My Christmas is not as good as it was before, but I can say that it’s not that bad. I got to spend it with my wife and she even contacted our children for us to at least be with them on that special day. I don’t know, but seeing my seven children made me feel really guilty and the mere fact that my three older daughters are not talking to me at all is really painful. They are aware of what’s happening now and __________ told me that she’ll be the one explaining everything to the kids even though she herself is not believing me. It’s really hard to act normal when you know that it’s really not. Good thing, our sons are still clueless about this. They were able to enjoy Christmas without a heavy heart and I was able to talk to them with smiles on their faces.

____________ and I made a deal, and that is to act like nothing is happening to us but when this day ends, we’ll be strangers for a while. It’s really hard to even agree with it, but I don’t have a choice. Her life and our twins’ are at stake here and if I’ll continue giving her stress by hanging around her, she and our babies will be in extreme danger.

“What is this?” Daryl asked when she walked in the hospital room.

“What?” I asked with my wife hugging me.

“This….oh puh-lease! Don’t tell me that you gave in already!” she told _________ and my wife tried to sit up.

“I haven’t….don’t worry” she answered and it made my heart sink.

It’s just so painful to even think that she’s not bending even if I’m trying my hardest to get her back. I know that what I did is unforgivable and I promised to give her space, but I can’t even take being away from her for a day what more a few months.

“Then why are you hugging each other like you’re newlyweds?” Daryl asked, earning a soft chuckle from __________.

“Just don’t mind us…wait….MERRY CHRISTMAS FAT !” __________ said in a jolly way and her best friend is still shocked with how weird things are.

“I’m definitely going to cut my wrist if I happen to know that you two are together again…I swear” she said and walked towards us and gave us a hug.

“Merry Christmas ” she said while hugging me.

“Merry Christmas Daryl” I replied and she rolled her eyes at me.

“Merry Christmas sweet ” she and _________ hugged each other and it’s a bit weird to see two pregnant women hugging each other with their big bumps.

“Merry freakin Christmas sis” my wife greeted her back.

After an hour, the doctor came and checked __________ again. It’s such a blessing that she’s alright and she can go home already. I don’t know, but it seems like even the doctor was freaked to see that I was there in the room, holding my wife’s hands while she’s checking on her. Yeah, I know that our sudden sweetness is really freaky and totally insane but if only these people know that we are in a deal, I’m sure that they’ll pity us in some way.

“She’s good to go…it’s Christmas and I don’t want to stuck you here…but you have to be careful and remember….no stress….of any kind” Doctor Park said and my wife gave her a nod.

“I’ll take note of that” __________ said and I smiled at her.

“You prepare to go home now…I’m leaving first…Merry Christmas again” she said.

“Merry Christmas Doctor Park” my wife and I said in unison.

The members arrived after a few minutes and they were shocked to see me and ________ in good terms as well. I’m expecting these kinds of reactions from them of course, but I’m wishing that my members and I will also be in good terms now. I’m missing them and I really need them.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” the boys shouted the moment they opened the door.

“GOSH!” the girls shrieked in shock.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS Y’ALL!” TOP hyung said and hugged the girls.

“Merry Christmas Jiyongie” he said and pulled me closer for a hug.

As if on cue, my tears flowed down my cheeks and I feel so happy. I know and can totally understand where hyung is coming from, so even if he has said hurtful words to me, I’m not mad at all for I know that he said that because I deserve it and knowing now that we’re in good terms again is so overwhelming.

“Hyung” I said and he looked at me as if I don’t need to talk anymore for he’s forgiving me already.

“Just fix things” he said while patting me on the shoulder and I nod in agreement.

I told you, this day is not bad at all for when __________ was discharged, she keeps on bugging us to let her eat some good pizza. Her appetite is not that good yet, but she’s eating and that alone is an achievement. Daryl told me that when they were still in New York, she will just eat a few spoons of rice and that’s just it. I must say, this pregnancy is really the hardest and most sensitive out of all.

“Gosh sis! What’s with your buds today?” Daryl asked while watching my wife munch on her second slice of pizza.

We went to Daryl and Youngbae’s house right away after being discharged for _________ doesn’t want to go home in our house and we all know what the reason is. I know that this will happen and I didn’t even react at all. Anne and Yuri is still in our house for I told her that they can stay there till Christmas coz she hasn’t found a good apartment yet.

“I so love pepperoni” _________ said while chewing.

“I can see that babe” I said with a huge smile on my face.

“OH! Excuse me” Daryl walked out of the living room while the members and I are busy eating as well.

“Hyung…our gifts” Seungri reminded TOP hyung and Daesung.

“OH! C’mon…let’s get it Seungri-ah” Daesung stood up from his seat and went out with maknae.

What to do? I forgot to go Christmas shopping and I don’t even have a gift for my wife. AISH! I should’ve taken a day off this week to go gift shopping instead of going out with Anne and Yuri. Oh well, it’s not that late yet. I can still buy gifts for everyone and maybe throw a big surprise for my wife.

“Here you go” TOP hyung handed us our gifts and we are just so thrilled to see what it is.

As expected, TOP hyung gives weird gifts. He gave me colorful beanies and I must say, hyung’s fashionista blood kicked in with this gift for I’m loving it.

“Aigoo” the members and I reacted upon seeing Seungri’s gifts.

Well, he gave us pacifiers with blings on it. It is a necklace as a matter of fact and it’s just really unique. According to him, it’s a reminder that we are good fathers and we should be proud of being one. As for me, I don’t even know now if I’m still a good dad for I’m hurting my kids in every stupid decisions that I’m making.

“I don’t have any gifts to give yet…but I’ll make up for it...don’t worry” I told them and the members showered me with playful punches.

“Hyung it’s alright…the mere fact that you’re here to spend it with us is fine” Daesung told me and it really melted my heart.

“Jiyong….we don’t need any gifts…just promise us that you’ll fix this mess and we’re good” Daryl said, making me and my wife feel awkward.

“Daryl’s right Jiyong-ah…you have to end this rumors already….we believe you now….and the only thing that you have to do is to make the people believe in you…most especially…your wife and kids” TOP hyung followed and ________ stood up from her seat all of a sudden.

“Babe…where are you going?” I asked while holding her hand.

“I’m….I’m…I’m going to the bathroom” she answered with a forced smile and I know so well that she’s trying to escape for she’s not good with this kind of talk.

“I’ll go with you” Daryl said and she looked at me as if saying “I’ve got this”.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I know that I have to fix this mess that I am in. Honestly, I don’t care if a lot of people are not believing me, what’s important is for my family to believe me in that way it’s easier to get their trust back again. My wife is not that hard to get, but my girls and in-laws are. I know that __________’s parents’ loathes me now and it’s just so hard to think of a way to explain everything to them.

“Go now…prepare for a good Christmas surprise” TOP hyung said after I told them my dilemma.

I have to give my wife a good Christmas and I have to make this day memorable for this will be our last day of being together. Tomorrow, we will start being strangers and in order for me to take it, I have to have a good memory of her.

“Where are you going?” __________ asked when she saw that I was getting ready to leave.

The moment I saw my wife’s eyes, I know that she cried, for her eyes are almost popping out of her sockets already. It’s really painful to see her hurting. If only I can do something.

“Jiyong has to go back to the studio _________...YG hyung needs him to work on the new girl groups’ song” TOP hyung covered for me and I just go with it and nod.

“New girl group?” my wife asked and I know with just one look what’s going on in her mind.

She’s alarmed for I’ll be surrounded by girls once again. I can’t blame her though, I know that in her mind, I am not good with temptations and I can easily be bended but I’m not. I am loyal to her, it’s just that I make crazy decisions and moves that brings me to the mess that I am right now.

“Yes…but don’t worry…they’re all minors” I said, making everybody laugh.

“I don’t care if they are minors or what….I’m just curious coz I haven’t heard that YG is forming a girl group once again” she said and the members and I looked at each other as if we’re talking in our heads.

“It’s yet to be announced….but they’ll be debuting soon” Youngbae reasoned out this time.

“aaa…alright” __________ said and I smiled at her.

“I’m gonna see you later…I won’t take long….OK?” I moved closer to her, our faces only inches away from each other.

“OK” she said and looked straight into my eyes.

“I love you” I said and she looked away.

“Go now” she said and it’s heartbreaking for she pretended like she didn’t hear anything.

“I love you” I repeated and kissed her.

She did respond to my kiss but I cannot say that it’s one of our best kiss. I know that she’s holding back and anger is still there. At that point, I don’t even know if this deal is a good thing for we look like we’re just fooling ourselves for we are not in good terms at all and is just acting like we are.

Seungri volunteered to go Christmas shopping with me but when he saw one of the upcoming YG artists, he excused himself and told me that he’ll just follow later this afternoon. Actually, the only reason why we went there is to drop all his gifts to the YG people. Well, I’m not sure if our maknae is hitting on this girl but I can see that there’s a spark between them.

“Hyung” I said upon bumping into YG hyung at the lobby.

“OH! Why are you here? It’s your rest day…right?” he asked and I smiled at him.

“Merry Christmas hyung!” I greeted and he gave out a hearty laugh.

“Aigoo…I almost forgot…Merry Christmas Jiyongie…you’ve given hyung major headaches but I’m still here for you…always remember that” he said in a fatherly tone and pulled me for a hug.

“Kamsahamnida hyung” I said and break the hug “I know that I’ve given you a lot of problems