November 6

In life, we do things, some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are in the end, shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them, we wouldn’t be the person we are. You know life is worth the struggle when you look back on what you lost, and realize what you have now is way better than before.

It’s much harder to take things when you know that you are at fault and the sole reason why people and things got messed up. I don’t know what to do anymore for I’m feeling really bad for my carelessness and insensitivity. Yes, I’m just doing my job and all I want is to be good at it, but then again, working my off every day and night is not right especially when I know that I have a family waiting for me at home and is expecting me to join them even in one meal.

My husband’s sharp words, our children’s rude acts and cold treatment and Isabella’s running away really had the best of me. It all happened in one day and I’ve never expected it to be this big and intense. I actually thought that once I cook breakfast for them and skip work even just for a day, things will go back to normal but I’m wrong. Things got worse and out of hand. My daughter seems to be keeping a lot of hatred for me and it’s just now that she’s exploding, and it’s not the easiest sight for a mother to see her own daughter ing out on her.

“Baby girl…you have to stick with me…your kids and Jiyong are still waiting for you at home…don’t you lose it” I can hear dad talking, but I can’t even open my eyes.

I don’t know what happened to me at all. All I know is that, I’m not feeling well since this morning and I’ve been through a lot of emotional stress today. I can still remember talking to Gabby and what happened next is really a blur already.

“We have a pregnant woman here” a guy said.

“Five months pregnant…she passed out a few minutes ago” he continued.

“Alright….wheel her in…quick! She’s changing color already!” a girl instructed and I can feel cold air hitting my face.

“Baby girl…hold on….get me? Mum and dad…your kids and Jiyong love you” dad whispered in my ear while panting.

OK. This is a bit scary. Why is that my life suddenly flashed back to me and all the things that I’ve been through was refreshed in my memory? Am I already dying? Is this a sign that I’m gonna kiss this world goodbye already?

“Check her vitals” a guy with a deep voice ordered.

“Is she unconscious when you brought her here?” a girl asked.

“She is….her children were the ones with her when she passed out” a guy answered and I suddenly remembered Isabella.

I really want to open my eyes and talk, just to tell them that I’m fine and I’m not unconscious anymore. I don’t even know why I can’t move when I’m trying my best to even move my feet. Gosh! This is so scary!

“Her blood pressure is high…her heart’s beating a little slow” a girl said all of a sudden and it freaked the hell out of me.

Wait. If my heart is beating a “little” slow, does that mean that I’m slowly deteriorating already? OH GOSH! NO!

“Pulse is normal now….heart’s beating normal as well…we’re up to a hundred” someone said and it calmed me down.

After minutes of hearing different people say medical terms, I felt a cold liquid on my stomach and that’s when I remembered that I was pregnant and maybe they are doing an ultrasound on me. Now, I’m not afraid of my own life but my baby’s life already.

“We have twins here doc” a girl said and my ears are ringing from disbelief.

What is this girl talking about? Seriously, is she checking on me or they have another patient who is also pregnant in one room with me?

“The boy’s half body is hiding behind the girl doc…but it’s all good...we have the heart rates normal” the girl said once again and it’s already cracking me up.

OK. Last time I checked, I’m pregnant with one baby only. My OBGYN in Korea is one of the best in Asia and she has been my doctor since Gabby’s, that’s why I’m so sure that she will never fail. She told us, and we also saw it with our two eyes that there’s only one baby inside me and now, it seems like another baby popped out of nowhere. WHAT?

My mind is still floating somewhere and I still can’t open my eyes or even move normally. My head feels so heavy and I feel really weak. And then after a few more minutes, my hearing faded and I can’t hear the people around me anymore.

“Dad? Why is mum still unconscious?” I heard Isabella asked and from there, I forced my eyes to open.

“She’s still under a drug I guess….don’t worry…she’ll wake up soon” Jiyong answered and I was able to open my eyes already but my lids are still heavy.

“MUM!” Isabella rushed towards me, climbed up the bed and hugged me right away.

I’m telling you, that was the most comforting gesture of all. I know that my daughter has done something to me awhile ago and she somewhat contributed to all the stress that I’m feeling now, but still, she’s my child and even how hard she ed around me is all fine.

“Mum!” she said and I smiled at her.

“Babe” Jiyong said while my hair.

“How are you feeling?” he asked and I tried lifting my body up.

“No mum! Don’t move yet” Isabella almost knocked me back down to bed when she stopped me from sitting up.

“Aigoo” Jiyong told her and she giggled.

“She can’t move yet dad….the doctor hasn’t given her a go signal yet” Isabella said, making me and her dad chuckle.

Our daughter’s cuteness is once again on a roll and I’m seeing the old her as well. The cute and bubbly Isabella that can make a whole room light up with just her giggles and laughs.

“I’m fine now baby girl….I don’t need a doctor to tell me if I can already move or not” I rubbed her back gently and she gave me a warm smile.

“There” Jiyong said after adjusting the bed.

My husband looks like he’s really worried about me even if I’m already awake. He keeps on staring at me and I can’t help but feel a little awkward.

“Babe” I called.

“Yeah?” he looked at me and I raised an eyebrow while trying to read what’s running in his head.

“Is there any problem?” I asked and he kissed my hand.

“I guess there is” he answered and I looked at him in alarm.

“What is it?” I asked worriedly.

“Well” he said and leaned in to kiss my forehead.

“What? Babe…I can’t handle much hanging now…uhmm…hello? I’m a bit stressed out and this whole “I guess there is a problem thing” is really adding up” I told him and he giggled.

“Well…your doctor talked to me awhile ago regarding our baby