I arrived at Sana’s place 30 minutes later.

            “You’re alone?” I asked her

            “Yeah, just about 5 minutes ago my parents went to buy dinner. You have to stay until dinner okay” She said. Her eyes looks like she's been crying so much.

I nodded and sit beside her “What happened ?”

            “I don’t know. It’s weird. While I wait for dad to pick me up, I saw Wooyoung walking to the subway station with a girl, the same girl that I told you this afternoon. But then they’re holding hands and I don’t know but it feels so hurt.” She’s crying again.

            “Hey, shh don’t cry.” I patted her.

            “I don’t even know him. And moreover, he doesn’t even know me. And I think my feeling for him is just like you know, admiration, but it turns out that maybe I really like Wooyoung. This is so weird.”

            “It's called teenage confusion.” I said, causing her to laugh.

            “Teenage confusion huh? well that's me. a teenager and very confused.” Said Sana and wipe up her tears.

            “Well, I think it’s normal for liking people. Even though you don't know him very well, it’s normal Sana and hey, we’re still in high school, we got a loooong way to go and much more important matters than just crying over boys, right?.”

            “That’s true. But it’s literally so hurt.” Said Sana again.

I hugged her and let her cry for a while. I never experience being heartbroken over a boy, so I don’t know what to actually say about this thing. But looking at Sana, I think she only needs a friend to talk to and be there with her.

            “Choi San. How about San oppa?” She asked me.

            “What’s with him?”

            “I know he’s still at the bus stop when we left school this afternoon.”

            “Oh yeah, he’s playing candy crush.” I said

            “No way, he’s waiting for you stupid.”

            “No, he just into the game so much.”

            “Ugh no. It’s so obvious that he’s waiting for you. I think you have to choose between him or Yeosang.” She said again.

            “Sana, we talked about this”

           “Yeah, and you still unsure about it, you even still not sure how your feelings toward Choi San oppa, do you like him or not, or does your feeling is merely an admiration or something else. You have to figure it out.”

I go quiet for a little bit. What Sana said is actually true.

            “I don’t want you to feel hurt like me right now. It’s . I’m about to greet him when I got the chance and to figure out whether my feeling is only admiration or not, but then it’s too late, he already with someone else, and at that time I also knew that I actually like him. With San oppa already giving his attention to you, you have to figure out that too before it’s too late.”

            “Since when you become so wise?” I said, looking at Sana.

            “Since I got my heart broke for the first time.” She said and giggle.

***

I’m about to leave Sana’s house after dinner with her family, his dad offer me a ride home but I kindly refused.

I go to the nearest bus stop and stop my walk when I saw someone familiar, he looks a lot like my brother and he just coming out from the cafe across the street, his hand is placed on his head, and I saw blood dripped from his head. Shocked I look at the car, and it’s my brother’s.

I try to cross the road, but it’s so crowded, and the car’s already disappeared from the road. I try to call my brother's phone, but of course, he didn’t answer. I call my dad but he’s not answering either. I call Juwon, one of my brother’s employees, and ask if he knows where my brother was heading to this afternoon, but he didn’t know.

            I stop a taxi and head home, maybe he’s there already.

***

He’s not home. It’s weird. From what I know, my brother is a good guy. He’ll never get into a fight and he doesn’t have an enemy. He’s a sociable person.

I try to call my brother again and he didn’t answer. But then I remember that San said to call him if something happened.

I feel nervous to call him, but the image of my brother’s may be beaten up right now keeps appearing in my head. I try to call San but he didn’t answer. I walk down to Jjang, maybe my brother’s there. I met Kimmy and asked her about my brother, but she didn’t even see him today. At Jjang I don’t see him too. I feel panic, I’m so afraid something may happen to him. He didn’t cry the last time he bleed, and that’s because he’s drunk. Now I’m afraid if he got an accident because he drives while he’s drunk.

I walk again try to wait for him in front of the apartment’s gate, and San calls.

            “What happened? Sorry I was in the bathroom, didn’t hear you were calling.”

            “Did my brother say anything to you? Like did he talk about something with you?” I asked, my voice is trembling.

            “What? What do you mean I don’t understand.”

            “When you’re with him, I know that sometimes you guys talk about you know, boys matters, and I just wanted to know, did my brother say anything, like did he have a problem right now, or he was in a fight, or something could you please tell me?”

            “Hani, calm down, what happened? Where are you?”

I start to cry, the feeling is too much. All of the worst scenarios flashed in my head.

            “Where are you? Hani, just answer me.”

I saw my brother’s car make its way to the basement. I run to the elevator and hung up the call. I went to my room and wait for my brother. San calls back.

            “Hani where are you? What happened? Don’t make me worried”

            “I’ll call you later my brother’s home.” I said and hung the phone again.

            “HANIIIIMOON, have you eat? I bought fried chicken.”

I went out from my room. Holding a novel.

            “You cry? Because of a novel again? Oh my God, such a girl.” He said and grab a piece of chicken leg.

He didn’t look sick, he looks like his usual self. But the scar on his head is so real.

            “What happened to your head” I asked

            “I went to my friend’s house and I hit the wall. I wasn’t looking properly.” He smile. What a liar.

I go to the living room, join him.

            “When did San leave? You must be happy I left you two, don’t do anything bad okay, you guys are still in high school.”

            “What the hell?” I look at him. He just sounds like the normal Lee Junsu. Like nothing just happened. If the scar didn’t look so real, I would think that maybe what I saw after I left Sana’s home is not him.

            “This show is so funny” He laughed and walk to grab his 2^nd piece of chicken leg.

I look at him, and holding my novel. I can’t help but get more worried.

The doorbell rings. My brother went to open the door. “Dad must forget the passcode lock, he’s old already.” he mumbled.

            “Ya, San, what are you doing at this hour?”

I peeked and saw San standing in front of my brother. He seems worried.

            “I left my pencil.” He say looking at me.

            “Do you only have one pencil or what?” Said my brother and let him come.

            “What happened to your head?” San asked Junsu Oppa and sit on the couch.

            “Hit a wall.” Replied my brother.

San looks at my puffy eyes, and don’t say anything.

            “San, we have fried chicken, just eat it if you want okay, I’m going to take a bath. You two don’t do something weird. Dad will be home soon.”

I don’t say anything, so does San.

            “Hani, you’re such a crybaby, stop crying because of a novel, it’s not even real.” Said my brother and enter the bathroom.

            “What happened?” San asked. “You can tell me if you want.” He added.

            “Why are you here?” I asked

            “I’m worried.”

I get up and put my novel in my room. I decided to go to the park, and San follows me.