Phew, chapter 2 is finally up!!

Dear Diary,

Kyuhyun has been in Super Junior for a few months now, and it has only made the group stronger, both on and off the stage. He was truly the evil maknae as his nickname shows, always playing tricks and cruel jokes. Underneath there was a kind person though that only shone through every now and then. His voice contributed greatly to not only our upbeat songs, but the slower ballads as well. If he wasn’t singing a solo, he was always backing up one of the other members. I didn’t mind though, I loved hearing him sing.

We are now getting ready for our first Super Show tour. I am nervous, but excited at the same time. We are all anxious to see the response we will get from fans. It’s exciting though because it gives us the opportunity to perform live for an extended period of time and not just on Music Bank or TV shows. This was where we really got to show the fans not only who we are as artists, but who we are as people.

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It was another long day of rehearsal. We only had a few days left till our first Super Show, and we were spending all day, every day, doing run through after run through of the show on the stage. We were planning out fan service, perfecting vocals, and working out the kinks in our dance routines.

I was straggling behind as the rest of the members headed back to the dorms after another late night dance rehearsal. I thought I was alone but when I picked up my bag and turned around I saw Kyuhyun standing in front of me. I nearly had a heart attack seeing his ghost like silhouette standing there in the dark.

“What do you want Kyu? You scared the living daylights out of me!” I exclaimed pushing my way past him, but he stopped me with a strong arm around my waist.

“Help me Hyung.” He said with a pleading look in his eyes.

“Help you with what?” I asked confused, my mind wandering as we stood too close to each other, alone in the darkened dance studio.

He mumbled something in response that I didn’t catch.

“You’re going to have to speak up if you want my help.” I told him and I saw his face flush, even in the dark.

“Dancing. Help me with the dances, I just can’t seem to get them down.” He said, blushing in embarrassment at his silly request.

I looked him over as he stood awkwardly staring at his feet. He had been struggling with the dance routines lately, always missing steps or getting off the beat. I guess he was just more singer than dancer, it was nothing to be ashamed of.

“Ok, let’s start with Miracle.” I said and walked over to the stereo, flipping it on and going to the right track.

I went to stand in front of the mirror, motioning for him to come over next to me. We danced through the entire song and I focused on watching his movements in the mirror. When the song was over I stood in front of him, figuring out where to start.

“You need to loosen up. The dance is supposed to be slightly awkward, not rigid.” I tell him.

“Like this.” He said and tried to swing his arms again.

“No, you are still too stiff.” (A/N That’s what she said…sorry had to) I said and saw him shake his head in disappointment.

“Here, just let your arms go limp.” I said and took both his hands in mine.

When I felt him relax his arms I swung them back and forth. I stopped and went to pull my hands from his, but he held them tighter. I felt my body react to his actions, my muscles clenching and then unclenching as an electric current traveled through my blood making it boil. My heart started pounding and my entire being felt like it was on fire. Why was he not letting go? And why was I reacting like this? He was only holding my hands…for no apparent reason.

I heard him start singing, and I was utterly confused until through the sound of my heart pounding in my head I heard the song that had come on the stereo.

Nepume kog angyoso durodon
gyoulbadaui padosoriga
jigum hurun nunmure shidgyojyo borijanhayo
uljimalgo gude narulbwayo 

The sound of the fall ocean waves that we listened together
as I held you in my arms, is being washed and thrown away by the tears that are falling now.
Look at me and don't cry.

You are the one
ojig nomani nesarang
you are the sun
tasuhi gamsaon miso
you are my love
to na yogshi gudemane ojig dan han saram
onjekajina gyothe issoyo

You are the one
You're the only love for me
You are the sun
Your smile washes over me
You are my love
And I'm the only one for you
I'll always be by your side

Nunmulmankhum sarangun giphojyo
aphunmankhum to oruni doeyo
maumi dagnundero gujo gorogamyon
doenungorago nan midgoshiphoyo

Love grows deeper as the tears do
I become older as the pain grows
I want to believe that all will be okay
if I go where my heart takes me

He was singing softly, but still audible. As the song continued he pulled me closer to him, releasing one hand only to place it on his chest and wrapping his free arm around my waist. His other hand still held mine when we started swaying to the music. We were dancing, no, we were slow dancing.

What the heck was happening? Why was he doing this?

I rested my head on his chest, testing to see if we would protest, but instead of pulling away he bent his head down and kept singing in my ear. My heart raced and I was sure he could feel it beating at its unusually fast pace. As the song came to an end he slowly released me, only to look at me with watery, wondering eyes. The sudden coolness of the dark room overcame me as I was separated from his warmth, and I surprised myself by wanting to be back in those arms. I was even more surprised by the next question that popped into my head.

‘Was I gay?’

This was something I had never considered before. I had always been interested in girls even though I had never had a girlfriend, but no girl had ever made me feel this way before. I looked at the man in front of me. He was still, not moving or speaking, and was just watching me intently trying to figure out what I was thinking. If he only knew the truth.

“Come on, let’s get back, it’s late.” I said and hurriedly went to turn the stereo off and grabbed my bag and headed out the door, Kyuhyun close behind me. We had no choice but to walk since the rest of the guys had taken the van back, thankfully it wasn’t far. We walked in silence and he kept a distinct space between us. He was clearly very aware that I was flustered by what had happened earlier and he gave me space. I wasn’t sure that I wanted it.

The silence continued as we arrived at the dorm and made our way into the elevator. I leaned against the railing in the corner, exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. I watched Kyuhyun hit the button for our floor and then lean against the wall as well. I closed my eyes, just wanting to fall asleep standing up, but then I felt a sudden jerk as the elevator stopped and I opened my eyes to see Kyuhyun standing with his hand on the emergency stop button.

“W-what are you doing?” I asked scared. I didn’t want to be stuck in this small, dark space with him…well, actually I did, but not under these circumstances.

“I’m sorry Min, I crossed a line earlier and I’m sorry.” He said. I could see his face in the sallow emergency lights, and I could see it in his tired eyes that he really was sorry. I wanted to hug him, to take him into my arms and tell him that he hadn’t done anything wrong, that it was my problem and not his. I didn’t do this though, I fought down the urge and instead reached out and started the elevator again. It was only a few seconds longer and the door opened, I went to go out but was stopped by a warm hand on my wrist.

“Min?” He asked, I could hear the hurt in the voice, and this hurt me. I turned, only to see him looking at me with teary eyes. This hurt me even more, but I couldn’t tell him what was going on in my head, because I didn’t even know.

“It’s ok, I’m sorry too Kyu.” I said, pulling my hand away and walking out of the elevator and into the dorm.

All of the other members had already gone to bed, too exhausted after our grueling rehearsal. I silently made my way to my room and grabbed some pajamas and my shower stuff before heading to the bathroom. I locked the door and the water before stripping down. When the water was hot I stepped in and let it run over me, burning my skin slightly. I felt a different kind of warmth run over my face and heard a sob escape.

Why was I crying?

I was so utterly confused. Why was I feeling this way? Why was I attracted to him? Why did dancing with him and that song mean so much? Or did it? Why did I want it to?

These questions ran through my head again and again as I finished my shower. I stepped out and dried myself and got dressed quickly. I looked in the mirror, checking to see if it was obvious I had been crying. It wasn’t, thank goodness. I grabbed my stuff and headed back to my room where Kyuhyun was waiting for me to finish before heading to get in the shower himself. He left without saying a word and I heaved a sigh of relief as the door closed behind him. It’s not that I wanted to ignore him, I just wanted to figure out what was going on in my heart before I talked to him. I crawled into bed, pulling the blankets up over my head. I was too exhausted and fell asleep quickly, not even hearing him come back in the room.

We were dancing in the dark dance studio. I was leaning against his chest and he had an arm wrapped around my waist. He was singing in my ear and the song brought tears to my eyes. Did these lyrics mean something? Was he trying to tell me something? The song came to an end and he pulled away slightly, only far enough for him to look me in the eye.

“I’m in love with you Sungmin.” He says and then bends down slowly, his face millimeters from mine.

I let out a scream and awoke with a start. I’m breathing heavy and I reach up and feel that my face is wet with tears that are still pouring from my eyes. I sit up and look over to see Kyuhyun staring at me, wondering what the heck had happened.

“Minnie, what’s wrong?” He asks and gets up off his bed and comes over to sit on mine.

“N-n-nothing, it was j-just a dream.” I say in between sobs.

The next thing I know I feel his arms around me. He had lay down on my bed and pulled me into his chest. Despite the memory of what had happened earlier after rehearsal and that dream, I let him. I felt safe in his arms.

“I’m in love with you Sungmin.”

The words that he had said to me in my dream repeated themselves over and over in my mind. Was this telling me something? As he held me there in the darkness, me sobbing into his chest and him rubbing soothing circles into my back the answer to all my questions came to me:

I was in love with Cho Kyuhyun.

I felt a weight leave my heart as the realization dawned on me. I loved him, I had all along. As I lay there wrapped in his arms I had never been surer of anything in my entire life. I felt safe and comfortable, yet nervous and excited all at the same time. It was an entirely new feeling, but I knew I liked it. My tears slowly stopped and I felt his breathing even out. He was sleeping. I snuggled closer to him, his warmth was better than any blanket. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, this time dreamless as my heart was finally at peace.

For now.

So, what do you guys think? Is the pace too fast? Too slow? There is obviously a large gap in between diary entries, but it shouldn't be that hard to keep up with the time period. Also, do you want me to make this rated? I've done rated before, but I'm kind of feeling that this should just be a love story. Let me know what you guys think! Chapter 3 is already started, actually, I started writing it before I finished chapter 2, but that is because I like to work backwards.

Comments are love!!!