Returning to work that morning felt like walking on eggshells. Ever since his last meeting with Hyerim where he learned of ‘K’ and not knowing his motives, Sung Gyu couldn’t shake off the paranoia it entailed. Myriad times, he’d felt he was being watched, myriad times he’d imagined his car was being followed and looked behind him on his way to work. The road, of course, was empty, save for his guards vehicle, and work continued as usual with nothing amiss. Towards evening, however, his anxiety grew worse, making him feel that something wasn’t right. He kept thinking, even as he sat in meetings with the chief minister, even as he played with his meal during lunch, that there was something strange about the whole apartment raiding. He was certain that there was nothing from his previous office in his apartment, he was sure he’d gotten rid of them as soon as he’d left the court. It was probably what every ex-judge who left the court would do. Nobody would keep their old cases hoarding about.

And Ryu Wonho, more than anybody else, knew this too. So why would he, of all the people, would assume that Sung Gyu would have anything from the Belle-Vie case lying around?

The more he thought of it, the more wrong it felt. 

On the other hand, if K was notorious for information fraud and cyber crime, why would he be sent to raid his apartment? Couldn’t searching for a stack of two hundred odd papers be done by just about anyone? Why would such a measly task require a criminal fraud mastermind?

That evening, as soon as he returned from work, he decided to confide in Hyerim about his doubts. They haven’t had anymore investigation related meetings the whole day, and Woohyun had sent a message that he would be on tracing the whereabouts of the recording and was in a sound studio. He couldn’t talk about his suspicions to Woohyun just yet, as they  were yet to officially discuss the progression of the case. Perhaps, along with Hyerim he would be able to dig more into the case that an official investigation probably wouldn’t reveal.

However, he had just arrived at the apartment and was planning to go to Hyerim’s before his own when he found an unexpected guest standing by his doorway. If it was any other day, he wouldn’t have found it surprising. But now things were different, their lives were different, everything has changed in a matter of days; and that included the way Sung Gyu felt as well. No longer did he feel anger or resentment upon seeing her. He felt guilt, he felt regret. Sung Gyu had to take a minute to gather himself, standing five feet away and out in the shadows until she saw him in the dark.

“Sung Gyu” Yeri called him.

“What are you doing here?” He sighed as he finally collected himself and walked forth towards his house.

“I had something important to discuss” She replied without meeting his eyes.

“Could have done over the phone” He said as he unlocked the door.

“And I have somethings to collect from your place as well”

He said nothing as he allowed her inside.

Nothing much has changed since the last time that they were in this house together, only that, the last time they were still married and now, they were no more. He was quiet as he rid himself off his jacket and she too wandered about the hall, talking to the cat who wouldn’t even respond. She wordlessly picked up some clothes he had haphazardly left in the corridor and a bunch of papers that had fallen off the stool.

“Did you wait long?” He asked her just to fill in the quietness. For some reason, Sung Gyu just felt the need to talk.

“Not long” Yeri shrugged.

“You could have let yourself in”

Yeri glanced at him and shook her head. “That wouldn’t have felt right”

He didn’t respond. Instead, he headed over to the living room, offered her a glass of water as she probably couldn’t have anything else that he had in his fridge right now and settled down on the plush sofa. He despised it how he noticed the way she had changed now under brighter light. The roundness of her face, that soft light in her eyes, how she’d gained weight and appeared just...prettier…

“What did you have to talk about?” He asked and glanced down at his watch in emphasis. He knew he shouldn’t be doing that. She was pregnant. He shouldn’t be too eager to get her out of the house. 

But he was, and he let it show, as he couldn’t handle the weight in his heart. “I don’t have a lot of time”

Yeri appeared disconcerted by his response. She shifted in her seat, set down the glass on a coaster that she’d bought from a christmas sale. Her face was stern. For once she looked like the Yeri that he’d always known.

“I had to tell mum about...about the thing with Belle Vie”

He had to allow a second to let that information sink in. 

“Why?” He muttered, feeling his stomach churn inside. 

He hadn’t thought of all the possibilities when he’d told her about what happened. He didn’t imagine that she’d tell her parents, who, in return, would set it out like a fire without a doubt. 

“So we can help you,” She simply replied. But he doubted if that was bound to happen. 

There were lots of things that Yeri’s parents could do, but he was certain none of them would be with the real intention of helping him. Sung Gyu took a deep breath, leaned forward and buried his face in both his hands. He was shaking. He had kept it from her for a very good reason, and he’d kept it from his family for a very good reason. He shouldn’t have let his emotions win over last night. He shouldn't have told her.

“Mum knows the judge who was handling the case. She said maybe she could look into it” Yeri continued.

“And how would that help?” He asked her, his voice low, a tone that he didn’t imagine he could make. 

“If you’re being investigated for it, then he would be too, right?”

Sung Gyu took a deep breath and continued to cover his face for even longer. There was no way that Ryu Wonho knowing the truth would help. The chances were that he already knew, given that he was probably the one who sent someone into his apartment in the first place. Hell, he was probably even the person who pulled it out from the ashes to the surface. He could even be the person who got him into this mess after all. There was no point explaining any of this to Yeri, especially not knowing the truth behind what happened. But what Sung Gyu did know was that Yeri must have already burnt the house down by now. 

“Mum said that you shouldn’t have to go to trial. She’d talk to that judge and see if you could be kept out of it”

He couldn’t keep listening to her jargon any longer without having his anger reaching the red light. The last thing he wanted right now was fighting with her, only as he simply hadn’t the energy to. Yeri was smart, but not smart enough to understand right and wrong that her parents did. Being the only child she’d always hung onto the belief that they always knew better and they always did the right thing. It was easy for her mother to convince her into anything, even if it was to make her commit a crime. Her parents, on the other hand were sly and crafty and knew all the right buttons to push when convincing others. It wouldn’t be difficult to get Yeri into doing this. And as far as he was concerned, they had no interest in helping him out of it. If anything, they’d put in more hay and make the fire bigger and then appear as his saving grace to give their daughter a reason, in the society’s eyes, to have left him.

And Sung Gyu had fallen into their trap once. He wasn’t about to fall into it yet again. 

“Yeri” He interrupted her along with a deep, tired breath. When he retrieved his hands, he could see her gazing at him, the same concerned gaze that he had seen myriad times and was accustomed to. Yeri seemed to have so many faces, a few of which he had the opportunity to witness. And this  look right now was a rare one out of them all.

“Please…” He told her pleadingly. “I can take care of it myself...so just forget it”

“Sung Gyu I-,” 

“Don’t” He held up both his palms, sitting back straight. No more of being wooed into their schemes again, for the last time he did had brought him here.  “Just forget that I ever told you this, okay?” He told her in a final note and climbed up on his feet. He wanted her to leave, leave him alone. But he couldn’t possibly tell her that. He couldn’t tell that to a pregnant woman. Sung gyu wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. Perhaps it was all the lost chances, the what ifs and could have beens. No matter how much he’d hurt Yeri in the past, this new Yeri wasn’t one that he could bring himself to hurt.

“But Sung gyu, we just want to help” She called back, climbing up on her feet. She wasn’t about to give up herself. When he made his way to the kitchen, she followed after him. “We understand how difficult it must be for you, and you don’t deserve it...you didn’t do any wrong”

Sung Gyu wordlessly opened the fridge, grabbed a can of beer and cracked it open. For a moment the only sound in the entire house was the airy whizz of the bubbling beer in his hand.

“Look” Sung gyu finally said as he leaned against the kitchen cabinet. “It’s not that I haven’t done any wrong. I have, and there’s solid proof. What you’re suggesting is the easy way out, just like I’ve given a nasty abusive old man a bunch of years ago, and look where it has brought me? So thank you, I’ll take it from here”

Sung Gyu sincerely hadn’t planned on telling her any of that, but they did come out, naturally as ever, as if it had always been in the back of his mind.

Yeri stared at him, mouth agape and shook her head, almost in disbelief. “Easy way out? We’re just trying to help you, Sung Gyu, because, no matter what happened between us, we still care about you”

Sung Gyu couldn’t help but roll his eyes. The same person who couldn’t even recall what they’ve gotten him into all those years ago have now come willing to help. Strangely, at that point, he couldn’t possibly keep himself from being completely and brutally honest with her. He took a long sip of his beer and gave her what he expected to be a condescending smile. “I don’t know about you, Yeri, but if your parents cared enough about me, they wouldn’t have gotten me into this the first place”

She seemed to be rendered speechless for a second. “Well...they-they didn’t know, okay? All they wanted was to help a friend and-,”

“They obviously knew that something like this would have consequences, Yeri, it’s not just bailing out a criminal, its a offender”

A great big sigh escaped her lips, and he noticed how her hand almost naturally  lifted to her stomach as if she searched for reassurance there, as if it was her insurance, her safe place. She closed her eyes, her lower lip trembling, and Sung Gyu remained quiet. He felt like he’d said all he wanted to say. 

“Then what about you?” Yeri asked him in the end, her voice cutting into the quiet as she met his eyes. “What about you, Sung Gyu? You should have known the consequences when you’d taken it up too. Nobody forced you into it. it’s you who gave in, so why did you?”

That was true, it was him who’d given in and even as he did, he’d known the consequences very well. He’d known what would happen if they tampered with evidence, if they tampered with witness testimonies, if they approved settlements instead of holding a fair trial, he had known it all. He had always had a clean record as a judge until then. He was diligent, hard working and on top of all he was fair and had a good sense of justice. Then whatever had blinded his intuition at that point? What convinced him? What made him do what he’d done?

The truth was as clear as daylight before him. He’d thought about it million times, and he already knew.

“Because of you” Sung Gyu told her without a beat. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. Instead, he kept gazing down at the half empty can in his hand. There was a sad little smile on his lips. He remembered very well the moment that he’d given in. He did that to impress them. He did that to be their person, to be Yeri’s person, so that everything his mother had told them about him wouldn’t be true, so that it would be proven that he was committed and considerate and that he was able to love her without fail. He did that to fit in, to belong to someone, to belong to her. He couldn’t tell her any of that, not when that small fragile circle, that hope he’d had with them had destroyed and become nothing again. So he finally willed himself to lift his head to look at her. All he could see were glistening tears in her eyes. “I did that because of you, Yeri” He sighed, shaking his head tiredly. “I hope that answers your question”

Yeri met his eyes and held his gaze for the longest time.

“Because...of me?” She whispered a second later, and Sung Gyu noticed, although it was subtle, although it was almost inaudible, that little tremble in her voice. “I...I don’t understand”

Sung Gyu bit his lip and continued to stare at the can in his hand. There was nothing more that he could tell her, nothing more that could fix this, that could change anything. Whatever happened, happened; they parted ways, their love lost its sight before they could even realise it. Now Sung Gyu stood on the edge of reasoning with his whole life balanced on a tip of an iceberg, the whole truth still buried deep in the blue. Nothing they would say or do could change anything, and so he remained silent, hoping it would give her the answers.

And perhaps it did, when Yeri finally gathered herself and climbed back on her feet from where she sat in the kitchen. Suddenly, the look in her eyes was distant, cold, unrecognisable. This was the Yeri he’d grown accustomed to for the past year.

“I guess this is it then” She said with a sense of finality and heaved a great, big sigh. “I didn’t really plan on staying for long-,”

Sung Gyu nodded and finally brought himself to look at her again. “Thank you for coming around anyway” He told her, just because he despised leaving any relationship on a bad note. 

Yeri nodded, nodded and nodded. Then she swallowed hard before giving him a smile. “How are you doing?”

Sung Gyu shrugged, leaving his half empty can aside. “Not very good”

Yeri nodded again and took a deep breath. “Well, that is all I wanted to tell you and...umm…” She scratched a side of her nose, looking away; a simple gesture that Sung Gyu knew to imply that she had more to say.

So he prompted her with a hum, and for a second, she met his eyes. “I know...that you wouldn’t want our help but….if you need us for anything, testifying or whatever...just let us know”

Sung Gyu doubted that he ever would; even if they had to, it's through Hyerim that he’d let them know. But for the time being, he nodded, he agreed. Ten minutes later, he was still gazing at the close entrance to his apartment, recalling the last thirty minutes of his life, of the woman he’d thought he’d loved, the woman he thought had loved him, for the umpeteenth time, walking out of his life. 

A few minutes later then, yet another woman in his life poked their head in through the door. How Hyerim decided that she had the right to barge in like this was beyond him, but right at that moment, Sung Gyu felt like she was his saving grace. He would never let it on to her, but seeing her always gave him relief, a flicker of hope.

“The good news or the bad news, which one would you like first?” She asked as she allowed herself into his threshold without asking for his permission.

Sung gyu picked up his can of beer. “Depends on how good and bad they’re” He gestured at the fridge. “A drink?”

Hyerim shook her hand dismissively. “I’ll pass, I have to go to work again”

“Work?” He raised his brows. “Well, what are you doing here then?”

She folded her hands on her chest and leaned against the wall. “Just came to deliver you the news”

“All the way from there?” He gestured vaguely in the air.

“Uh huh”

“But why? You could have called”

“Can’t do that when sharing confidential information is illegal”

Interested, Sung Gyu grabbed a kitchen chair and sat in the opposite direction with his legs on either side. “Spill”

He himself had so much that he wanted to talk about with her, his worries, his doubts, his concerns. What he realised was that, for the past few days he’d become more dependent on Hyerim, on her words of comfort and even her unruly humor in a way that he’d never imagined. And that was endearing, although he wouldn’t say so himself. For the first time ever, he felt as if he was not alone.

“First things first” She started as she approached him in slow steps. “Woohyun had analysed the recordings; he even had cleared out each and every voice to the extent that they’re recognizable”

Sung Gyu sincerely did not know that such technology did exist. “And?” He pushed on hopefully.

“Well, your voice is there, certainly, in a few instances. And so does Ryu Wonho’s. Fortunately, given the weight of the case, there is more risk on Ryu Wonho’s side than on you as it's him who mediates the case whereas you’re more or less expressing your opinion. and after all, Wonho was the presiding judge of the case”

Sung Gyu let out a heavy sigh. “So you’re telling me that the chances are slim?” He said.

Hyerim made a face and tilted her head. “Well….that takes us to the bad news”

“And that is??” Sung Gyu’s heart skipped a beat.

“Ryu Wonho is being investigated by the prosecution for inside fraud as a judge, which came up after a background check because-”

“Because he’s running for supreme court” He reasoned out.

“Yes” Hyerim agreed.

Sung Gyu put his hands together contemplatively. Wonho never came off as secretive or particularly cunning, but then again Sung Gyu didn’t have a good judgment of character either. Whatever the case is, if Ryu Wonho complied to the investigation then he would pull all the strings that he could during the course of the investigation in order to secure his place in the supreme court, even if that meant he had to use his previous colleagues as scapegoats.

And that’s where things become disadvantageous for him.

“The thing is,” Hyerim continued in a grave tone, “If this ever goes on trial, the recording can not be used as evidence-,”

“Since it's an unknown sender so it becomes inadmissible” Sung Gyu added.

“Exactly” She agreed, nodding in response. “We need to find its recipient, where it came from, who did this-,”

“And?” Sung Gyu raised his brows, earning an uncomfortable smile from her. 

“We’ve been working on it,” She says. “It is particularly difficult to trace these things”

The problem was how the recordings came into existence. A few weeks back, Sung Gyu’s been going about his usual day when he was first informed of its existence. He didn’t know where they came from, nor what he had to do with them and his initial reaction was to deny his possible connection to it. Anyone would, especially if they hadn’t any recollection and also if nobody knew where they came from. As the NIS described, it was sent to the NIS itself by a courier in a small package which contained a burn phone and a memory chip. Of course there was no point tracing back to the owner of the phone nor the memory chip as they were both stolen. The courier service was given the information of a person who was recorded to have died years ago, which was another case entirely. It was a complete mess, and smack dab in the middle of it was him, his paths all blocked. 

“So what do we do?” Sung gyu asked, mostly from himself. “If anything, Ryu Wonho is going to plead innocent”

“Perhaps if his previous cases get reinvestigated for possible loopholes…”

“But they need evidence,” Sung Gyu continued firmly. “There needs to be solid evidence, Jung”

And all the cases that Wonho handled being civil cases made things even worse. Half the time solid evidence that such cases would contain are eyes-witness and confessions of those who hadn’t the slightest idea of the law, hence taking the given verdict as they were without question. On the other hand, just because there’s been a manipulated judgment in the Belle-Vie case, they couldn’t assume that there were adversities in the others. To certify that, all his previous cases would need to be investigated, and they weren’t talking about a few tens or so cases; there were hundreds of them that he must have seated the judge’s seat in his lifetime.

“It isn’t going to be easy,” Hyerim said in a small voice as if to answer the endless worries in his mind. “That’s-,”

“Tens and thousands of cases” Sung Gyu replied, running his hands through his hair. 

He hadn’t thought that things would get so out of hand when he’d first taken part in Belle-Vie’s verdict. He could vaguely remember bits and pieces of that trial, the small mouse faced employee of Belle vie; the victim, and her unfair dismissal due to her claiming ual assault by her executive and how the defendant’s sentence was lessened, under his, Ryu Wonho and his left and right hand judges’ misconduct, how the victim was eventually given a hefty compensation instead of withdrawal of her dismissal. Now that he thought of it, that shouldn’t have been her fate, that young, innocent girl who probably had millions of dreams shattered right before her eyes. That shouldn’t have been how it happened. Sung Gyu remembered from something he’d read in buddhist teaching; Karma. What goes around comes around. Now it had come right at his face.

So now all he had to do was make things right, if that was even possible. He had to make up his mind, even if that meant  that his position in the legislation would be compromised. He had to make the right call.

Sung Gyu looked over and Hyerim and met her eyes. “If that comes down to it, I’ll tell the truth” Sung Gyu told her. “I will testify”

Hyerim stared at him for a moment as if she was trying to decipher the sense of his words. “You do understand what that means right?”

He nodded and straightened up, resting one knee on the chair, his hands resting on its back. “Like you said, the recording can’t be taken as evidence, so there is no other way to prove my direct involvement, although it does also mean that I was involved. Judge Ryu, most certainly will deny the allegations but if there was evidence that proves his doing, then my involvement will certainly come up. So I will testify, tell the truth. There is no way around”

Hyerim gazed at him for a second and gave him a smile. “I thought you didn’t want to go to jail”

“And that wouldn’t land me in jail” He shrugged. “Probation, if you may, and a fine”

“But that would affect your position”

Sung Gyu merely threw his hands in the air dismissively. “About that, Jung, at this very moment, I don’t give a flying ”

Hyerim let out a surprised laughter. “For someone who didn’t want to go to jail, you sound surprisingly bold, Kim”

Sunggyu, if he was to be completely honest, was not being bold at all. He was calculating all his options, looking into ways that could stop his life from completely falling apart. If he had to pay a large fine, it would be okay; if he had to esign from his position it wouldn’t be bad as well. But if he had to serve in jail, that is where his life would completely end.

“I’m scared to be honest” he sighed, meeting Hyerim’s concerned gaze. “I’m terrified. And if this ever gets on media then-,”

Hyerim gave him a sad little smile. “You know that it would be inevitable right? It probably wouldn’t right now, but eventually...”

“Jail feels better than that...” Sunggyu gave her the boldest fake smile he could make. Things were not going to be better after this, things were never going to be better after the recording came out. All he could hope for was for them not to go from bad to worst.

“Kim” Hyerim suddenly called out, interrupting the silence between them.

“Hm?”

“Let’s do our best,” she told him. “And let’s hope for the best”

Sung Gyu gave a little chuckle in response. “For someone who’s yet to find evidence, you’re awfully optimistic, Jung Hyerim”

“Evidence?”

“The recording” He reminded her. Hyerim was indeed a great investigator, quite efficient too, with what she did. But at times she seemed to forget who she was and what she was meant to do. Sung Gyu couldn’t help finding it quite adorable, although he found it strange and uncharacteristic of himself as well.

“Right!” She said, laughing and pulled herself together again. “The recordings, yes. I’ll get back to it…”

Sung Gyu only laughed in response, not realising, at least not at that moment, that Hyerim had that effect on him; the ability to make him smile, make him laugh, put him in perspectives when he viewed the case. He did understand that ultimately this whole situation would ruin a good part of his life. But perhaps, the silver lining was that it had brought them closer, given him a good friend in Jung Hyerim in a way he never expected.

“I’ll get going then” Hyerim called, interrupting his thoughts and she had already made her way to the door. “Have to get full disclosure on the recordings”

“You better” Sung gyu replied. “And Jung?”

“Hm?” She turned back, met his eyes.

“Thank you”

“For what?” She raised her brows. 

He smiled. “For risking everything to pass illegal information to me”

Hyerim, reminding him of the warmest summer days, smiled at him in response. “That is what friends are for”

Hours after she left, Sung gyu sat in his kitchen in the dark, still in his working clothes, deep in thought. The entire house was quiet, save for the distant sounds from the street below. Then and there, Momo would pass by, heavy on her feet, her little bells tinkling as if she carried the weight of the world. In odd moments, Sung Gyu had found himself wondering how simple and easy life was for her. She had no job, no family except for himself, didn’t have to pay rent, and food was served in a machine that he had to earn for, and spend on daily. If he were a cat too, he wouldn’t be in the predicament that he was now. Stuck in cross roads, feeling alone and lonely in his too big dark apartment like a ship stranded in the sea. The worst thing was, no matter where he turned the sails, there was no going out of this, each possible solution worse than the other. They say that every problem had a solution, at least that’s what therapists and feel-good movies and facebook posts said. But none of them ever mentioned how sometimes, these solutions could be worse than the problem itself.

He also understood that there was no point dwelling over it, whatever the solution may  be, he’d have to take it as it is. All he could do was make things slightly better than what they could be, reduce a jail sentence to a probation, reduce a probation to compensation and resignation. At least one was slightly more plausible than the other.

Yet there was hardly a place to start. The recordings didn’t give much to go by, but it being inadmissible evidence stood at both advantageous and disadvantageous in two perspectives. What he needed right now was something, anything that could further prove his innocence. And that took him to K, the notorious information fraudster and what the hell he’d  been doing in his house. 

No matter how much he thought about it, K’s appearance in the very beginning of the investigation still didn’t make sense. If he were a cyber criminal, whatever did he have to do there physically present around the apartment? If he were to screw him over couldn’t he have done that in the same way that he’d committed his crimes? On the other hand, Sung gyu wasn’t exactly very tech savvy to use a computer for his daily work. Most things were in physical format, case files and whatnot exactly how a traditional judge would; all of which he had left behind along with his past. As it’s been ages since then, he wasn’t very sure either. Did he accidentally file anything in his apartment? Did he bring down documents he probably shouldn’t have for safe keeping? With all these questions haunting him in his mind, so as images of K snooping through his belongings, Sung Gyu decided to find out by himself.

The next ten minutes, he spent pulling out all the possible files and documents that he’d stacked up in his shelves, all neatly organised in perfect order. Sung Gyu wasn’t exactly someone who could keep things in order; he never really had the time to, even if he wanted to invest in arranging his shelves. All this time it’s been Yeri who’d done it for him, any time she would come over and wait for him until he returned or finished up his work. The last time she did that for him was months ago and he hadn’t touched the shelves since, until it got raided. He hadn’t spared a glance at them after then. He paused for a moment upon realisation then. There was no way that Hyerim and her army of police officers could have put things in place again. Even if they did, not in this order. Not like this.

It must have been Yeri once again, that time she visited him, that time they signed the divorce papers. It must have been her all along.

With a heavy sigh and a weight in his heart, he continued to retrieve things off the rack. He wouldn’t be able to put them back as they were again. He didn’t have the patience and nimble hands that she did. And now that they were no longer together, he might as well leave them be.

After hours of searching, however, he didn’t find anything suspicious. Of course, whatever there was, K must have come and taken them himself. But there was no sign that he could have, for there was nothing that he had had anything to do with his life as a judge all those years ago. It wasn’t possible that one single stack of documents could exist. If anything, he would have destroyed them if there were any. Sung Gyu wasn’t as tactless as that. Sitting cross legged on the floor, one hand in Momo’s floofy belly as she rolled all over discarded papers, Sung Gyu tried to find fragments of his past again. He was in the middle of what was only a case file for mooting back in college when his phone rang, lost somewhere underneath the mess. 

He found the phone beneath Momo and the papers that she rolled in. He was quite excited, hoping it was Hyerim, bringing in good news. But it was just his sister. They didn’t part on good terms the last time, which he despised. But it wasn’t like there was anything that he could do either. So he just tossed the phone aside and left it to ring. It did for a while before it stopped, then started again, this time as endless angry messages, piled up one after the other, filling his inbox. With a heavy breath, Sung Gyu reached out for his phone again. He already knew what it was going to be about.

There were five messages from her, all in single syllables, only to ask him to get out of the house as she’d come down to see him. The weight on his shoulders only grew heavier as he remembered what their last conversation was. Knowing his sister, she was not going to let him off the hook for a while.

“I guess I have to go then” Sung Gyu told Momo sadly, the only company that he had in this dark, empty house. She only gave him a purry meow in response.

The warm summer wind greeted him as soon as he stepped outside, carrying the dizzying smell of tarmac and long weary days along. It’s been a particularly warm season this time, and he didn’t even bother with a jacket as sweat pooled underneath his collar and sleeves. Sung gyu’s sister wasn’t going to be very happy seeing his disarrayed appearance, just like she tried to find fault in everything he did.

Across the street was a small cafe that he frequented, grabbed his morning coffee or breakfast from on the go. He knew the girl behind the counter very well, to the point that they didn’t even have to communicate for her to get his order at ready. She smiled at him warmly as he stepped inside, the cool coffee-scented air engulfing him. In a far corner was his sister, grumpily sitting with a mug before her, staring out the glass panel, her face grim; a blatant reminder that this wasn’t going to be a happy occasion. He hadn’t come hoping to stay for too long. Perhaps just share a word or two and leave, nothing more.

“Noona” Sunggyu called as he approached her and she glanced up with a deep frown on her face.

“What took you so long?” She hit back, no greeting, no preamble. 

“I-“ he gestured at the entrance but she didn’t let him finish.

“What took you so long to pick up the damn phone?”

He went quiet at this, and looked away. He didn’t have to word it out for her to know what he did.

“What’s wrong with you, really?” She continued even as he pulled out a chair in front of her. “I’ve texted you a couple of times and called you, even mum tried to call you once-,”

“I was busy,” Sunggyu replied without a second thought. He’d seen all the calls and messages, he’d most purposefully ignored them. His sister particularly enjoyed bossing him around since they were kids, starting from telling on him to their parents every time he caused even a minor inconvenience to pretending to care about him as an adult when he stayed out of their radar for too long.

“That’s what you always say, Sunggyu, but at this point I’m beginning to feel that you just don’t care” She replied. Sunggyu remained quiet, as he also truthfully felt that it might be the case. Sunggyu didn’t care anymore because  had too much to care about, he couldn’t care anymore when his whole life was falling apart and all he could do for his family was fear them. Knowing that he’d always been the runt, the truth would only add hay to the fire, and things would only go from bad to worst. There was only so much that he, exhausted of his derailing life, could take.

But he couldn’t tell his sister any of this. She shouldn’t know, she should never know. He hadn’t realised how painful it was, to have nobody to depend on and walk through the storm on his own.

“Did you talk to mum and dad, at least?” Jieun went on.

He continued to keep quiet, staring down at his entangled hands.

“They’re hurt by what you last told them, Sunggyu. Especially mum. How could you say that to her? After all she’d done for you?”

He did, if he were to be honest, feel quite bad for his mother. After all that’s happened, only she would hug him and hold him and genuinely ask him how he was. He knew that she wasn't perfect. They didn’t have to be. No parent was ever qualified to become one when they had children and he knew that his weren’t any different. But he was older now and life wasn’t the same as it was when he was still young and lived in their wing. They couldn’t possibly expect his life to always fall in line with what they wanted.

“I will call her” he finally gave in with a sigh. He would talk to her when all of this was over, when he’d evaded jail and left his job and finally had the mind to talk to her. 

“Apologize to her” she went on, “They came all the way from Jeonju and they were really looking forward to seeing you-,”

In the spur of the moment, he couldn’t help that scornful smile on his lips. He could imagine his mum probably wanting to see him, but his father? Not so much.

“What?” Jieun asked, and it appeared his smile did not go unnoticed.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure what?” Jieun frowned.

“Are you sure they wanted to see me? And you? You wanted to see me?”

Jieun stared at him for the longest time as if she was trying to believe what she heard. “W-What?”

“Anyway” Sunggyu let out a heavy sigh and climbed back up on his feet. He didn’t think they had more to talk about, and right now, he wanted a drink. “If that’s all, I will get going then”

“Sunggyu-,”

“I’ll see you when I can”

Jieun blinked. “What-What is wrong with you?”

Everything is wrong with me. Sunggyu wanted to reply, to exclaim as loud as he could so the entire world could hear and he’d receive so much empathy, so much love, so he didn’t have to live like this anymore. But he knew that things just didn’t work that way.

“Nothing’s wrong with me” he replied to her, shaking his head. “Take care your way back home” he told her just because he had that responsibility as a little brother that she never believed for him to be, before he left her behind, alone and probably confused, and stepped back into the warm, bustling street again.

He took all his time to walk back home. His mind needed relief and perhaps live the few days that he had before the storm rolled into his life again. As he walked, he allowed himself to absorb the essence of his surroundings; the scent of women’s shower gel and perfume coming from roadside boutiques with an occasional hint of burning oil and tteokbokki. The sounds were quite endearing, conversations that he knew no beginning nor end of, strangers surrounding him, entangled in their own stories, lost in their worlds. Once in a while, when a couple or a family with children passed by, he’d wonder how his own life would have been had he made different choices. What if he never went to law school? What if he never ran for the legislation? What if he never took Yeri’s love for granted? What if he built a family with her instead? What if he became happy with what he had without running after things that he couldn’t achieve? Simply, what if he was happy?

He stopped dead for a second on the middle of the street and let out a heavy sigh. The weight upon his shoulders was unbearable. He was unhappy. He was broken and unhappy beyond belief.

Yet, as lights flashed and cars whizzed by, as strangers passed, and the world moved on without him, the most unexpected thing happened. He heard a voice, a familiar voice calling his name. It got closer and closer until an equally familiar, and if anything, heartwarming face appeared before him. 

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Jung Hyerim exclaimed, and he didn’t even realize that he’d been gazing at her for longer than he should. 

“Oh um” he cleared his throat. “I was just-,”

“Should the youngest minister in the legislation be walking around like this?” Hyerim asked and moved closer, her eyes glimmering in mischief. “Careful, you might even get killed”

Sunggyu spluttered and pushed her away from him. Trust Jung Hyerim to come and say something completely ridiculous. “Please, if anyone wants to kill me that would be you”

Hyerim giggled, an endearing little sound that caught him by surprise, before she put her hand through his arm. “I’ll guard you” She said determinedly. Sung Gyu couldn’t help the fond smile forming on his lips. If it was another time, he would have been annoyed by her bold move, but right now, and strangely so, it felt like what he needed the most.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He asked, trying to sound firm, but by the way she smiled, he could tell it didn’t work.

“Nothing” Hyerim shrugged, lifted her head so that their eyes met. “I just got off work...and there’s approximately-,” She glanced down at her watch and raised her brows. “Two hours and ten minutes before the day ends”

“And?” He pushed on.

“We can grab dinner, get a drink, what do you think?”

Sung Gyu let out a surprised chuckle. “Are you asking me out on a date, Jung Hyerim-Ssi?”

“No, I’m treating you before you go to jail-,”

“What-?”

“Come on”

In the end, Sung Gyu found himself giving in, for he had nothing better to do other than returning to his empty apartment, back to his lonely life and rethink the bad choices he had made. As dinner and a drink with a ridiculously loud woman was a better option, Sung Gyu allowed Hyerim to lead the way. She brought him to a roadside eatery which was busy despite the time of the day, almost every table, except for a few, were occupied by loud, angry patrons. These weren’t the kind of places that Kim Sung Gyu the politician would not visit often. In fact, he hadn’t been to one in years. For a moment, he felt strangely out of place; the loud noises of other diners and clamber of pottery coming from the kitchen, together with the sound from the road were overwhelming. However, when Hyerim grabbed him by his arm and led to a table for two, she made him realise what she really meant by protecting him.

“I guess you wouldn’t say no to a drink?” Hyerim exclaimed as she took the seat right before him. She looked particularly excited for someone who had just gotten off from work. 

“I thought you weren’t drinking tonight?” he asked her.

She glanced at him. “Oh work, let me have this”

She called out to the store owner and ordered themselves Soju and all kinds of oily, spicy street food which he wouldn’t have had under regular circumstances. The last time he probably ate like this was back in college, for all the other times, dining out was usually done at expensive high-end places, elegant restaurants and Sushi bars among men in suits who had nothing else but politics and business and money to talk about. With Jung Hyerim it felt different, refreshing. Perhaps it was indeed what he’d wanted all along. 

Sung Gyu wasn’t planning to tell her, but until the food arrived, he did end up talking to her about why he had been out in the streets at this time of the day. She had seen his sister once or twice, he thought, as she had come over to his flat a few times. But she didn't say anything except for listening to him venting out.

“They don’t come to see me because they care about me” he said, playing with a paper napkin, his thoughts a bit of a mess. “My parents never cared...well, maybe my mum, a little bit. But dad? I think he’d rather have me dead or something”

The Soju arrived along with some side dishes. It was Hyerim who took over the responsibility of opening the bottle in some weird sophisticated move, hitting the bottle neck on the table and pop! It went. “And your sister?” Hyerim pushed on and proceeded to pour a glass for him. 

“Noona, well…” He glanced away. If he walked back to their past, as children, they had a very good relationship. She was the smarter one; she loved to read and read a lot, like all the time, and for little Sung Gyu she was the biggest deal, his only best friend and inspiration. He used to do the same things that she did. If she read a certain book, he’d try to read it as well. When she drew things, he did as well, but only he had a problem with color coordination and identifying them separately since very young ages which had continued on until now that he’d given up on it altogether. Yet, she taught him a lot of things. He learned english from her, how to draw chinese characters; and later in life, she’d shown him the roots of politics as well. But by then, their relationship had already derailed, and for this, he blamed his parents. 

“She’s the perfect one, you know. She never did anything wrong, and so my parents were really proud of her” Sung Gyu poured a glass for Hyerim as well, and they both downed it at once. Their first dish of steaming hot fishcake arrived at the table. “It was my parents who ruined things between us...you know, if you hype something bad in a child they think it's a good thing and continue to do that? That’s what happened I think. They praised her for competing against me, telling on me to them and my parents always compared the two of us. She was the better child and why couldn’t I just be like my sister? I guess I was so busy trying to impress them that I lost sight of myself, and with all of that, I started hating my sister too…”

Hyeri chewed off a large bite of fishcake and its smoke covered half her small face. “Do you really think you hate her? Or couldn’t it be like...you know, something that you do to irk your parents more?”

Sung Gyu hadn’t really thought about it. “Well,” He shrugged in the end. “I do love her children”

Hyerim smiled, her eyes glowed behind the smoke and among all the color surrounding her. “Maybe you love her too”

He thought about it for a minute and shook his head. He’d given it a lot of contemplation all his life. He thought perhaps, it was psychological. Something to do with how he was raised, his childhood experiences and how they had affected his adulthood. Whatever it was, he was certain by then; Sunggyu was simply incapable of love. He could like certain things; he liked his niece and nephew, he liked children in general. He liked Momo, he might even like Hyerim and their blooming companionship in peculiar circumstances. But love? Love was an emotion so strong that he doubted he’d ever felt in life. Perhaps Yeri had loved him, but he didn’t know what it felt like let alone to give it to another. So did he really love anyone?

“I don’t think I can do love” He sincerely admitted. “It’s something that I realised with my experience with Yeri, with my family. I don’t think I’m even capable of that”

Hyerim was quiet as she poured a glassful for him. She sat back then and gazed at him for a long time. Sung Gyu stared back, his glass abandoned for a moment. He was uncertain of what he felt at that time; whatever it was, it was strange, different.

“You don’t…” She stated then, leaned forward and brought her hands together. “Kim, you don’t ‘do’ love. Love isn’t something that you do. It’s something that you feel…”

“Well then” He shrugged in response. “I don’t feel love” Sung Gyu then reached for his glass and downed it in one go. He closed his eyes upon the burning sensation of the alcohol down his throat, threw his head back and allowed himself to feel...to feel anything. At that moment, perhaps, the alcohol had numbed down his emotions. He did feel things. A lot of things. But he wasn’t sure if any of them was love.

“I don’t believe you,” Hyerim said, shaking her head. “I mean, I’ve known you for five years, and you’re the most sensitive man ever I’ve met in my life”

Sung Gyu could only scoff in response. “Really?” He pressed his arm upon the plastic table and picked up a steaming hot fish cake skewer. “What makes you think so?”

“For an instance” Hyerim raised her eyes thoughtfully. “Momo. Remember the first day we met and you were frantically looking for her all over the place?”

“That was because she’s my sister’s cat” Sung Gyu reasoned out to her. 

“But you can’t say that it wasn’t because you loved her” She challenged with her brows raised.

“She’s all I have at home now” he merely replied.

“Then what about all the times you got stinking drunk after a fight with Yeri?”

Some more of the food that they ordered arrived at that moment, and as the dishes were being served, Sung Gyu observed his companion across the table. She was...peculiar, if anything. And he was confused as well. There was something about the way she appeared whenever Yeri was in their conversations, something odd that he couldn’t seem to pinpoint. Hyerim, after all, had always been guarded with her emotions; mysterious, undecodable. She was impassive even after the waitress left, and Sung Gyu watched her for a briefest moment before he replied. 

“That was because we were married,” He cautiously told her.

“You were still upset after the divorce, you cared about her” 

Sung Gyu raised his brows. He didn’t know where this conversation was going. “It’s a divorce, Jung. I don’t know how else I was supposed to feel”

Hyerim shook her head. “You’d feel no remorse if you hadn’t loved her at any point, Kim. That's valid for any relationship. You wouldn’t have felt upset or agitated-,”

Sung Gyu let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know why you’re so hell-bent on trying to convince me that-,”

“I love you” Hyerim cut in all of a sudden, and that halted him mid-sentence. Silence fell between them which lasted for a long time. For about a minute or two, it was only the cheerful mingle of the street and chatter of the fellow patrons; but they still communicated. They spoke with their eyes, his long questioning gaze trying to read into whatever that hers carried. He felt lost in them, lost in her unidentifiable, unreadable emotions. What was she trying to do, trying to say?

Hyerim folded her arms on her chest. “Did that make you feel anything?”

He would never admit it to anyone, but for a second, his heart did stop beating.

“No” Sung Gyu, without a beat, shook his head.

Hyerim, at this point, smirked in response. He just couldn’t understand what she was trying to do at that moment. Whatever it was, he just didn’t like it. 

“It’s not that you don’t feel love, Kim. You just don’t allow yourself to, and you just don’t accept and validate it when you do” She continued in the likes of someone with too much off-hand experience in the love department.

He snorted in response. “That’s just a crock of bull”

She smiled. “But that’s what it is” She leaned forward, then; so close to him that he could see the way her irises widened, the way her eyes changed shape. “You can love, Sung Gyu. You do love. Accept it”

He just couldn’t seem to understand why she was trying to push it upon him. He didn’t know it himself, whether even what he said and felt made any sense. He had grown up without receiving any, at least not in the form of affection. He couldn’t take anger and neglect as love, he couldn’t take constant comparisons and downgrading as love, could he? Perhaps the only kind of love he did receive was from Yeri, but he was not able to identify it because he just didn’t know. And what did he do at that time? He did not accept her heart. Instead, he just pushed her away.

But Sung Gyu hadn’t the sheer ability to let all this on, on Hyerim again. She wouldn’t understand. Nobody would. So instead, he decided to put a halt to this conversation; cap the bottle, toss it to the sea. 

“Okay, Miss Love-Guru” He replied to her in a dismissive manner. “I will try, but can we move on now?”

Hyerim just laughed and shook her head. Sometimes she was more confusing than Tort law.

For the next few minutes, the two of them just talked about anything and everything but their love lives and the case at hand. She told him some of her police station anecdotes and he complained to her about the perks of his job and how the strictness of the Ministerial Head always drove him insane. She was a completely orthodox lady who stuck to her principles and work ethics strictly, and their significant age difference had made it even more arduous especially given that she constantly treated him like he was a misbehaving child. Myriad times he’d imagined her with a cane in her hands and wondered if at any point she would make him kneel in front of his office with his arms raised or do hundred push ups or make him write the same sentence a thousand times. Sung Gyu’s frustration, however, happened to be comic relief for Jung Hyerim. She laughed and laughed, she laughed so hard, once clapping her hand on the table that the soup and a glass of Soju fell, staining her shirt. She laughed like a child, throwing her head back, mouth open wide, eyes forming crescent moons, she laughed like the sunshine on bright summer days, and for that moment, all of his worries washed away. For that one moment, Sung Gyu was not the deranged politician on the verge of a prison sentence, for that one moment he was not the unloved son, the heartbroken divorcee; for that one moment, he was just another man who was having a drink and a very good night out with a woman whom he’d just realised had become the largest part of his life.

As the night continued, they got drunker and drunker; about six bottles of soju later, stomachs and hearts full, Sung Gyu and Hyerim set out on their journey back home again. They weren't that far off from the apartment complex and as Hyerim happened to claim, she had come to this food cart so many times that she knew her way around. But as it also happened, she was not ready to go home yet. She wanted to do things the hard way.

“The wrong way home?” Sung Gyu reiterated what he just heard from her, raising his brows. “Why the hell would we take the wrong way home when we can just cross the road and get there?”

“Because then we can find an excuse to stay outside more, come on” She pinched a handful of his shirt on his arm and turned the opposite direction they were going. They had indeed spent two hours drinking and laughing and bickering at the food cart that there was only a few more hours remaining until the next day arrived. And Hyerim wanted to spend that time getting lost or whatever, taking the long way home. And for some reason, Sung Gyu found himself agreeing to her. It was strange, he didn’t understand himself, but he felt more at ease in her presence, more like himself, happier perhaps, all his worries and qualms buried beneath their companionship and things just felt better. Perhaps it was her boundless optimism, her brilliant smiles, the way she talked, the way she laughed and threw her head back the way she carried herself, light as feather, bright as a star, resilient as a storm, that made him realise that perhaps, there was more to life than brooding about it.

As they took the wrong way home, Hyerim wanted to play a game. It was called the question game where they both asked questions and answered with questions. It sounded pretty dumb to him in the beginning, but once he caught up with it, he found himself becoming competitive. The questions consisted of mainly random unrelated, nondescript things, anything that did not touch the sensitive topics, and all was good. If anything, he was beginning to see sides of Hyerim that he hadn’t seen before; for an example, she was not in fact, a cat person. She liked dogs and disliked cats; but Momo happened to be her only exception.

“I hate all the seasons, I don’t have a favorite” Sung Gyu answered grumpily upon being asked what his favorite season was and buried his hands in his pockets. They’ve come to an unfamiliar part of the street where they were passing by a closed park; there was the sound of cicadas in the air and street lights were dim, he could breath the scent of damp grace in the breeze. “My question; Choco-mint  Ice Cream or Strawberry Ice cream?”

Hyerim didn’t even take a second to think that one out. “Neither, choc-mint taste like toothpaste and strawberry is just...strawberry”

Sung Gyu gasped. “You have no taste. They’re like the most superior flavors of ice cream!”

She raised her brows. “Have you tasted Cookie and Cream? Stracciatella?”

He merely rolled his eyes. He hadn’t even heard what the last one was. “Anyway,” Hyerim moved on. “My question. Would you rather prefer a five year old me or five of me?”

Five year old Jung Hyerim or Five Hyerims? It was, in fact, not that of a difficult question to think about. But he did end up contemplating on it anyway, especially since the five year old Hyerim made him think about lots of things...and they had nothing to do with Hyerim being five years old but...well, it was probably because he was drunk and that his head was buzzing and that he’d gone through so much the past few days, but in Sung Gyu’s mind, he suddenly had an image of five little girls, small and loud and quirky like their mother; Hyerim.

“Eh, what is there to think so much about?” Hyerim’s loud voice cut into his thoughts and he immediately came to. She was looking at him oddly and he felt his cheeks heating up. He must have been lost in his thoughts, and he wouldn’t even start questioning what his face must have been like while he’d surreptitiously wondered about having children with Jung Hyerim.

“Neither” Sung Gyu replied in the end. “I can’t tolerate an adult Hyerim let alone a five year old Hyerim, and five is way too many. Even one is too many”

Hyerim pouted at him, her eyebrows furrowed, and stomped ahead of him. Due to her short strides compared to his longer ones, however, he easily caught up. “My question” He started and glanced over at her with a smile. “If you were going to a deserted island, and if you’re allowed to take only three things with you, what would they be?”

They were crossing through the park at that moment, the breeze a little colder as opposed to the constant summer heat. They walked in a languid pace, basking in the tranquil, cold ambiance. In a far, he could see a pair of people sitting in the children’s swings, awkwardly looking away from each other.

“Well, I don’t need three things; just two would do” Hyerim replied. 

“Two?” Sung Gyu exclaimed, laughing. “You had a chance to take three things but you’re ditching one, ehey!”

“First listen to what I’m taking with me” Hyerim argued grumpily. They'd come to a stand still at that time, under quite a sizable tree which had a circular wooden bench encircling its bark. Hyerim sat down in it and Sung Gyu unconsciously followed. To where they sat, they could see the couple on the swings very well; in their backdrop, their apartment complex. Taking the wrong way home wasn’t that bad after all.

“So? What are you taking with you?” Sung Gyu prompted her to answer to him.

Hyerim looked at him contemplatively, lips pouted, brows furrowed. “Well” She started in the end. “After a lot of extensive thinking…”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve decided to take Momo and you with me”

Sung Gyu stared at her for a half a second in disbelief, and then he burst out laughing. “What the hell? What do you take us for?”

“So I wouldn’t feel lonely out there” Hyerim shrugged.

He would never admit it to her, but something warm settled in his heart. It took him back to his conversation with her from the previous night, their drunken promise to take care of each other so neither died alone. He hadn’t thought that in his darkest days he’d have Jung Hyerim, of all the people, giving him hope again.

“There are more important things to take with you” he told her instead, shaking his head in disapproval. “You’d probably need food and water and all of that, what’s the point of taking me? And Momo? She can’t do ” 

He was laughing even as he said this, and it was only their voices that could be heard in the quiet neighbourhood. Loud, happy, boisterous. 

“I’d probably need them, yeah” She shrugged. “But it’s an island so I can send you out hunting or catch fish or something while Momo keeps me in company”

Hyerim, a grown woman, still had a child in her mind. Sung Gyu snorted and shook his head. “So that’s how it is...tsk”

“Anyway, my question” Hyerim quickly put in and rested her hands on her knees. The couple in the swings were still awkwardly swinging; a few lights of the apartment complex had gone out by then. “If you had to choose between them, would you marry a vampire or sleep with an alien?”

While he’d thought ‘marry’ would be a triggering word for him, the sheer ludicrousness of her question tossed all his concerns out the window. Sung Gyu immediately burst out laughing, his head thrown back, hand hitting on his knee. “What the hell, Jung, what kind of a question-?”

“Answer me” Hyerim smiled.

Sung Gyu could still feel laughter bubbling up his chest and struggling to break through. It would erupt then and there, and he lowered his head, embarrassed. “Ahh….I don’t know if I even have to choose between them”

“You do” Hyerim pushed on.

Sung Gyu pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is ridiculous, seriously”

“Come on, time’s a ticking”

“Wait…” He groaned, buried his head in his hands as if it was a serious question to think about. He wasn’t even thinking about it at that moment. In all honesty, that was the last thing in his mind. What did dominate his thoughts at that moment, however, were the incidents of tonight, this moment, how incredibly gratifying it had all been with Hyerim in her presence, with her silly stories and games and laughter, how he didn't want it to end, how he wanted to live like this forever-,

“Seriously? You have to think that much-,”

“I’ll sleep with an alien'' He quickly put in, then snorted and laughed and felt deeply embarrassed behind the palms pressed on his face. Hyerim, on the other hand, was in stitches beside him.

“But why? Why not a Vampire? They’re y and-,”

“Because Aliens are better” Sung Gyu argued irrationally. He thought maybe they were beginning to lose their good senses. “They probably come from other galaxies, and have different technologies and-,”

“Weird positions and genitilia” Hyerim put in, stopping him mid sentence. He looked down at her, shocked and unimpressed by her bluntness, and he probably unconsciously made a strange face that she looked at him, covered her face and laughed.

“This conversation is going in the wrong direction” He said in the end.

“When were we going in the right direction anyway?” Hyerim put in. “We started the day on the wrong foot, everything was wrong today, and we took the wrong way home and we’re here now”

The wrong direction had indeed brought them close to home, yet they were quite far away. The night was getting chillier, darker; everything appeared different. Unreal. They were in a bubble right then, Sung Gyu and her. A bubble where things were nicer, they were happier, and their only concerns were whether aliens or vampires were better partners to go to to bed with.

“I think you’re right,” Sung Gyu told her, heaving a heavy sigh in relief. For a moment, real life felt so far away. His family, his sister, all the problems left behind in a different dimension as he floated aimlessly in this unreal world. 

They were quiet for a while, afterwards, both just sitting together, enjoying the company of one another in silence. It was enough just to have her there. He recalled what she said the previous night, that him just being there was enough for her. And perhaps, he felt the same too. Just having her there was more than enough.

“Aww...look” Hyerim mumbled into the quietness after a while, and Sung Gyu was lost in his own thoughts that he took a second to recollect himself.

“Hm?”

“Them, the couple on the swing”

Sung Gyu looked up towards their direction in front of them, and through the trees, in the clearing of the park he could see them wrapped around and passionately kissing each other. It had taken them that long to find themselves then.

“They're finally together…” Hyerim went on, and when he glanced at her, he could see her hands tangled together, eyes widened and bright as she gleefully watched the scene unfolding before them. Perhaps it was the spur of the moment, the turn that their night took, the drunkenness of his mind, he couldn’t tell which. But for that once, as Hyerim watched two lovers lost in their moment, Sung Gyu found himself watching her. He was tracing the shape and the image of her, the way her hair danced in the breeze, the crinkle in the corners of her eyes. He noticed that her hands were rather delicate; they were very, very small. He wondered what it would be like to enclose them within his own. He wondered how it would be like to feel her warmth, her comfort, how it would be like to be with her, tangled up and wrapped around each other the way that the swing couple were.

“They...they look so happy” She went on in this quiet, soft voice that she’d never used before. 

“Mm, they are…”

He was gazing at her in wonderment, even as he was speaking. Was this really how Jung Hyerim was like when she was happy? This delicate? This pretty? He watched her as her hair fell upon her face when wind blew, and wished he could reach out and tuck it behind her ear. He’d hold her face perhaps; she would perfectly fit in his hand. Then he would close his eyes, move forward, and as the late summer wind slowly blew across them, he would move closer and even closer and-

“Kim?”

“Hm?” He turned to her, and she too was gazing up at him. They were quiet for a moment, staring at each other, and Sung Gyu wondered, for a fleeting moment if, whatever he felt at that moment, she felt the same.

“I think it’s getting late,” Hyerim told him. 

“Hm? Oh, um, yeah…” He cleared his throat, embarrassed and climbed up on his feet. “You’re-you’re right”

“We should get going”

“Yup” He sighed and stretched his arms. “Lets”

The walk back home was quick as they only had to cross the park towards the back entrance of the apartment complex, enter through the parking lot, take the lift to their floor, all of which they did while talking about irrelevant mundane things. They talked about the weather, their rent, their other neighbours, their mortgage contracts. By the time they reached their floor, they no longer had anything to talk about. The two of them stood in the corridor, staring at each other, and Sung Gyu buried his hands in his pockets. He must be terribly drunk by then, that he absolutely refused to let the night end.

And that's why, when she lifted a hand in farewell and greeted him good night, he interrupted her and told her- “Do you want to come inside and have some coffee?”

He beat himself up inside as soon as he asked her. It was so unlike himself. He never asked women to come in and have coffee with him...unless he intended to go to bed with them. Yet at that moment, he had absolutely no thought remotely similar to seeing Hyerim in that way. He just wanted her company, he wanted her to fill the quiet gap in his life, to fill that void of silence with her voice for at least once, and that once had to be tonight.

Hyerim looked up at him, and when her eyes crinkled, forming a smile, he thought maybe she too, understood. “Okay” She shrugged.

Sung Gyu nodded and immediately moved towards his door.

“But only on one condition”

He paused, his heart skipped a little as he turned to her. “Which is?”

“I want to play with Momo as long as I want”

Sung Gyu laughed and turned back to the door. Of course, of course it would be something to do with Momo. What the hell was he thinking?

The house was the same as he’d left it, and from the living room, Momo came out running, her little bell tinkling as she made that affectionate sound. Momo loved him but she hardly made that sound for him. She seemed to like Hyerim more than she liked him, which was not fair.

“Momo is lazy, she doesn’t play past ten minutes” He said as Hyerim crouched down on the floor in front of her, and Momo, as expected, fell on the floor like a huge, heavy pillow. 

“Would instant coffee be fine?” Sung Gyu called from the kitchen as he set the mugs, put water to boil.

“Is okay!”

He just busied himself in the kitchen for a moment, feeling slightly awkward to have a woman in his house. He’d had Hyerim coming over myriad times, but for some reason, tonight, the circumstances felt different. He washed two mugs for them and cleaned the counter while the water boiled. Once it did, he quickly put the coffee together and walked to the living room with the two mugs in his hands. He found Hyerim there, sitting on the floor and cleaning papers and files he’d left in a mess before he went out that night. And they were a blatant reminder of his reality, of everything that he had going on around him all of which, for a few hours, had completely disappeared. He was also reminded of the very reason why he had littered his living room with files and papers in the first place.

“Here you go” Sung Gyu said as he handed the mug of coffee to her. Hyerim appeared surprised to see him there, looking up at him with widened eyes. “Oh um,” She picked up the mug and smiled just the slightest. “Thanks” 

Sung Gyu had a sip of his own coffee, put his mug aside and sat down on the floor beside her. “You don’t need to do all that, I’ll put them away later” He told her.

Hyerim meticulously arranged a stack of files on the shelf; it wasn’t as neat as Yeri’s but a lot better than Sung Gyu himself would have done. 

“It’s okay, while I’m here, I might as well,” She grunted as she lifted another stack of files onto the shelf. Sung Gyu shook his head. “It’s fine...in fact, I took them out for something”

At this, Hyerim halted what she was doing and looked up at him. “What is it?” She asked and tugged at the lapels of her jacket.

“Jung,” he started, his lips and heaved a long breath “What if K came to my apartment not to take anything from me but to leave something here?” It was the first time that he was speaking his suspicions out loud, he realized.

It could have been only him, but for a second, Hyerim froze. “Leave...something?” She echoed as she looked up at him.

“Leave something” He reiterated with a nod. “It’s Ryu Wonho that we’re talking about, and I can safely say that I had never met a greater crook in my life”

“He had a good reputation as a judge didn’t he?” Hyerim asked conversationally as she sat down on the floor. 

“He did, and he was a good judge...he was my mentor, I looked up to him, and he had a very charismatic personality...people like that are easily manipulative, you never know”

Hyerim shook her head. “True, you never know…” She looked up at him. “Do you think he would try to set you up on this?”

“Set me up?” He returned contemplatively. 

Thinking back to their past, Sung Gyu couldn’t say that Wonho would not do such a thing, nor could he say that he would. The two of them had a very congenial mentor-mentee relationship. Despite his own shortcomings, Sung Gyu had always been loved and complemented by him for being courteous and respectful, and he was considered a younger brother for him, and sometimes even a son. That was perhaps why he had trusted him even when he knew that what they were doing with the Belle-Vie case was wrong. He had a vague memory of that time before the mediation, Wonho placing a hand on his back and asking him; “Are you nervous?” He remembered being nervous beyond belief. He was shaking. He’d never done wrong in his life. He hadn’t run a red light, had not a single parking ticket, and there he was, about to manipulate the judgement of a ual assaults case. How else was he supposed to feel? But Judge Ryu had patted on his back, albeit gently, squeezed his shoulder and laughed. That’s all it was, and he’d thought, back then, that things were going to be fine. He had been easily trusting back then. A complete push over, if anything. Had he not made that bad decision, even if it meant that he would anger his in laws and walked away, he wouldn’t be in this mess now.

“I can never be sure if he would or wouldn’t” Sung Gyu told her in the end. “Like I said, he was a manipulative bastard; he was popular among other younger judges like myself, everyone liked him. He knew what strings to pull to have his ways''

Hyerim looked quite lost at that moment, her arms folded on her chest. “Hm, he doesn’t sound like an easy contender”

“And if he set me up” Sung Gyu continued with a rather heavy heart, “Sadly, I wouldn’t be surprised”

There was a moment of quietness then, and Eunji reached for her mug of coffee. She downed it in one go as he watched her, quite confused, then climbed up on her feet, carried over the last stack of files which she couldn’t put in before and arranged it on the shelf. 

“Well, Kim. I can’t tell anything myself” She told him. “Did you find anything suspicious when you were looking?”

He had been looking right after both Hyerim and Yeri had come and left, so while he was thoroughly looking through his documents, he had a very vague memory of it too. “I’ll check again, just in case” He told her and let out a sigh. It’s been a nagging feeling in his heart the whole day since he learned about K, the notorious information fraudster who couldn’t have had a business here given his capabilities. Whatever it was, he felt, was bigger than he thought it could be.

“Well then…” Hyerim said, straightened up and let out a sigh. “I think I will get going then...have to get back to work tomorrow...but you know, if you do find anything just tell me right away”

Sung Gyu stood up as well, yet his heart felt heavy. “Of course…I will”

He walked her to the door and watched her as she talked to Momo who reacted to her excitedly, rubbing herself on her legs and rolling on the floor by her feet. Momo had a strange personality. His sister used to tell him that she was much like him;hot one moment, cold the next. Erratic. That’s what she told him when she’d given her to him as well. And he realised that she may have been right because Momo who never warmed up to Yeri before was seemingly really close to Hyerim, and that he found to be quite endearing.

“Good night, Minister Kim. See you tomorrow!” Hyerim greeted as she stepped outside into the empty corridor. It had to be almost two in the morning by then. He’d taken up much of her time.

“Good night, Detective Jung'' Sung Gyu said in return. She gave him a little wave, he waved back across the hall. When she entered her own flat and the door closed behind her, a strange emptiness settled in his heart. His apartment seemed to have stretched out, becoming ten times larger. The void in his heart; heavier. The coming days were uncertain, he knew. And scary. When he was with Hyerim, however, things did not seem so dark and sombre anymore. Perhaps her unrelenting optimism and positivity had begun to rub off on him too. Whatever it was, once she was gone, what Sung Gyu realised was this. For the first time in his life, Kim Sung Gyu missed her. He missed Jung Hyerim.

Author's note

Apologies for abandoning this story, I hadn't had a bigger regret in my life, so I decided to pick up exactly where I left off. I loved these characters so much and I believe they deserve so much better. Thank you for the people who read this and for the inspiration, and anyone of you eagerly waited for an update, I'm really sorry that I took so long. The reason why is that back when I was writing this in 2019, my cat Luke was sick and i was treating him. I loved him so much, he was my best friend, we were really close to each other, and it was while I was writing this that he suddenly passed away on 11th August 2019. This story then became a trigger for me, reminded me of him all the time. The depression of losing him was so much that I abandoned kpop altogether in that year until Sung Gyu returned, and only now, after Sung Gyu's cb did I gain the strength to write this again. It is a story that I absoluetly love, and for some reason never forgot the plot of. I will try my best to continue it; its not a very long story, 12 to 15 chapters maximum? I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter and Thank you, once again. I love you

 Take care,

Achini