Kim Sung Gyu didn’t always smoke, but when he did, he’d pick up a box of Marlboro from his stash and head straight up to the rooftop to pretend to be somebody else. He hated smoking, he hated how it made him feel so unlike himself. He didn’t smoke too often; he did, only when he couldn’t hold himself together anymore, with hopes that the nicotine would kill him sooner.

That evening, he stood against the balmy summer wind as the sun descended slowly in the western horizon; his eyes closed, his hands grasping the railing and his favourite music playing in his ears. He had never admitted this to anyone himself before; but Sung Gyu had always secretly wanted to be a musician. He believed in what he was good at, and singing had always been one of his best tropes. He’d seen and experienced the sense of freedom that music could possibly give him, a freedom almost too dangerous to pursue. If he had a chance to turn back and make different choices in life, that’s what he would have been. Not a judge, not a politician, not a bloody pushover who’d do anything to get away from a difficult situation, and most importantly, not someone who’d get involved in some secret judge’s meeting to bail a jerk out of jail.

Sung Gyu still had his eyes closed, yet he took a long burning breath of his cigarette and held hit against the railing, deep in thought. He let out a white cloud through his nostrils, he focused solely on the burning sensation inside him. He was so engrossed in the moment that he didn’t even notice that he had company.

All of a sudden, one of his ears was unplugged and Jung Hyerim stood beside him, the wire of his ear-phone dangling in one hand, and a Chupa-Chups in the other. “That’s a terrible way to die” She said, reached over and snatched the cigarette from his hand. Then she wordlessly tossed it down the building.

“What the ?” Was Sung Gyu’s initial reaction, not so pleased to have her there with him. Sung Gyu was trying to pull himself together; he needed to recharge before he could deal with the rest of his mess of a life. Entertaining Jung Hyerim had never been in his agenda.

“Wait” She continued, undeterred by his not-so-welcoming response. She unwrapped the lollipop and offered it to him like a trophy. “Here you go”

Sung Gyu glanced at the lollipop, then at the girl who held it, a small smile in her eyes. Jung Hyerim had smiling eyes. He wasn’t sure how it was possible to smile with just eyes and not lips, all until he met her. “What do you want?” He groaned at her, not taking up her offer.

Hyerim tutted disappointedly, reached for his hand and placed the candy between his fingers. “You’re the youngest in the legislation; too important to die young”

“Tsk” Sung Gyu rolled his eyes, smiling sarcastically from a side of his mouth almost naturally. He couldn’t believe the irony of it all, how perfect it all sounded, to be the youngest and yet one of the most prominent roles in the legislation; and yet it was his biggest ongoing nightmare.

“You don’t look very pleasant this evening, Judge Kim, anything I can help with?” Hyerim said in a pretentious formal tone. Sung Gyu met her eyes, caught a glint of mischief in them and he almost smiled. It was strange, Sung Gyu felt himself calming down a little, and the hazy twilight surrounding them, along with the wind gradually getting colder added the whole ambiance a nice touch. Sung Gyu turned back and leaned against the railing, resting his arms upon the iron rails. He had somehow unconsciously put the lolly in his mouth, and the strong burning sensation of the smoke was gradually being overpowered by the citrusy sweetness of the candy. It actually felt nice.

Hyerim turned to gaze out at the horizon, her short-cropped hair flying gracefully in the wind. If he looked at her properly, he would see the sunset reflecting in her autumn doe eyes. Sung Gyu cleared his throat and turned away. “It would help if you told me who my guard would be” Sung Gyu said, recalling their previous conversation from the day.

“Your guard?” Hyerim repeated as if it was unheard of, then tilted her head. “Ah guard...well, that’s going to be me”

Sung Gyu did a double take and almost chocked. “You?”

“Yeah...” Hyerim glanced up at him. “Why, is that a problem?”

“No, but...doesn’t NIS have more people? Why you?” He went on.

“Because its feasible? Ah, I don’t know”

Sung Gyu tried to absorb the new information for a while and tilted his head, perplexed. “But you can’t do that. We are literally neighbours”

“I already told them” She shrugged.

“What?” He turned to her full on, bewildered. Why would Jung Hyerim do that? What was she trying to achieve out of it?

“Not a big deal” She sighed. “I told them I can keep an eye on you”

“Like an eye on when I’d bail out another offender?” He raised his brows.

Hyerim was quiet for a moment, then let out a sigh, turning to face him. When Sung Gyu met her eyes, something twisted inside him. She was sincere, and her irises were like mirrors to her emotions, conveying everything that she hardly put into words. “Look. You’re just blowing this out of proportion” She said.

“Me? I’m blowing it out of proportion?” Sung Gyu scoffed. “It’s the last thing I would do, Jung, I’m the one caught up in a storm here”

“Listen” she said calmly, placing both her arms on the railing. “This is not going to be about the judgement. You hardly have anything to do with it. Although your words could have influenced in something, it’s the job of the actual judges of the case to pass a proper judgement, which they obviously failed in doing. What we’re focusing now is you. We’re focusing on tracking down the informants before they could possibly leak it to mainstream media. It’s only when that happens that you’d be in a storm”

Sung Gyu sighed. “Then what’s is happening now?”

“NIS is trying to keep the storm from happening” Hyerim bluntly replied.

Sung Gyu gazed at her for a moment, urging for her to continue; and when she didn’t, he turned around and grasped the railing grimly, popping the lollipop out of his mouth. “I don’t feel so good about it” He said.

“Like I said, we’re trying to find the-,”

“I think Yeri might be involved” Sung Gyu finally admitted, cutting her off. Hyerim fell quiet at that and moved cautiously towards him. “Your wife?”

Hyerim knew who his wife was. Hyerim knew how terribly their marriage was doing. She’d heard them arguing, she’d seen Yeri storm out of their flat after each of their fights. She’d seen them kissing madly against the door and him kicking it close behind them; yet Hyerim hadn’t said a word.

“Ex...wife” Sung Gyu corrected her resentfully, his eyes focused solely on the horizon. “We filed divorce this morning”

“Oh....” Hyerim fell quiet, and then she leaned her back against the railing. Her standing beside him like this, she appeared tiny, and the railing which he could only rest his elbows on, she could lean her head against. Sung Gyu glanced down at her and saw an expression on her face that was just so hard to read. Hyerim had been quiet about his relationship with Yeri all this time; but what had she been thinking about it? How did she feel? What did this silence mean? He stared at her, as if that would give him answers. Instead, she just shrugged and looked up at him, now appearing indifferent.

“Why do you think she might be involved?” Hyerim asked him.

“Well” He put a hand through his hair and met her eyes. “The case...I wasn’t sure in the very beginning until he heard the recording. It’s the one related to the cosmetic’s company-,”

“Belle-Vie” Hyerim added and nodded.

“-Yeah, that” Sung Gyu gulped. “The CEO of that company is a good friend of Yeri’s parents, and it was Yeri’s mother herself who approached the presiding judge responsible for the case. Then she told me to look into it....and I....that’s what I did” He sighed. “I was looking into it”

“So do you think they released the tape to get back to you or something?” Hyerim inquired.

Sung Gyu nodded stiffly in response. “Maybe. I’m not certain myself, but I feel they wanted me to look bad and ruin my reputation to avenge for what happened to her”

There was quietness in Hyerim’s part then and Sung Gyu glanced down at her to find her deep in thought. What was she thinking about? Sung Gyu wished he could delve into her mind at that moment. He wondered if she also thought that he was , that he deserved all that happened to him because he neglected a wife who didn’t love him, he stopped caring for a woman who never carried an iota of affection towards him. He wondered if she ever thought what he did could be justified in any possible way.

“Did anything bad happen to her? Something that they can hold against you?” Hyerim asked him then, and he was surprised that he’d been more or less right about what she was thinking.

Did anything happen? Did anything happen really? He couldn’t recall a lot of things, as all that they’ve been doing the past few months was arguing. He’d never raised a hand on her; he never would, that was against his moral principles. And he’d always treated women with respect. He might have said a few cruel things, but that as well, he had never intended to insult her in a wrong way. The two of them fought, they argued; but not in a way that would emotionally scar either of them. But when he thought about their relationship a little in depth, he realised that there was this something, something that she’d definitely hold against him.

“Well, I refused to have children with her” he admitted to her for the first time in his life.

Yeri was really fond of children. Sung Gyu was too, and he’d dreamed million times of having some of his own one day. But with Yeri, he knew that it was simply impossible. They were never ready for parenthood; and a child would have been a lot of responsibility. The two of them had completely different perspectives on child rearing. Sung Gyu thought of it as a blessing; he hadn’t felt so all the time, but ever since his niece and nephew came into his life, Sung Gyu’s outlook on children changed completely. Yeri on the other hand thought of children as some sort of a mechanism which could have magically fixed their derailing marriage. She had told him that it would patch things up, that they might even fall in love with each other again. But what sort of a world was she expecting to bring a child into? To parents who couldn’t tolerate each other? To a house which felt so much like a trap? To a place full off unhappiness and bitterness with the child’s sole purpose being fixing something which was literally never there? Sung Gyu did not want that to happen; and it was the only reason why he thought children was a bad idea. But Yeri, of course, understood his reasons differently, and she’d most certainly hold it against him.

“You don’t like children?” Hyerim’s words floated into his mind, then; and he glanced down at her to find her gazing over the lavender sky. Sung Gyu swallowed thickly, not understanding whether it was a question that she expected an answer to.

“Oh, umm...” He narrowed his eyes at the lavender sky himself, and he felt Hyerim looking up at him. Then she suddenly came to, as if it finally occurred to her.

“Ugh sorry...I didn’t mean to- I mean....” she struggled, her cheeks blushing crimson in a desperate attempt to take back the question.

“That’s fine” He sighed. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure if it was something that he wanted to answer to, so he changed the topic instead. “Well...I can’t think of anything else that she’d hold against me”

Hyerim hummed, and then went quiet for a moment, thoughtfully staring ahead. Sung Gyu doubted if she even heard him, as she seemed to be in some sort of a trance, almost mystified. It took him back to where she was a quiet part of the past five years of his life; where she was the quiet bystander in every crash and fall. He could remember that time when she offered help upon him returning home terribly ill. Sung gyu had a bad case of low blood sugar, and there was a time in his life when it happened more often than not. Yeri wasn’t always around him to help him through that struggle. However, Hyerim was there, frequently visiting him and treating him back to health whenever possible. And then there was that time when he and Yeri finally went on their separate ways and Sung Gyu nearly passed out drunk. Hyerim, despite her small built had managed to usher him home all the way from wherever he’d been in that cold night. After all that, Sung Gyu had never wondered why she tried so much and so hard for him, why she went through so much for him. He’d always thought she did that for everybody. But now that he was thinking abut it, there weren’t many people that she associated with. It was almost always him.

“You’re not going to jail” Hyerim said all of a sudden, her voice strong and determined, and Sung Gyu blinked at her. Only then did he realise that he’d been gazing at her, perhaps in the same transfixed gaze that she’d had as she watched the descending sun.

“What do you mean?” Sung Gyu asked her in return.

Hyerim pursed her lips and lowered her head, looking down at her clenched hands on the railing. “Well, back in the interrogation room, that seemed to be what you were thinking about. That, and about losing your job”

Sung Gyu could swear his heart stopped for a moment. He wanted to ask her how she knew, did she look into his mind? Did she read him right through his eyes? How would she know? Sung Gyu couldn’t bring himself to say a coherent word, however. His heart had stopped, and even as he gazed down at her, he felt strange things inside him, strange, indescribable things, all directed to her.

“If you’re wondering how I know...” Hyerim said slowly, glanced up at him and smiled. When she did, he could swear he saw stars in her eyes. She beamed up at him, and as her stray strands of hair danced slowly around her face, Hyerim was all sorts of beautiful, mesmerizing even. He found himself just staring at her, fighting his strange urge to feel the tangles of her hair.

“Anyway...” She sighed, her brilliant smile slowly morphing into a frown. “Things might not look so great at the moment, but...” She raised a hand and placed it comfortingly on his arm, making him stiffen upon the gesture. She looked up and met his eyes. There was something warm and comforting about her. Something effervescent, something which still felt like home. Sung Gyu felt himself dying a little death inside when she once again gave him a tiniest of a smile.

“You’re not going to jail, Kim. You’re not losing your job. I promise you, I will never let them happen” She finally told him. And when she turned around and traversed across to the door, leaving Sung Gyu behind to his own thoughts, Sung Gyu realised, that all his thoughts were strangely transfixed on her.

Sung Gyu hated the media as much as the next person; he could admit to that with confidence. He’d hated that ever since he got into this profession, for all the nasty cruel things that they were capable of. He’d never even imagined that he’d quite possibly be caught up in anything that involved them; and now, as he stood at the verge of getting caught in a media storm, he found himself constantly running away from them.

That Monday morning when he reported to work, what he happened to find in their reception area was his secretary engaged in a hushed conversation with an impeccably dressed young woman. She was in a beige suit, her hair in a perfect chignon and a laptop as well as a bunch of papers in her hand. It was in his closer inspection that he noticed the small recording device in her hand. Sung Gyu stood in the middle of the hallway, his guards standing behind him, and he cleared his throat, grabbing the two ladies’ attention. His secretary greeted him almost robotically; the media woman, however, greeted him with one of her small pretentious smiles. Sung Gyu was glad that he had this uncanny ability to read media people right off the first page.

“Oh, I’m Yoo Minyoung” The girl in beige introduced herself, a hint of satoori in her voice. She had a shifty pair of eyes, he noticed. She had the eyes of someone who could manipulate one’s emotions with nothing so much as a single glance. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure why he was being visited by media, unless of course, something unexpected had happened. He stepped towards her cautiously and acknowledged her with a nod.

“Good to meet you” He said with a pleasant smile. “To what do I owe this pleasure so early in the morning?”

The girl-Minyoung glanced around herself almost in mock fascination and then finally met his eyes. “Well, I’m from The Seoul Report, and I was wondering...well” She halted and gave one of her charming smiles. “It would be such a great honour if we could do an interview with you, sir, the youngest minister in the legislation; a great honour, truly”

“An interview?” Sung Gyu blinked doubtfully. It wasn’t his first time that some dodgy Seoul life magazine had approached him for an interview. He did give twice, and the pieces went great. It wasn’t everyday that someone of his age would hold a high position in the political arena, so the belief was that he was an inspiration for so many others; that he was finally breaking down the barriers and social norms towards age and maturity among politicians. He liked the exposure, if he was to be honest. He sort of liked all that attention. But now it’s been long since he was appointed and the buzz about his position had more or less died down. As per the current circumstances, on the other hand; a magazine wanting an interview seemed to ring warning bells around him.

Sung Gyu broke into a small pretentious chuckle. “Well, that’s quite unexpected, actually. This is a bit sudden, I feel?”

Minyoung laughed as well. “I’m sorry if this does look sudden. But we’ve been meaning to put up this piece for a while...but we didn’t find the right time”

“So, you believe that now is the right time?” Sung Gyu raised his brows.

“Never too late!” Minyoung said cheerfully. “So, will we be able to spare a few minutes? It won’t take that long...”

Sung Gyu didn’t think, given the situation, it’s the right time to speak to anyone representing the mainstream media. The talk was that the informants themselves were related to an unknown media outlet, and that could be anyone. It was only a matter of time until the clips got released to the public by whatever means, and whatever decision he made now could either help him or stand against him at that point. The problem was though, he could never be sure. Media could twist and warp his words, leaving him no space to defend himself. And given that it was media anyway, the chances of things working out in his favour was barely a minimal.

On the other hand, what were the chances of this being the same media outlet as the informant? What was the possibility? He couldn’t question that, surely.

So, he did what he thought was the best.

“Let me think about it first...” He told her, left his secretary to take care of the rest and went straight to his office. Once inside, he headed straight to the bathroom just in case and dialled Hyerim’s number.

Hyerim picked up at the second ring.

“Kim” She greeted him in her usual upbeat tone.

“There’s someone from the Seoul Report here for an interview. Do you think it’s anything suspicious?”

“The Seoul Report, you say...” Hyerim repeated thoughtfully. “What was the reporters name again?”

“Someone called Yoo Minyoung”

“Yoo Minyoung from Seoul Report...” Hyerim muttered thoughtfully and he could hear her muttering the name again with the sound of computer keys in the background. “Is she still there?” She then asked him.

“I don’t know” Sung Gyu sighed. “I left my secretary to take care of it”

“Yoo Minyoung” Hyerim seemed to read out from a screen. “Hmm, she doesn’t look dodgy, but we can never tell...oh wait Seoul Report is the online magazine yeah?”

“No idea” Sung Gyu went.

“It is...well, there’s nothing bad so far with the Seoul report. Kim, what do you think?”

“What do I think?” Sung Gyu reiterated. “I don’t know...” He sighed, traversed his room and peaked past his door, only to find his secretary talking to Minyoung still. “She’s still here”

“I’m looking into her” Hyerim told him distractedly. Sung Gyu returned to his office and fell into his plush chair as the sound of keyboard typing sounded on the other side of the phone. Sung Gyu could hear her breath; even and regular, he heard her humming gently, and he could almost make the mental picture of her in his mind.

“Yoo Minyoung is a new addition to the team...hmm...looks like a desperate attempt to impress...”

“I don’t care really” Sung Gyu ran a hand through his hair. “Should I just get rid of her?”

“This could also work on your favour though” Hyerim went on distractedly. "In case things...turn out for the worst, there would be at least one article coming up with something positive about you, don’t you think?”

Sung Gyu contemplated it for a moment. “How’s the magazine’s reputation?”

“Not entirely sure” Hyerim murmured. “But they do come up on top in the search engines”

Sung Gyu mulled it over, weighing his options. He had a busy day today, packed with meetings and discussions; and if he had to spend half of it trying to fend off a reporter hanging on to him like a leech, he’d hardly get anything done with. On the other hand, if he did the interview, he could either be putting hay to the fire, or benefiting himself if it actually worked in his favour. Two contradictory ideals, really. But when he thought about it, he realised that he hadn’t much to lose anyway. The news would come out the best way or the worst, and it didn’t matter how much hay he put into the fire, it was blazing and burning him anyway. If he did the interview, let it take whatever the turn it would, at least he’d get the reporter off his back; whatever the consequences may be.

“You know, I’d look more into it and get back to you. Meanwhile, don’t do anything. Stall for time” Hyerim told him from the other end. He opened his mouth to respond, agree to her idea. But all before he could get a word past his lips, a knock sounded on his door.

“I’ll get back to you” Sung Gyu said into the phone and stuffed it into his coat pocket, just as his secretary peaked her head through the door.

“Sir”

“Yes?”

“The reporter doesn’t comply. Should we call in the guards?”

“No” Sung Gyu held up a palm and finally climbed on his feet. “Let her in, I’ll do the interview”

The secretary stared at him for a moment, confused perhaps, by his questionable decision. When he raised his brows at her, she nodded and disappeared past the door. It was only then did he realise it; there he was, doing that again. Being a bloody pushover and let the others get their way, only because he needed it to be over.

Sung Gyu knew that he needed to stop doing this. But how? The answer would forever be beyond him.

Due to a few other engagements that he needed to be involved in, Sung Gyu couldn’t go forth with the interview for a long while. That time showed how dedicated of a reporter that Yoo Minyoung was, as she remained seated in the reception area the entire time, not showing even a hint of disappointment every time he passed by. He had to rush for a meeting with the Chief of the legislation herself, and afterwards a board meeting which took a little too long. He was able to come out only around the time of lunch; and when he checked in the lobby again, she was still there, undeterred and smiling at him as soon as he met her eyes. Sung Gyu had to ignore her for a moment and head back into his office.

“The reporter is still here” He told his secretary, an accusing tone in his voice. He was tired, if he was to be honest. He was hungry and he needed his space. But how could he even head out the office with that girl sitting out there waiting for him?

“She’s not budging, sir” The secretary answered tiredly. “And I let her wait as you said so”

“As I said so” Sung Gyu muttered to himself and sighed. He turned back to the secretary. “What do I have after lunch?”

“A couple of things...” As the secretary listed down the rest of his schedules for the day, his head felt heavier and heavier. There was still no news from Hyerim, and god knows when they could find a lead. His life was only getting more and more complex. In that sense just what could a measly internet magazine do to him? The worst had been already done.

“Fine” Sung Gyu said, tugging at the knot of his tie. “Let her in”

The secretary looked at him doubtfully. “But sir...”

“Do we have another choice?” He returned tiredly.

They could get the guards, alright. They could fend her off. But she’d come back again and again. Reporters were like flies around turds. They kept coming back until they got what they wanted. The worse he could expect was them twisting the word around unless he actually and humbly complied.

“Okay...” The secretary nodded and walked backwards as if she was waiting for him to change his mind. He didn’t. He hadn’t the sheer capacity to. He only returned to his table and fell into his plush chair. He then turned his phone off and stuffed it into the drawer, locking it in case of any interruption and waited.

Yoo Minyoung entered the room a few minutes later. She was small but quite beautiful, he had to say. She greeted him with a smile, and he climbed up on his feet. He’d done a couple of interviews already, so he wasn’t feeling much of tension. What worried him were the consequences. But as it started and as the conversations rolled on, his doubts and worries flittered away.

The questions were the same, boring and nondescript, yet he answered to all of them, kindly and diligently. Ever since he received the position, there was this one thought he’d always had in mind. He was a public representative. He represented the people who brought him to where he was; and for this reason, the impression he gave especially mattered. He could be intimidating and authoritative almost throughout his ordinary life. But whenever needed, he could be charming and humble, he could pretend to be somebody else.

It was somewhere into the interview that a loud commotion interrupted them. It was coming from the general direction of the main hall. He looked out his window, and downstairs he could see a few police cars and some of the patrol policemen walking around. The commotion got closer and closer. The interview halted and Yoo Minyoung stared up at him, almost terrified. Soon, the commotion was even closer; and the doors to his office burst open. Two of his guards entered first, and then, much to his befuddlement, walked in Jung Hyerim, her fellow team mates on tow.

“Judge Kim” She said, glanced over at the reporter and then up at him. He could swear he saw fire in her eyes. “Judge Kim. This is an emergency situation. You need to come with us to the NIS headquarters”

“What’s going on here?” Sung Gyu asked doubtfully. Everything was obvious. There was no emergency situation. But what was he supposed to do? He knew that Hyerim was crazy, spontaneous. And when he met her eyes, he saw her signalling at him. The interview. She’d somehow figured he'd go ahead with it, must have tried to get hold of him, but his phone was off. She'd wanted to interrupt the interview. And for that reason, she had crashed into the Ministry of Legislation.

“Right” He looked at Minyoung and let out a sigh. “I’m afraid we have to stop here”

Yoo Minyoung was probably going to write a piece of this havoc Hyerim created. And perhaps that was what she wanted too. Sung Gyu knew she was going to serve a jail sentence one of these days. And this was probably going to be it.

“Judge Kim, shall we go?” Hyerim interrupted him exasperatedly and Sung Gyu was this close to rolling his eyes at her.

“Alright...I will see you outside” He told her and watched her as she retreated out the door.

Jung Hyerim; one of those days she was going to drive him crazy. He wasn’t sure why she would even do this to herself, willingly putting her entire career in risk. But one of those days, she was going to be locked up in jail for him, and he’d have nothing to do about it.