Scrolling through my cellphone for the 20th time today
Reading that text you sent me again
Though I memorized it anyway
It was in afternoon in December
When it reminded you of the day
When we bumped into each other
But you didn't say hi cause I looked away
And maybe that was the biggest mistake of my life
And maybe I haven't moved on since that night
Cause it's 12:51 and I thought my feelings were gone
But I'm lying on my bed, thinking of you again
And the moon shines so bright, but I gotta dry these tears tonight
Cause you're moving on and I'm not that strong to hold on any longer
It's been three days, since the last time I saw jiyong.. Those words he said still echo inside my side. I know I don't have the right to get angry.. to be upset.. or to feel sad.. because I do deserve this kind of treatment. I hurt his feelings.. but one thing for sure, loving him is never part of the plan. I'm listening to music right now.. sound trip! yehey. The song playing right now is 12:51 by Krissy and Ericka. Dang! this song.. It's funny that it was 12:51 when I reached JYP office that day.. it's official! This song will be my theme song for the month.. Leaving him was the biggest mistake of my life.. and I haven't move on since that night.. He might hate me, but I am gonna love him no matter what.. no matter how hurt I am..
Did I forgot to mention that today is my debut day? and today is my birthday? my wish? I'm just hoping for miracle.. miracle.. is it really that hard?
saeng-il chukahamnida,saeng-il chukahamnida, saranghaneun you shi saeng-il chukahamnida!
I was surprised when they sang me a happy birthday.. I didn't expect this one.. or did I?
KAMSAHAMNIDA! Please take care of me! I told them and we all laughed.
Unnie! You are getting older! Isn't it time for you to look for your prince charming? Or should I say.. Eunji was interrupted by Kim.
I think your unnie needs to enjoy her single status first! Kim said.
This isn't working! Sohee told them
Yah! I think she should I mean being single is fun! Suzy told them.
Really? Is it? more fun huh? Taecyeon-ssi told them
Aniyo! It's not what I meant.. Oppa! Suzy said as she act cutely to Taecyeon..
YAH! It's Eunmi's birthday! It is not valentines day! Nichkhun told them.
Sorry to ruin the mood but I can't hang out with you guys.. I still have to finalize eveything for our debut later.. so gonna go! I promise.. someday I'll make it up to you! I told them with a smile and left.
This is my life.. It's my special day but it looks like I'm gonna mourn.. This isn't what I wanted. I want to be simply be happy during my birthday or any special occasion.. but then I guess my life isn't perfect at all..
Yah! someone shouted and I looked back. It was JB form JJ project. one of my closet friend in JYP. Actually, they are going to debut soon!
Anneyeong! I greeted him
Noona! Happy Birthday! He greeted me and hugged me..
Gomawo JB! Noona really need to go.. I promise to treat you when I am no longer busy for our debut and stuffs. I told him.
Neh! I'll wait for that.. I wish you luck for your debut later Noona! I will cheer and scream your name at the top of my lungs! He assured me.
Gomawo! I'll definitely look forward to that later. I told him.
Sure! You're gonna be late Noona for the meeting.. He reminded me.
OMO! Thanks for reminding me.. bye bye! I told him and left.
People are,, I don't know..
You're late again. He's been waiting for you.. and someone from YG also. The secretary told me.
Someone from YG? Who could it be?
When are you gonna be on time? JYP asked me
Mianhae I told him
You're lucky it's your birthday.. and your debut.. Also Jiyong is here to talk to you about the collaboration He told me.
I was shocked. Electric shock! just kidding. I looked up and our eyes met. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and gift. What is the meaning of this?
I guess I'm gonna leave you two.. JYP told us and left.
Hi there! Jiyong greeted me.
What are you doing here? I asked him.
Greeting you a Happy birthday! He told me as he went near me.
What are you trying to imply? I asked him.
Nothing he replied and kissed my cheeks.
Happy Birthday you. he whispered to my ears.
Ji, I'm tired of this! I shouted to him
Why? Are you tired of playing your own game? he asked me
How many times do I need to tell you that loving you was not part of the plan! Hurting your feelings are not also part of it! I told him
Really? then why? why did you just accept the offer to take down my fame and my everything, and broke my heart? He asked me.
If you just learn to listen to me before.. to them.. to everyone around you.. you will understand why I did that! why I runaway from you! You don;t really have to shoved it to my face that I am nothing to you... that you don't love me anymore.. that you don't care for me.. You don't have to! I already know! I already have enough of this drama! I told him while tears escape from my eyes.
Are you sure? you don't have to put much effort to this.. here.. my gift for you.. I don'want to ruin your day.. I just want to give you this.. He told me and gave me the flowers and the gift..
when he was about to leave he told me something.. something that I will never forget..
You know, Out of all lies you told me; I love you was always my favorite. He told me.
you.. it's now or never.. I told myself..
When will you understand that it was not all lies.. and loving you is one of it. Jiyong I love you.. I told him and he just stand in front of the door.
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TODAY IS KOWN LEADER'S DAY!!! I REALLY WANT TO GO TO THEIR CONCERT IN MANILA. -.- BUT I CAN'T. WEW. ;( BECAUSE I HAVE A CLASS AND MY ONLY CHANCE IS THAT WEEK WILL BE OUR SEM BREAK. HEHEHE.. BUT I ONLY HAVE 5% CHANCE FOR IT. -.- I ENVY EVERYONE WHO WILL WATCH. HAHAHAH. :D
AND AGAIN. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KWON JIYONG! SARANGHAMNIDA! ;)
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