Chapter 17:

Actions speak louder than words, but sometimes, our actions send a different message from the ones we really want to say. Then again, we could also be saying nothing but others think we're saying something. After all, we never really know what goes on in another person's mind, and when they assume things, we can't really blame them. It was our actions that sent the wrong words.

In the time that Lu Han was away, he had spent much time with Victoria, who was with him in Tao's place, since Tao was bound to Baekhyun, and bound to China for the time being. As the sister-figure for the lonely child, neither of them thought that it was only they, who were on the inside that knew the truth.

Aside from that, Lu Han was seen galavanting with the princess of Japan, with no escorts nor chaperones in sight, causing people to assume that he was cheating on Yoona. The fact that it's almost been a year since they were married confused everyone else why Yoona has yet to be with child. The media immediately assumed that Victoria was his concubine, but since it was never announced, it was assumed that he was cheating on her.

But whether it was true or not, Yoona did not know. Frankly, she wouldn't have cared under different circumstances because Lu Han has promised her... But promises could be broken, for they were nothing more than words. And though Yoona trusted Lu Han with her whole being, the pressures that those from the outside, those that did not really know her was heavy. Their words, no matter how she tried to block them, were seeping in, disturbing her thoughts. They were slowly eroding the trust that she had for him. And the fact that she had hardly spoken to him since they left save a few phone calls did not help. She wondered whether she was not allowed to their quiet sanctuary because Lu Han was doing something...

Many people assumed that the marriage of the Prince of China was crumbling. For a month, he had been away from his homeland, his wife, and he did not go back despite the pictures. But pressing matters were keeping him away, and he had been unable to explain to her properly, as he had not met her in their dreams, and he had not the time to call for more than five minutes, time he did not have.

Why did people assume that it was crumbling? Because a new picture had surfaced, and Baekhyun had his arms wrapped around the lovely Princess, her face buried into his shoulder. And because it has happened once, it should not have happened again (but it really could have, since the guards watching over Yoona were Hangeng, Tao and Baekhyun, who was in training). But should she really be blamed? For Yoona had been struggling for so long. Her duties as a princess were burdening her, her duties as a student were threatening to destroy the last bits of her sanity because of the condemning looks people would give her every now and then, and she felt her relationship with Lu Han slipping away, not because he meant to distance himself away, but because people had been sending her the suggestions that he was distancing himself from her, for he no longer wanted her despite his sweet words. And all those criticisms, those condemning looks, those duties that she had been trying to faithfully fulfill and the feelings of being so separated, since she was away from him, from her brother and his friends who were like her friends, her parents, Seohyun and even Kris who had become a good friend, was taking its toll on her. Tears had become her sole escape and Baekhyun was the one who happened to be there to catch them.

Their bond had always, even before they had left for China, been good, like siblings. And since Baekhyun had promised Kai that he'd take care of her in his place, he stood by it and vigilantly watched for any danger as well as any tears that threatened to fall. In Lu Han's absence, and in Kai's absence, he dried her tears trying to help her cope. He comforted her as well as he could and gave her his unwavering support and care. Who was to blame him if he willingly helped her when she needed it? None, if they knew the truth. And no one should even dare to blame them, for Yoona was never raised in such an environment and she had suddenly been into the spotlight. And it was difficult.

After that incident, Lu Han and Yoona were finally able to meet in their little sanctuary. It was three nights before he returned, and for that he was glad. He had missed her, and so had she, and they had a few things to iron out, which they did. And through the night Lu Han held her close.

After they return, they found out that Yoona was pregnant. At first, they were ecstatic--finally, they have a possible heir. But then, the doctor declares that Yoona has been pregnant for a few weeks, something that they found a bit odd since it couldn't have possibly been that Lu Han had instantly gotten Yoona pregnant right after they returned... But she was.

The declaration came abruptly. Baekhyun was banned to where all the trainees were, with his fate as a martial artist and prospective guard hanging in the balance. Apparently, Master Chen Long suspected that he had caused Yoona's infidelity, despite Lu Han's protests.

"...I'll find a way to convince him, I promise," Lu Han said, trying to comfort Yoona. "I know whose child that is, and it's ours, no one else's. And if I can't prove it so soon, I won't allow anything to happen to Baekhyun. He is a precious friend, and his help has been very precious. Don't worry, love."

Yoona nodded, but she was still worried. She knew that Lu Han could only convince, because he had such a restricted amount of power, and even then, the Emperor could overrule it if he wished.

~°~

"I can't do this anymore," Yoona confessed to Jia as they were walking to their class. "I just can't. It's too much."

"You can do it; you have to do it," Jia encouraged. "I believe in you, and Prince Lu Han believes in you. So many people believe in you."

"That's a lie," she said, as tears began to slide down her cheeks. "Few people believe in me, it's always been that way. I can't do this, Jia. I can't. I can't keep up this... This... This way of life...! I'm tired, Jia. I'm very tired."

Jia led Yoona to sit down worriedly. "You can, Princess Yoona. You can, I believe in you. What matters are the thoughts of those that know you, isn't that right? And I'm one of those that matter to you, right? And... I believe in you, whole heartedly," she urged, giving Yoona a much needed hug.

Yoona broke down in her arms, and suddenly, Jia's heart seemed to break. She'd always known of her friend's sufferings, but it was only now that it really seeped in...

"Princess, this isn't good for you," she said, worried of the child Yoona was carrying.

Yoona suddenly gripped Jia tightly, alarming the other.

"What's wrong?" Jia blurted.

"It hurts..." she whimpered.

"What hurts?"

Yoona grunted, no longer capable of a coherent response as she crumpled in a heap, unable to remain composed due to the pain.

"Help!" Jia reflexively screamed.

Hangeng reflexively ran up to them and scooped up Yoona, heading for the infirmary, talking to Jia to get the necessary details as he did so.

~°~

"No longer," the Emperor said, shaking his head furiously. "Yoona will no longer attend university, and that is final."

"But father, it was promised to her that she would finish her studies should she wish!" Lu Han reflexively responded.

"What matters more to you, Lu Han? Yoona's preference or the preservation of a life?" the Emperor countered strongly. "I understand that you want her to be happy, you want to give her what you can and most of all, you want to compensate for what you have taken from her. But child, sometimes, we have to choose. We will never have all options open to us at all times, no matter who you are."

"Is there no compromise available? Father, there must be a way! I shall find it," Lu Han remarked strongly.

"And what?" the Emperor boomed, causing Lu Han to flinch. "Make sure that the child she is carrying dies? Make sure that she will have a miscarriage over and over again? Lu Han, don't be naïve! The country is far more important than the aspirations of one person.

"One person may mean the world to you, but they can never matter more than society as a whole. They can never be more important; because in this world, every single person is dispensable, no matter what their social status, if such casualty will bring about good for the majority. Sacrifices must be made."

"I can make it work! We can make it work!" he insisted.

The Emperor laughed ironically at Lu Han's antics. It was like watching a fool counter the wise with their faulty thinking. He knew his son meant well, but if this was the way he was to think, then China will fall. No matter how strong the first links were, if a weak link were to come, the chain will be broken.

"Then you shall decide her fate," he said gravely. "Heed my words, Lu Han. I will put her to death if you cause her to lose that child. I will disown you and install another as my heir. Know that I am the Emperor, and my word is law."

Lu Han's eyes widened in shock. Never has he seen his father threaten anyone so forcefully. It scared him, it truly did, for he was a man known for staying true to his words.

"You wouldn't," he gasped.

"Trust me, I would. As I said, I may be your father, but this country matters more than you, more than her. No one will ever know how or why; none need to. Only you, Heaven and I will know."

"How can you?" Lu Han asked, now feeling desperate.

The look in his father's eyes scared him, for they held only steadfastness. Fear gripped him, kept his tongue in place, and he scurried out of the room with his tail between his legs.

The Emperor sighed. It was difficult, a very pompous claim that he would never be able to fulfill.

"That was quite harsh, your Majesty," Master Jay noted.

"Is it not our duty to do all that it takes to protect our people? Our country?" he asked, to which Jay conceded. "You know as well as I do what a man's duty is to his country and to his people, Jay. You know full well. I hope to never have to live up to that threat."

"I shall do what I can to influence his decisions, your Majesty, if you will allow it," he offered.

"Do so. And watch over the boy after I'm gone, Jay. Chen Long and Lianjie will not be there forever, but you will likely live long enough to see his whole reign."

"Yes, your Majesty," he replied curtly. He bowed and was about to leave when the Emperor called him once more.

"Jay, I assign you to Yoona. She may change his thoughts more than any of us. If his is love, then he will not be deaf. Teach her, teach Tao, teach Baekhyun. The latter will influence her greatly, and together they will influence Lu Han. His heart is soft, but for a crowned prince, as a future sovereign ruler, it is too soft, too easily swayed."

"Yes, your Majesty."

~°~

Master Jay sat on a tree branch, seemingly waiting for someone.

"You called?" Tao asked, appearing beside him.

"I need your help."

"With what?"

"Lu Han."

"I'm listening."

~°~

"Yoona, love, I'm back-" Lu Han greeted, but stopped short, when he saw Yoona bent over a book with Master Jay beside her. Hangeng and Victoria were nowhere to be seen, and the four boys tailing him stopped short, but their expressions lacked the shock his held.

"Welcome back, Lu Han!" Yoona chirped. Master Jay greeted him cordially as well, before Yoona caught his attention again and directed it at her schoolwork.

Lu Han stepped back outside followed by the boys.

"What just happened?" he asked.

"Master Jay wanted to help Ms. Yoona with her homework?" Tao suggested.

Lu Han narrowed his eyes, unwilling to accept it simply as so. "There has to be a reason."

"Don't be unreasonable, Lu Han," Kris chided. "Hangeng-xuege is good friends with Master Jay, isn't he? I'd bet Ms. Yoona gets mentioned in their conversations every now and then. Besides, Master Jay is good at English, he'd be a great help to her."

Lu Han sighed. "You're right. That's just probably it," he said, muttering things to himself as he walked back in.

"Why'd he believe you and not me?" Tao asked.

"I'm his best friend," Kris replied with a smug smile.

~°~

Day by day, Lu Han watched Yoona with a hawk's eye. It was not that he did not trust her; it was that he feared for her safety and Master Jay's presence did nothing to lift his anxiety. Somehow, he felt that Master Jay was out to do something to sabotage him, though he's never been given reason to think that way. It was probably his anxiety, and the fact that Yoona was just as happy with Master Jay as she was with Hangeng. His presence allowed her not to miss Tao and Baekhyun sorely, though he felt she did every now and then.

Baekhyun, oddly, was just as lively as he always was, greeting Lu Han and giving Yoona his signature smile without fail. It was something, he thought, that Tao probably had drilled into him, because Tao had always been like that. Something he'd signed off as something the monks always stressed.

~°~

Yoona observed Lu Han carefully. Master Jay had included her in the secret. It felt like a game, because whenever Master Jay would say it, he made it feel lighter than it was, though she knew it was a truly grave matter.

The ability of true masters, she thought, was to make simple the difficult matters and to make light the heavy, in order to allow their fellows the understanding that the difficult can be accomplished. One simply needed to break it down into pieces than attempt to gobble it up as a whole.

She watched him, and she realized that he, too, watched her. It added to the atmosphere of a game, and now that she was no longer required to go to class (she was given the privilege to simply finish the necessary requirements at home for all of her current and future classes courtesy of Master Jay), she could take her time and allow the events to really soak in.

One. She was definitely pregnant. With Lu Han's child. It was odd, because it was when they slept together, when they returned after that dream, that she finally conceived. It was as if Heaven was simply asking them to wait, and was asking them to trust. She was glad for it, nonetheless, for the whole country seemed to have breathed a sigh of relief when the announcement was made.

Two. Through the events that have passed, getting through college and earning her undergraduate degree no longer seemed very important. She still wanted it, but now, she understood that there were more pressing matters to attend to--such as making sure that the child growing inside her was safe. And that when it is born, it will be raised in a loving family.

Three. Lu Han really loved her. As in, 'I love you', not 'I will always love you'. The affirming, infinitive, from now on correct versus the beautiful, but actually worthless promise of a forever in a permanent, unattainable future tense.

However, the third needs more polishing. She realized that he had duties above love. And although love was a necessity, the amount of attention one would devote to a loved one was a luxury. Sacrifices, as she learned, must be made.

She could feel that he was struggling, and from what Master Jay had told her, she seemed to be the stem of his problems. But at this point in time, she did not know whether she could be of any help to him, so she would simply have to do her best and persuade him. Because now, China was important to her.

...Because it was important to Lu Han.

A/N: The way Yoona got pregnant... It's more because of my faith than anything else. In Christianity, marriage is supposed to be the union of two souls in holy matrimony. I don't know how to explain. Let's just state it this way: She did get pregnant when they came back, but the to-be-fetus was already waiting for its father. (Does that make sense?) None of this babbling of mine is backed by scientific research. It was supposed to give make Yoona realize the things she realized in the end. >.> 'Cause some things we will never understand until we get there. (Or so they say.) And sorry for giving you guys that linguistical analysis of 'I love you' and 'I will always love you'. I just had to share that. 8D It was one of the first things they told us to help introduce the course when we were freshies of linguistics. xD Well... Yeah. So now, it's got no romantic-ness to anyone who will read this. 8D