March 30, 2020

Hyunseung jolted awake, sweat dripping down his face. He had been in the middle of a nightmare, the details of which were already fading from his memory. All he could remember was the feeling of being trapped, of being unable to escape the darkness that surrounded him.

He tried to calm his racing heart, focusing on the sound of his own breaths as he tried to shake off the residual fear from the dream. It wasn't the first time he had experienced such nightmares since he returned back to Seoul, but it was the first time in a while.

As he lay in bed, he remembered how Hyuna used to sleep peacefully beside him. Her presence used to be such a comfort to him, a reminder that he wasn't alone in the world. He knew that he used to talk to her about anything, that she would be there to listen and support him.

Hyunseung made his way to the living room. He reached for the guitar, feeling the familiar weight of it in his hands. As he began to strum the strings, he allowed the notes to take over, the melody soothing his frazzled nerves.

The words of the song came to him easily, a tribute to the one who had brought light to his darkness, who chased away the nightmares and made him feel like he was walking on clouds. With each verse, he poured his heart into the music, the guitar strings vibrating with the raw emotion he was feeling.

As he finished playing, he felt a sense of peace. The nightmare may have left him shaken, but the song had lifted the weight that had been pressing down on him. He knew that he was ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, as long as he had his beloved Hyuna by his side at least in song.

The next day Hyunseung rode in the car, the familiar streets of Seoul passing by in a blur. The usual streets of Seoul, which used to be bustling with activity, full of people hurrying to and fro in a never-ending stream were now empty due to the COVID-19 pandemic restrictions. The neon lights of the city reflected off the rain-slicked pavement, casting a surreal glow over everything.

Hyunseung watched the passing scene with a detached air, his thoughts consumed by memories of the past. He had traveled this route countless times before, but it was always different, always changing. The buildings rose up around him like sentinels, a testament to the city's ever-evolving nature.

As he neared Cube Entertainment, his heart grew heavy with a sense of melancholy. He opened the great steel doors and saw a familiar face, his previous producer.

"Annyeonghaseyo,” he said as he bowed down.

"Mr. Jang, I don’t think you should be here. The city is locked down. You might be fined”

“That’s alright,” he answered. Hyunseung stared at the picture on the wall. He seemed his usual self, oblivious to the world.

“I am sorry but we still haven't taken that picture down," the producer said.

Hyunseung's gaze followed the producer's pointed finger, and he saw the picture of him and Hyuna on the wall. The picture of Hyunseung and Hyuna was a snapshot of a moment frozen in time. They were standing close together, their heads tilted towards each other as they laughed at some unseen joke. Hyuna's eyes were bright with mirth, her hand resting on Hyunseung's shoulder. Hyunseung, for his part, looked content, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

The picture was framed in sleek black metal, the sharp lines of the frame contrasting with the softness of the image within. It hung on the wall like a reminder of what had once been, a symbol of a time when everything seemed possible. But now, as Hyunseung looked at it, it served as a painful reminder of what he had lost.

A pang of longing shot through his heart as he remembered their past together.

"I see," he replied, his voice tinged with sadness.

"I can have someone take it down for you," the assistant offered, sensing Hyunseung's discomfort.

"No, it's fine. Leave it up," Hyunseung said, his eyes fixed on the picture. "It's a good memory."

The assistant nodded in understanding before excusing himself to attend to other matters.

Alone in the Cube Café, Hyunseung couldn't help but feel the weight of the past pressing down on him. The memories of his time in BEAST, of his collaborations with Hyuna, and the subsequent breakup all swirled together, threatening to drown him in a sea of emotions.

But then, he saw the guitar sitting in the corner, and he knew that music was his salvation. As he strummed the strings and let the melody take over, he felt the sadness lift, replaced by a sense of hope for the future. He sang the melody, “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You”. It was the song he composed last night.

Let’s write about this I often have bad dreams these days

Don't wanna feel bad anymore

Get it out of my head right now

So beautiful beautiful by my side

So beautiful beautiful by my side

Since I met you

All day, I feel like I’m walkin’ on the clouds

The producer then applauded. He must have overheard him. “Bravo! It is beautiful,” he said. “Mr. Jang, I must tell you something important. Mr. Hong Seong Sung is stepping down as Cube’s head tomorrow. They had no intention of working with him. There was a huge meeting last month and he wasn’t getting along with the new majority company. Shin Dae Nam took over and he is resigning too. What I am trying to say is that as beautiful as your song is I don’t think it will get recorded anytime soon or at all.”

Hyunseung placed the guitar down. “This song will be recorded today”, he told him with a serious expression. He took off his face mask and walked straight into the recording studio. Hyunseung sat back on a familiar chair.

The recording studio was a place that Hyunseung knew well. The walls were lined with thick soundproofing foam, blocking out the noise of the outside world and creating a cocoon of sound within. A large mixing board dominated the room, its knobs and sliders glowing softly in the dim light. The room was quiet, save for the hum of the equipment and the rustling of papers as the producer prepared the lyrics for him. As he sat there, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting the familiar surroundings soothe his troubled mind. The recording studio was a place of creation, a place where he could express himself freely and without inhibition. And as he prepared to record the song that he had written for Hyuna, he knew that he was exactly where he needed to be.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Hyuna's heart raced as she prepared for her upcoming photo shoot with Calvin Klein. Despite Dawn's concerns about the pandemic and the safety risks involved, she was determined to make it happen.

"I can't miss this opportunity," she argued. "It's a big break for me, and I can't let it slip away."

Dawn frowned, knowing that he couldn't stop her if she was set on going. As she packed her bags and prepared to leave, he felt a knot form in his stomach. He hated the thought of her being out in the world during such uncertain times, and he knew that her vasovagal illness made her particularly vulnerable.

"Please be careful," he said, kissing her forehead. "And call me as soon as you get there."

Hyuna nodded, feeling the weight of his concern and the pressure of the upcoming shoot. As she arrived at the studio, she tried to push the fears and worries out of her mind, focusing on the task at hand.

But as the shoot progressed and the hours ticked by, her anxiety began to build. She felt a familiar sense of panic creeping in, the fear of separation from Dawn and the uncertainty of the situation overwhelming her.

Suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed her bag and rushed out of the studio, tears streaming down her face. She had to get to Dawn, had to be with him and feel his presence close to her.

As she stumbled out onto the empty street,  her mind was racing and her heart pounding. She walked aimlessly through the empty streets of Seoul, not even sure where she was going.

Before she knew it, she had walked 5 miles in the drizzling rain and found herself standing outside Cube Entertainment's headquarters, her heart racing as she gazed up at the imposing building. She didn't even remember how she had gotten there.

As she stopped to stare at the familiar sign, her mind in a haze, she saw a figure in the distance that she thought was Dawn. Her heart racing with anticipation, she quickened her pace, only to realize that it was Hyunseung. A jolt of mixed emotions rushed through her, and she felt her knees go weak.

Hyuna couldn't believe the rush of feelings that flooded her. Seeing Hyunseung again after all these years brought back memories and emotions that she had buried deep within herself. She didn't know whether to run away or stay and face him.

Hyunseung saw the confusion on her face and walked up to her. "Hyuna, are you okay?" he asked with concern. She struggled to find the words to answer, feeling a mix of guilt, confusion, and longing.

As she stood there, lost in thought, Hyunseung took her hand and pulled her into a warm embrace. Hyuna could feel his heartbeat, and for a moment, all of her worries and fears melted away. She felt safe and protected in his arms, and for the first time in a long time, she didn't feel alone.

 

Author's note: This really happened-- well, the part about CUBE Entertainment changing management is completely true. It is based on this letter, which appeared on Soompi. The CKONE photo shoot is true too. 

 

If you want to find out what happened back when Hyunseung left BEAST then read Beauty Before Beast.