3 years ago...

Chung Ang University Homecoming festival.

I came there as an alumnus along with Hyejin, who had gone to the same school as me ever since grade 6. We had an amazing night, especially when we got all soaked in the middle of an emotional performance due to a sudden downpour. “It's gonna rain and you have two choices. Find a shelter or find the ones you loved and tell them you love them.” That was what the band's lead vocal said as the first raindrops fell. And all I could see after that, when we were standing and cheering under the heavy rain, was students exchanging hugs with their friends and even kisses with their sweethearts. 

But if there was anything that would pop up in my mind everytime I recalled this memory, it was the two students who happened to stand next to us in the crowd. The girl suddenly planted a kiss on the boy cheek and told him if being drunk meant she could kiss him like this, she would totally love to be drunk. Aw! How cheesy! But the boy then walked away after that so-called confession. I had no idea if they became each other's significant half later on but it was a sweet moment to witness. Something that neither I nor Hyejin had ever experienced.

Therefore, when the familiar notes of that song was played and miraculously, rain started to fall, I couldn't help expecting something special to happen.

I'm telling you, I softly whisper

Tonight

You're my angel

“It's raining.” - Taehyung spoke loudly to me as well as Juyeon and Hongsol when the crowd got noisier for rain came. Some even left the field to find shelter. - “Shouldn't we find a place to hide?”

I wanted to stay. Getting wet wasn't a pleasure but if going here meant enjoying as much as I could, why finding a shelter and missing the performance? 

“I'll stay.” I said with determination.

“We'll stay, too.” 

Juyeon declared and threw me a pack of raincoat with a grin. He and Hongsol had already had raincoat on and were ready to rock through the heavy rain. 

“It's a good thing that Juyeon oppa looked into the weather forecast this morning.” - Hongsol beamed - “We couldn't waste our night doing nothing, right unnie?”

“You have a point there, Hongsol ah.”

I smiled at Hongsol and wear the raincoat. Next to me, Taehyung also put his on without a word. It was three out of four votes to stay so it might not be a good thing for him to be the only one to leave the field. Up on the stage, the band lead vocal spoke the familiar words I had heard 3 years ago, with a slight adjustment.

“People. It's raining now and you have two choices. Find a shelter or stay here with your beloved, enjoy this stage to the fullest with them because the only way you could say I love you to them is how you treasure each moment together.”

Aw. This is such an upgrade in cheesiness! But his cheesy line got a lot of applause and whistles from the audiences who decided to stay, including us. And that just gave the band more and more energy to burn the stage with their raw yet emotional music while we were covered in a white curtain of rainfall.

Wherever you are, I always make you smile

Wherever you are, I'm always by your side

Whatever you say, you're always on my mind

I promise you “forever” right now

We were quickly lured into the performance. With smiling faces and twinkling eyes, we toasted, sang along, held hands and danced together under the rain. If there was recording of this moment, I bet it should be videotaped in slow motion, zooming in each of our genuine smile and our warm gaze to the others. In a way, I think this was also another example of happiness. Not the warm feeling between family members like I had at Eric's proposal party. It was the cool, fresh feeling - just like the rain we were standing under - that rush through my heart, breaking down all the guards and defenses that had been there for a long time so that I could finally let loose myself with people who were once deemed outside my comfort zone. 

To us the day we met is the day

We should celebrate the most

Then the day called “today” is the day

We should cherish the second most

Despite of the rain, fireworks was launched in accordance with the agenda, adding an even thicker layer of smoke and making the scene more mystical. I heard myself hooting and exclaiming.

“Ahhhh! So beautiful!”

Only to get startled a second later as Taehyung voice echoed in my ears, sounding as much joyful as I did.

“You're right. This is just amazing!”

I turned to him. He was totally wet, his hair was no longer fluffy, his bangs stuck on the forehead bandana and his lips got pale. But those pale lips were curving up into a big, charming smile as he returned my look with a warm gaze.

“Thank you, Taehyung-ssi” - I told him merrily, feeling like in a dejavu where I once again got passively excited under the crowd effect. - “Thanks for inviting me here.”

“Thank you, too.” - His smile brightened even more. - “If you hadn't agreed to join, I wouldn't be experiencing this.”

“So you're thanking me for the first time, eh?”

“There'll be other first time's between us.”

“What?” - I laughed. “You must be drunk, Taehyung-ssi.”

Oh . I sounded like the boy from 3 years ago. Except for the part that Taehyung, with his alcohol allergy, would never get drunk.

“I do think so.”

Taehyung grinned. And as he raised his drink up to me, my mouth went agape to see he was holding a beer. I quickly withdrew my joke, urging him.

“No way, Taehyung-ssi. I'm just joking. It's not good for you to get drunk under the rain like this.”

“If getting drunk means being able to get cheesy with you. . .” - He opened up his arms and shrugged. - “I'd love to be drunk.”

I punched his arm. That's enough cheesiness to handle tonight. And snatching the beer from his grip, I told him before taking a long sip of it.

“You're not allowed to be drunk.” - I crushed the now empty tin can in my hand- “No one will carry you back to the tent.”

“You're being hasty, Wheein-ssi. Drinking my stuff again.”

“This time is for your good.” 

I sniffed and he cracked up. We would continue bickering over a beer can like this, had Taehyung not been shoved by some other people passing by. He lost his balance and I, with the swiftest movement I could make, grab him by his arms so that he wouldn't trip. But I didn't even have time to curse those careless ones as someone from that group stopped behind us and asked doubtfully.

“Urgh! Is that you Lee Juyeon?”

We turned around. A long blonde hair girl, with her ripped denim jacket all soaked, was the one that asked. She stood confidently in front of Juyeon, who had confusion and bewilderment written clearly on his face. Juyeon stuttered.

“Bo. . . Bona ah?”

“Wow. Incredible.” - That girl Bona continued the talk, showing no care to the attention from me, Taehyung and of course, Hongsol. - “Can't believe that of all the places we finally meet here. It's been some time right?”

“Uh. . . Yeah. Me too.”

Juyeon gulped and he couldn't hide his embarrassment looking at us, as if he didn't want us to witness such conversation. Yet Taehyung decided to speak up.

“Juyeon ah, is it alright?” 

Both Juyeon and Hongsol got startled with Taehyung's intervention. And that also drew the attention from the girl.

“Oh, so Lee Juyeon is not here by himself.” - She exclaimed sarcastically, glancing at me and Hongsol. - “I heard you've got a new girlfriend. Is she here?”

“Nope.” - Juyeon cut her off. - “They are my colleagues.”

“Don't you bother a little introduction? Even though I am your ex now, we might bump into each other in the labour market, yeah? You know I work in talent acquisition field. . .”

Juyeon sighed. Then with the most half-hearted gestures he had ever made, Juyeon pointed to us and briefly introduced.

“These are my colleagues. Taehyung hyung, Wheein noona and. . . Hongsol. And guys, this is my friend, Bona.”

“Ex-girlfriend” - Bona smirked - “To be exact.”

“Really. . . OUCH!”

That was Taehyung, unable to keep his mouth shut. I had to secretly pinch the back of his arm to stop him but it was too late.

“That ain't something you should boast about.” - Juyeon frowned. Then glancing at us, he slightly nodded. - “Hyung, noona, I gotta go for a while.”

Then Juyeon tugged her hand and they quickly furthered into the crowd, perhaps for a private talk. 

The three of us stood still, almost frozen, despite the energetic people dancing around. My brows knitted as I exchanged a brief look with Taehyung and mouthed to him. “What to do now?”. He just shrugged, appearing all clueless. And unconsciously, we both turned our attention to Hongsol, who might be struck the most by this incident. In a total contrast to the blasting music and hyped crowd, Hongsol was deadly silent on the way back to the camping area. As if she had switched on the silent mode she rarely used the moment Juyeon confirmed they were just colleagues. Sad but true. She wasn't even his colleague, much less being in a position to make a face about the fact that we had just bumped into his self-acclaimed ex.

We decided to leave the main stage, although the performance had just been halfway through. The encounter with Bona had sunk the mood unexpectedly. On the way back to the camping area, we didn't talk, except for a few failed attempts to lift the mood from Taehyung, joking about me getting frightened at him drinking a beer. I did try to get along with his jokes, whining that he smelled alcohol even though he only took some sips. Much as we could, Hongsol only did something with her lips that resembled an uninterested smile. She still sat with us and ate up her portion of porridge that Taehyung heated up. Yet she looked as if being out all energy and ended up excusing to go to bed early as though she might be still wide awake.

Not wanting to disrupt Hongsol's privacy, I stayed outside with Taehyung at the bonfire he had made. Unlike minutes ago, he was quietly feeding small pieces of wood to the fire that was casting orange light and making soft cackling noise. I wrapped myself in the big-sized flannel scarf and scrolled through my SNS newsfeed. The photo we took earlier this morning had been posted to Juyeon's account and attracted lots of engagements from our colleagues. But I doubted that after tonight, those smiley faces would still be there, especially between the two juniors.

The notification alerted a new update from my close friends network. Seulgi had just posted something. Quickly tapping the notification banner to be redirected to the post, I found my eyes widened in disbelief. 

***

“Oppa, seriously. . . why didn't you tell me the exhibition would be tomorrow?”

I almost shouted to the phone as Hyojin picked up my call. I sounded angry. Obviously. The exhibition was in no way a casual one. It would be the occasion to showcase every effort by Pyeonghwa management team to potential sponsors and investors, which was expected to obtain more investment for the center. Therefore, over the last few weeks, I had voluntarily supported the preparation by recording guiding videos in sign languages, validating the selected photos to be exhibited and even doing rehearsals for Hyojin's pitching at the exhibition.

How could I keep myself calm when I had just discovered that such significant event would take place tomorrow? And not that Hyojin informed me himself, I only got to know via Seulgi's new social media post.

“There's no big deal, Pup.” - Hyojin's voice melted softly into my ears. - “I can handle it.”

“But it's important to you.” - I insisted - “And I am supposed to see the result of my effort, too.”

“I will take a lot of photos for you. It looks amazing now.” - I heard the sounds of crockery from his side. He must be having a late meal. “Don't worry. What you should do is enjoying quality time there.”

“Nope oppa.” - I whined at him, kicking the dirt at my boots. -“You have told me like. . . a million time that this is crucial and you also have a pitch to make. I at least could help you running errands.”

“I don't want to make it hard for you Pup ah.” - Hyojin still patiently talked me in giving up any possible crazy idea from me. As if I knew what I wanted to do then. - “And Seulgi-ssi will be here to help. You could say she's your representative. . .”

Seulgi? Oh right, I almost forgot. The person that indirectly informed me of the exhibition time. For the first time since she took up cooking classes at Pyeonghwa, she uploaded a photo with the class, checked in at Pyeonghwa and carefully tagged Hyojin in a concisely written caption. “There are tons of way to give back to society and add values to people but I bet conveying the culinary art via sign language is the most beautiful thing that I am proud to be part of. Thank you Pyeonghwa Center for the Disabled for this amazing experience. Thank you Kim Hyojin manager-nim for a sign language crash course and I wish you all the best at the exhibition tomorrow.” 

Seulgi seldom dedicated an update to a single person but here she had just done it for Hyojin. Plus she would come to the exhibition to help him. All of the sudden, I felt a strange mix of emotions surging through me. I couldn't tell it apart but I did sense jealousy. This time it was clearer than when I got to see the photo of Hyojin and Seulgi baking together. 

Did Hyojin think that since Seulgi had grown closer to him, he didn't need me anymore?

“Oh yes Seulgi unnie. . . ” - I said bitterly - “So you don't need me anymore, do you?”

Oh shut up, Jung Wheein. Of all the people, you shouldn't think bad of Kim Hyojin. MUST NOT. I was the one to facilitate their connection after all. He was just so kind to help me out despite his busy schedule. I simply had no right to blame him for. . .literally, anything.

“I didn't mean that Wheein ah.” - Hyojin turned serious. It was notified by his addressing me as Wheein instead of Pup. - “You have helped me so much to prepare for the exhibition already, I'm thankful for that. But it's not common that you go camping with someone not me or your sisters. If you could enjoy it fully, I'd be even happier.”

I sighed. I was hiding behind a tree in order not to disturb Taehyung with this private call. Yet I was afraid I had raised my voice too many times during the last few minutes. “Be sweet to Hyojin, ok?”. Suddenly those words from Yongsun crossed my head. Ok, I will.

“Ok, ok oppa. I got your point. But I will try to get home early tomorrow. What time will it close?” 

“5PM. Don't rush, ok? I warn you.”

“Right, I know. Take care oppa. I'm hanging up.”

“Ok. See you later. And have fun.”

“Geez. No need to remind.”

I ended the call and my phone screen went back to the photo Seulgi posted. In such an outfit that she would usually deem sloppy, Seulgi was smiling brightly next to Hyojin. I was not sure if anyone had the same idea but they did look cute together. Even their hair color with red hue matched. Hyojin might be a bit short but never mind, Seulgi wasn't a big fan of high-heels. And most important, the way she appeared in the photo gave me a feeling that Seulgi no longer cared about her looking professional enough at Pyeonghwa. Something that was rarely seen in her.

I could have spent the next minutes trying to persuade myself into the so-called “let's be happy for Seulgi and Hyojin” mood but then a question crossed my mind. Why so? As if I had ever got jealous of Hyojin's exes when we were much closer than now. And as if Hyojin had ever intended to push me away. So why talking myself into locking up all those naughty thoughts and feelings for Seulgi?

Whatever. I would still be at the exhibition on time tomorrow though.