I don’t know what I’m doing already. I don’t even know if I still know myself. Well, these rumors are getting the best of me and my life is changing drastically. A few weeks ago, I’m this happy girl who lives her life simply and is enjoying every single day with the people I love but now, the girl who has a smile on her face every day is already masked and knows nothing about herself anymore. I told myself that this new life of mine is the greatest decision that I’ve ever made in my whole life and I won’t regret anything, but I’m totally regretting it now.

“….YOU WILL NEVER MAKE ME LOVE YOU….I DON’T LOVE YOU AT ALL…MY WIFE WILL FOREVER BE MY WIFE AND NO MATTER HOW YOU CRUSH HER….I WILL STILL STICK WITH HER”

It’s still ringing in my ear and my head kept replaying it. My life is now ruined and I’ve got to thank my foolish heart for it. I’ve just ruined a good friendship and my reputation.

“Sir….I……” I stuttered.

I’m trying to dig up all the things that I want to say but I just can’t find it anymore after G-dragon walked out of the room.

“Anne…you were a good girl….hard working and kind….but what you’ve done is totally shocking me…..I don’t know what to think about you anymore…I’m trying to understand you but no matter how I turn all your explanations around I always go down to one thing and that is…you are ruining long protected reputations and you’re firing rumors about your co-employee….it’s like betraying your own family and in this company….we don’t tolerate such kind” YG sajangnim said and it’s slowly killing me.

“I know where you’re coming from Anne…you were also hurt and I’m deeply sorry that you felt we are not protecting and defending you….but this is how we really work…we don’t go out there and talk just like what you’re doing….Jiyong and I tried protecting you but you’re the one who put yourself in serious mess….and now that you are dragging an innocent person in this issue…you just made a fool of yourself coz the truth will always and forever come out and you know so well that none of your statements are true” he continued and it’s slowly sinking in.

I’m slowly realizing things and right now I can say that I’ve done something wrong and I’m damaging a lot of lives with this careless move. I know that I should’ve thought twice but it’s already here and there’s no turning back. If this is going to be the end of me, well then, it’s gonna be the end of me. There’s not much I can do.

“Anne….I’m really sorry but I have to do this….it’s hard but…..” YG sajangnim said and I think I know what he’s about to say next.

“I need to cut you out of the company….I’m sorry….but you have tainted our employees name and as I’ve said we don’t tolerate it here…as much as I want to keep you….but I have to give a punishment and this is the only punishment that I can think of for I don’t have the right to bring this in court….but Jiyong and _________ can….and right now all I can advice to you is just be careful and sensitive next time….you have said a lot of lies” he continued and all I can do is cry.

My life is officially ruined and I’m falling down in hell because of my own stupidity. What will I do if G-dragon and ________ fires back? Of course, they will do everything just to prove that my statements are all lies and it’s so easy to bend all my words for none of them are true. I don’t want to rot in jail or go into trial with all the people hating me. All I want is peace and happiness, that’s it.

The moment I reached our office, I walked into Brady’s room and when he saw me, I can already see disappointment and anger on his face. Well, we’ve been ignoring each other for days already and we’re just being professional unlike before that we can joke around and treat each other like friends.

“And you even dared to show up here” he said and I looked at him with teary eyes.

“Brady….I….I…I can…explain” I said and he shook his head.

“How can you do this to ________? HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? What’s with you? No….what are you? Seriously….I actually thought that we are friends and this just made me realize that maybe the sole reason why you’re sticking around here is because you have this plan of ruining _________’s life and it’s all because of your love for Jiyong…Anne….what you just did is totally out of place already and I’m so thankful that YG sajangnim already fired you…at least we don’t have a traitor and a total fake in this office anymore” Brady said in anger and all I can do is bow my head down and take all the hurtful words in.

I guess this is really my day. I’ve been hearing hurtful words left and right from different people and what’s worst is that, these people are the ones that I care about and love. They are the ones who helped me bring myself up and just by thinking that they are now hating me is enough to bring me to death.

“Brady…I know that I should’ve thought twice before doing such stupid things but you can’t blame me…I’m being crushed into bits by these people coz in their eyes I’m a heartless mistress which is not true at all…as much as I want to explain myself …I can’t for I’m afraid that they won’t even listen to me…that’s the reason why I made all this up….it’s to shift their attention away from me…this is too much for me to handle coz first and foremost…I’m not a damn celebrity…..I don’t have a say on things unlike the Kwons and I don’t have the power to turn things around….it’s just so unfair” I explained and he looked at me strangely.

“You should’ve asked for help Anne….we are all here for you…..we know the truth and that’s what matters most…do you think _________ has a say on things now? She’s pregnant and totally innocent….how can you drag her in this? You are about to ruin a beautiful and well protected reputation….as a matter of fact…I don’t care about you dragging me in this for I’m still building a name in this industry but _________.....she has worked so hard just to get the mass’s respect…she shed blood and sweat….kept emotions and endured a lot of hurtful things just for her reputation to be clean and pure and thanks to you….all of that just went down the drain” he said and we just stared at each other for a long time.

I know all of this so well. Yes, ________ is this and that. She’s wonderful and all of the sympathy is on her. Now, tell me. Who in hell will think right if these people keeps on protecting only one person when there’s two of them getting hurt and bashed? Yes, they did defend me but it’s not enough.

“You are much like my sister….she’s been doing all these crazy things just because of Jiyong and in the end…she’s been proven to be crazy…Anne…a friendly advice….get out of it now….tell your heart to stop beating his name for it will just break it….and order your mind to stop thinking that there’ll be you and him for that is so far from possible…I’m saying all these to you because I don’t want another important person in my life to fall in a mental institution….it’s just love and you can soon get over it” he stood up from his seat and walked out of the room.

I know what to do with myself now. I think I should just go back to Japan and continue my life there. I don’t care if I’ll be a waitress in a sushi bar once again, what’s important is that