Chapter One
The Successful Woman's Guide in Finding yourself
"I'd never thought I'd make it." I groaned, walking into my apartment.
I threw my keys into the bowl I left near the door and kicked off my shoes. I heard the television going as I got closer and closer to the living room.
"Amanda, what in the hell?" I said, regretting giving her keys to my home.
"I made you food. Food makes you eat and eating makes you shut up. You should go try some." She said not taking her eyes off of the television screen.
I rolled my eyes and made it into my bedroom. As a began peeling off my slacks, I listened to the voicemails on my landline. Most were nonsense, as usual.
"Hey babe, it's Fredrick." I heard the heavy British accent say.
"Let me know when we can see each other. I'm getting lonely."
I shuddered in disgust. After a month of messing around, the guy wouldn't stop contacting me. Thank God I gave him my home number rather than my cell.
I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and continued toward the shower. It felt as if I had washed away the days blatent annoyances. It was probably my favorite part of the day. No one could bother me in the confined, tile, rectangle. Not even my closest friend, Amanda. It was my only alone time. Being a psychologist forced me to constantly focus my attention on someone else, so I like to take what I can get.
As I walked back into my living room, Amanda was balling her eyes out.
"What's wrong with you, sweetie?" I asked rubbing her back.
She let out another burst of tears.
"Come on Amanda."
"It's over, Toni. It's over." She cried out.
"They had a reason for denoting me so much. I knew there was! Someone like me doesn't just get denoted so many times in the month! I should've seen this coming!"
I handed her a clean tissue and pulled her hair out of her face. "Slow down, honey. They denoted you again? I thought that was it?"
"Appearently not! They fired me today! They don't need me anymore. I could barely live on the salary I made from the denotions." She said wiping her face.
"I didn't want to tell you yet, but it's been bothering me all day. I'm going to go broke!"
"Well, you're always welcome here. Don't you worry."
I gave her a reassuring pat on the back and worked my way into the kitchen. I scavenged the barely touched room in search of a meal until I remembered that Amanda had made me something. I found a plate of kimchi and bibimbap in the microwave and quickly heated it up, trying to ignore the twisting in my stomach.
As I leaned against the wall and stuffed my mouth, I thought of my day. The hustle and the bustle, co-workers constantly walking in my office calling my name. It never ended. I was working my dream job. A job I never imaginged having in my lifetime. I made good money and was at a pretty good point in my life, but I still felt incomplete. Something was missing.
I usually pushed these thoughts away, thinking I was being ungreatful, but seeing Amanda breakdown like that made it almost impossible to exstinguish from my mind. I'd never seen her so hurt and broken. I've known her since we were in middle school and she was always strong, confident, and right. I was used to being the hurt one, but on the inside, not letting anyone know.
I rinsed my plate and went to check on Amanda. She had fallen asleep so fast. Then again, her day wasn't exactly what I would call peachy keen. I shut off the TV set and shut the curtains so the setting sun wouldn't wake her.
I walked in my room deciding I would turn in early. I tossed and turned in my bed for a little bit, then decided to get up. Laying there only allowed negetive thoughts to creep into my head. Something I often tried to avoid.
"Why me? Why Amanda?" I thought to myself.
As I looked out of the window from my twelth floor condo, the warm sun hit my face as the sunset's glow illuminated my room. It made my brown skin look even warmer. I knew I was priveledged and I knew that I could have almost anything I wanted. I mean, I worked hard for it. I was who a lot of people wanted to be. The only thing was... I didn't want to be me.
If you looked at me, you'd expect me to be 'living it up', enjoying life, but in reality, I was living a lie. Ignoring my feelings about my family. Friends. Work... It had finally gotten to me. I think it's funny how much I envy Amanda. Her employment situation wasn't great, but at least she was content.
I needed a lifestyle change. I needed to explore. I needed to learn. I needed to find myself. I needed to stop being in this emotional slump.
I walked across my bedroom, the ebony floor cold against my feet, and fell into my king-sized white bed.
After laying there for so long, gazing out of the bay window, I realized that my life wasn't going to change if I did the same thing everyday. I needed to take some type of action. Not only for me, but for Amanda as well. There was nothing left for us here.
I reached over to my bedside table and picked up my cellphone and punched in a few numbers.
"Annyeonghaseyo?" a woman answered. Her voice was soft.
"Halmeoni, it's Toni. I'll be there next week... And I'm bringing a friend." I said.
That call made it official. Amanda and I were going to move to Seoul and start a whole new life there. A whole new me. A whole new us.
Author's Note: So I'm beginning to get a feel of writing and into this story. It's really boring so far, I know, but I promise! It gets better~
Hey, I know I haven't been updating, but Spring break is coming and I should have some free time and not have to worry about finals 24/7! ^o^ See you guys!
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