As I settle down for the night, the only thing that I'm sure of that this would be a long night but soon enough the sun will come. 

I am afraid to face tomorrow, being helpless and hopeless. 

As I try to comfort myself, I tried to fight of tears that I've kept in, but as the lonely night drags on, the tears began to well. 

I had to stand up to get something from my desk, my legs were weak and so are the rest of my body. 

I've already lost confidence that I would be never be able to overcome this. 

All I can hear is the slow ticking of the clock, and I wonder when will this feeling end. 

And so to set myself at peace, as early as the first rain drops fall, I'll let the rain wash it all away. 

Perhaps, then I'll be ok. 

______________________________________________

Two months and seventeen days had past. 

I had to part ways painfully with the only person that mattered to me. He told me that I was too good, too perfect for him. That I should find someone else. That didn't make any sense to me at all. He drove me away like that and till today I blamed myself. I had lacked in many ways. I had overdone some things. I tried hard sometimes, sometimes I didn't have to try at all. It was all me. 

And not only recently when I found out that I've looked at everything in a different direction. 

It wasn't me, it was him. He found someone else. Better than me, more perfect than I am. She was more mature than I was and she gave him things I can't give to him. 

All the time, I was being me. And I thought that that was enough for him. 

_________________________________________________________________________

I tried to be happy. Slowly I found  myself, but not until the rain comes, I wouldn't be able to liberate myself from all of this. 

My descicion to move tp the city to further my studies primarily contributed to me being able to forget and to take off that matter in my head. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

"So tell me, what is a science major doing in the arts department?", a tall guy with long hair and a classic image of an artist who's severly devoted to his work approached me as I looked like a lost mouse in a maze as I try to figure out my new room assignments for this semester. 

"I'm also into digital art, so I decided to take up classes on my free time."

He kept on looking at my form to verify my claim. Art students are very teritorial, Science majors are very hostile, Languages majors are very friendly and active, that was how students are classified in the unversity. 

"Wait I'll ask someone who can help you. Wait here please.", he said. 

A long-haired girl came after a few minutes, unlike the other guy who was rather intimidating, I was comfortable with her showing me around their building. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

I sat down to the most accessible seat from the door. I felt very intimidated by the art majors. Some of them kept on looking at me as if I was an alien that landed on their planet. 

Just before the professor came in. A tall guy came in. Unlike others who greated one another, he just sat down next to me. He didn't say anything at first but he fixed his gaze only at me. 

He had this "Go-away-you-don't-belong-here" face. Aside from that I can sense that he isn't your typical guy but rather had a cold personality. 

I tried to find a solution to this awfully awkward situation. So I smiled at him.  His brows twitched and his expression became even more serious. I held my breath ready for what he has to do next to torment me. I looked away and continued to take down notes as the professor gave her lecture. 

"That's my spot."

His voice sounded really familliar, as if it was an echo coming from some place I've known. 

"Sorry. I'll move some place else."

I started to gather my things on the desk and one by one placing them in my bag. I was about to stand up, then he said. 

"It's alright, from now on that 's your spot, and this would be mine."

I found him verry annoying for the fact that he'd had to play this game with me. 

After that we didn't talk with each other, I focused on the lecture instead. 

________________________________________________________________________________________

I stayed behind after to class to verify something with my professor. I took my bag then I saw an umbrella near the place where he sat. I took it and would return it next meeting. 

But when I got out I saw his back. He was with some friends perhaps but there was plenty of students too and I tried to catch up with him. He made several turns and stops which where out of my way but I still wanted to return his umbrella as soon as possible. Perhaps to finally cut ties with him. 

I was able to reach him down on the flights of stairs leading to the building. 

"Hey!", I didn't ask for his name so I didn't know how to catch his attention. 

He wouldn't look back. I was making a fool out of myself. 

One of his friends finally noticed me and told him that I was after him. He looked with a rather blank expressionless face and bade goodbye to his friends. 

"You forgot this."

And I handed him the umbrella. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

If there is one thing that I forgot to do today, it was to look at the sky. 

If it would rain or not. 

______________________________________________________________________________________-

"This isn't mine."

I was expecting for him to walk away by now but he kept on making eye contanct in a very uncomfortable manner. The fact that he even moved closer made me more uncomfortable. He just stood there without saying anything. 

"Guess, I'll just keep it.Bye."

I walked away but I haven't gotten far when  I heard him say. 

"Don't you remember me?"

"No, sorry. Maybe it's justt someone who looks like me........"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He reached in his bag to look for something, I waited for him to say something in reply. But as he rummage through his bag, tiny, minute, rain drops  started falling. At first I thought it could be something in my mind but when I looked at the concrete floor, small droplets of raindrops are starting to form. 

But back then I've completely forgotten about the sign. 

I smiled at him and I turned my back. 

"Suzy, wait."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He does know my name. It's was really strange, nobody calls me Suzy anymore.  Only those who I met from middle school calls me Suzy. 

"Do you remember this?"

On his hand was his phone. I thought that he was referring to his phone, but danggling from it's side was a cellphone charm but closely looking at it, it was a small empty nutella cup. 

It was then when it all occured to me. 

______________________________________________________

It was my first day too back then when I transferred schools. I didn't know anybody so I had to eat lunch alone. So I sat down in an empty classroom to eat when I noticed a boy leaning on the back wall of the classroom, just looking at me. He really didn't look like he was ok when I checked on him. I told him that I would get help but he asked me to just stay instead. 

When I observved his symptoms, i realized that it could be a hypoglycemic episode. My grandmother usually experiences the same so I knew what to do. I went over my luch box and took out my nutella cup. I like sweets and Nutella cups are convenient for me  so I usually bring one every lunch.  I told him to eat it, and I stayed until he felt better. 

After that, I heard that he was transferred to a different school that is closer to their home to monitor his condition. 

____________________________________________________________________________________

The real raindrops started to pour.One by one I can hear the splashes the raindrops made on the concrete floor. 

"Do you not really remember me?'

I rushed over as we were both started to get soaked by the rain. 

Good thing there was an umbrella with us that weren't even ours. 

I opened the umbrella and placed it on top of both of us so we wouldn't get wet. 

I smiled at him. But his expression didn't really change that much. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"You are my life saver................................"

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was the day when I promised myself that I would free myself. 

Let the rain pour on me and wash away everything. 

But along with the rain you came, and it wasn't only the rain that saved me.