Jung Hyerim didn’t end up going to jail, obviously. But she did end up being replaced by a different detective in Sung Gyu’s investigation. Sung Gyu only got to know about her transfer upon arriving at the NIS for yet another round of questioning the next morning. He had expected to find Hyerim, as usual, in the interrogation room. But whom he was greeted by was an unfamiliar young man with hawk like eyes and greasy dark hair, animatedly arguing with Hyerim herself. Hyerim did the introductions; "Woohyun, meet Judge Kim, and Judge Kim, meet Woohyun, he’d be responsible of the investigation today onwards”.

Sung Gyu wasn’t surprised, to say the least. He had expected the worse. Once he arrived at the NIS office the other day after she broke quite a havoc at the legislation office, things didn’t turn out to be very pretty. Hyerim was pissed, Hyerim’s chief was pissed, and worse of all, he was pissed. They had quite an argument, Hyerim called him an idiot for not listening to what she’d told him and also for tossing his phone away, then Sung Gyu happened to ask what her problem was. He supposed that question sort of got to her, that she fell quiet and appeared a bit upset there onwards.

The eventuality of the entire commotion was that he barely dodged a bullet from being interviewed by a reporter who had previously done a controversial piece in a different magazine, which was buried through connection; and of course, the investigator was changed.

“Would you still be my guard?” Sung Gyu asked her as the new investigator-Woohyun disappeared out of year shot. Sung Gyu didn’t really like the new one. He looked sort of shifty, and he didn’t like the way he looked at people, as if everyone else around him was below him.

“Maybe” Hyerim shrugged. She’d been of little words since he told her off the other day. He met her at the super market of their apartment complex last night, and she wasn’t bothering him like she used to. Which was good, in a way. But he sort of missed that too.

“I don’t want that guy guarding me at home” Sung Gyu mumbled honestly. “He looks like...I don’t know, like he’d kick Momo or something”

Hyerim kicked him on the sole of his shoe. “Ssh! Do you want things to get worse than this?”

“It wouldn’t have been like this if you had ing thought things through” Sung Gyu hissed back at her.

“Don’t make it sound like my fault”

“Well, guess what? It is”

“Any problem, you two?” A third voice interrupted their hushed conversation and Sung Gyu looked up to find that Woohyun had returned to the room and was leaning against the table, observing them with a mug of coffee in hand.

“No” Said Hyerim, pushing back her short-cropped hair. “Well, I’ll be going then”

Woohyun raised his brows at her, and the two men in the room watched her curiously as she made her way to the door. Just as she was about to unlatch the door handle, Woohyun called out to her.

“I thought we were doing this together”

There was a sharp hiss coming from her, and she turned to look at them over her shoulder. Hyerim was blushing in embarrassment, her face turning pink, eyes narrowed as she looked at the either of them. It took everything from Sung Gyu to hold himself from letting out a snort. Jung Hyerim was ridiculous, really. But he was glad that she was not completely suspended from the case, otherwise he wouldn’t know what he would do with himself.

“Sorry about that, Judge Kim” Woohyun addressed him, looking at him with a sharp gaze. “Little miss Jung is just being uncooperative today”

Little miss Jung? Little Miss Jung? Sung Gyu knew that this guy was a bit dodgy all from the beginning. He was getting too comfortable with his for co-workers. Sung Gyu narrowed his eyes at him, observing him closely. Woohyun was small himself. Sung Gyu could probably rest his arm on top of his head. But he seemed to carry himself with too much of pride and appeared to be the epitome of pretentious wit. Sung Gyu didn’t like him from the very first glance.

However, both Hyerim and Woohyun sat on one side of the table and Sung Gyu sat on the other. Sung Gyu tried to catch Hyerim’s eyes, but she seemed to be still mad at him. Woohyun, appearing more relaxed than he probably should, placed an elbow propped up on the table and rested his chin in his hand. “So, shall we start?” He asked them. And they did.

As per Sung Gyu’s suspicion, Hyerim had advised Woohyun to look into Yeri’s side of the situation. The interrogation today was mainly focused on her and Sung Gyu found it incredibly uncomfortable to be talking about sensitive details of his married life, especially with a man who was nothing but a stranger. Hyerim, of course, was quiet and professional throughout the questioning, and Sung Gyu could feel her gaze upon him then and there like a silent beaconing. He hated how aware of her he was, down to every single movement she made. For some reason, he felt that Hyerim was quite sensitive when it came down to Yeri and him. He had thought it was because she’d seen and known Yeri and him a little more than she should; but there always seemed to be a tad bit more than that. And today, as so much of his most intimate details were laid out in the open, he could feel Hyerim’s tension even more intensely than he used to.

“Was there anything that you believe your wife would hold against you?” Woohyun asked, more or less the same question that Hyerim did, the other day. Sung Gyu clenched his hands under the table, and he could feel, more intensely than ever, Hyerim stiffen beside him. He did the mistake of glancing at her; they met each other’s eyes. Hyerim gazed at him, dazed in her own as if she was seeing a different person. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure what was happening at that moment. But his thoughts were transfixed on her. He suddenly didn’t want to talk about it; talk about Yeri or his marriage or everything that he used to be. He wanted to leave everything aside, and just for one moment, be lost in Hyerim’s eyes.

“Judge Kim?”

It was at that moment that he ripped his gaze off her, and Hyerim looked down at her clenched hands.

“Yes? Oh, um...” Sung gyu turned back to Woohyun and let out a heavy sigh. He had already revealed more than enough intimate details about his marriage, and this bit, which Hyerim already knew anyway, could hardly affect him now. “Well, I-I refused to have children...with her”

There was a moment of silence as Woohyun noted it down.

“Any specific reason?” Woohyun prodded on.

“Any specific reason as to why I refused to have children?” Sung Gyu rephrased.

“Yes”

“Well...” He sighed, leaning back in his chair and ran a hand down his face. He wasn’t sure if these were the sort of details that he actually wanted to share with a complete stranger, especially with Hyerim sitting right in front of him. For some reason, Sung Gyu felt reluctant to go into the details in front of her than revealing it to Woohyun who probably felt nothing of it. Sung Gyu didn’t like how Hyerim appeared constantly agitated, how she seemed to get affected by every little thing that he’d been saying for the past hour. He wanted to know her reasons; but he supposed that wasn’t exactly the conversation that he could have in an interrogation.

“Well?”

“Yeri and I had an unhappy marriage” Sung gyu returned in a steady voice. “And her idea of having children was contradicting with mine, just like many of our ideas did. So, the most rational decision was having none at all”

“So why do you think she would hold this against you?”

Sung Gyu shrugged. “She’s pretty unhappy about it”

Woohyun nodded, noted it down himself, and as he did Sung Gyu glanced over at Hyerim once again. He was doing this too often than not, looking at her as if searching for clarification. Clarification for what? He asked himself even as he traced every visible inch of her. He observed the way her eyes changed, lips twisted, and fingers tapped impatiently on the table before him. She was supposed to be engaged in the interrogation. But she wasn’t. She appeared to be in her own world where everything seemed to piss her off.

Woohyun cleared his throat and Sung Gyu glanced over at him only to find him looking back and forth at Hyerim and him, his brows raised. He caught Sung Gyu watching him and seemed to come to.

“Right...Judge Kim. So, you said that this happened as a favour for your mother in law. Do they often ask you for favours?”

“They do. Not very often, per se. But they had the feeling that...”

The interrogation continued, and thereon Sung Gyu tried not to catch a glimpse of Hyerim for the rest of the session. She tried to be more involved in it by contributing with her own input on certain things. It went on for just about another half an hour. Once it was al done, Woohyun gathered his things in his arms and climbed up on his feet. So did Sung Gyu, and they shook each other’s hands.

“Glad to meet you Judge Kim. Looking forward to working with you”

Woohyun’s hands were clammy, like he was a nervous wreck all around the day. But to be as polite and charming as he could, he smiled back at him. The three of them exited the interrogation room together, and outside, two of Sung Gyu’s guards were patiently waiting for him. Woohyun looked at either of them, then at Sung Gyu, his eyes unreadable. “Well I suppose you’d have to come in again. Regardless, whatever the advancements in the investigation, we’d let you know”

“Fine” Sung Gyu nodded and smiled. The three of them made forward down the corridor in silence until they reached a door. Then Woohyun turned to face Hyerim. “Jung, join me for lunch today?”

Sung Gyu raised his head from his phone and narrowed his eyes at the other. Was this guy for real?

Hyerim looked at Sung Gyu, just a second of a glace, and turned back to the other. “Shut up Nam”

Woohyun chuckled, this funny, over the top chuckle with jostling shoulders and all. Then he patted on Hyerim’s arm, waved him goodbye and disappeared past the door. Hyerim watched after him as he went, then let out a heavy sigh. The expression on her face at that point, was unreadable.

“You and Woohyun seem to be pretty close” Sung Gyu commented, muttering under his breath as the two of them traversed the vast corridor. Hyerim wasn’t in the best of her moods; it was the first time in five years that he was seeing her...angry, and it felt so foreign to him that he could hardly believe she actually had that side of her.

“So? What is it to you?” Hyerim hit back without even any hesitation. If it was another time, Sung Gyu figured, she would have even put a little effort to deny that. He was surprised by her straightforwardness.

“Nothing” Sung Gyu shrugged. “So why did you reject his offer?”

“Not any of your business” Hyerim said and started walking faster.

“You’ve been picking at business which aren’t yours as well” Sung Gyu returned as he quickly caught up with her. “He’s weird but he looks like a good guy” He added to further taunt her. He didn’t know why he felt that he should. He didn’t like Woohyun all because he acted like a bloody know-it-all. What made it worse was that he had this way of looking at Hyerim which constantly climbed up his nerves. Then here was Hyerim, making the entire ordeal appear even stranger. And now he wanted to get to the bottom of it.

“Right” Hyerim said dismissively and halted as they reached the main hall. Then the two of them stood facing each other; her, more than a foot below him but a more significant presence than anyone had ever been. He met her eyes. “Look. I pick on your business because its my job” She said.

“I’m talking about things that’s before this came up” Sung Gyu returned challengingly. For some reason, he felt the need to retaliate to every attack she threw on his way, hold her down and see how much she’d fight against his restrains.

“Like what?” She hissed back.

“Like...my life”

At this point, she fell quiet; fire blazing in her eyes. Sung Gyu realised that he’d somehow dragged her to the edge of her patience, and this was the point where she gave up trying. For the first time ever, he was seeing emotions inflicted in the depths of her eyes, emotions he had never before witnessed in her. He was seeing anger, rage passion and so much more that no words existed to explain. And they had him drawn to her, more and more in a way he couldn’t possibly describe. It wasn’t him who was holding her down, now, he was being held down by her, the strength of her gaze, the might in her presence; everything. He was not sure what to feel anymore.

“Sir” A voice interrupted his thoughts, and the moment between them so much as evaporated at that point of time. His face heated up, realising that he’d been lost in his world among an unsuspecting crowd, a place so unfamiliar in a situation that he shouldn’t drive away from.

Sung Gyu looked up to see his secretary who’d been in the lobby for the past hour or so, hurrying her way towards him. “The venue of the meeting with the presidential committee has changed, Sir. We need to go soon”

He was slowly shifting from one world to the other, and Hyerim moved away from him, leaving him behind with the qualms of his life.

“Right. Okay....” He nodded at the Secretary and glanced back one last time at the way that Hyerim disappeared among the crowd. It must be all the weight on his shoulders, it must be all the complexities in his life; whatever it was, its been giving him emotions, completely uncalled for. He felt things he hadn’t felt for a long time in his life; warmth, comfort, passion...all of which were directed on her, Jung Hyerim.

“Sir?”

“Hm?” Sung Gyu looked back at the secretary, and it hit him. “Oh...yes, I’m coming” He said, let out the weight in his heart with a sigh and followed his secretary right after her hurried feet.

That evening, he had to meet Yeri and her parents to go forth with their divorce proceedings. He hadn’t expected anything quite as fancy; but when they entered Yeri’s parents two storey mansion that evening, he was welcomed warmly by her parents, and her mother was making the maids cook up a storm for him.

“How are you?” Yeri asked him in her soft concerned voice as she led him into her study. Their lawyer, one of his batchmates and close friend by the name of Jang Dong Woo had agreed to meet them in a time convenient for both of them; and he was already there awaiting them.

“Been better” Sung Gyu sighed. Yeri looked expensive and beautiful as ever. And it could have been the tricks in his eyes; but she looked brighter and so much happier than she’d been with him. “Did you talk to Dong Woo?”

“Been talking to him as we waited” Yeri smiled slightly. “He’d been waiting to see you”

Sung Gyu had known Dong Woo longer than he’d known Yeri. They met back in college, and although they were a year apart, they made good friends. Sung Gyu always believed that it was all due to Dong Woo’s kind and bright personality; otherwise Sung Gyu wasn’t one of those people who actually made any friends.

“Hyung” Dong Woo greeted him upon his arrival and folded him into a warm hug. “How are you?”

“Good. You?” Sung Gyu asked him, smiling at him warmly. There has always been something about Dong Woo that has constantly kept him comfortable. He was that one friend of his who’d naturally make him feel like home.

“I’ve been great! Life’s been busy but...”

The two of them chatted for a while and caught up with each other as Yeri’s maids served them with tea and biscuits, the normal routine in her house. As late evening approached, however, Sung Gyu informed his friend that they better go forth with the proceedings, and the atmosphere between them just fell dark. As always, he just needed to get it out of his way. It was getting late already, and he wanted to escape the situation as soon as possible, despite how nice it had been to meet his college mate again.

When it came down to work, Dong Woo transformed into a completely different person. He filled him on the important details with absolute precision, never missing a point, and both Yeri and Sung Gyu followed through, signing where they should, nodding and shaking their heads yes and no. The apartment was Sung Gyu’s, the trust fund was completely back in Yeri’s hands. Sung Gyu would get to keep the cat, of course; and he smiled only a little when Yeri jokingly mentioned that she might visit then and there just to see her. The occasion was light hearted than he expected, and Yeri was happy and cheerful throughout the progression. They signed a final set of papers, stood up and shook their hands in a fervent, a sense of finality falling upon them.

It felt strange, and Sung Gyu tried not to think too much about it. Years back, he had felt Yeri would be a constant in his life. He had loved her in the earliest days, in a manner that he couldn’t imagine his life without her. In the odd days when they’d be alone, he’d held her from her back and lied together in the sofa, the sound of the TV taking over the quiet of his living room and the scent of her hair in his breath. He had felt a sense of belongingness within her. Having lived a life where he never felt like he belonged or fit in, having Yeri in his life felt like a breath of fresh air. Years later, however, now divorced and continuing in different paths, Sung Gyu began to realise how different their lives had truly been. He didn’t belong with her, like he hadn’t belonged with anyone. For one, he’d never fancied the idea of sitting in the same table and having a meal together. His own family hardly ever did that. But with Yeri, in her strange, closed-up family life style, it’s a must to sit in the same table and dine together, even though two of the diners were completely unrelated; one an unrelated lawyer, and the other the man that she just divorced.

It has always been the same in the Song household. It didn’t matter whom they were hosting the dinner for; be it a rival or someone who’d tried to sabotage their family or threatened to kill their entire second generation or, in this case, the man whom their daughter just divorced. Back when they were still married, Yeri used to host a lot of dinner parties of her own and he had, although unwillingly so, tagged along with her; and there was something that she always used to tell him as they laid out the table together. “Anything can be resolved with a nice hearty meal”

Apparently, this didn’t apply to everyone because as it was evident, a single hearty meal they’d shared over the years hadn’t succeeded in patching up their marriage. And now there they were, sharing their final hearty meal together.

Sung Gyu didn’t speak much. That’s how all of these family meals went. Her parents talked to him, asked questions with their eyes still crinkling as if he hadn’t caused years of trauma to their only daughter. He replied to them just briefly, and as always, they seemed to be satisfied with his answers. He was glad that he had Dong Woo with him; otherwise the whole set up would have driven him insane. Sung Gyu tried to talk to Dong Woo then and there and observed as the dishes arrived. As a waiter came and placed tall glasses of wine to accompany each set of plates, Sung Gyu noticed, there was none placed in front of Yeri. Instead, it was just a glass of water. Just a nondescript event, he noted. Nothing special. But it seemed to carry a deep meaning, something that he was simply afraid to wonder, lest it broke his stance.

Somewhere in the conversation, however, Yeri became the center of attention. They all talked about what they were going to do in their life for the long run; Dong Woo said that they were expecting their second, Sung Gyu just shrugged and said nothing, unable to think where his derailed life was now going to lead to. When it came down to Yeri, however, both his mother and she giggled, and Sung Gyu had been married to Yeri for long enough to understand her enough. He could still read her like an open book.

He wasn’t sure what broke his heart the most, knowing that she’d been so careful whenever they went to bed together, accepting his reluctance to have a child, or that she’d let him go just so that she could finally allow her dreams to come true. Sung Gyu knew that she’d always hoped for a child, they’ve had that discussion enough times. But every time it had ended with an argument, and Sung Gyu repeatedly had to make the same and the same point. Having a child was not the right way to fix things. But he hadn’t realised even then that there was nothing that they could do to fix anything. They had died almost before they could realise it. He supposed what hurt the most was that now she had her life sorted out, and all she had to do was chuck him out, like he’d been the only obstacle standing in her way of a well-deserved happy ending.

When they had married, he’d thought his happy ending was her; and he wouldn’t lie, she had often made him feel that way. But for what? Tonight, as his future lied uncertain ahead for him, their past dissolved into oblivion, as if nothing they’d done and said mattered.

Later that night, as he was just about to leave, he realised that he had just one thing that hadn’t been sorted out yet. Chances were that this would be the last time that they met each other, and as of now, he hadn’t nothing to lose from their end anyway. So once they bid Dong Woo goodbye and watched him pull out from the driveway, Sung Gyu buried his hands in his pockets in an attempt to drive the cold away and stared ahead. “Can I have a quick chat?” He asked. He didn’t want to launch into it; given her probable state, it wasn’t right of him to. Yeri nodded, unsmiling. “Let’s walk”

Yeri’s family home was situated in a famous tourist location, a Hanok village which drew a large number of local and foreign tourists, especially during this time of the year. The narrow walking path was aligned with Hanok houses, ordinary and modernised like hers, on the either sides. There were the odd little cafes, a convenience store and graffitied walls which made the area a popular tele-drama location. Late in the night however, the roads were quiet and ghostly, only the perfectly aligned street lights keeping the empty roads in company. But both Sung Gyu and Yeri had found solidarity in the silence of the streets. It wasn’t the first time that they walked these cross roads together, each time the circumstances different. This time, he knew for a fact, would be their last.

Both of them walked on for a quiet moment, Sung Gyu trying to work out how to broach the subject in his mind. He could just tell her that he was being investigated for bailing on inside connections, he could tell her of his suspicions but that he couldn’t possibly pull off without sounding like he suspected her. It was a matter so sensitive that even walking around the bush was difficult without tipping her off the edge. And Sung Gyu had always known Yeri to be the type to take everything personally, even if it was a matter completely unrelated to her. He had to remind himself, he was walking the dangerous waters. But still, he had to know, and he had to tell her before the NIS got hold of her.

“So” Yeri started as if she couldn’t bear to be in his silence for too long. “I gather that you had something to talk about”

When he looked down at her, the street light from above fell upon her gracefully, and he realised, although he hadn’t noticed before, Yeri had really blossomed; like everything in her life became better as soon as she chucked him off her life.

“To tell you, rather” He corrected her, and cleared his throat. He still wasn’t sure how he was going to break it to her. They passed by a familiar place that they’d visited before; it was a nail parlour, one of those odd places that women visited and they had this nice little coffeeshop accompanying them, a dainty cobble path leading to it, flowers blooming on the either sides and potted plants when spring came about. She and Sung Gyu had come here for coffee numerous times before. And once she’d made him take a photo of her, sitting on one of the cold rocks in the minimalistic garden. At the thought of the nail shop, he realised that the best way to go forwards was to launch one thing at a time, like how they women got their nails done. Slowly, delicately, one nail at a time.

“Yeri do you remember that one friend of your mother, the lady who has a cosmetic brand?” He started, slowly, casually as they came to a halt. Yeri sat down on a stone bench, appearing slightly fatigued. Sung Gyu remained standing, afraid of the intimacy that would be brought upon them would they sit together.

Yeri nodded, almost instantly. “Belle-Vie, I remember her”

Sung Gyu nodded and stalled for time by glancing down at his phone. “Well” he started, lifting his head. “It was her, as I remember, that I had to do a particular favour for? One of their executives, wasn’t it?”

“Favour?” Yeri tilted her head. “Not that I recall, really. Why do you ask?”

Sung Gyu almost rolled his eyes in exasperation. Of course, she wouldn’t remember; neither would her mother. It was only until they had their work done, and it didn’t matter who suffered the consequences because it was never going to be them.

“No, just...” He sighed, and as he felt like his legs were about to give away, he sat on the stone bench a couple of feet away and buried his face in his hands. He had done them a favour so many years ago, and at what cost? What had he gained from it anyway? What had anyone gained from it? The ones who asked for the favour couldn’t recall it let alone pay the gratitude, and there he was, watching as his life crumbled apart. It must be so easy for them, all they had to do was just ask and entice him. “Please look into it” her mother had told him over one of their fancy house hold dinners, and despite feeling trapped by his sense of morality and his best judgement, he had to agree. Because Yeri’s world was the only place he did actually fit in, and he had to stay in their good side. He had to stay accepted and loved. He had never realised that there will come a day that none of this would be relevant.

“Are you okay?” Yeri’s feeble voice floated into his mind, and Sung Gyu realised with a start that they were still in the middle of nowhere, just the two of them.

“No” He let out a sigh. She had forgotten, so there’s no way that he was going to be considerate of her. How the hell could anyone forget a favour that they’d asked from someone? Or was this how their social standing worked? “Yeri” He muttered, not bothering to lift his face from his trembling hands. “I’m being investigated for inside corruption at court from eight years ago”

There was quietness from her end, and Sung Gyu was afraid to raise his head as if doing just that would solidify the gravity of the truth. He was under investigation. The very phrase left a sour, repulsive taste in his mouth. He hated to think of it in that way, but no matter how he tried to put it, the words insinuated the same sense; he was a suspect of a crime, something that Yeri probably had never imagined her husband, or ex-husband to be.

“Inside...corruption?” Yeri asked slowly as if it was something she’s hearing for the first time. “But how is that possible?”

“It’s a long story” Sung Gyu groaned, pressing his palms onto his eyes. The fact that she had genuinely forgotten sort of proved to him a point, she probably didn’t have anything to do with it. Why did he suspect her anyway? If she ever wanted to attack him in anyway, she would in a way that would hurt him where he was the most sensitive. And seeing as to how things had progressed, she never had the intention to, yet she already had, unconsciously so, hurt him hard. He didn’t even have to bring it up, in a sense. But now he wanted to, to show how little care she had apparently had for him, to disregard his favours, to act as if everything he’d done for her, for her family never mattered. He wanted her to realise that he was about to fall, and that she had largely contributed to his downfall too.

“I don’t understand” She went on, sounding concerned. “How did that come about? If its from eight years ago?”

“They’ve found some wiretapped conversations-,” Sung Gyu started, but Yeri interrupted him.

“Who’s they?”

“The NIS” He replied.

“How?”

“Some anonymous Informant”

Yeri mulled it over for a moment. “But why now?”

“Don’t know” He sighed and finally turned to face her. “Point is, I have been involved in it, there’s solid proof. Its not an easy case either, so if I have to go to court, I would have to and if I have to go to jail...” He trailed off, horrified to even think about the possibility. Hyerim had said that its unlikely it would go that far. He might get court orders; the proof of his involvement was obvious enough. Although he’d most probably get away with a few wons of a fine, his career would be jeopardised, the entire country would want him off his seat. It wouldn’t be easy to find his position again, all that he’d worked so hard on lost and gone forever.

“Sung Gyu...” She started and reached for his hand. Sung Gyu withdrew from her, and she seemed not to have noticed as she laid a hand on his thigh. “You didn’t tell me you were going through this...”

“Didn’t have time” He replied.

Yeri remained quiet, her hand still resting on his leg, a soft weight of comfort against him. For a moment, he almost found solace in her, in her genuine concern, in her attempt to comfort him. But then the fact that it had all been because of her immediately back, and he let out a groan.

“What’s happened so far?” She asked him, oblivious to his discomfort.

“My flat got raided, don’t know who. And god knows what would happen if this reach the press”

He didn’t think about let alone speak aloud of when he nearly gave himself away to the press, willingly, by himself. His mind drifted off to Hyerim then, her cropped hair, her authoritative stance as she had crashed into his office and halted the interview then and there. She was cool that day, attractive, almost. She was everything that Yeri wouldn’t be. Yeri comforted, but Hyerim protected. He wasn’t sure what he needed the most right now.

“What about the police?” Yeri went on.

“They’re reinvestigating the tapes...after all, it’s a case from eight years ago. And I’m getting guarded for now by the NIS because of what happened to the flat”

At the thought of his NIS guard, something warm settled inside him. He had a guard, a loud mouthed, resilient, five feet tall guard. Its strange that she actually made him feel protected; it’s the first time he’s feeling anything but anger towards her.

“Guarded” She sighed, looking down at her feet. “At least that sounds promising, although I don’t get it why they have to pull out from eight years ago...” She looked at him. “I bet Belle Vie don’t have the executive or whoever that was any longer”

“They’re looking into it” He sighed, feeling as if a heavy weight had lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t want to feel that way. he wanted to bring out how she and her mother had most literally ruined his life by unwillingly dragging him into it. But as he looked at her, saw her actual concern, the only person in his bubble of life after Hyerim who was actually worried for him, he didn’t want to address it anymore. It wasn’t Yeri’s fault. She was only doing as her mother said. It was not her mother’s fault either, because in their social circle, the sort of favours similar to this were no big deals. They happened in a daily basis, perhaps; and most were buried in the ashes of the past. It was only that he was this unfortunate, nothing more.

“I hope things turn out fine for you” Yeri smiled.

It was when she smiled that something snapped inside him. In the dimness of the streetlight, sitting in front of the very coffee shop that they had visited so often, a ghost of his past lingered around him, all the possibilities that he’d lost floating about like a vengeful soul. Yeri was pregnant, she was getting married again, she was finally getting rid of him and sorting out her life, almost as if the past that they’ve had together, which had lasted for this long, had never existed. And a baby. He always wanted a baby. If things had turned out in the way that he favoured, this would be his chance of happiness. But no, he was sad and miserable and, in a way, resentful for everything that they could have been, but she never allowed them to be.

“So, how about you Yeri?” He asked slowly, and then, before he could stop himself, the words escaped his lips. “Seems like you finally got what you wanted” Sung Gyu hadn’t meant to put it that way; he hated how bitter that made him sound. But now that it was out in the open, there was nothing he could do about it.

Yeri stared at him, mouth agape and blinked as if in disbelief. “How...how do you know? Did mum tell you?”

Sung Gyu sighed and met her eyes. “I’ve been you husband long enough Yeri, I’m not blind”

Yeri her lips. Its as if she sensed a question coming between them, although he already knew the answer. “It...it isn’t you” She finally told him.

“I know” He sighed. “Because you’ve been so careful around me, Jesus, you never missed a pill”

“That’s because its what you wanted” Yeri snapped back, and Sung Gyu realised, a little too late, that he had actually said something that he shouldn’t have. But it had already started, and he wasn’t going to take anything back. Yeri had moisture in her eyes, and she sobbed loudly, wiping on the back of her hand. “You never wanted children with me”

He hadn’t said that he never wanted. Sung Gyu could remember it, resolutely that he’d brought up the idea of children so many times in the early days of their marriage. Yeri had refused, mentioning that it was way too early. And he had respected her decision, doing as she wished and allowing the right time to come around. They’ve wordlessly beaten around the topic for a long time, and when she finally decided it was the right point in their lives to bring along a child, they were already pretty much drifting apart and Sung Gyu could only see it as her last resolve to patch up their marriage together; and of course, Sung Gyu had refused.

“You know that isn’t true” Sung Gyu returned. “I’ve mentioned it-,”

“What is this about, Sung Gyu?” Yeri returned, interrupting him. “Why do you have to bring this up now when everything is over?”

Sung Gyu mulled it over for a second. What was it about, anyway? What was he trying to gain out of this? Comfort. He realised, in the most disgusting, unrefined way. It was a comfort to have this conversation that they never really had, because they answered all the doubts and qualms he would have otherwise carried as a deadweight as he returned home.

“You didn’t even want to try back then...” He said slowly, recalling back to the early days of their marriage. “It must have been so bad with me then, seeing that you’ve gone forward with it even before you could even say ‘I do’”

“Sung Gyu...” She whispered, her lower lip trembling. “Don’t say it like that”

“I’m not saying like anything” Sung Gyu returned, frustrated. “We had our chance and-,”

“And I tried, Sung Gyu, you’re the one who refused until the end” Yeri pushed on.

“By then it was too late, Yeri, we both knew that” He sighed, recalling the last time they had this conversation. Yeri lost her good sense that night. She said that he was mentally hurting her. She said that she was tired; tired of him, tired of them, tired of their conversations which never seemed to lead to an agreement. Then Sung Gyu took it as a point and said; ‘So this is where you want to bring a child into? Do you think that would fix anything?’ He hated it that he remembered this moment more vividly than anything else, as if the truth had remained imprinted in his mind.

When Yeri said nothing, he got the impression that she believed otherwise. He let out a sigh, hating that he had to repeatedly bring out the same point until the end, and turned to face her. “And having a baby just so that it would possibly fix whatever we had was not the right way, Yeri”

Yeri stared at him for a long moment, and for a while Sung Gyu thought she would bash at his face. Instead, she climbed up on her feet. “Oh god, quit saying that Sung Gyu”

“I’m only telling the truth” Sung Gyu returned tiredly. “It wasn’t like you genuinely intended to have children with me. We were both tired of each other, but at that point it would have been the only solution” He breathed heavily and pressed a hand onto his head. “We were already over by then”

Yeri gaped at him for a moment and shook her head, as if in disbelief. “It was only you who thought we were over, Sung Gyu. I thought it was only a bad patch. Every married couple have a bad patch. I thought you would finally come around, but-,”

“Oh so now its my fault?” Sung Gyu returned harshly.

“For goodness sake Sung Gyu, I did not say that” Yeri sighed and came to sit down next to me. “I just thought we’d be okay...” She muttered slowly, and he realised, her voice was cracking, her lower lip trembled with every breath. There was a moment of silence, during which, everything came to a standstill and both of them gathered their thoughts. Sung Gyu stared before him, the night seemingly becoming darker, the street emptier. Yeri took a shaky breath beside him, and he did the mistake of glancing at her.

“I genuinely wanted to try, back then” She muttered, her eyes glassy, lost and trapped in a dark past. “I truly did. Not because I wanted to fix anything, but because I wanted my own children, and I wanted them with you”

Sung Gyu thought that the temperature around them dropped instantly, a shift of time and presence in a ghastly turn of events. He felt his insides breaking and shredding apart, and he daren’t look into her eyes lest she saw right through him, see how he’d started to dissolve.

But he still found the strength to utter her name.

Yeri shook her head, now smiling slightly, still at everything they used to be. “I always wished my child one day would be like you. Beautiful and smart; and driven yet kind and supportive like you were...And I wanted them to make that tiny sound that you do in your sleep, I thought it was adorable and imagined it in a child all the time. And I....” Her voice broke, and she pressed a hand onto her lip. “and I wanted you to know that there would always be someone looking up to you no matter what everyone had to say” She sighed and turned to him. “I don’t know how you’d feel, but I'm really proud of you. Thinking about everything you’ve achieved makes me really happy. The youngest in the legislation? Just how strong one need to be?” She shook her head and turned away. “I was happy with you, and I loved you. But for you, I was just there, unimportant and irritating...” She let out a sigh and stared ahead.

Sung Gyu felt himself trembling inside. He was suddenly in an unknown territory; the woman he’d thought he always knew a complete stranger in his eyes. He had a habit of imagining that his judgement was always right; there was no possibility that they could go wrong; after all, that’s where he started his life. But with each turn in his life, things started to prove him otherwise. No, his judgement was not right, no, he was not seeing things through, no, he did not understand enough. He would have tallied it down to a mistake; everyone made mistakes. But at this point, he hadn’t no grounds to stand on. He did not make a mistake; no, he had been utterly and completely wrong.

“Is that...?” He started, finally finding his voice. “Is that how you really...thought of me?”

Yeri looked up at him, met his eyes and tried to smile. “Always” She said, making his heart constrict, and she looked away. “But what was the point? Its all over now...all gone”