Hyosung rolled back and forth on the mattress, her eyes opened wide in the dark. She had been counting how many times the clock tickled and she still couldn’t close her eyes. A sigh escaped from her lips. Things had been miserable lately and it bothered her a lot.

Everyone must have that time when they just feel so depressed and just want to give up on everything. She was in it. She could not hold herself back when the wave of the sudden feeling of weakness came. It was just too sudden and not expected that she had to tell herself to calm down.

Half of her felt grateful that she had lived separately from the members. It would be too much trouble to let them see how broken she was right now. The room got even darker than before when the evening passed and went to midnight. Her heart’s condition seemed to follow the same darkness as she could not even think of any good things right now.

Things that came into her mind were evil. They told her how vulnerable she was or how she should have rested and not going too popular or how she could actually live her life better if she was not with her group.  She had to slap herself once to wake herself up from those bad thoughts.

Whimpering when her body became sensitive to the slightest pain, she had to take a pillow and put the cool side on her burning cheek. Sighed again as she still felt weird inside, she reached for her cell phone.

A chat suddenly popped out in her notification. Took her time, she checked the notifications. The chat was like a reminder to her to actually give some attentions on her cell phone. There were two chats that didn’t ask for her whereabouts and they seem to be good candidates she could use for her need. Lee Joon and Choi Seunghyun’s names popped out.

“Oppa, can I call?” Was sent to Joon and Seunghyun.

She waited again. With her eyes still opened wide but now had lost the interest in staring the ceiling and instead she had the interest on staring the small window next to her bed. Her head had already been full with questions again.

She counted on how many times the clock tickled as she stared on the window. The cell phone didn’t bother to make her calmer.

Sixty times… Nothing came.

Ninety times… Her phone glowed in the dark without she touched it. She quickly unlocked it and directly checked the notifications first. It was not like what she expected. Only a guy who had chased after her, she didn’t even know his name although he kept trying to make a conversation with her. Huffed, she deleted the chat.

One hundred and twenty times…  She started to feel that it was useless to actually wait for the reply. They were probably busy and she should try something to actually calm herself instead of doing nothing like this. If she could become better without have to talk to someone then that would what she was going to do.

Although it was not easy for her, she forced herself to get up from the bed. Her body felt like jelly. Her cell phone lay there without any signs of life. Huffed in annoyance, she dragged herself out of the room. Right when she was about to walk to the kitchen, she walked back to her room. Grabbed the cell phone and then headed back to the kitchen.

Half awakened by the smell of tea and half irritated by her lifeless phone, she took the cup to the dining table. Her fingers wrapped around the cup as she tried to remember what made her to be this upset and stressed about her own life. It didn’t work for her, no matter how many times she tried to remember.

Everything was not clear at all. The only thing she could remember was how she just wanted someone she could talk to. It was rare. Talking was not her favorite thing when she felt depressed and when it suddenly became her need, she understood that her mental had come to the lowest level.

Became more annoyed by the sudden thought, she sipped her tea carefully. Her eyes wander around the apartment. The more she looked around, the more she realized that she should fill some good things into the place. Her sipping tea moment was bothered when her phone rang.

Sighed, and had totally forgotten how she had waited for her phone to actually become alive, she picked the call without any interest.

“Yo. Wassup, why did you ask me to call?” Lee Joon’s hoarse voice greeted her once she picked up.

Gasped as she suddenly remembered what she had been waiting for the last an hour, she was unable to say anything. The idea of talking to someone suddenly didn’t interest her anymore. Suddenly she just wanted to hang the phone and get lost somewhere. Weird, she was afraid to talk now when a few hours ago; all she wanted was to have someone she could talk to.

“Ya, Jeon Hyosung!” Joon was sure confident in everything he did because he just yelled on the phone and it made her to avoid the phone. His voice was just too loud, for God’s sake.

“What?” She noticed that her voice had become hoarse after not talking for hours.

“Are you okay?” His voice had softened and she just couldn’t help but to smile on his awareness. “You sound terrible.”

“I’m okay.” It was just a natural lie, she thought. She wondered if he could notice the lie.

“Oh, alright then. What did you want to tell me?”

It was disappointing, really. He didn’t get her lie. She expected him to ask she didn’t lie like how he used to do. But now he didn’t say anything and blindly asked her about things she wanted to save until the last.

“Nothing.” She said, sighing. She surely had expected too much from him. Maybe she should have never told him those ‘I’m okay’ lie so now he would kindly ask her what was wrong. Regrets always came up late, now she realized it.

“Don’t lie.”

 His whisper came stronger than how he meant to tell her. A