The rain had so much as morphed into a storm outside, pattering against the window panes of his room. It had to be somewhere deep into the night, a time he couldn’t tell, but Sung Gyu had been lying in bed for hours. Hyerim was laying on his chest, her fingers gently running across his skin as they, together, marvelled at the beauty of hundred and eighty degree changes in life. They didn’t speak much. At least he didn’t, while Hyerim seemed to have so much to say. She’d been doing so for the past hour as he lay flat on his back, the pillows strewn about, their clothes lying in a pile somewhere. She told him about things that he had both expected and not imagined to hear from her. 

At some point, he felt her thumbs rubbing the apples of his cheeks, his skin right beneath his eyes, hers widened in wonderment. “There are tiny spots here, did you know that? You have freckles''

He did know that he had spots on his face; in fact, he had a lot of them that his entire young life and teenages he’d spent having a complex about them. He’d asked his sister if they were too obvious, if people could see them, if they made him look worse. As he grew older, he had more insecurities than the spots on his cheeks to worry about.

He only hummed, his eyes staring at the roof above. Hyerim leaned over and kissed him on his cheek. “Pretty” 

That’s what she’d been doing the past few hours until that point. Hyerim’s been showering him with compliments. She told him that he had the most beautiful hands, that she loved the shape of his eyes, how they narrowed upwards at the end and how they changed shape when he smiled. She thought his nose and lips were really nicely carved, that she liked the little dark moles that he had all over him, and that he was nicely toned and he had the prettiest skin and all that lot that he wouldn’t have otherwise heard from anyone else. While she could boldly and happily tell him all of this, Sung Gyu hated himself for not being able to bring a word out of himself about her. He did think she was incredibly beautiful. There wasn’t just one or many things in particular that he loved about her; he just loved all of them, everything that made Jung Hyerim, Jung Hyerim. But he’d always been someone who could never express himself like he wanted to. His thoughts will be festering in his mind, struggling to break through, yet he just didn’t know how to put them into words. So he would just show it to her instead, by kissing her or leaving lingering touches on her, hoping she would feel it all, hoping she would hear the heavy beating of his heart every time he held her and kissed her, hoping she would understand the meaning behind his long gazes and smiles. He had thought he could be different with her, more open, more expressive; but that was just something he was incapable of delivering.

“Your hair is really wavy, it's so nice” She muttered to him as she ran her fingers through it. “I bet any hairstyle would look good on you, any color would, because you’re really, really handsome, and-,”

“Hyerim-ah” Sung Gyu called her gently, halting her mid sentence. It was the first time that he was calling her a name so affectionately that it seemed to have left her dumbfounded.

“Hm?”

Sung Gyu brought his hand to her cheek and rubbed her skin with his knuckles. “Why do you like me?”

He knew that she’d already told him this, given him so many reasons; but he was still uncertain, and a part of him was convinced that, at some point, Hyerim would change her mind. Like Yeri did, like all the girls he’d liked before her did.

Hyerim laughed lightly, her eyes forming breathtaking little curves. “I don’t know, there are so many things” She told him thoughtfully. “And honestly, I don’t think there are reasons in particular that I liked you...I just did, I do, and that’s all I know”

He hummed, closed his eyes and took a deep breath as his hand mindlessly rubbed her waist. “What if…” He started, his eyes still shut tight. “Hyerim...what if the reasons changed….and you changed your mind. What then?” He glanced at her.

She looked at him thoughtfully, her eyes glistening. “I don’t know...I don’t think there will ever be a time, because…” She met his eyes with a knowing look. “Because I think I’ve liked you for the past five years”

Five years was the time that he’d known her, five years was the time since she’d moved in and occupied the flat across from him, and Sung Gyu had been married back then. 

“Five years?” He echoed in disbelief. What surprised him was not the fact that she’d liked a married man, but that she’d pursued him, then for all that time.

“Mmhm” She laid an arm across his chest and rested her cheek upon it, gazing at him. “I’ve been a terrible person, but I’ve had a massive crush on you ever since I saw you the very first time”

The thought had only made him laugh. “But...but that’s pretty long”

“And pretty weird,” Hyerim admitted sincerely. “I mean, I know I was obsessed with a married person, and I’m really embarrassed by the fact that I even had all sorts of...fantasies...about you, but then, after things happened, I-,”

What caught him first was ‘Fantasies’. 

“Fantasies?” He echoed, his skin tingling even at the thought. “What kind of fantasies?”

Hyerim gave him a shy smile, her cheeks turning red. “You know...that you might see me across the corridor and decide to leave your wife for me”

He let out a heavy sigh. ”Ah, how that had turned out”

“Sorry” Hyerim muttered, turning away.

“No” Sung Gyu glanced at her. “It’s not that…..” He laid a hand on his forehead. “It’s just hard to believe…” He sighed again. “Five years, Hyerim, five years?”

It didn’t make sense to him that Hyerim had liked someone she’d merely seen across the corridor and shared a few words with then and there when the woman whom he’d been married to and spent his life with couldn’t stay with him. Of course Yeri had loved him, she’d told him so multiple times now. But when he thought about it, the more sense it made. Yeri couldn’t be with him because she had been with him for long whereas Hyerim...Hyerim had only started.

“It doesn’t sound like a long time, but that was the most painful time of my life” Hyerim went on with a little laugh.

“But why, Hyerim, it doesn’t make any sense” He pushed on incredulously.

“For a long time, it didn’t make sense to me as well” She replied, as she distractedly played with his hand. “After we got a little closer, it made a lot of sense”

They did get closer after that time he found Momo in her flat. They’ve had a few incidents after that, mostly involving drunk Sung Gyu getting mad at the next possible subject he could vent on, which almost always happened to be her. When he’d come to think of it, although he didn’t bother upholding their acquaintanceship, Hyerim had been around him all along.

“But I was mean to you” He told her, gravity in his voice. “I said and did a lot of mean things-,”

“The things you’ve done don’t even come close to being mean” Hyerim told him in response. “I work with a bunch of hot blooded males who act like that on a regular basis every day, so it didn’t bother me at all”

Sung Gyu pouted, but Hyerim went on, her hand now gently caressing the swells of his chest. “I’ve seen you, Sung Gyu. A lot of times. I’ve seen you in your unsuspecting moments; when you went out shopping, or jogging, when you returned home from work, took the cat out to the vets. All this time, whom I saw was a very quiet, lonely person, and that really stayed with me…”

Sung Gyu didn’t say anything upon this, as he felt exposed, like he’d been seen right through to the core. Loneliness was indeed unbearable, the emptiness Yeri left when she went away. When she was around, Sung Gyu hadn't felt all that great about himself or anything else for that matter, but at least he wasn't in the flat on his own. Living in the empty apartment felt like living in a solitary world with minimal human connection, the cat being his sole companion, and they were perhaps the darkest days of his life. His job made him unhappy, his marriage made him unhappy, his family made him unhappy; he was generally an unhappy person. It was for this reason that he’d done everything that would make him feel wanted, needed and accepted. Perhaps this emotion had stayed embedded within him that he’d done the same with the Belle vie acquittal eight years ago.

“My dad told me once…” Hyerim started, looked up and met his eyes. “...that my biggest strength was that I was a fixer. Being a fixer always drew me to broken things; broken people. That’s how you appeared to me from my distance, that you were broken, and I felt the need to fix you” She heaved a heavy sigh and laid her head on his chest. “I don’t know if I’d fixed you at any point, but I’d tried, I took my chance, jumped at the opportunity…” Her fingers ran gently across his chest, and she lifted her head to smile at him. “The only thing that happened in the end, was that I fell even more in love with you”

“It might even change when you get to know me better,” Sung Gyu told her in a thick voice, allowing his worries to resurface, fears to come through. “And the last thing I want to do to you is hurting you like I did to Yeri, Hyerim”

Hyerim shook her head. “What happened wasn’t your fault, she must have told you this, right?”

Sung Gyu remained quiet, for she indeed had.

“You’re...just…”

“Sensitive” he suggested. “Overbearing”

“Just different” Hyerim corrected him. “And not all can see that difference and choose to love it and live with it….Yeri couldn’t, your family is probably trying to, for they understand that they must have shaped you that way, and me? It is what I choose to live with. I want to love you and be with you and fix you if I can”

“I can’t do that to you, hyerim” Sung Gyu answered her painfully. “You deserve a happier life than that”

It was at that moment, then, that Hyerim raised herself above him. She hovered over him, her warm skin pressing and rubbing against his own. Her hands pressed on the sheets on either sides of his head, her hair fell to the side, brushing past him and Sung Gyu thought that she looked the most beautiful at that time. Strong and beautiful.

“There are no happy relationships out there” She told him, her voice so quiet, yet carrying the weight of her words. “Relationships are never happy, the people who are in them aren’t happy. There is always the pain, there's always the struggle...what matters is the pain and struggle that you choose to live with and find happiness with…And Sung Gyu, you’re my struggle, you’re my happiness. I chose you”

Sung Gyu felt warmth in his eyes, a sort of comfort that he had never found in anybody else but her. He’d realised that what he’d feared the most was allowing another into his small, closed up world. He wanted to carry out his battles on his own, be defeated and collapse without dragging another along with him. That’s how he’d been raised to live, yet it had eventually broken him and made him who he now were. Sung Gyu couldn’t carry out his battles on his own anymore; he was too beaten, too lost. The one who had decided to battle along with him was her.

When Hyerim leaned in and kissed him again, Sung Gyu felt her down to the core of him. He felt her love, he felt her warmth, her affection, her commitment, her everything. She was there to stay, and he felt it in the way she touched him, held him and gazed at him with those glimmering doe eyes. He had never been so sure of his feelings before in the way that he did now. He felt no burden, no responsibility; he only felt that love, that reassurance, and that somehow helped him to accept this new reality, this new change and new life with his whole heart.

Sung Gyu didn’t realise that he’d drifted off to sleep. All he remembered was burying his face in her chest and listening to the gentle beating of her heart as she caressed him and hummed a toneless tune. He slept better than he had for the past five years perhaps, he slept better than he had for his entire life. When he woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of her voice, the tender touches upon his face. When he fluttered his eyes open, it was far too bright, and in the shadows of the morning sun, he could see her. 

“Hey” She called him gently, and it was only after she smiled that he realised, his life had changed its shape completely overnight. Now he had someone to go to sleep to, to wake up to every day, and nothing felt better than that.

He stared at her for a while in complete disbelief, his face still pressed flat onto the pillow. She looked breathtaking under the morning sun, angelic, unworldly. 

“How are you?” she asked him; her hand rested on his face, just below his cheek, and he pressed his own hand upon hers. She was warm, she was real.

Sung Gyu only hummed answering to her as he traced her image and stored deep in his mind; the shape of her eyes, the shape of her lips, the way her cheeks dusted pink the slightest, her mess of a hair, the stubborn locks fallen lazily, framing her face. She appeared surreal to him, he couldn’t believe, for a moment, that she was there with him.

“Aren't you going to get up?” She asked him in the same, gentle tone.

“Can’t you come back here again?” He returned, trying to match her gentle voice.

Hyerim smiled, raising her brows. “I’d love to” She muttered then, took his hand in hers and kissed his palm. “But it's a work day, and it's the first day of trial”

It took a second for the reality to dawn upon him. He’d been lost in the bliss of love for far too long that he had forgotten that his real life was pretty much the same.

He groaned, rolled onto his back and stretched out his arms.

“Is it late?” he asked her.

“Just past six thirty” hyerim replied, climbing up on her feet. He gazed at her through narrowed eyes and realised that she’d already freshened up and was in another pair of shorts and a T-shirt too big with panda prints, her hair in a Bandana again.

“Come on, up, up!” She sang to him as she headed towards the door. “I’ve made breakfast”

Sung Gyu climbed out of bed and freshened up and found his work clothes already pressed and prepared for him. Sung Gyu usually did that for himself, albeit tiredly, wouldn’t bother matching his shirt with his tie and mostly stuck to dull colors so the mismatching wouldn’t be too obvious. For that one morning she’d gotten him a crisp white shirt and a dark blue tie that he didn’t remember he owned together with a navy blue suit which had been hanging in the back of his closet. He hadn’t imagined she would do all of this for him, but then again, it was Jung Hyerim. He couldn’t have imagined otherwise.

He dressed up and walked out of his room, only to hear a loud conversation going on in the kitchen confines. It was the first time that he was hearing anyone except for his or Momo’s voice on a dull early morning. It was Momo, as usual, howling until her bowl was filled while Hyerim was conversing with her.

“Honestly, Momo, I have no idea where your dad keeps your kibbles” She was patiently explaining to her while Momo responded with a loud howl. 

“I don’t think we can come to common grounds with you scolding me like this, Momo, you do realise that the world doesn’t revolve around you, right?” Followed by another loud howl.

He found her opening and closing the cupboards, searching for Momo’s food perhaps, as the cat sat utop a kitchen cabinet, watching her. It was strangely reminiscent, as Yeri had done the exact same thing early in the morning, talking to Momo as well. He leaned against the wall nearby, his hands folded on his chest and watched her until Momo noticed his arrival, jumped off the counter and approached him.

“Ah, there you are” Hyerim sighed, laying her hands on her waist. “She’d been yelling at me the whole morning, and we couldn’t find her food”

Sung Gyu traversed the kitchen to the exact cupboard Momo was sitting by. She knew where her food was, and she’d learned how to open the bottom cupboards and drawers to rob food when he wasn’t around. He had to keep them in a top cupboard and away from her sneaky plans. 

“Momo has no sense of respect, she is not taking after her dad” Sung Gyu told her, retrieved the bag of cat food and handed it over to her. Hyerim was smiling; she looked bright and brilliant and so, so happy that he questioned himself if the source of her happiness could be him.

“How are you?” He asked her, his voice gentler now.

“I’m good, I’m incredible, I’m very, very happy” She replied as she filled Momo’s bowl with her food. She stood up and gazed at him across the room. It already felt domestic to have her there, going back to becoming a family of three again. He hasn't acknowledged it back then, perhaps, but he really, really missed belonging to someone, and he was so content now, belonging to her.

“How about you?” Hyerim asked him in return.

Sung Gyu wasn’t sure if there were any words to describe this fulfilling contentment, gratitude and adoration that he felt towards her. Sung Gyu felt like he had become a different person altogether, one whose entire world was made up of her. He tried to contain it all in one sentence and deliver the sentiment to her the best he could.

“I’ve never been better” He sighed, smiling his brightest. Hyerim smiled too, and she asked no more as if she understood his sheer inability of expressing his feelings in words. 

“Well, I’m not the best cook in the world, But I did put together something” She announced as she led him to the dining table. She’d made rice and omelet which were all laid out on the table together with the Kimchi his mum had sent him a while ago. Sung Gyu hardly ever had full meals in the morning unless his mum was around. It occurred to him that he probably would, from this point on, and he would no longer be sitting at the dining table on his own. 

“I’ve made some egg,” Hyerim continued, gesturing at the array of food laid out. “I tried to make it extra special by throwing in some meat and veggies that I could find in your fridge, I sure hope-,”

“Hyerim-ah” Sung Gyu called her, stopping her mid-sentence, and when she turned to face him, Sung Gyu crossed the distance between them and pulled her into his embrace. 

Days back, Sung Gyu had imagined that this day would come. He knew that there would be a day when the investigations would go full on, and he would be called in for trial. He knew that the media frenzy would follow, the positive and mostly negative reactions of the general public, how his family would take to the incident, how his work would be affected, and amidst it all, how he would be lost, all on his own. Back then, he had feared this morning the day of the first trial, the first time in his life that he would be the defendant of a crime whereas he had only been a judge all his life. He didn’t know how he would have taken it, but he was certain that it would not be very well. He just wasn’t strong like that.

What he hadn’t imagined, however, was that morning to be like this; light and hearty conversations, a full meal laid up on his dining table,, waking up to the sheer bliss and happiness of being loved. It was only then that he realised it, Jung Hyerim had been his blessing in disguise. 

Sung Gyu closed his eyes and took a deep breath against her shoulder. Hyerim was scented sweetly of something fruity, something nice, and he loved it. 

“Hyerim-ah...thank you” He told her.  There was so much more that he wished he could tell her, but there was only so much that he could put into words.

He thought he felt Hyerim smiling against him, and her hands ascended up his back underneath his jacket, caressing him tenderly. She didn’t say a word, but she rocked him slowly, side to side.

“I...I wouldn’t have done this without you, Hyerim” He admitted, garnering that strength within her quietness, his arms holding her as close as he could. “I wouldn’t have come this far. I wouldn’t have even survived”

He had thought about Youngmin, Youngmin who had lost his battle, eventually losing his life, perhaps not having found the right people to battle along with him. No matter how much he tried to shake it off, he couldn’t help seeing the possibilities, that it could have been him too, if not for Hyerim who had chosen his battle to fight along.

“Don’t say that…” She told him in a quiet voice, and the way that it sounded muffled and so little, he could tell that she was crying. It was further proven when a small sob followed. “Don’t say that...Sung Gyu…” She went on, pulled away from him only so that she could hold his face in her hands. Sung Gyu could see the moisture in her eyes, the gravity in her gaze. Perhaps she had felt his fears too, although not a word had he told her about Youngmin. 

“I told you, didn’t I?” Hyerim said as she tried to smile. “Sung Gyu I would never let them take you away from me. Never”

Sung Gyu smiled upon this as well, holding her gaze, and his fist tightened upon her waist. 

“And I won’t let them take me away from you” He muttered determinedly, to which Hyerim responded by pulling him into a brief yet blissful kiss.

“Now” She sighed as she pulled away. “The food’s running cold, and you’ve got to run soon”

He chuckled. “Agreed”

The two of them sat together and shared the same omelet as they devoured their respective bowls of rice. As they did, they discussed further about the new developments of the case. Sung Gyu went through the updated progress of media responses, and his secretary had also emailed him the current numbers of the petition that was signed for him. They were nearly at the 75 percent mark, which was unexpected, yet there were concerning negative responses arising on the news articles upon his speech. There were several other news sites announcing the beginning of the trials, brief descriptions upon the prosecutor and defence attorney involved. What worried him was that Howon had better ratings of success than Dong Woo did and he was also far ahead in terms of experience. Dong Woo did significantly fall behind during his time of the slump, had taken minimal cases and Sung Gyu’s had to be the biggest he had handled so far. He required constant reassurance, and Sung Gyu had to give him just that. He still needed more support in terms of gathering defense material, evidence, convincing the witnesses. Sung Gyu found himself expressing these concerns to Hyerim that morning who listened to him attentively, only to provide him a possible alternative.

“I will help him out” She simply replied. Sung Gyu still didn’t think her involvement would be ideal. His worry was that they’d extend her suspension, or even worse, terminate her appointment in the light of her involvement which would certainly be viewed in the negative way.

“But, wouldn’t that be a problem?” He asked her. “All your disciplinary actions were taken because of this case, and I don’t want them to get worse, Hyerim”

“I will be discreet,” Hyerim told him. “While I’m on suspension, they wouldn’t closely monitor my behavior as long as I stay out of trouble. I wouldn’t personally confront the witnesses or anything. I’ll just help him out in the background, you know, with what to say and stuff”

Sung Gyu had to hand it to her, between Dong Woo and herself, Hyerim would definitely be the better one at convincing people. While Dong Woo will be gentle and considerate with them, Hyerim had the uncanny ability to jump straight to the point and say what she wished to say. 

“Are you sure about it?” He asked her cautiously. “I don’t know if I can trust you, I can never tell what stunts you’d pull”

“No stunts” Hyerim responded, took his hand and threaded her pinky finger through his. “Just the little helps, I promise”

“You promised” Sung Gyu told her and raised their entangled hands in emphasis. “You promised me, Hyerim”

She only laughed in response. “I won’t break it, I promise”

“You’re making way too many promises” He sighed, shaking his head.

“And I will keep them” She gave him a reassuring smile. “Which reminds me, I will be going down to Daegu today”

Sung Gyu perked up at this. “Daegu? Today? But what about the trial?”

He knew that it was quite silly of him, but like a child on the first day of school, Sung Gyu did not want to be on his own on the first day of trial. His mother would probably be there, his sister too, and his guards, and his secretary. But he needed to see Hyerim’s faces among them all.

“After the trial, don’t worry”

“How are you going?” He pushed on. “Would you be driving there?”

“I’m taking the train, it's the fastest”

He did not like the idea of her going all the way to Daegu on her own.

“Can’t you go with somebody?” He asked her.  “I can...I can send one of my guards, they can drive you there...I have two cars, one I barely use. Or-or I can ask noona-,”

“Sung Gyu, relax” Hyerim told him gently and took his hand. “I might look small, but I’m a trained NIS officer, I’ve done worse things than going to Daegu on my own”

“But this isn’t work,” He reminded her. “And you don’t have to-,”

“But I want to” She deadpanned, stopping him. “And I will be fine”

It was the conviction and finality in her voice which stopped him from pushing any further. He heaved a heavy sigh, yet grasped onto her hand and met her eyes. “Okay...just, tell me when you get there...and stuff”

“I promise,” Hyerim said again, to which he gave a sharp look, making her laugh.

They finished breakfast mostly in silence afterwards, especially since Sung Gyu had more work related things to catch up on while Hyerim checked the train schedule. His car arrived after a while, his guards appeared at his door. Sung Gyu hated to part ways from her, not after the blissful few hours that he’d had with her. Before he left, Sung Gyu held her against the kitchen counter and kissed her while Momo rubbed herself against their feet. He picked up the cat too, because she was demanding his attention, gave her a kiss on the head and handed her to Hyerim who held her like a child.

“You’ll do well” Hyerim told him, a reassuring smile on her lips. “It will go well”

Sung Gyu was nervous. His heart was pounding, his hands were clammy. He despised trials, even as a judge as he was always anxious about making the wrong decision which would define someone’s entire life. Now the tables have turned; he was fearing how his own fate would be.

“I will...see you then” He told her slowly, and she squeezed his hand. Walking out of his apartment felt like walking up on eggshells; the only comfort he had at that time was Hyerim standing by his doorway with Momo in her arms, trying to make her wave at him with her chubby white paws.

As soon as he got into the car, which was already occupied by his secretary, she happened to announce that he’d been freed from his morning duties on the days of the trials. It was uncertain as to how long they would last, but as a minister he also had responsibilities to attend to. The most feasible way, as it happened, was to keep his morning hours open and attend to work for the afternoon and evening half, and perhaps work the evenings a little longer to compensate for the times he'd lost.

“You can also apply your annual leaves, sir” His secretary also suggested. “Its September already and you have many more leaves left”

Not knowing how the trials would progress, it was a risk that he didn’t want to take. 

“I would continue working, Secretary Kim” He told her matter-of-factly. “You never know how long these things last”

As he had the morning half free, he met Dong Woo first so they could prepare for the trial together. It would start at around nine am, so they still had about an hour to wait. The two of them discussed what to ask, what to say, what evidence to present and so on for the next forty five minutes or so. As the time passed, however, Sung Gyu only grew increasingly nervous. He could never imagine what Howon had waiting for him, what direction the trials would lead. As of now, he had a good feeling that he was on the side of advantage, but with cases like this, tables could turn at any point.

They drove to the court afterwards; the court that he’d worked for years as a judge, each and every corner of which he knew like the back of his palm. It was odd to come here again; after he’d left as a judge moving on to start his political career, he was returning now as a criminal on trial. Thanks to his guards who blocked his view from the other judgemental patrons, he  did not see a single one of the patronizing stares. The place was packed with media persons as usual, and it was a struggle traversing his way from the entrance to the courtroom. It was only after he went inside that he could breathe again without being pushed and pulled around by men and women carrying mics and recorders. However, he didn’t feel any better being in the court either. Not when he had to sit at the table of the defendants. Not when he had to be the defendant for the first time in his life.

The court proceedings went on as usual. Sung Gyu and Dong Woo took their place at the defendants table, feeling jittery all over, and Howon sat at the table of the prosecutor’s, wearing a face so grave that made him feel ten times worse. He only gave him a nod across the hall in acknowledgement, nothing more. For the next few minutes, until the arrival of the judges, the two parties buried themselves in their own documents and hushed discussions as the rest of the court benches filled with anxious and curious spectators. In all honesty, Sung Gyu despised being watched like this, all his actions traced and judged down to the simplest blink of an eye. He had never felt the apprehension of someone at the defence table so much until that point in his life. His hands grew clamier, his head pounding. No amount of comfort that Dong Woo gave him with his quiet words did him any good. 

There were so many faces present at the court which he knew and didn’t recognise. His mother and sister were up in the front row, surprisingly sitting together with Hyerim who gazed at him across the hall. They haven’t been lying when they said that they’ve spoken to Hyerim. It appeared to him that they’ve made good friends. Yeri and his family hadn’t been on very good terms. If anything, they were polite and cordial to each other and tolerated each other at an arm’s length. Yeri spoke very little with them, like he did with her own family. Interacted moderately when they met at dinner parties or celebrations and later when his mother or sister visited, becoming a good host, nothing less. They had girls’ conversations which mostly consisted of food and clothes and other menial discussions, but there’s hardly been any conversation that’s gone beyond that boundary. With Hyerim however, from what he’d heard from her, they have indeed spoken a little more. 

It was a while later that the judges’ arrival was announced by the bailiff. Everyone climbed up on their seats, a judge that Sung Gyu easily recognised as one that had close relations with judge Ryu took the presiding seat. He met his eyes just briefly, and Sung Gyu felt a chill down his spine. They always said that no judgement was biased, that no case tackled in the court was taken at a personal level; but with his experience as a judge, Sung Gyu had learned otherwise, he was experiencing the consequences of it at that exact moment in the worst possible way. Two young left and right seat judges took their seats as well; young and blank faced and innocent, just like he’d been back then. He hoped they realised what their presiding judge was capable of and wouldn’t end up in the same trap as he had.

Frankly, considering how the things started off on a left foot, Sung Gyu didn’t expect things to show any positive prospects. But he had to do what he had to do. Thus his time of never ending trials began.

The first trial ended with no positive or negative outcome, just as any first trial would. There was the same old questioning from both parties, evidence that was beneficial to neither party and the next trial was rescheduled in another three days. Sung Gyu already knew how the drill would go. As it was a political scandal, the case would drag on for months and months until the hype died down before coming to a final verdict. As how the things currently were, the benefit was tilted more towards judge Ryu’s side. It was Dong Woo’s and his job to somehow find the kind of strong evidence that had the potential to turn the case around.

That afternoon, after the trials ended, Sung Gyu saw Hyerim just briefly before she left. They couldn’t communicate openly with one another, not with the hawk eyes of the press surrounding the vicinity. He had only smiled at her across the courtroom, his heart taking a massive leap when she mouthed at him that she loved him. It was getting increasingly difficult to come into terms with the new change in his life. Months ago, he hadn’t imagined himself behind the defendant table, the woman holding his heart expressing her love for him in the form of gestures and soundless words. Months ago, Sung Gyu had only imagined the perks of a job he thought he’d despised, the loneliness of the four walls of his empty home, occasional nightly encounters with a drunk and extremely willing Song Yeri. It was surreal, how drastically that things could change. He didn’t think he’d ever return home and have someone waiting for him at his door, or that he would become someone waiting for another. But that evening, after long hours of work and just a brief text from Hyerim, that was exactly what Sung Gyu found himself to be. Sung Gyu was someone who waited, pacing the length of his house with his cat lazily watching him, still in his work suit as the rest of the world went by, waiting for the woman that he loved to return home.

As he waited, to distract himself, Sung Gyu tried to make dinner. He couldn’t call her or text her to see how things were going, as it was possible that her involvement would be investigated as well, and although Howon had certainly witnessed it with his own eyes that day, Sung Gyu didn’t want them to have any evidence to show her involvement, and any call or text they would share would certainly show just that. Whatever they did together, they had to do in person in their own time and secretly behind their hawk eyes.

So he waited and he tried to make dinner for her. Sung Gyu wasn’t the best cook, only because he hadn’t enough practice, only because he never really had a reason to cook. But that wasn’t to say that he couldn’t. He did make a mean Ramen, a twisted version of his own which used to be his go-to meal back in college. It somehow had sentimental value for him, so that night, as he continuously checked his phone and the front door, knowing that he’d have to wait for a while, he made her just that. He couldn’t go for a bath yet, as he felt that if he did, he’d miss the moment when she’d return. Thankfully so, he had just turned the stove off, the noodles bubbling away in the stew when he heard the beep coming from the door. She was home.

As soon as Sung Gyu emerged from the kitchen, as soon as the front door opened, Hyerim dashed towards him, right into his arms. It was an odd feeling, knowing that he would get to do this, perhaps, for a long time. He and Hyerim didn’t share this kind of affection. Theirs was always within the boundaries, as if every kiss, every hug was an obligation. But with Hyerim, there were no walls, no conditions; he didn’t have to think twice to hold her and lift her off her feet, she didn’t give second thoughts before she grabbed his face and peppered him with soft, butterfly kisses. All his worries and troubles soon waned away, they didn’t even matter. It didn’t bother him that he had returned from a fruitless trial and long hours from work, it didn’t seem to matter to her that she had returned late after hours of travelling the moment they had each other.

Sung Gyu hadn’t realised, until then, that it was exactly what was missing in his life.

“Mmhm, I missed you” Hyerim mumbled huskily as she held his face in her hands. His eyes were set only and only upon her, that delightful curve of her lips, the way her eyes crinkled in the corners, her hair stubbornly not staying in place. He couldn’t put into words how much he’d earned to hold her again; all he could do at that moment was gaze at her and smile.

And he did, so did she. They held each other and gazed at each other for the longest time, perhaps in an attempt to make up to all the times they couldn’t see each other. It was her who broke the trance then, finally pulling away.

“I smell something good” She told him and gave him a knowing look. “Other than you, I mean”

Sung Gyu felt his cheeks heat up. “I made dinner,” He said.

“For me?”

“Mmhm” He sighed.

“Perfect” She smiled and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Let's talk over dinner then”

The two of them retreated to the kitchen, and as Sung Gyu set the table, hyerim filled him up on her trip to Daegu. She started off with the good parts, how the train wasn’t too crowded, how she helped a nice old lady to find her seat, all as Sung Gyu listened to her attentively. She was too exhausted that she remained seated all the while, she needed that, and he didn’t let her do anything as he tackled it all on his own. It was only after they proceeded to eat that she went onto tell him the not so good parts of her trip, mainly that-,

“Kim Doyeon does not want to testify” Hyerim simply informed him. They were sitting close together, eating from the same pot as the smoke kissed their skin warmly. Sung Gyu naturally reached out and brushed off her strand of hair that stuck to her lips.

“What did she say?” He asked her. In all honesty, Sung Gyu had expected that she would refuse. The trial did not end well for Kim Doyeon; with her losing her job on top of the public embarrassment she had to face, being bullied by her workmates, called out a liar, it couldn’t have been easy for her to climb out of that place again. Sung Gyu hadn’t expected her to be willing to take part in the investigation at all; he’d done her wrong, and he’d regretted deeply having been even a part of it. In that sense she had all the right to not to.

Hyerim shook her head. “She’s a nice girl, pretty and pleasant, but i think the whole thing was traumatic for her”

Sung Gyu readily agreed. “It would be, she didn’t have it easy”

“And I understood her” Hyerim met his eyes. “I understand her. ual assault is already bad in itself, you know. There’s hardly anything that could prove her right except for her own experience, and to be told that her concerns weren’t validated?”

Sung Gyu let out a heavy sigh. “It’s often the case with situations like this” He set down his chopsticks and looked down at her. It was one of the few things that he could be honest about, for it didn’t involve her. “I regret nothing more, Hyerim, I should never have let that happen''

The way Hyerim smiled the slightest, shook her head and reached for his hand put everything into perspective. “You weren’t in an easy place at that time, were you?”

It was a conflict of interest between his own moral choices and being a good husband, a good son in law, and in his own naive understanding, Sung Gyu had chosen the latter. 

“I don’t think there should ever be an excuse” He sincerely replied.

“Good” Hyerim smiled, her thumb gently rubbing the back of his hand. “You acknowledge that you were wrong in that, at least that adds up to something”

Sung Gyu didn’t know what to say in response.

“What are we going to do now?” She asked him after a moment, still holding his hand. The trial certainly wasn’t going in the way that they wanted, starting off on the left foot. The witnesses would testify against him and the evidence that he had on his side were only circumstantial and were certainly weaker against them. 

“We need something strong, something that could turn the case around” He told her. 

The truth of the matter was that, if Doyeon did testify, it would be a factor of strength towards his side. If the victims statements did not match with the statements of the witnesses in the way the case was happening now, it would put Judge Ryu in disadvantage against him. But to Hyerim who had failed in convincing Doyeon that day, it was the last thing that he could tell her. They had months to go in this rocky journey of a trial, he could tell, and that had to be enough time to somehow convince Doyeon, find at least a strong variable that could make the tables turn. They had only started.

“We have to convince her somehow”Hyerim muttered with a heavy sigh. “It feels terrible, but right now, one problem precedes the other”

“I’m sorry that you had to go through this” He told her yet again.

“It’s not your fault” She replied.

They didn’t speak about the trial or the case afterwards. Sung Gyu put the dishes away as Hyerim cleaned the table, both quiet and drowned in their own thoughts. Sung Gyu asked her if she’d like some coffee, to which she said that she’d like coffee and a cuddle. Sung Gyu’s cheeks warmed up again, he was having a hard time getting used to this new change. He and Yeri had never had interactions like this, hearty and honest. Now that he thought about it, between Yeri and himself, there had always been a wall which both couldn’t break through. They’d married each other for a reason, a reason that certainly wasn’t love.

They moved to the living room then, and Momo followed after them, curled up in her cat bed and dozed away. They eased into the sofa, sipped on their coffee for a while, but they were soon forgotten when Hyerim had leaned into him at some point and he’d taken that moment to kiss her. For long minutes, afterwards, Sung Gyu kissed her; his arms wrapped around her waist, his fingers tracing her skin. Their mugs of coffee were lukewarm and abandoned, as they wrapped around each other; kisses, touches and whispered encouragements, quiet smiles and laughter and at some point, Hyerim flicking the buttons of his shirt off, one after the other.

He sat slumped upon the seat, one hand around her, his fingers threaded in her hair. Sung Gyu was deep in his thoughts, and he realised that their moment of intimacy had been nothing but a distraction from their own muddled minds.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked him, laying her head against his shoulder as her fingers traced the swells of his chest.

“A lot of things” He sighed, distractedly, looked down at her and met her eyes. 

Hyerim hummed, lifted her hand and caressed his cheek. “Unload that on me then, I’m all ears”

Sung Gyu shook his head. He’d done that to her too many times already, and now that they were together, he didn’t feel its right to. She needed companionship, interdependence, not just him weighing her down in the way that he already did.

“Lets just say I was thinking about you” He told her, gave her a smile.

“I know that I was somewhere in there” She pressed a hand on his chest where she presumed his heart was, then she sat up straight, getting more comfortable in his embrace. “But tell me what bothers you”

He pressed his lips into a thin line and turned to face her. “I think, Hyerimmie, that we haven’t talked about us enough”

Despite the deep shade of pink that spread down her cheeks and ears, Hyerim furrowed her brows. “What is there to talk about?”

“For an example” He tilted his head thoughtfully. “What is your favorite flower?”

Hyerim burst out in laughter. “Is that what you want to talk about?”

“Isn’t it a good enough thing to talk about?”

Hyerim shook her head in disbelief, yet she answered anyway. “Roses? The small white ones? I think they’re pretty”

Sung Gyu was convinced that she wasn’t a flower person, Hyerim just didn’t come off as one, although that was the first thing he’d bought for her. 

“What is your favorite flower?” Hyerim wanted to know.

Sung Gyu didn’t think he actually ever had one, until he realised that the type that he got for her the other day when he’d come running through the rain was his favorite. “Red roses” he replied.

“Like those that you got for me that day?”

“Mmhm” A nod

The smile that spread across her face, at that moment, he thought, was breathtaking. 

“What about your favorite color?” He then pushed on.  

“Favorite color?” Hyerim looked at him thoughtfully. “I don’t know if I have one, but I look the best in black”

Hyerim looked the best in any color, he thought, although he couldn’t actually tell that to her. There were still so many things that he couldn’t tell her, still so much that he had to work on himself to be a better lover for her. The part of him which was convinced she deserved better was still there with him, hovering around, coming to the surface in the oddest times. It hadn’t been long since they started off, and Sung Gyu was terrified of what laid ahead of them. 

“What about you?” Hyerim asked him, interrupting his thoughts. “Hm?” He gazed at the roof above him. “White, I think?”

“No,” SHe spluttered, laying a hand on his chest. “That’s the total opposite of mine”

He laughed, so did she, and they went on like that, asking questions on the most mundane, unrelated things. Sung Gyu knew that they were just threading around the shallow waters, ignoring the elephant in the room. For that moment, it was all they could do lest their worries took a hold of them, ruin the start of something beautiful. But they couldn’t ignore it for too long; at least Sung Gyu couldn’t, for it only became heavier in his mind.

So he found himself asking her at some point, after so much thought; “After all of this, if I lose my job, if I lose my fortune, Hyerim, what would you do?”

It was something that had worked in his mind since last night. After the biggest of his worries had passed, Sung gyu realised that he wasn’t going to end up in jail after all. In a case like this, the verdict would be pretty much the same; he would most probably lose his job, he would have to pay a hefty fine. He did have some money to his name, what he’d been earning for the past ten months; but if his calculations were right, the compensation could take up almost everything he owned. If it was only himself, then that would have been fine. Sung Gyu would most ideally move back to Jeonju where he could start a small law firm, perhaps, and live with his parents if he had to, for a while, until he picked up himself again. But now, he had Hyerim, Hyerim whom he knew he loved, dearly so, who meant the world to him. Now he had a better reason to fight back, but the price of his loss was much stronger than before. What if he did lose everything? How could he love hyerim the way that he wished to? Give everything and a better life like he wanted to?

The look in her eyes at that moment, however, kept Sung Gyu grounded like she always would. She was stronger than any woman that he had ever known.

“You would still have me” She replied, firm, unwavering and beautiful. “Even if you do lose everything, you would still have me...isn’t that more than enough?”

Sung gyu didn’t know what he could say in response. Hyerim seemed to leave him speechless more often than not, and at that moment when he met her eyes and he saw promise within them, Sung Gyu realised that he had nothing to fear. He probably would lose everything at the end of this all; his house, his position, his savings, a hefty part of his life, but the way Hyerim smiled and held his hand seemed to reassure him that he would still have something more, standing stronger and unwavering to live for.

As it was a political scandal, just as expected, the trials were purposefully dragged on for days. The second trial was held three days later and adjourned too soon, the next held the following week. Meanwhile, Hyerim met up with Dong Woo and as Sung Gyu was pretty much held back with extra work he’d had to put in at office, the two of them had to look into ways and means to gather better evidence, stronger evidence to secure Sung gyu his benefit of doubt. Hyerim had to head down to Daegu a second time, and he had to convince her to take Dong Woo along with her. He knew that she was pretty strong despite how small she was, he knew that she was certainly stronger than himself and he loved her for that. But there was still that protective side of him which had him on his toes for no reason; he hadn’t been like that with Yeri, nor anybody else before, he hadn’t cared for a woman the way he did for her. In the end, she agreed to let Dong Woo accompany her, only as she was convinced Dong Woo would have that uncanny ability to convince Kim Doyeon, somehow. Yet, the two of them returned that evening, their second attempt gone to naught. Doyeon had refused to even come out to see them that time, and Sung Gyu only saw the prospects of failure since then.

Howon, on the other hand, was a prosecutor who really lived up to his name. He was relentless, if anything, and as evident as it was that he was trying his best to remain impartial, with the available evidence, the advantage kept weighing down to judge Ryu’s side. This seemed to frustrate him as well, that, at times, his usually calm and placid demeanour came apart. He remained professional throughout the entire trial although he was going against his long time best friend whom he’d drifted away from, and Dong Woo too appeared not to be deterred by this, although there were points he became awfully conscious of himself as well. After the third trial, Dong Woo who’d felt he didn’t do well had approached Hyerim whom he’d made good friends with and asked how she’d felt. Hyerim wouldn’t have shared this with him, but she did as she’d felt concerned, and they discussed if there would ever come the necessity to change his attorney, only for the purpose of protecting Dong Woo. But come the next trial, he picked himself up again and did exceptionally well. 

It was on the sixth day of the trial, nearly a month after it started, that Howon finally lost his composure at court. It was expected, in a way, and Sung Gyu wished there was a way that could have been avoided. But it was inevitable. Yeri, now visibly pregnant, had to testify for him at court that day, and it was Howon, her husband who had to question her and listen to her recall back to her time with her previous husband, the man at the defence table. Things couldn’t have been worse than that for the entire ordeal, he thought. Yeri didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve it, Howon didn’t deserve it. But their planets of misfortune lined up exactly that way.

Sung gyu didn’t meet Yeri again for a very long time. She never came to the hearings, which was a relief, and she’d dropped a text or two, but he didn’t find the time to reply, nor did he feel it was right to. Not when she had finally tied the knot with Howon and when Sung gyu himself had moved on with life. While he had agreed to her proposition of remaining friends, he didn’t think it was ideal that they continued any kind of acquaintances. Two people who had been married, who had had the kind of relationship that they did couldn’t possibly go into being friends without any past feelings being involved. No matter how much they would try to erase them and move on, there were certain memories that still remained, vivid as ever. And Sung Gyu believed that his life with Yeri, his life in her family, her circle had long gone and died down when the trials started. It was Hyerim, his presence now, and he was pretty determined to make her his future as well. Leaving Yeri in the past was the only way that things made sense to him.

But that day, Sung Gyu realised that not all were convinced the same. 

The hearing started off as usual. He was at the defence table, Howon had brought Sung Gyu’s previous left seat judge and stenographer present at the case as witnesses, who, unfortunately hadn’t a lot to tell. After all, the stenographer had only typed what was said and heard, his left seat judge wasn’t even involved in the case anyway. Dong Woo, however, unbeknownst to him had his ex wife and mother in law as witnesses, which Sung gyu was never made aware of. He was pretty sure by then, judging by the way Yeri glanced at him across the hall that it had been her who’d convinced Dong Woo to allow her to testify, for Sung Gyu himself had said not to, multiple times. A heavy weight settled in the pit of his stomach. He could only glance at Hyerim for support, who gave him a slight nod. But it was certain that they both felt the same way about it. How Sung Gyu and Yeri felt about their separation was different. Sung gyu, who’d never had true feelings for her, had somehow started feeling indifferent about it. He’d missed her presence back then, and it was all she’d meant for him, whereas for Yeri, he’d been the person whom she’d wanted her children to be like, and she was still someone supportive of him. She still had the hopes of staying friends with him. He could tell that things weren’t about to go down well. It was where the conflict of their interests certainly came into play. 

When it was Yeri’s turn to testify to Dong Woo, it went smoothly as Dong Woo had always been gentle and considerate even as he questioned in the court. It was pretty much the same with Yeri’s mother, and there wasn’t a lot that Dong Woo had to ask. When it came down to Howon’s turn, however, things started to go downhill.

He wasn’t someone who beat around the bush when he questioned; he took his aim, shot the bullet, and at that moment, whether it was his wife, whether it was his mother in law, it didn’t even matter.

“11th and 12th July, 2011, where were you, Song Yeri-Ssi?” Howon asked her. Even after Sung gyu had said multiple times that he had no recollection from those two days, Howon seemed to remain hung onto it. Yeri appeared slightly overwhelmed, but she didn’t fail to keep her head up, just as the Song Yeri that he always knew.

“I don’t remember,” Yeri said without a beat.

“Were you with the defendant Kim Sung gyu that day?”

Sung gyu couldn’t remember for the life of him if she was with him or not, but Yeri was far more organised than he was, and he assumed she had a better recollection of the incidents than he did. 

“I probably was” She returned.

“So you can’t tell for certain?” He asked her. 

“I can’t remember,” Yeri repeated.

Howon nodded, walked a circle around the hall and returned to the witness again. “Seo Minhee, Jang Hyeojin, Kang Jinyoung, Baek Seolji, Kim Eunmi...do you recognise any of these names, Song Yeri-Ssi?”

“I do not,” She replied. 

“They’re the witnesses who testified against the victim of the ual Assault incident at Belle-Vie cosmetics eight years ago...do you still not remember?”

Yeri looked up at Howon, and the steady look in her eyes made it evident, just as Sung Gyu himself hadn’t heard of the names, neither had she.

“The five of them had testified that you and your...ex-husband had approached them at varying times of the days 11th and 12th of July and threatened them to testify against the victim. Is this true?”

“No” Yeri didn’t budge for a second, not even by their intimidating proximity. For those who wouldn’t know their relationship wouldn’t have even guessed what they were for each other upon seeing their stance towards each other at that time. Dark, intense, unlikely. 

 “Is it no, you didn’t, or no you don’t remember?”

Dong Woo immediately climbed up on his feet. “Objection!” He exclaimed. “The prosecution is asking leading questions”

The judge, thereon, demanded that the prosecution did not ask similar questions again, and it continued.

“What is your relationship to Belle Vie cosmetics, Song Yeri-Ssi?” Howon went on.

“It’s owned by my mother's friend,” She said.

“Do you know your mother’s friend personally?”

Yeri returned that she did not, which was true.

“What is your mother’s friend’s relationship to the defendant?”

Yeri glanced at him, only for the briefest moment and she turned away. “There is no relationship, your honour. Sung Gyu-Ssi only knew her through me, and they had no acquaintanceship of any sort”

“And you know this because?”

“He had communicated with her only through me and mother” Yeri sternly replied.

Which was all true. There had never been a time where he’d directly met the CEO of the company nor the executive under investigation. He was merely a medium of communication, someone who made sure things happened smoothly, and as he later realised, a scapegoat which had eventually carried the burden on his own.

“What is his relationship with the acquitted executive?” Howon went on.

“There was none,” Yeri, yet again, admitted the truth. “The...acquitted executive only communicated through my mother’s friend who communicated with Sung gyu-ssi through my mother and me”

“So there was no direct relationship between Belle Vie cosmetics and the defendant”

Yeri nodded in response. “That is correct”

Howon nodded, a moment of silence followed. “Did you or your mother receive anything in return for your...relationship with Belle-Vie cosmetics? Anything of monetary value?”

“It was only a favour that my mother had agreed to,”

“Did Sung Gyu-Ssi receive anything of Monetary value in return?”

“He did not, not to my knowledge”

Howon took a step towards her, standing above her a dark, intimidating presence. “Then why do you think Sung gyu-Ssi enabled the acquittal, Song Yeri? If he had no relationship with the executive nor the CEO of the company, if he did not receive anything of any value, why do you think he did that?”

During their lengthy discussions upon the case, Sung Gyu realised there had never been a time when he’d asked him why he did that. He was only hung onto proving how it had happened without delving into the reasons as if he had known the whys before the hows all along. Now it appeared to him, it had only been a question that he had intended to direct to Song Yeri, for it was evident, by then, what his actual motive had been.

“I’m not sure,” Yeri merely replied. She had too much to protect, too much to lose; now was not a time for her to be honest, which both she and Sung Gyu knew. 

“Have you ever talked about it? Has he ever admitted his intention?”

Yeri looked over at Sung Gyu at that moment across the room; he met her eyes and she held his gaze for the longest time. There was so much going on within them, he could see so many things that she held in, not allowing to flood through. They’ve indeed spoken about it, not too long ago. Yeri herself had asked the exact question from him, and his response had left her befuddled, it hadn’t been what she’d thought she would hear, and somehow it seemed to have meant so much more than he’d imagined. Sung Gyu wasn’t someone of romantic and loving gestures. He hadn’t done a lot for her to express his love for her, all since he didn’t think he actually ever did love her. That was one of the many reasons why they had certainly drifted apart. For Yeri who had failed to receive even an ounce of affection from him, his gesture of risking his occupation for her, for his family, to belong to her must have meant the world to her, and it was all that he could see in her eyes at that time. 

“Song Yeri-Ssi'' Howon called her name to bring her attention back to him. It was evident that he too had noticed their quiet, distant exchange. Sung Gyu was unsure what she had perceived from him when she held his gaze, whether it was the same as he had seen in her. Whatever it was, it had somehow sent her unreeling. She looked up at Howon, her eyes moist and troubled.

“Has the defendant admitted his intentions to you?”Howon repeated, a little harshly this time, and Yeri, unlike she’d done throughout the hearing, didn’t respond at once. She shook her head slowly, her lips forming a sorrowful smile. She had never been the best at hiding her emotions when she’d put in a vulnerable place, and that's what it was, at that time. She was lying to Howon, for the truth was just too painful to share. “No,” hyerim replied. “He didn’t”

But Sung Gyu could tell how Howon must have interpreted her silence. He took a few steps towards her, pressed both his hands on the table and lifted his gaze. 

“Song Yeri-Ssi, what is your relationship to the defendant Kim Sung Gyu?”

The tone of his voice, the way he worded out the question, all of it appeared red flags to him.

There was a beat of contemplative silence as Yeri gazed up at her husband. The motive behind the question, if anything, sounded dark, twisted and wrong, and Yeri had certainly seen this too.

“He and I are divorced,” Hyerim finally replied.

“What is your relationship to the defendant, Song Yeri-Ssi?” Howon repeated with emphasis.

“I said, we’re divorced-,” Yeri gasped, and Howon moved even closer, almost in her face, and Dong Woo immediately climbed up on his feet. It was no longer a question of what Sung Gyu’s intention behind the acquittal now, it was a question of the legitimacy of Yeri’s response, whatever she had refused to reveal, her reasons not to, her reasons to keep it from her now Husband, the prosecutor of the case, Howon. 

“Song Yeri-Ssi, answer my question; what is your relationship to Kim Sung Gyu?”

Yeri fell quiet this time around, her teary eyes gazing at the other. She had never been quietened this way before, as Sung Gyu was someone who rarely got angry at her, and she had always had the upper hand even in their arguments. Her quietness, somehow, seemed to push Howon even further.

“If there’s nothing more than a divorce, Song Yeri-Ssi, you would say the truth”

“Objection!” Dong Woo exclaimed, his voice echoing in the quiet of the room. “The prosecution is provoking my witness” 

Yeri was probably pushed to her furthest by then, if her red rimmed eyes couldn’t say anything. She was rendered speechless, and as she always would in a moment like this, she had laid a hand on her slightly protruding stomach. It was one of the reasons why Sung Gyu hadn’t wanted her to testify in the first place. While it wouldn’t have made much difference, Yeri wasn’t even in the right place to do so. Sung Gyu didn’t love her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care for her, and he didn’t want to be the one who would put her in this place.

The judge called out Howon’s behaviour, and he finally moved away from her, his eyes throwing daggers at every angle he looked. Howon announced that he was done with questioning although he hadn’t even questioned Yeri’s mother. The court adjourned soon after, and Howon, without a word, picked up his things and with his cloak flying behind him in the likes of a dark shadow, he fled out of the courtroom.

Sung Gyu waited until the courtroom emptied, so did Dong Woo, perhaps, realising the gravity of the situation. Sung Gyu’s guards arrived at the entrance, which meant he was safe to have any kind of interaction with the others without getting caught by the public eye. He watched Hyerim leave the courtroom as well, his eyes desperately following her. She wore only a reassuring smile at that time, as if she understood everything that he wasn’t able to say. She did understand him above everyone else, which he had the comfort of knowing, but that didn’t make him feel any better as she had to witness it happening with her own eyes. It’s been a month since they got together, a month they spent together in bliss, comfort and the warmth of each other. Every day he’d spent with her, he seemed to learn something new about her, and one of the many things she’d shown him was that, for her, his past didn’t really matter. Sung Gyu knew, at that moment, that Hyerim would stand in Yeri’s side more than anyone else, see the wrong and injustice that they were all thrown together into and empathise. It was that very message she’d communicated to him with the gentle gesture of her smile before she went away. They would talk about it, tonight. But right at that moment, he had someone else who required talking to the most.

Yeri didn’t leave the room, remaining seated in the witness chair, her head lowered, cheeks stained with tears, and Sung gyu hadn’t the heart to leave her alone in there as well. He didn’t know what he felt for her at that moment. It had been weeks since last met her and spoken to her, weeks since he’d last felt the emptiness she had left behind. He felt...something, and whatever it was, it had him climbing up on his feet and approaching her. She didn’t raise her head, not even in his presence. He stood there for a moment, unable to form the right words to say, then he made up his mind and pressed his hands against the table, moving to her level as if the proximity would make things any better.

“Are you okay?” He asked her, albeit gently. He hadn’t expected her to respond, but she did, with a quick, quiet nod.

“I’m sorry...about what happened, I will have a word with him” Sung Gyu carried on, and she took a sharp breath before looking up at him.

“It’s okay” She shook her head. “It isn’t your fault,”

“He-he shouldn’t have done that” Sung Gyu muttered for the lack of better things to say. “He shouldn’t have said those things to you”

“He is stressed himself” Yeri went on in a tearful voice. “After all, this arrangement is a bit-,”

“It’s not ideal” Sung Gyu sighed, looking away.

“I understand only now” Yeri vaguely replied, and silence.

“Yeri, you didn’t have to...do this” Sung Gyu told her, finally after he’d gathered the courage to do so. A month with Hyerim had given him the strength to be more open and honest with his emotions, and rather than becoming angry as he would have, he was able to approach it in a more rational way. Yeri had just had to go through something unimaginable, and the last thing she would want right now was Sung Gyu making things worse for her.

“The trial wasn’t heading the right way” Yeri replied, shaking her head. “It’s my fault...that you’re here; this is the least of what I could do”

“It wasn’t your fault” Sung Gyu replied gently, leaned down and looked into her eyes. “Yeri, I did it, I made my call. It isn’t your fault,”

“But you wouldn’t have done that if it wasn’t for me”

Sung Gyu gave her a small smile. “Doing it for you was a decision that I made myself”

Yeri had an odd expression at that moment; something unreadable, something between disbelief and relief. It slowly morphed into a smile then, and Sung Gyu couldn’t possibly feel more apologetic towards her.

“You...you have changed, Sung Gyu” Yeri told him, her honest gaze holding his own. “In the good way”

He didn’t know what to say in response. Sung gyu let out a heavy sigh and gently pat on her arm. “Thank you...for doing this Yeri...but given this arrangement, I’d rather if you wouldn’t”

“I just wanted to do my part”

Sung Gyu raised his brows and gave her a tight smile. “You did more than enough”

Sung Gyu couldn’t stay for any longer, but he did do his responsibility and saw Yeri off before he returned to his own bearings. He talked to Dong Woo again, Dong Woo who hadn’t known whom Yeri had been married to all the while. He was the kind of a person who wouldn’t look into other people’s lives so he wouldn’t know certain things unless he was told, and Sung gyu assumed, Yeri who probably knew their history, never said anything to Dong Woo as well. He wouldn’t have let her if he knew, which was for certain. Later after he’d seen Yeri off, Sung Gyu met Howon in his office, who was hidden behind towers of his documents, not in a better shape than he was. Sung Gyu wouldn’t have confronted Howon about it if he hadn’t a good reason to; he had to talk to him, clear out the misunderstanding for they both had hearts to protect.

“Can we have a word?” Sung Gyu asked him the first thing as soon as he stepped in. Howon’s office was atypical of a prosecutor’s room. Crates full of cases, a neat secretary table, far better than of the investigator’s and the prosecutor’s itself. Howon’s bureau appeared a clear indication of the state of his mind at that moment; with Yeri’s pregnancy and having to handle the very case she had gotten her ex husband into, things couldn’t be any better for Howon as well. But Sung Gyu solemnly thought that it shouldn’t give the leeway for Howon to let out his pent up frustration like that. If he did have an issue, especially in terms of interest conflicts, he had all the liberty to transfer cases; it was a privilege he had as a prosecutor, which he didn’t seem to have even acknowledged.

“I don’t have anything to say to you” Howon grunted from the other side of untouched documents, and Sung Gyu too, assumed that it might be the case. 

“Okay, then” Sung Gyu sighed, coming to a resolve. “I’ll just tell you what I’m here to tell you and leave you be”

Howon said nothing, so Sung Gyu proceeded without a second thought.

“There is nothing between Yeri and me. In fact, there has never been, and that’s why we went on separate ways the first place”

Sung gyu had moved on from that phase of his life only not so long ago, and what Howon had done today only put salt on a festering wound that both he and Yeri had. Ever since he’d gotten to learn that Yeri had loved him when he had regretted every second of their marriage, the guilt had been eating him up inside. He had often found himself going back to their moments, moments that had not carried much meaning to him back then but probably had meant to her a lot more. Yeri was strong, yet she deserved all the love she could get, which Sung Gyu himself was never prepared to deliver. Now that things have changed, Howon should be able to do what Sung gyu couldn’t, for Yeri had chosen him. For that, Sung Gyu had to remove himself completely off their equation, sweep out all his remnants and take out all the possible variations of him that he had left behind with her.

“You don’t have to come here and tell me any of that,” Howon replied quietly, yet Sung Gyu understood, somehow, that he believed otherwise. It was further proven when Howon said nothing else, and even paused what he’d been doing, although they never met eyes.

“I thought it would clear out some of the doubts you seem to have” Sung Gyu shrugged. “Yeri and I...we were married, but we, as two people, ended far before that, and it took her too long to realise it. It must have been painful for her to finally realise that she...she wasn’t getting back what she was giving. She chose to part ways, and she’d now chosen you. Yeri had to go through a lot, and I’m completely at fault. But I hope you wouldn’t do the same”

There was a beat of silence then, during which Sung gyu cautiously watched the other. After nearly two months of them working together, it was the first time that any of them had confronted the elephant in the room, and it had gone exactly as he imagined it would.

“Don’t worry, Sung gyu-Sssi” Howon returned after a while, his voice tired, lowly, and he finally looked up at him. “I am not an like you”

Sung gyu didn’t know what it was about his statement that made him smile. It sounded like he was mocking him, but at the same time, it was the hard truth Sung Gyu had realised a long time ago. 

“I guess that set things straight” Sung Gyu sighed heavily, buried his hands in his pockets and made his way to the door. “Don’t be too hard on yourself prosecutor Lee” he called out in farewell, raised a hand for a brief wave before he exited the room. Before he could, however, Howon called him yet again.

“Sung Gyu-Ssi”

Sung Gyu paused, glanced over his shoulder. He could see that Howon had stood up and was reaching for his coat.

“Don’t screw up again” He told him, a knowing look in his eyes. “Things do happen for the best, but not all the time”

Sung Gyu knew what, or precisely whom Howon was referring to. It’s been a month and the signs across the room must have been pretty obvious for Howon’s eyes. On the other hand, Sung Gyu must have been blatant about it too, to some extent. It didn’t irk him. Sung Gyu only gave him a polite smile. 

“I won’t”

The rest of the day went on as usual. Sung Gyu returned to his office, surrounded by his guards and relatively less media people blocking his way. He worked long hours to make up to the time he’d missed during the hearing. It was the only on-going case that he had as the one on nepotism had to end, the committee appointed having not a lot to go by. They had investigated his family background, his relatives and relations most of whom were indeed involved in politics. But his father had made a statement that pretty much summed everything up for them and he was pretty sure had led to the dismissal of the committee. And that was that ‘If I had helped him in getting anything, he would be in the blue house by now’. 

It was pretty ironic, because the media and the opposition who had always been against his appointment was pretty adamant on accepting that it wasn’t nepotism but what he’d gained on his own. Sung Gyu’s father, despite being quite despicable, looked out for Sung Gyu’s well-being in his own way. Sung Gyu had partly expected a similar response from him, for Sung Gyu had never received any kind of support from him in his entire political career, and his father was someone who would be blatant about it. When he thought back to it, the biggest support he had given him was being continuously disappointed in him which had, in turn made him want to work better to impress him, and without even an ounce of support from him, Sung Gyu had come this far. If he was a father, that wasn’t the kind of encouragement that Sung Gyu would have given to his son. But it had worked, either way, and he was freed from the ‘preferential treatments’ allegation, which worked, to some extent, in favor of the ongoing case.

While Sung Gyu was at work, he knew that Hyerim was with Dong Woo, attempting to talk to the witnesses again. They were looking into another strategy, which was to look into evidence to show that it was the other side which had manipulated them to testify against him and against Doyeon all from the beginning. Hyerim was probably breaking the law again for all he knew, and he hadn’t even a way to find out for she and Dong Woo had been pretty secretive about their schemes. He was beginning to have second thoughts of letting them work with each other, because Dong Woo, if anything, would let Hyerim have her way. She had been called back to work after a week of community service, which she spent working at a community centre with another police officer, helping the elderly and working at a daycare centre. She’d come home and tell him about the kids that she’d met every single day, which would leave him quite envious and equally contented, knowing that she was just as fond of children as he was. That was just one of the many things that they never talked about exclusively. Marriage, kids, family, all of those things which appeared so far away from them with the massive boulder of all possibilities of the case coming before them. It was a hurdle they had to cross before they talked about anything else. But with Hyerim literally living with him now, them going to bed together at all chances possible, and at times him having to remind her the pills as she was an easy forgetter, things were equally as uncertain. 

When Sung Gyu returned home after a long day of work, the only thing he desired was seeing her reassuring smile. He hadn’t thought of it before, as Yeri wasn’t someone who’d welcome him at the door or be affectionate at every possible chance, but Seeing Yeri the first thing upon returning home had become an addiction for him. If she wasn’t around, even for a minute, Sung Gyu would easily panic and even think as far as she had decided to leave him. Sung Gyu had tried to grow out of his insecurities, but he didn’t think they were so easy to change.

So just as usual, when he beeped open the front door, Hyerim stood right in the hallway, a huge smile on her lips. She had changed a lot over the month; she’d put on a bit, her cheeks have become rounder, her hair had grown longer. 

“There he is” She greeted in the likes of an announcer in a sing-song voice. “Judge Kim, The youngest of the legislation, the love of my  life”

Sung Gyu felt the familiar warmth blooming inside his heart. He knew he had nothing to worry about the incident of that afternoon, for nobody understood their situation any better than Hyerim did. 

Sung Gyu dropped his bag at the foot of the door, removed his shoes and walked right into her waiting arms. Hyerim hugged him, Sung Gyu closed his eyes and buried his face in her shoulder. The sweet fruity scent of her hair filled his lungs, and Sung Gyu naturally relaxed in her arms. He felt alive again.

“Mmm, I missed you” Sung Gyu muttered, his voice muffled against her shirt. 

“I’m here now” Hyerim replied gently and finally pulled away. She held his face in both her hands, rubbing his cheeks and watching him the way that she did on the very first day that she said she loved him. It’s been a month since then, but it still felt surreal, like he was in a dream, a prolonged dream that he was bound to wake up and into his old, lonely life again.

“And I’m really proud of you. I, of course had no idea how it went, But I know that you did what you think is right, so I’m proud of you”

Sung Gyu felt butterflies in his heart. Hyerim often did that to him, and only with her words which he thought were quite magical, how her words only could make him feel the best in the world. He smiled, his arms bringing her closer in his embrace. 

“I talked to them, both of them” He told her. “Yeri was...okay I think. But Howon was none too nice about it”

Hyerim gave him a smile. “Did he call you an ?”

“I’m not surprised that you knew” Sung Gyu laughed.

She too chuckled, put her hands on his neck. “What else did he say?” 

“He also implied...that he knew about us” Sung Gyu went on.

“Well, he should” Hyerim muttered, her hands playing with his collar. “He knew even before we did”

Sung Gyu laughed, so did she, and silence fell. 

“How did it go for you two?” Sung Gyu then asked her. They always had the case related conversations the first thing they returned home as if it was an obligation to get them out of the way. They wouldn’t later talk about them again but do the couple stuff they couldn’t do otherwise out of the comfort of their shared living space. It was their own unspoken way of leaving their problems at the door.

“Not very well,” Hyerim sighed. “Most of them don’t want to talk to us, one of them got really pissed and threatened to call the police on us even though we didn’t really do anything. I tried to talk to Doyeon again, but it doesn’t look like she’d ever come around”

They’ve been trying hard for the past month, but unfortunately for them, Doyeon had gone to the extent of cutting them out of her life. After the incident eight years ago, she had stayed away from all kinds of news media, focusing only on her job and life, that she had no idea who he even was. Hyerim had tried her level best to get her to even look at him, at pictures and articles of him, yet she had avoided them at all costs, claiming that it was a part of her life that she did not want to go back to again. Sung Gyu wouldn’t blame her. If he had the choice to, he would have done the same. In fact, he had, up until the point where what he’d done wrong had come to bite him back years later.

“It’s okay, you did your best,” Sung Gyu told her, like he always would. He would never admit to it, yet he had always wished for a miracle, a tiniest change of course that could turn the case around. They needed only one thing, one strong thing that could change things. He didn’t know what, but something was telling him that it was certainly out there yet they had failed to grasp.

“Mmm, I want to forget them for now, I want to unwind” Hyerim told him, her lips pouted, her voice somehow whiny but endearing. “And it’s friday night, we can stay up late”

“Says the one who has to go to work tomorrow” Sung Gyu raised his brows.

“Doesn’t matter” She replied, throwing her arms around his neck. 

“Dinner then? Coffee?” He suggested. “We can order in”

“Takes too long” She went on in her whiny voice.

“Coffee it is, then” He chuckled, extricated himself from her before he turned her around and ushered her into the kitchen. 

The kitchen was in an absolute mess. There were dishes in the sink, stains on the counters and the table was still laid out with some of the dishes they couldn't get around to clean that morning. Both of them have been talking about hiring a house maid to do that stuff as both he and Hyerim were caught up with work, but that didn’t just seem to happen as they hadn’t time for that as well. The few things that were constant was that Momo and her related things, which Sung Gyu did diligently above everything else. Even that night, despite the dirty dishes needing his attention, Sung Gyu made sure to hug the cat and refill her food while Hyerim proceeded to put water to boil.

“Ah, I didn’t tell you” Hyerim said at some point as she retrieved their mugs from the loaded sink and went on to wash them. Sung Gyu was still listening as he undid his jacket and loosened his tie, which he laid on the back of a chair for the time being.

“I met Dong Woo’s babies today” She informed him. Sung Gyu hadn’t the time to meet them, although they were born a while back. Dong Woo had told him that his wife gave birth for the second time, and it had been unexpected because it turned out they were actually having  twins, which they found out much later on. Sung Gyu knew this, and also that they were born. But that was pretty much it as he hadn’t a chance to talk about anything else.

“Really?” Sung Gyu looked over at her. “How are they?”

There was a distinct glimmer in her eyes when she talked about them. “Adorable” She replied gleefully. “They’re both girls, and they both look like Dong Woo which his wife is pretty upset about”

Sung Gyu laughed. He didn’t know that people thought about things like that until his sister had her kids and none of them looked like her; she’d complained all the time that she’d carried them nine months for them to look like their father instead. “Dong Woo must be ecstatic then”

“He is!” Hyerim chimed, laughing. “But their personality is like their mum, I think. Calm and composed little angels. They even let me carry them, they didn’t even cry but stare at me with this big starry eyes...they’re so adorable”

Sung Gyu rounded the table towards her, his heart pounding even as he did. There was something about her talking about babies that really got to him. Perhaps it was all his missed chances, his desire to have one of his own yet never had the right time or the chances to, or perhaps it was her fondness, the way her eyes glowed like stars and the way she somehow glowed in his eyes when she spoke about them. Whatever it was, at that moment, Sung Gyu had only one thing in his mind, and that was that he loved her, so, so much, to the point that he wanted to be with her forever; and if it comes down to it, have children with her, be a family with her and nothing less.

“Maybe you’re a natural at it” he told her, and when she looked at him with surprise, Sung Gyu smiled. “With babies...I mean” 

Hyerim’s cheeks took a deep shade of pink as she leaned against the dining table, facing him. “Maybe I am...maybe I am gifted like that”

“Hm…” Sung Gyu stood there for a moment, gazing at her; at her smile, into her eyes, marveling at all the possibilities that their lives held. Hyerim too, was staring back at him, her eyes focused only and only upon him, like he was all that she could see.

“What are you thinking about?” Hyerim asked him, then. Her voice an octave lower, and Sung Gyu effortlessly knew what it meant.

“You” He replied boldly. He didn’t take a second to think.

“What about me?” Hyerim raised her brows, folding her hands on chest. Sung Gyu took a step towards her. “A lot of things”

“Like?” She pushed on, and Sung Gyu knew that she wouldn’t stop until she’d gotten her answers, so he gave her just that.

“Like how much I love you…” he told her, closed the gap between them, being in the closest proximity he could be. “Like how much I want you”

Hyerim smiled, but she’d already brought him closer to her, her forehead pressed against his own. “Then what is stopping you?” She asked him, her lips almost moving along how own, and he didn’t need anymore incentives to move in and pull her into a long, blissful kiss.

They didn’t exactly start off as soft; it was that kind of a kiss, of passion and suppressed desire. It's been awhile since they were really together, and he supposed they’d both had it held in for too long that it had come to a point of coming undone in multitudes. He kissed her hard, swallowed her gasps, his tongue pushing past her lips when she granted. It was her who climbed up on the table behind her, and he parted her legs, standing in between them and pulled her closer to him. He worked on her shirt as she worked on the buckle of his belt. They would have gone past that point, but she paused, gasping for breath and pushed him away when Momo started to howl blue murder by their feet.

“No, not now, Momo'' He groaned, rolling his eyes. It wasn’t the first time, nor would it be last, as if she had calculated exactly when she needed their attention the most.

Hyerim’s fingers caressed the back of his head. “She’s jealous, I guess she wants to remain the only child”

Sung Gyu wasn’t sure if she was thinking straight, or thinking at all when she’d said that. They never talked about it, not once. They’ve never even mentioned a semblance of a child of their own until that point, that her statement had left him unreeling.

His arms around her loosened and he looked down at her. “Hyerim…”

“Hm?” She appeared clueless as she looked back at him as if she hadn’t noticed herself what she’d just done. He remained quiet, and she scanned his face for a while. “Seeing them today left me thinking...a lot” Hyerim finally admitted, retrieving her arms which she rested on his shoulders. There was something about the look in her eyes which made him weak and strong all at once, something along the lines of hope, yearning, something that he was deeply familiar with himself. He didn’t need it worded out any further, for he knew that exact feeling. Sung Gyu’s heart was pounding as he lifted a hand and held her face.

“Hyerim we...we never really talked about it”

Her eyes fluttered, she took up a different glow altogether. Her hand rested upon his own which still held her face, “Maybe we should…”

He thought they never talked about it because they weren’t in the position to do so. It’s been just a month since they started dating, and he’d gotten out of a relationship which broke apart partly based on his reluctance to bring a child into his life. He would give anything to change that now, anything. But the fact that his life stood hanging off the edge of a cliff right now was stopping him. 

“But...are we even ready? With everything that is happening?” He asked her. Even the thought of it scared him, the possibilities. They still owned separate houses, and there was still the possibility of him losing his entire fortune and home at the end of the trial. For this reason, he hadn’t thought of marriage and arrangements yet let alone having children or family, although it was in the back of his mind all the time. Right now he wanted the case to end so he could return to his life again, to love her better, to spend more time with her. With all of that, he just didn’t think-

“It doesn’t have to be now” Hyerim told him as if she’d read his mind. “There is too much going on and...it just would be right. But we can, can’t we? We can, right?”

When he had first let their fate take its course, he had thought they wouldn’t last for long. He’d thought she would leave him, realise that she’d fallen out of love with him and that scared him so much. It felt so temporary for a while, all because the amount of happiness he felt with her just didn’t feel real. Along with time, when it slowly became all too natural to hold her, kiss her and love her, their dynamics changed. Hyerim was on the brink of becoming a constant for him, she probably already was. Sung Gyu felt as if life made sense no longer without her in it. She kept him grounded and moving forward, a reliant force that he had all his trust upon to keep him strong. In that sense, didn’t it also make sense? What she’d asked of him?

Sung Gyu had only become bolder when he moved in and kissed her again. Perhaps that gave her her answers, which he felt when her legs wrapped around him, when she smiled upon his lips. But in between their kisses, he wanted to make it more certain for her, to make it more real for him, a reassurance for himself and her that it was what he wanted as well. “We can…” he gasped against her lips in that brief moment she pulled away to breathe. “We can, Hyerim, I would want nothing  more"

Author's note

I am sorry I took too long to update. I had two assignment submissions and even as I'm writing this I'm studying for my exams that's coming up in the weekend. But as a stress reliever, I write, so I ended up writing this. I know I said that there will be only one chapter left, but then it came out too long so I decided to split it to two. The next one will be a while after this, as I have exams coming up pretty soon. Nonetheless, I hope you liked it!

Love,

Achini