“Can't believe that I haven't resigned. It's been 3 months already.”

 

Seulgi put her coffee down, commented. She then used the fork to cut a small piece of red velvet cake, munching on it.

 

After that little argument in my studio, Seulgi called me on Sunday to have a coffee with her - something we hadn't done for a while, as she had been usually busy with voluntary work at Pyeonghwa at weekend lately. 

 

And thankfully, we didn't even talk about that request nor its consequences.

 

     “Good opportunity might take time.” - I said, wiping the drops of water on the wooden table with a napkin - “As long as you persist.”

 

     “I do. But looking for new job is more difficult than I thought.”

 

     “True. Same to our team to find a replacement for you.”

 

Factos. Nobody in our division covered more aspects than Seulgi, from the major division expertise to the additional tasks which were vital to the team's performance growth but required skills that were totally different from traditional job profiles in our division.

 

But Seulgi did all those too well and grew her organizational ranking along with the development of those tasks to their current state.

 

Therefore, once she left, there would be huge amount of knowledge to be handed over. But it was unlikely that the quality would be assured, simply because initially, Seulgi took those tasks up for no one could be able to deliver. Ironic.

 

     “There will be solution to it.” - She shrugged - “Buying from the market this time, I guess.”

 

     “Same to you. There will be a solution to your challenge.”

 

I repeated my comment but Seulgi didn't agree.

 

     “I have done so many stuff so I'm confused what should be my next step.” - Seulgi admitted sarcastically with a pout. - “It would be great if I could narrow down my range of focus to be only one thing like you, eh?”

 

     “Then you would be bored to death, unnie yah.”

 

I and we both laughed. She wouldn't want to live life like mine anyway. But in between the laughing, I suddenly thought of something.

 

     “But unnie, I think the sessions with Hyojin oppa are meant to help you with this career stuff, right?”

 

Seulgi's fingers stopped moving and she started to bite her inner cheeks.

 

Well, now that's quite confusing to me because she apparently showed her uneasiness. 

 

I thought she had fun with those sessions - and the interactions with Hyojin. Or did my brother turn out to be a not-so-good coach?

 

     “We talked about that”.- She quickly hid the hesitation with a smile. - “And came up with the action, that I would temporarily put aside my distrust of people and go to my networks for ideas of what's next.”

 

     “Easy-peasy for you, eh? Your network is really wide.”

 

     “But it's quite ironic to be honest.”

 

     “Why?”

 

     “I haven't got the nerve to take that action. Even until now.”

 

My eyes went widened. That's quite a surprise to me. Kang Seulgi shouldn't be procrastinating knowing that the action was reasonable. 

 

But she had just admitted going against her usual self. And this would make the whole situation complicated. 

 

One side, she didn't know what to do next after Purple Line. On the other side, she didn't want to make a move to understand the world and how she fit with the opportunities out there.

 

     “Unnie” - I leaned forward, exclaiming. - “That doesn't sound like you at all.”

 

Seulgi's smile widened but I doubted she was just doing something with her lips to resemble a smile.

 

     “I know. . . Disappointing, isn't it?”

 

     “Nah. . . A bit, I guess?” - I pouted, not meaning to comfort her at all as obviously, I was a bit let down. - “It's disappointing that you procrastinated doing something you yourself know its benefit. But. . . Are you too busy for it? It's just a talk anyway.”

 

Seulgi didn't answer me immediately. And that just made me impatient. 

 

     “Any problem with that action plan?” - I looked at her with doubt. - “Have you told Hyojin oppa yet?”

 

Seulgi shook her head. Her unusual smile was off.

 

     “Too afraid to talk to him now.”

 

     “Why? What did he do wrong to you?”

 

     “No Wheein ah.” 

 

Seulgi interjected me and still with her head lowered, she murmured over the loud music played at the café. 

 

     “I guess I might disappoint him.”

 

I looked at Seulgi, feeling speechless. Years ago, I was diagnosed with anxiety for too much overthinking. Overthinking kills your happiness, they said so. 

 

To get over it, I tried hanging out with people who could help me simplify stuff, with intelligence like Seulgi, with empathy and care like Hyojin or with a carefree personality like Hyejin. 

 

For they were all strong and confident people, I had never thought they would be influenced by my overthinking. 

 

But it looked like Seulgi did.

 

○●○

 

I pressed the Play button and mellow melody started to fill the atmosphere in our house. Those background music for FM The 9th Hour always worked when it came to relaxing music.

 

The cackling sound of crockery from the kitchen caught my ears and I craned my neck to see Hyojin started plating the dining table. He had dropped by on another delivery mission requested by his mom. This time it was some home-made dishes suitable for the cold season.

 

Upon being informed of the dishes, Yongsun decided that it was great to throw a feast as it was almost Christmas. “I doubt that everyone would be here on Christmas so we should celebrate it before hand.” She said so and we all knew that she was referring to the annual visit to the US that her fiancé usually made on Christmas.

 

But she made a good point there, we hadn't gathered in a while and what occasion was a better choice than Christmas?

 

Yongsun, Eric and Byulyi were all on their way home. Hyejin was still sleeping after coming home at 3 this morning.

 

That left me and Hyojin to be the only one in the kitchen right now. Therefore, I deemed it was a good chance to bring up Seulgi's case.

 

I walked up to him and sniffed, taking in all the aromatic smell from the food simmering on the hob.

 

     “Oppa, how many more sessions will you have with Seulgi unnie?”

 

  “Just one.” - Hyojin replied quickly, turned around to stir the ingredients in the pan on another hob. - “I asked her if this Friday is OK but she hasn't yet got back to me.”

 

     “That's weird. She's like always gluing to her phone.”

 

     “Yeah. She has been quite hard to reach lately.”- He finally took a break from his cooking job to look at me, asking. - “Too much year-end work or did anything happen?”

 

     “You could've called her to ask.”

 

     “Geez. That's too much for our current status.”

 

     “So what? You're friends anyway.”

    

      “Well, who freaked out about calling Taehyungie a few months ago and asked me to help?”

 

     “We barely knew each other then.” - I glared at him, almost punching him for teasing me if he wasn't cooking then. - “It was like. . . The second day being radio partners. But you and Seulgi. . . Come on  oppa, she's even supporting you at Pyeonghwa.”

 

Hyojin smiled and slightly shook his head to my disappointment. 

 

Urgh, why the heck are you making a trivial action so complicated?

 

     “But you care about what happened to her, right?”

 

Hyojin pondered. His answer to me didn't even go straightforward.

 

     “I feel she is a bit insecure lately.”

 

     “And that” - I questioned right back - “ain't a professional issue, right?”

 

     “Don't ask me yes-no question.”

 

Hyojin warned me bluntly. 

 

But how could I go straight to the point with open-ended questions when it looked like he was also refraining from contacting her? 

 

Just like how she was hesitant in getting in touch with him? 

 

What happened to these two persons?

 

“I knew Jimin took coaching course but how on Earth could I imagine Hyojin-ssi is his learning buddy, much less the one suggesting Jimin to send through a makeup song?” 

 

I recalled the shocking fact Seulgi revealed at the cafe as I studied Hyojin's movements in the kitchen, wondering if he was aware of the mess I put him in by introducing him to Seulgi. 

 

What frustrated Seulgi was not the unexpected connection between her ex and her coach. She was more worried about the image of hers that Jimin had painted in Hyojin's perception through their conversations.

 

I did tell her not to worry. How would it hurt Hyojin if she was illustrated differently through her ex's words? Hyojin wasn't a kid! 

 

And if she was afraid of misunderstanding, go talk to him!

 

But ain't it better if my brother took the initiative, right? 

 

Urgh. I hate to admit this but Taehyung was right about putting aside stuff outside my circle of influence. It's just too tiresome.

 

     “Wheein ah.”

 

I was almost giving up with probing Hyojin when Hyejin called me from the stairs. She was enthusiastically waving hands, signaling me to come. 

 

I walked over to her and we even started bickering despite the very short distance from the kitchen to the stairs.

 

     “Have you done washing up?”

 

     “I'm not stinking, ok?”

 

     “Ya, and change your clothes.”

 

     “Right, right! Later.”

 

     “And why the hell are you keeping my phone?”

 

Hyejin looked up and rolled her eyes, as if trying to suppress the urge to shout to my face. She growled through her gritting teeth.

 

     “Urgh, Jung Wheein, stop ing me if you wanna know this!”

 

     “Wassup?”

 

I stopped in front of Hyejin and found my eyes immediately bulge out of their sockets as she pressed the power button of my phone and the screen was showing a message from Seulgi, short enough to be fully read with the preview notification panel. 

 

“휘인아 효진 씨를 좋아하는 것 같아.”

Wheein ah, I think I like Hyojin.

 

     “I charged your dead phone” - Hyejin whispered to me with an exciting voice - “And guess what's on the screen when it's . Is it about that Hyojin oppa we know?”

 

○●○

 

I sat down on the table, facing Hyojin's back. He was still unaware of the message Seulgi sent me. Hyejin, despite her curiosity of how I would react to that news, had been pushed back upstairs to change her night gown into something more proper for a Christmas lunch with the presence of two guys. 

 

I held on the phone with Seulgi's message, finding me frowning, unsure of what to do with it. I could draw up all kinds of hypothesis from her message. 

 

That she thought avoiding him would give her time to think through if her feeling for Hyojin was truly special. 

 

That freaking out with Jimin's revelation about his connection with Hyojin and later on the truth behind Jimin's song meant she was afraid of a big obstacle to move forward. 

 

And what's crazier, that she hesitated to take action with the career plan because once the coaching ended and she had a new job, she would have less time with Pyeonghwa and with Hyojin. 

 

But no matter what, feelings for Hyojin had been growing in Seulgi. 

 

And given Seulgi once told me that Pyeonghwa was like a safe haven for her when she was demotivated the most, I could say what she needed was not a relationship in the spotlight. 

 

She just needed someone to lean on. 

 

And that should be my brother.

 

     “Oppa you know what” - I spoke up, trying to sound all casually. - “I was also insecure when coming to Pyeonghwa.”

 

     “We were both a bit lost then, weren't we?” - Hyojin replied and I could imagine his smirk everytime we looked back to those younger and vulnerable years of ours.

 

    “Uhm. But back then you were like. . .” - I let out a dry laugh - “. . .a savior to me.”

 

     “My honor.”

 

     “And I guess Seulgi unnie feels the same way. . .” - I cleared my throat. - “At least she's having fun supporting you at Pyeonghwa.”

 

Hyojin turned off the hob and took out the soup pot. He had finished cooking and I assumed what's next was to continue waiting for the others to arrive. 

 

Taking off the apron and threw it over his left shoulder, Hyojin also sat down across me, asking.

 

     “As far as I remember, this is the first time we've talked about this kind if personal stuff, right? Why are you suddenly so interested?”

 

     “Er. . . Nope” - I coughed. - “I'm just pointing out the truth. Ain't it an issue?”

 

     Hyojin smiled coyly and ran his fingers through his black hair. Then all of the sudden, he sighed, head slightly shaking with a hint of disappointment.

 

     “What's wrong oppa?” 

 

     “I'm confused of myself, Pup ah.”

 

     “Do you want to share or. . .”

 

     “If I care . . .” - He cut my words but then took a few seconds to ponder if he should go on. That almost made me stop breathing to wait for him. “. . . But for some reasons, I can't show it. Does it make me a bad guy?”

 

I wasn't sure if the reason was Jimin - his coaching buddy who turned out to be Seulgi's ex or me - his close sister who friendzoned him even before confirming if we should be something more. But regardless of reason, Hyojin obviously needed an affirmation.

 

That Seulgi needed him.

 

And perhaps, I could intervene once more to help.

 

     “Oppa” - I unlocked my phone, the screen with Seulgi's message went on as I pushed the phone towards Hyojin. - “I think you should see this before making a conclusion.”