There are times you want to relive. To grab ahold of, keep close to your heart, and never let go. These are the times that bring little smiles to your face every day as you recall the joy of the moment. These cherished moments, where it feels like nothing in the world could ever bring you down, are the times that you live for.

As Eunji gazed at the hundreds of fans cheering and waving their lightsticks, she knew that this moment would be one of those cherished memories. Seeing the smiling faces of those that had supported her and the rest of her Apink members since their debut felt surreal―it always did. Even though this was their fifth solo concert as a group, that effect never diminished. Those pink waves that always greeted her whenever she stepped onstage never failed to fill her with emotion and neverending pride, both in their fans and how far Apink had come. Eunji was sure that all of her other members felt the same. 

Eunji was known to be the hardest of her members to make cry, and yet here she was, tears lining her cheeks as she waved goodbye to their fans. She buried her face into her hands to hide her undoubtedly hideous bawling face. Amid her sobs, she felt a slim arm wrap around her waist and pull her closer into a comforting embrace. Eunji didn’t have to lift her face to know that it was Chorong, their leader, who had leaned her head on Eunji’s shoulder and started patting her calmly.

She also didn’t have to lift her face to know that Chorong was laughing at her. The older woman’s shoulders were shaking slightly, and Eunji could hear her soft laughs. “You’re very ugly when you cry,” Chorong said. 

When the lift finished lowering them below the stage and their fans’ cheerings reduced to a dull roaring that was still like music to Eunji’s ears, Eunji finally dropped her hands to make a face at Chorong. Still, Chorong didn’t remove her comforting arm around Eunji. 

“At least I’m not as ugly as Bbom-ah,” Eunji replied.

Next to her, Bomi was sobbing as if she would never see their fans again. 

Despite her own tears streaming down her face, Eunji laughed at her member, “How ugly.”

Bomi attempted to glare back at her, but with her puffy eyes and red cheeks, she looked more like a pouting baby than an intimidating woman. “You’re crying too!”

“You cried first!” Eunji shot back. A stray tear ran down Bomi’s cheek, and Eunji reached over to swipe it away with her finger.

“It’s always Bomi-unnie that cries first,” Hayoung chimed in with her equally puffy eyes. “Whenever she cries, it always makes us cry.” 

“It’s normal for me to cry,” Bomi sniffed, wiping her wet cheeks. “But look at Eunji! Our Pandas made the Jeong Eunji cry!” 

Namjoo walked up beside them. She also had red, puffy eyes. “I think it’s an even bigger miracle that they made Naeun cry.”

All attention turned to Naeun, who was busy dabbing a tissue at her wet cheeks. She paused and stared back at them, but before she could say anything, Chorong said, “Come on everyone. We have to wrap up here.” She stepped off the lift, finally releasing Eunji’s waist, then added, “The faster we wrap up, the faster we get to eat.”

Namjoo immediately quirked up and practically skipped after Chorong, Hayoung and Naeun in tow.

“Chorong-unnie’s acting as though she didn’t also have waterfalls flowing down her face earlier,” Bomi murmured, then followed the others off the lift.

Wiping her own tears, Eunji grinned and followed her other members.

“One more glass, please!” Eunji called, holding up her empty glass of beer. They were all seated around a low table with a grill sitting in the middle. Scents of grilled meat and alcohol filled the room that they had reserved for their celebratory dinner. The Plan A staff members took up the other tables in the small, cozy room. Namjoo had chosen the restaurant, of course, and, like all of her other restaurant suggestions, they were not disappointed with the quality of the food and service. 

“Eunji-ah, how many glasses have you had already?” Chorong asked, her voice bordering motherly concern.

Eunji gave the leader a toothy smile. “This will be my fourth.” 

“Eunji-unnie can hold her alcohol,” Namjoo said. “Unlike this Unnie over here.” She gestured to Bomi, whose face this time was not red because she had just cried, but because she'd had two glasses of beer. 

“I’m fi...ne!” Bomi insisted.

Naeun, seated next to her, frowned. “You’re slurring your words, Unnie.”

“And you look like a tomato,” Hayoung laughed. 

“I’m only a little bit drunk right now,” the second oldest pouted. “And you’re all red!”

Eunji looked around the table cluttered with dirty plates and scraps of leftover food. Indeed, they were all red-faced from the alcohol, though whereas the other members’ cheeks were slightly pink, Bomi’s were, as Hayoung had said, as red as a tomato. 

“Don’t drink too much, Bomi-ah,” Chorong warned. “Since all the other members have moved out, I’d be stuck taking care of you.” 

“You already take care of me anyway. You take care of all of us.” Drunkenly, Bomi shot a thumbs-up at Chorong, who was smiling with amusement. “You really are the best leader in the world, Unnie. I really love you for that, you know?”

“She must be really drunk,” Chorong laughed and took a sip from her glass. 

Though with considerable difficulty, Bomi continued,“I think it’s safe to say that all of us here agree that you put in the most effort in making Apink the successful group that it is.” 

Their leader’s cheeks began to redden more than they already were.

“Bomi-unnie’s not just saying this because she’s drunk,” Namjoo said. “We all recognize the hard work that you put in, and we really appreciate it. This concert would not have happened without you.”

“Apink would not have happened without you, Unnie,” said Naeun. “You’re always watching over us like a mom, and you’re always there to control us when we get too wild.”

“Apink would not have happened without all of you,” Chorong pointed out. “But thank you.” She turned to address the staff members too. “All of you.”

“I’m always too embarrassed to say this,” Hayoung smiled shyly, “but I will always be grateful for all of you guys. I really do love you all.” 

“Me too!” Bomi raised an empty glass, although Eunji didn’t know if Bomi knew that it was empty. “Really, I love you all. Let’s have a toast to Chorong-unnie and Plan A!” 

Chorong wrapped her sweater tighter around her body and groaned with her bright red cheeks, “This is so embarrassing.”

Eunji chuckled and leaned her head on Chorong’s shoulder. They knew that they all loved each other, but they never really said it. They usually just expressed it with actions, like doing small favors without being asked or giving advice. Heartfelt moments like this one were hard to come by, and though Eunji cherished them whenever they came around, she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as well. 

“I told you, Unnie, I’m fine! I sobered up a while ago,” Bomi told Chorong as they walked along the sidewalk. 

It was about an hour after they had finished dinner, and all the members were taking a stroll around the neighborhood, enjoying the fresh air and new freedom. Now that their concert was over, they were free to do whatever they wanted for a while. As much as Eunji loved her job and their staff members, she greatly appreciated the break.

The night was beautiful. Above them, the stars splashed across the sky like droplets of glittering paint, and the moon, bright and full, watched over the six women like a luminous eye. They were all wrapped in scarves and thick parkas to protect themselves from the biting cold, but other than that, they were completely at ease. It was blissfully quiet, save for their talking.

“Alright, alright,” Chorong replied. “I’m just making sure that I won’t have to deal with your drunk self at home.”

“That sounds awful,” Eunji said, puffs of white huffing out with each word. The night of their first concert, when they all still lived together, Eunji had taken care of Bomi. That was the night when they had all learned that Bomi could not handle her alcohol well, and that was also the night that Eunji vowed never to let any of the members drink past their limit. She never wanted to clean up their vomit ever again. 

“It does,” agreed Chorong. “And if it were to happen, you’d be helping me clean up.”

Eunji stuck out a playful tongue at her leader. “I did my part already. It’s your turn.” 

“If I recall correctly, you were all saying earlier that I’ve put in the most effort in our work.”

“The unnie-line is always bickering, huh?” Namjoo joked behind them. “It’s a good thing we maknaes aren’t like that.” Hayoung and Naeun snickered quietly into their warm scarves.

“Nevermind, Eunji-ah. You’re excused.” Chorong looked back at Namjoo, Hayoung, and Naeun. “The maknaes have volunteered to take care of our drunk Bomi.”

Hayoung and Naeun shouted indignantly, “What?” at the same time as Bomi shouted, “I am not drunk!”

“Hey, there’s a really good bingsu place across the street!” Namjoo exclaimed, quickly changing the topic. 

Hayoung’s eyes lit up at the mention of bingsu. “Bingsu!”

“Did we not just eat?” Naeun asked.

“That was an hour ago,” retorted Namjoo.

“You know Apink can never resist bingsu,” Hayoung sided with Namjoo. Eunji had to give her that one; if they were all stuck on a stranded island and could only eat one thing, they would all be divided on dakbal or bingsu. 

Chorong glanced at the quaint little bingsu shop across the street. It was a small corner shop with glimmering Christmas lights weaving across its roof, even though Christmas was still over a month away. Warm, welcoming decorations of adorable snowmen and reindeers adorned its windows. Chorong grinned. “Alright, bingsu on Namjoo, everyone!”

“Hey! I never said that!” Namjoo cried, but the others were already making their way toward the shop. 

With Bomi in the lead and Namjoo trailing behind and urging to play rock-paper-scissors to determine who was paying, they all began crossing the street. 

It all happened too fast. Eunji never saw the car coming, only a flash of black. 

One second they were all laughing. The next, Chorong was screaming and running for Bomi.

Eunji never saw the car coming, but Chorong did. 

“BBOM-AH!” yelled Chorong, quickly surging forward. For a second, Eunji was confused and didn’t know why Chorong had screamed with so much panic. 

It was only when Chorong’s body crumpled against the speeding car that Eunji realized what had happened. 

For a moment, Eunji and the others remained frozen, trying to make sense of the situation. A car had run a red light and had not seen the six women crossing the street. The car would have hit Bomi had Chorong not pushed her out of the way. And Chorong...Chorong was lying on the pavement, completely still, a pool of blood slowly growing underneath her body.

Then the screaming started. Or at least that’s when it seemed like it did. All the sounds around Eunji sounded muffled, and there was an odd ringing in her ears. But her members’ mouths were open and moving, and their eyes were wide with disbelief, shock, and panic, so they had to have been screaming. Time seemed to stop around Eunji as she saw her members begin to hurry to their fallen leader in slow-motion. 

 Bomi scrambled over on her knees toward their leader’s body, screaming and sobbing at the same time as she desperately shook their leader’s body. The other members had fallen to their knees and were bent over Chorong, shouting her name over and over again. Naeun...even Naeun, who had always struggled with expressing how she felt, was screaming with eyes full of terror. Eunji had never seen Naeun so terrified.

Eunji couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t believe what had just happened. As she stared at the pool of blood growing bigger and bigger and at her members crying and begging for Chorong to open her eyes, Eunji felt the world beneath her begin to crumble. 

Her hands were weak and her fingers were numb, but she still managed to fumble for her phone and call for an ambulance. Then she too dropped to her knees beside Chorong. Bomi was holding Chorong’s head in her lap, her frantic tears dripping onto their leader’s face. She was crying the loudest. With shaking hands, Hayoung was searching Chorong’s body for the source of blood, all while shouting for Chorong to stay with them. Namjoo and Naeun were holding their leader’s hands tightly, Namjoo on her right and Naeun on her left, not minding that their own hands and clothes were becoming stained with blood. 

Eunji didn’t know what to do―what could they do? Neither of them had enough knowledge about how to save someone’s life. So she did the only thing she could do: she joined her members in crying and trying to get Chorong to open her eyes. 

But she didn’t. Her eyelids fluttered, but that was it. The pool of blood only grew.

Naeun’s words from dinner suddenly flashed through Eunji’s mind: Apink would not have happened without you, Unnie. 

Chorong was the pillar of Apink; there would be no Apink without her. 

Yes, there are times in life that you want to cherish and hold onto forever. Eunji was so sure that that night would be one of them. She had wanted it to never end. 

But as she watched Chorong’s breathing become weaker and weaker, all she ever wanted was for the nightmare to be over.