyeonnie, he didn't have to do that... I know that he's well aware of how empty I became... But he didn't have to do that. I'm getting... No... Taking back my Taeyeonnie. I'll do it myself until she comes back to me.

I tried to get up, open my mouth and utter a word but I still feel a bit groggy. The only thing that left my mouth was a groan. After mustering whatever strength I had all I could do was groan and feel a slight discomfort because my head still hurts from all those flashbacks.

Please work with me here... I can't afford to let this slip away... I can't... Stupid body wake up already! I've never felt so heavy, so drained... Slowly my hands clenched, I tried to get some wind behind me. I know I can't do much but at least I should call her out. I can't afford to lose her now... What if I'll never see her again. I know my heart wouldn't be able to take it if I lose Yeonnie again. Breathe in... Fill those lungs with as much air... Come on you can do this Jessica.

“Tae…yeon…” I throatily uttered her name.

Not even sooner than when I was done mentioning her name, I heard some shuffling and footsteps coming towards me. I felt her hand... The familiar warmth that I sorely missed clutching my cold hand and slowly bringing me to life.

“Sooyeon!” Her voice... Beautiful as ever, the mere sound of her voice made my eyes flutter open. I could see her eyes were welling with tears yet her lips were pursed together into a subtle smile that tells me how relieved she was.

I love this girl... Even when I forgot I desperately tried to remember... My heart has always been hollow as if it was missing something. This girl... She's the missing piece that  would complete me.

Having her by my side, holding her hands, smelling the faint fragrance of her strawberry shampoo. Those cheeks that I used to pinch so much, that chin dimple that appears whenever she smiles, everything about her, I surely missed. She continued watching me with evident worry, even if Taeyeonnie looks worried she would end up looking all cute. It was always part of her charm. I smiled like I never smiled before and quickly sit up so I could give her a big hug.

“Taeyeon! My love~!” I grinned as I continued to trap her in a hug. I don't know what came over me but I immediately pressed my lips with hers.

"S-Sooyeon..." her voice trailed as I parted my lips from hers, I grinned like a creeper while she was stunned and in a daze.

"Yeonnie~" my fingers pinched her cheeks, causing her to breakout from her stupor.

I looked her in the eyes and brushed her hair over her ear, as I did that I could feel her starting to whimper and her eyes grew redder at each passing second.

"Yeonnie gwenchana?" I asked as I soothingly rubbed her back.

"Sooyeon! I missed you so much!" She wailed and hugged me, she hugged me with so much force that we fell back to my hospital bed.

She cried for some time until Yeonnie eventually calmed down, my fingers found their way and ran through her blonde hair. All the while she never loosened her hug, if anything... I could feel every once of longing as her arms continued to wrap around me. We stayed in this position for awhile... Well actually we had to... Yeonnie fell asleep while burying her face on the crook of my neck, right now I don't mind staying like this. I continued staring at her as my hand ran through her blonde locks, god I love this girl so much.

-AnDroGeNie-