Chanyeol’s week went by with him unwilling having to watch his best friend trade smiles and sweet nothing’s with some random girl Chanyeol had never seen in his life. A girl who was so sweet and nice it made Chanyeol feel sick to his stomach.

Not because she was only nice to Baekhyun, but because she was nice to everyone. It made Chanyeol feel guilty for hating her as much as he did. She didn’t deserve it, nor did Baekhyun, or anyone who had to put up with Chanyeol’s recently found pissed mood.

It’s not like he could help it. He was the one who let himself fall for his male best friend. He was the one who started looking at his childhood friend differently. He was the one who kept wishing that one day Baekhyun would run to his arms and embrace him tightly. He was the one at fault.

So that tight feeling in his gut kept growing, no matter how many times Jongin and Kyungsoo tried telling him Baekhyun’s relationship wouldn’t last, and all those things people make up to keep a friend happy. That idea did make him a little happy, but not as much as he had thought.

Because after all, the most important thing for him was Baekhyun’s happiness, and if that meant he wasn’t gonna be the reason for his heart to pound, then he would do his best to support whoever did. No matter what. No matter how wrong it felt.

But it’s not until Chanyeol finds himself alone with Baekhyun in his room that he feels like they’re growing apart. Baekhyun looks like his normal self, but Chanyeol can’t bring himself to act the same. Things have changed.

Baekhyun has made several attempts to grab Chanyeol’s attention, but what comes out of his mouth this time is what really does the job, “Chanyeol have you ever kissed someone?”

Chanyeol is pulled out of his rather blank thoughts and he looks questioningly at his friend before answering, “No... Have you?” 

He didn’t really want to know. No, correction. He didn’t want to know at all, but how weird would the atmosphere turn if he didn’t ask? He wondered and much sooner than what he was expecting, he got his answer, “Almost...”

Once again his eyes snapped in his best friend’s direction and only when he opened his mouth Baekhyun realized what that look on his eyes was, “Almost? What do you mean by that?” he let out in a much angrier tone then what he wanted.

“Why do you sound angry? Chanyeol... I don’t get you at all” Baekhyun answered right back and watched as Chanyeol got up from his spot and made his way towards him. Eyes so dark he wondered if Chanyeol was going to beat him up.

Instead of a fist coming in contact with his face -like he had imagined- he felt two big, warm hands wrap around his face and Chanyeol’s lips brushing softly against his right ear, “You don’t, because you don’t even try...” Chanyeol whispered and stepped back.

Baekhyun was frozen, his eyes wandering around before locking with Chanyeol’s. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand one thing about what Chanyeol was talking about. Was he supposed to? 

“Forget it” Chanyeol said as both his hands dropped from Baekhyun’s face and straight to his sweat pant’s pockets. A sudden wave of emptiness hit Baekhyun and his right hand quickly grabbed a hold of Chanyeol’s shirt, causing the taller boy to quickly brush it off.

“Chanie... I don’t understand” he said quietly and hoped for Chanyeol to maybe enlighten him about his behavior, but he didn’t, Chanyeol went back to where he was and flashed Baekhyun one of his signature smiles, “Forget about it”

After that small moment between them, Chanyeol never once dared to touch Baekhyun, afraid that maybe next time he wouldn’t just brush his lips against his ear, but rather do something that would probably cost him all their years of happiness. That couldn’t happen. 

Baekhyun sometimes tried to get Chanyeol to hang around him and his girlfriend, but the younger boy would quickly dismiss him and disappear somewhere Baekhyun could never seem to find him. Baekhyun started to notice how Chanyeol’s smile seemed to not shine as much as it did, a few weeks after Chanyeol walked in on him and his girlfriend kissing. 

It pained him. 

If there was something he loved to see, it would have to be Chanyeol’s happy smile and how sincere it always was. But nowadays that smile seemed to be covered by something Baekhyun couldn’t really figure out.

One day, Baekhyun decided to take a break from his girlfriend and went to sit with Chanyeol and the others at their usual spot -which he hadn’t frequented in more then 2 weeks-. The small group, that was chatting happily, quickly went quiet at his presence and they stared at him like he was a ghost. He had never felt so guilty.

“Oh hyung... You’re alive” Jongin said after a while of awkward silence and Baekhyun nervously laughed, “I’m sorry...”

“What’re you apologizing for? You have a girlfriend now so it’s only natural you don’t want to hang around us anymore” Jongin teased but Baekhyun seemed to be really taken aback by his words, the feeling of guilt only building up more. It felt suffocating.

“I... I-” Baekhyun tried but quickly closed his mouth, which yearned him a pat in the head coming from Kyungsoo, who right now was the closest to him.

“Never mind him” Kyungsoo started and sent a glare to Jongin before continuing, “How as it been between you two?” 

Baekhyun swallowed a couple of times before finally answering, feeling a little nervous for unknown reason’s, “It’s been good I guess... I don’t really know how this all works” 

Kyungsoo smiled warmly and patted him on the back, “You always look happy around her so it seems like everything is going well” 

Jongin followed with a nod and Baekhyun couldn’t help but glance at Chanyeol, who kept his face turned to the side, at such an angle Baekhyun couldn’t see anything but his soft brown locks, that were getting longer everyday. 

He opened his mouth to call out for Chanyeol but was surprised as the younger boy turned around without him having to say anything, a lingering smile on his lips. A smile that had Baekhyun reminiscing over it the whole afternoon. 

It didn’t look like a happy smile at all. It looked like a smile someone would make when they’re finally ready to give up something which they would give their lives to have. Baekhyun just didn’t know who/what was that thing Chanyeol was holding so dear. 

And he was so anxious to know, he let the question that had been replaying in his head for the whole afternoon, slip through his mouth as soon as they were alone, and he watched as Chanyeol’s body froze on spot and he didn’t move a muscle. 

“sorry if its a weird question...” Baekhyun tried but just as he finished talking, Chanyeol’s voice took place, “It’s not. It’s not weird. I just don’t know the answer to that” 

Baekhyun searched deep in Chanyeol’s eyes for an answer and after a second he finally got it. He was lying. “Why are you lying to me? Aren’t we supposed to be best friends? How come I feel like your getting farther and farther away from me...” he almost whispered the last part and hung his head low.

A small sarcastic laugh echoed through the room and Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to look Chanyeol in the face because he knew he wouldn’t like the expression he was wearing. “I’m the one who’s getting farther away? Is that supposed to be joke? Hyung... I’m the one who always waits for you but always gets disappointed when you choose to hang around... her” 

“Why do you dislike her so much? What as she done to you? huh?” Baekhyun said back, voice angrier than Chanyeol had ever heard, and it had the latter silenced.

After a few minutes of pure silence Baekhyun seemed to have enough and snapped, his anger boiling as he began to talk, or more like scream, “I don’t get you at all! You said you were happy for me but you when I’m together with her you look at her like she did something to you! I-” Baekhyun was just getting started when Chanyeol screamed back.

“She did! She stole everything from me!"