08

Of Desires and Dreams

 

Chapter 8:

 

This time around, as Tao had promised, their team heads no longer picked them up. Rather, the guards at the airport were notified of them, and they were gathered together. There, in a room, waiting for them all and ticking off names off a list, was a chestnut haired young lady. Her hair was long and straight, her eyes were of the richest, darkest shade of brown there was without crossing over to black.

He was asked to show her his passport and when she returned it to him, she gave it back with a smile, a big, bright smile that simply screamed rainbows and sunshine.

"Thank you, Mr. Byun," she said in Korean, startling Baekhyun. Her voice, too, was full of rainbows and sunshine, Baekhyun could almost imagine that she worked with children all the time.

Flustered, he simply nodded and went to take a seat. There, he saw Aze, bobbing his head to the beat of a song that blasted through his earphones. He tapped him on the shoulder and they greeted each other amiably.

"Where's Bry?" he asked.

"He's not joining anymore," Aze said.

"But why?" he asked in shock.

"He's not allowed," Aze shrugged.

"By his parents?"

"By his blood," he replied vaguely.

"Blood?"

"Baekhyun, I can't tell you the complete details," Aze said apologetically. "Unless I want to stop, and I can't just do that. When I get the chance to explain to you everything, I will. I promise, just trust me, okay?"

"Sure," Baekhyun shrugged, but underneath, he wasn't so sure. "But is he okay?"

"He's perfectly fine, don't worry," Aze assured him.

Soon, all the remaining contestants arrived, and the girl cheerily herded them all to a bus, where they met a man named Kris who welcomed them all. He was one who welcomed them on behalf of the palace.

"So Tao is unable to meet you all today, and Victoria came on his behalf," he said. They all sat down in the bus as he spoke, and he towered over them even more. "While I came on the palace's behalf. The Emperor welcomes you all to China, and we hope that you will also be able to appreciate our country aside from Wu Shu."

The competitors that were home grown were not with them, so Kris' words made sense. He had spoken in Mandarin first, then once more in English to make sure that everyone understood what he was saying, then promptly sat down beside Victoria, the bright, smiling girl that had checked off their names one by one. They exchanged words amiably, despite looking like they were spectrums apart when looking at their perceivable disposition. But looks can always lie.

 

~°~

 

"Lu Han, Lu Han, Lu Han!" Tao hissed, scrambling after his charge.

"But Tao, I want to see," Lu Han whined. "Why does Kris get to go and I can't?"

"It's his job," he replied.

"Come on, there's nothing fun to do, and you want me to stay here and wait?" he asked.

"You're needed here," Tao emphasized. "The Emperor said so, didn't he?"

Lu Han groaned. "Another meeting!" He flailed his arms about to express his dissatisfaction. "We'll be back before they get here."

"Too late, Lu Han," Tao apologized. "The president of Korea has arrived."

"How do you know?" he asked.

"The Emperor left to greet him. Come on, Lu Han, please. Even if the Emperor doesn't mind, Kris will chew my head off. Please? He's worse than anyone else," Tao whimpered.

Lu Han sighed and gave in. Kris didn't have a temper, but he did have a habit of chewing people out when they didn't do their tasks well. It was like his knee-jerk response to correcting things, and it was like facing a thunder storm and a volcano at the same time. Absolutely terrifying.

"Alright, alright. I'm not going to feed you to the wolves," he replied with a smile.

"Wolf," Tao corrected with a grateful, sheepish smile. "There's only one Kris."

"Right," he smiled.

 

~°~

 

Kris walked down the hall in search of Master Chen Long. Victoria had told him that he'd find the elder there, most likely reading a book or even praying, which were two of the most common things he did when he had nothing to do.

He found the room and tentatively knocked on the door. He looked worried and skittish, and almost alien look on his face, since he normally knew what he was doing and he was sure of it. But right now, he was going to ask permission for something he'd never even thought of doing before.

"Yes?" came Chen Long's voice from within the room.

"This is Kris, sir."

"Come in, come in, the door's open," he replied.

Kris entered the room to find a smiling Chen Long drinking tea and reading the day's paper.

"What brings you here?" he asked.

"I was...wondering if I can go home," he said uncertainly.

"Home? Why so soon? Didn't you just go home a few months ago?" Chen Long asked.

Truly, it was rare for Kris to ask that. About twice a year was the norm. Once at around Christmas to New Year and once in the latter half of the year even when he was a wee little kid.

"Y-yes, but-"

"Someone special you want to visit?" Chen Long asked knowingly.

Kris blushed, but nodded anyway. Chen Long was like his second father, as the others', and he couldn't lie to him. Heaven forbid. He trusted the old man too much to do that.

"I understand. Does Lu Han know?" he asked.

"I have told him."

"Tao and Lay?"

"Yes."

“Then you’re all clear. Will I be expecting to see you soon?” he asked.

“In one week,” Kris said.

Chen Long nodded. “In seven days it is, then. I hope you can be back ready to work again, Kris.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“See you in seven days,” he confirmed.

 

For Kris, leaving was that quick, as he held two passports, one as a citizen of Canada, and the other as a citizen of China. He had quite a saving, even if he did send money to his parents, the result of his thriftiness and roughly ten years of service.

Ten years. It was that long, yet that was not the summary of all the years he’d spent living his life knowing Lu Han. Ever since he was five, when he had first set foot (consciously) in China, he was quite amazed by all of it, and he was by his mother’s side. Then, they were only visiting her parents, who were eager to meet their grandson.

Kris’ grandparents, at that time, were serving the Emperor. His grandmother, especially, was tasked with the care of one little boy—the bright eyed, curious little Lu Han. That was how he met Lu Han.

Meeting the boy had been odd for him. He didn’t know what Lu Han would be like, and his mother had repeated over and over for him to be nice to Lu Han while his father, before they even left Canada, had told him to do whatever was needed to do to keep Lu Han happy. To five-year-old-Kris, that made Lu Han sound bad, really bad, as if he was so used to getting everything he wanted and there was no saying no. It was almost as if Kris imagined Lu Han to be a devil in the form of a child, but meeting Lu Han in reality was very different.

Lu Han was quiet, insecure, but very polite and very understanding. When he had been told by his mother to be good to Kris, he replied with a very willing 'Yes, Mama'. When Kris stood in front of him, looking like he was ready to dash away in fear, or even wet his pants, Lu Han went and gave him a hug.

"It's okay, I know it's scary here, but everyone's nice," he said with a smile.

From that day on, Kris decided that the kindest person in the world was that little boy named Xi Lu Han, a little boy whom everyone in the world assumed was conceited, judging, and just simply horrible, was really a kind, quiet little boy who needed more love.

Ever since he was still a little kid, Kris had always had this odd dichotomy of personality where he'd be like a clam at one moment, all stoic and brooding (though he did not know those words when he was a kid; he just described Kris as sad) and be the most hyper, cheery and friendly person in the world (or so it seemed). With Lu Han, a new personality of his emerged, a new dichotomy. Now, however, his world gravitated to Lu Han. A lot of things he did, then and now, were done because of him.

Lu Han was the best friend he'd ever have, and honestly, he was the best brother Lu Han never really had. Because Lu Han, though he was loved by his parents, was an heir. He was an object, under the scrutiny of that which is known as the public. Lu Han simply had to be a paradigm, he had to be as close to perfection as possible. He also had to be taught his duties as an Emperor's son and heir and as the future Emperor after his father. And as such, he was robbed of his childhood.

Two years after the innitial visit, Kris' grandmother had chosen to retire and asked her daughter to take over her duties. Seven-year-old Kris was brought along. He was to be, officially, Lu Han's playmate. Had Lu Han been someone else, Kris could have ended up as a plaything, not a playmate. It was then that he had begun to accompany Lu Han wherever he went. That was not his job then, but a lot of people noticed it. He clung to Lu Han tightly without aggravating the other boy, and the next year, he was officially asked to work as Lu Han's assistant.

Little Kris had accepted it gracefully, as gracefully as an eight-year-old-child could. He frankly liked it; they had become something like brothers, and staying together was a positive thing.

Fast forward ten years, and still, he was by Lu Han's side. Only, now, there was Tao and Lay as well, but their stories were tied by a different knot.

 

~°~

 

In a place that was not her own, in a place that she'd known, but never really knew, Yoona was busy putting together pebbles she'd plucked from the river into an image. She'd added a few other bits and pieces as well, setting free the artistic side of what was Im Yoona.

She'd arrived early, having fallen asleep earlier than usual, and, to her pleasant surprise, there was no Lu Han. She'd been thinking of how she would show him how grateful she was to him for being an amazing friend to her in the past few months since they'd begin meeting each other. She could not buy him a present, she wouldn't be able to present it to him. Unfortunately, aside from the clothes on their backs, there was nothing else from the physical, the waking world that they could bring in. Neither could they bring anything out, and presents, well, presents were part of those things that one cannot take in nor take out of this place. But perhaps a memory. Yes, a memory could be taken along no matter where one went, and they meant so much yet weighed so little.

It was really quite a shock. She'd learned so much, grown so much, simply by being here and being with him. But it was also something that caused her to think.

Recently, she realized she'd grown far too attached to Lu Han to ever forget him. He'd been as close to perfection as she could imagine, since there was no such thing as a perfect person. And what he was was a person.

How did she know?

Of the days they'd spent together, she realized what was really him. She learned of his faults, his heart, and his redeeming qualities, and truthfully, she'd never met any man as honest as Lu Han was with her save her father and Kai, but the other men were her family. Her father, as an example, had to be honest. If not to all, then at least to them. Then Kai. Kai was, in that sense, very obedient, and followed that example of his father. Especially between the two of them, honesty was a rule.

So, as odd as it was, Yoona realized that she had developed a crush on this imaginary figure. She preferred him over any other guy that had approached her and asked her out. Though they met only in dreams, his presence was something she really, truly felt and cherished. His presence had brought about the best in her, and it was through him that she had found that there was really more to her than she could ever imagine.

True, in school, Yoona was still quite reserved, still a bit aloof, but she had become more confident, more friendly. She was no open book, but she was no snappy turtle either. She was willing to talk to others, willing to do something for others when before, she would have passed onto others. After all, nothing changed over night, but things could change over a span of time.

In front of her was now an image of a crane made of pebbles and a few shells. It looked like it was captured while it was dancing, and the elegance of the crane was captured in that one image.

"It's beautiful, Yoona," Lu Han commented, taking her by surprise. "You're a wonderful artist."

"Lu Han!" she exclaimed in surprise. "You're here!"

"Yes, yes I am," he replied with a laugh.

"Well, I made it for you," she replied, looking away from him as if in embarassment.

"Me?" he asked. "Why?"

"I wanted to...thank you. For being my friend, for everything," she said. "You made my life far more colourful."

"In all honesty, you have made my life more vibrant as well," he replied with a smile. "But thank you, Yoona. Your thoughtfulness is really very touching."

"I'm glad you like it."

"I'm glad you made it. Cranes are lovely creatures, elegant birds. Simply elegant," he said, trailing off. His line of sight had shifted from the bird to Yoona who was sitting beside it, admiring it as well.

"But it's not perfect. I wasn't able to get enough pebbles. It's the best that I can do-"

"It's really beautiful, Yoona. Nothing is perfect, but a lot of things are beautiful, you just have to see it for what it is to see its beauty."

"Really? I've never known that. Art has always been something to strive perfection for."

"But you have never reached it."

"Never."

"And you never will. Because art is never perfect, Yoona. Art is beauty in its imperfection, just like emotion. It conveys a different message everytime."

Yoona nodded. "Another new thing that I learned."

"Yoona?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"I have something to tell you," he said.

"What is it?"

"I realize that this sounds awfully odd, but I wanted you to know, at least, that I really appreciate having you here. No, uh, what I'm trying to say is...Yoona, I think I've fallen for you," he said, a bit flustered, but still relatively calm.

Yoona was taken aback by the confession, a blush creeped up her face. She diverted her attention back to the crane on the ground, avoiding Lu Han's gaze.

"I know, it's weird. Perhaps you are thinking that I am crazy for saying such things, for doing something like this to you when obviously I cannot even stay by your side and really be there for you, but I just wished to tell you. And by telling you, I had hoped to clear it out. Maybe not make it into something else, but then, at least, make our friendship stronger-"

"I understand, Lu Han," she said, cutting off his incesant blabber.

"And what I wanted to ask is...would it be alright with you if I asked you to be my girlfriend?" he asked. "I mean, yeah, I understand if you say no; we can always stay friends and everything and it's weird now that I look back at it since you and I only meet in dreams, but-"

"Lu Han," Yoona called.

"Yes?"

"Why not?" she asked. "As weird as it is, right now, I think we're both crazy, if not, then I'm crazy, for having a guy from my dreams as my boyfriend. But why not? I don't know if you're real, though. You're too good to be true."

I don't know if you're real though. Yoona's words drifted through Lu Han's mind, and oddly, they were comforting as they were painful. There was no way in the world that Lu Han could prove to Yoona that he really did exist. Possibly, Yoona thought this a game, and when she wakes, it disappears. That thought was rampant in Lu Han's mind, yet he found solace. That was probably the closest he'd ever get to finding true love.

 

~°~

 

"My best friend just got a girlfriend," Kris said with a smirk as he and Seohyun were walking down the park. He slid his phone back into his pocket before diverting his attention back to his companion. It appeared they had mutual feelings, though they were both unsure, and they decided to give it a go. They weren't going to lose anything in the long run, but they had the possibility of gaining a lot.

"And you're ecstatic because...?" she prompted.

"That kid is a little too quiet for his own good," he replied. "But enough about him. I spend too much time working with that guy already!"

"He works with you?" she asked.

"You can say that," he shrugged. He knew this wasn't the complete truth, but he didn't know if telling her about Lu Han so soon was a good thing. Lu Han was still the prince, best friend or not, and his privacy was to be respected. He was just a little too happy about it.

"Well, that's good. I hope he treats her well," she mused.

I hope they treat each other well, he thought. How was Yoona going to react when she finds out that Lu Han is real and that he's the prince of China?

He smiled at her and nodded, then diverted her attention to something else. Perhaps speaking of his 'best friend' was not the smartest choice.

 

Kris stared at the ceiling of his room that night, pondering his recent actions. Honestly, he could not believe that he had come here specifically with the thought of visiting Seohyun (aside from his parents, of course) in mind. He never had the desire to do things differently for the sake of others. He loved regularity, and knew that the slightest fluctuations could damage a lot of thoroughly-planned things, schedules, yet here he was, causing Lu Han problems by leaving so suddenly.

"Kris?" his mother called, after a knock on the door.

"Yes, Mom?"

"May I come in?"

"Sure," he replied. He made some room for his mother on his bed.

"How is work?" she asked, as she sat down beside him. He placed his head onto her lap and she gently his head, running her fingers through her son's hair, as she used to do when he was still a little boy.

"It's great, Mom. Lu Han's really nice to me," he said honestly. "He's practically my best friend!"

"How can he not be? You two spent so much time together as children," she said with a chuckle. "I'm glad you two got along well. Ah, my little boy is all grown up!"

"Mom!"

"What? It's true, isn't it? Now, you've even got a girl you like, and you're really doing something about it. It makes me happy, Kris, knowing that you've grown well. I feel sorry for not being there while you were growing up. I feel like I'm a bad mother for not making sure that you stayed by my side until you were really ready," she said, her voice full of melancholy.

"Mom, everything's fine," Kris assurred her, holding her hand. "You did what you had to do, didn't you? And it made me become what I am. Yeah, I miss seeing you and Dad a lot, but that made me better, don't you think? If I were to be by your and Dad's side, don't you think I'd still be childish and I'll only be thinking of myself?

"Mom, I'm the one who should be sorry. In a way, I was far too fixated on becoming Lu Han's friend and best ally that I wasn't a good son to you. I made so many blunders that no matter how long I live, I will never be able to make up for. I'm really sorry; I did only what I thought I can do without trying harder to be better. And now, I'm here, not because I wanted to just visit you again, but because I wanted to see Seohyun as well.

"I think that makes me a bad son, doesn't it? I've never visited you for more than twice a year, yet-"

"Stop it," his mother said. "So what if you don't have the luxury of visiting us every month? Kris, your Dad and I are very proud of you. You grew up well, and you helped Lu Han grow up well, too. As young as you were, you sacrificed time for the young master. There is nothing to be disappointed about. As young as you are, you know your duties, Kris, and you know where your loyalties lie, and that's very important.

"If your father did not grow up here, we'd all be in China, serving the Emperor and our country. But I think that this is what Heaven destined for us, and we can only accept our roles and live them well and live them fully. Serving the Emperor and his family does not mean that you're serving a random person; it means you're serving the country, and it is every man's responsibility to serve his country.

"It is the unity of the people under a wise emperor that allows our country to grow and prosper. If our Emperor isn't wise and good, we would be living horrible lives, and the name of our honorable homeland would be tarnished. It is our duty to make sure that the Emperor and his heirs are good and ready to take the throne and serve the people. And as people, it is our duty to uphold our country's dignity as it is the Emperor's duty to rule wisely and provide for his people. You know that, right?"

"...Yes, Mom," he replied resolutely.

There was a steely determination in his eyes as he looked into his mother's gentle eyes. He knew, he just knew that he had to do whatever it took to protect Lu Han. Perhaps not from the same things that Tao was looking out for, but for things that only he knew he could watch out for. That was his job, something he had voluntarily signed up for, and he had to see it to the end.

"I love you, never forget that," she said, planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Thanks, Mom," he replied. "I love you, too."

That question always seemed to haunt Kris, the question of how much are you willing to give up for your friends? Truthfully, it stemmed from his knowledge that the greatest sacrifice one can ever make is to sacrifice his life for his friends, and sometimes, he wondered whether he really could when push comes to shove.

For some reason, there was this rather odd feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him that he was going to find out. He didn't quite enjoy the feeling, but he accepted it. After all, if the sacrifice was for a man like Lu Han, it was worth it. He'd already readily given up so much for his country, and he was yet to ascend to the throne as emperor.

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xinli_ang
I. Am. Alive. So I'm back. Sorry for the delays. I hope you enjoy! :)

Comments

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afiqahalya
#1
Chapter 20: So grat wohooo love it make more luyoon story plzz
Nasyiq #2
Chapter 20: Amazing author-nim, amazing is all I could say! Thank you for giving me such a grand pleasure reading this masterpiece of content of yours!
breakeven
#3
Chapter 20: I felt like I was reading a historical novel omg. It's so beautifully written ;A; great job author-nim :')
super_sone02
#4
Chapter 20: Its.. amazing. You are amazing to write this story. This .. I'm speechless. You made an amazing job to complete this beautiful story. Just one advice, Stay the talented you right now. Never give up on writing more stories to take people's breath away. This is just... even the word perfect isn't perfect enough to describe this. I love your hardwork. Great job, author-nim!
obtainable
#5
Chapter 20: this was beautifully written and very original.
well done. c:
iloveloveSNSD
#6
Ahh...SeoKris my favorite couple..haha
dinhae
#7
Chapter 16: omg!u updated! /throws confetti/ i don't know why this chapter made me cry.,i know this chapter is not a dramatic chapter, but...... i don't know i just cried! i smell problems!

i'm soooo happy u updated! /hugs u/
dinhae
#8
this is a nice update!!! Luhan and Yoona getting married?? hahaha yes!!! but i smell conflict on the way!!! tsk!! i hate conflicts, but it's part of the story!! :) awwww, sometimes i feel like Kai likes Yoona in a man-women way... but, i know kai was just missing his sister that is very close to him.. i wonder who are Luhan's other brothers..
soneorblink #9
Hello! I've read almost all chapters in one sitting! Your writing is so good. This fic is really addicting! Luhan and Yoona are just too sweet and I am loving the way the other characters interact with them. XD I am liking Kai's character here. He really loves her sister. Awww ;A; XD Sometimes I even think if he loves Yoong more than that. lol am i making sense? Forgive me, I just ship YoonaxKai too. lol BUT OF COURSE I REALLY SHIP YOONAxLUHAN :"))
I think this fic will end soon? Am I right? D;
Update soon! XD
dinhae
#10
T____T i was so late..you updated tons of chapters already.. i was on vacation sorry..
anyway!! my fave part is here!!! they already met!! and they are getting married!!! (i'm rolling like a buffalo)
i love all the chapies i missed!!!