Sung gyu cracked open a can of beer and handed it over to Hyerim. It was quite late in the night, and they weren’t planning to stay for too long. They would certainly have a long day tomorrow, one that was uncertain, given the possible turn of events. So Sung Gyu was going to get drunk and sleep it through, wake up to a terrible day and survive. Thankfully for him, he had someone much stronger than himself to put the anchors down if he fell.

“How are you feeling now?” She asked him, albeit gently as she tucked her hair behind her ear. The wind was relentless, blowing past them in a rush. Sung Gyu had a sip of his own drink and nodded. He felt a lot better now, as he would whenever he was in her presence. She was like a flicker of light for him; whenever things were dark, foggy and sombre, he just had to find her, and she'd lighten up his life. 

“Things must be so difficult for you” She went on, looking ahead. He’d been asked the same question before; it was Yeri the last time, which only made him angrier. He must have hurt her more at that time, which he regretted now. Things were indeed so difficult for him.  Perhaps he only had to agree and admit it.

“Worse than I thought,” He sighed.

Hyerim hummed, he felt a gentle pat on his knee before she moved away. The air had become cooler, perhaps, showing the signs of an impending rain. Autumn was coming fast, months would go by faster. He was unsure how the rest of the days would be, if he’d ever get to sit on the rooftop and share a drink with her again. This could be the last time, he thought. And he wanted to make the best of it.

“You know” Hyerim started after a while, and he glanced over at her. “When you feel like you want to...die, you need to find just one reason to live for” Hyerim glanced over at him as something uncomfortable shifted in his heart. She smiled. “That’s what my dad used to tell me” Followed by a heavy sigh, and she turned back to gaze at the city beyond them. “When I was younger, in my early twenties, I think? I was diagnosed of severe depression”

He took a sharp breath. “You were?”

Hyerim was such a happy person. She was bubbly, joyful, awfully optimistic. He hadn’t met a more resilient woman in his life. He’d never seen her fall or break apart. He could have continuously hurt her with his inconsiderate remarks in the early days of their relationship but she’d just seemed unaffected, laughing it off as if they were nothing. He did, indeed, know her insecurities; her worries about ending up on her own, her loneliness, her fears. But he’d known her as someone who’d fall yet bounce right back again. It was hard to think that she’d ever been...unhappy.

“I was'' Hyerim sighed. “I don’t remember why it was. I think it was because I didn’t make it to the police academy in my first try? And there were a lot of worries too. My then boyfriend left me, he thought that I was someone he just couldn’t be with...I had a big fight with my friends, I lost my weight a lot, I just kind of became uglier…” Hyerim laughed, shaking her head. “A lot of things happened in my early twenties. I probably couldn’t bear them all at once, and I didn't have a mother to rely on. So naturally I fell sick. My dad was so busy that he didn’t have a lot of time to pay attention to me...but he tried. He really tried…”

She trailed away for a moment, her glistening starry eyes reflecting the lights of the city. It was hard to believe that she thought she wasn’t beautiful. Hyerim was beautiful. Incredibly so. Her smile was beautiful, her eyes were beautiful; every time she tucked her hair behind, or when it stuck to her lips, he would feel so many things. Even as he gazed at her at that moment, it was all he wanted to tell her, that she shouldn’t feel any less of her, that she was perfect as she was.

“I tried to take my life….” Hyerim continued, making his heart stop for a second. “Three times, actually. And they said I was a danger to myself, that I should stay in the psychiatric ward. But that drove me crazier”

“Why?” Sung Gyu asked her. He couldn’t stop himself. Hyerim looked at him and gave a small, painful smile.

“I just couldn’t find a reason to go on living” She shook her head. “The third time was the worst” She turned back to gaze ahead. “They said that I could have died if my dad didn’t react fast enough. He was a police officer, so he knew what he needed to do. But i had an irregular heart beat when I was taken to the ER, high blood pressure, a damaged liver...after that, I never tried again”

He remained quiet, her words echoing in his mind.

“A near-death experience showed me the value of life, I think. It should never be the case, but that was how it was for me. I remember lying in bed that day, with all the tubes and wires and everything. My dad was sitting beside me; he took my hand and said ‘The next time you feel like doing it again, find a reason to live for that moment. For just one moment is enough”

He nodded, in his mind a younger Jung Hyerim lying in bed, pale and small and slender. He glanced over at her. “What was your reason?”

“At that time? My dad. I didn’t want to see him in pain again. I didn’t want to see him crying. That kept me living for a long time”

She took a long slug of her drink, and Sung Gyu quietly watched her, rendered speechless, as her fingers tenderly rubbed against the metal of her can. 

“Dad is not there anymore...in the beginning, right after he passed, I thought I had no reason anymore. But then getting into NIS became my goal, the reason to live, climbing up the ranks...making my dad proud. Then….I met you”

At that, Sung Gyu heart stopped beating for an instance. There was something different about the way that she was looking at him at that time; something intangible, something that he couldn’t understand. There was that about Hyerim which was indeed different from Yeri. Unlike Yeri, Hyerim was so guarded, so mysterious. She had so much running in her mind that he could never even begin to understand. Even then, even if he tried to, he couldn’t see past the surface of her emotions, he couldn’t see past her smile. But her words certainly carried more weight than he imagined.

“Kim, now...you’re pretty much my reason to live” She told him in the end. “I don’t know how it happened, or when, but I am determined to make this work out for you, I want to see justice being served, and I’m going to do everything I can to make that happen as well”

“But I did do wrong, Hyerim” Sung Gyu reminded her disdainfully. “I shouldn’t have, but I had”

“But you didn’t do what they said that you did, did you?”

He shook his head. 

“Then that’s what we’re going to prove...so hang in there, Kim. Don’t give up...and don’t take away the only reason I have to live for”

“Hyerim…” He muttered, his heart heavy. He felt burdened, if he was to be honest, to know that he had to go on living to be a reason for her to go on living. The interdependency felt too much for him, and his worries only increased a tenfold. He didn’t want to end up hurting her, for she too was his only reason to keep on living. Sung Gyu had nothing to lose at that point; his job, his marriage, his family, all was pretty much gone by then. All he did have at that moment was her.

She only smiled in return. “Don’t think too much about it, you’re being too hard on yourself…”

“You’ve only made it harder” He sighed.

“At least you wouldn’t have funny thoughts anymore”

He laughed at this, looking away and took a long gulp of his drink.

“So when this is over...the good way or the bad way, you’d find another reason to live?” He asked her after a while. She looked away contemplatively, her eyes narrowed, holding her beer up in the air. “Well, I’m guessing it would still be the same”

Sung Gyu shook his head. “You should find a boyfriend Jung Hyerim”

Hyerim laughed at that. “This is the first time i’m hearing this”

He set his can aside and sat back, leaning on his extended arms. “How are things with Woohyun now?”

He’d had a hectic time that it hadn't even occurred to him to check up on her. She’d been working with Woohyun this whole time, the Boyfriend that she no longer wanted to be with, all for him. He felt guilty, extremely so, when he thought about it. How would he feel like to be forced to work with Yeri? How strong would one be if they were in the situation that Hyerim was in?

“Well...we’d been pretty much tangled up in work that nothing significant happened” Hyerim casually replied. “He’d mention...things, then and there in the passing…”

“I’m really sorry” Sung Gyu apologised, for it was the only thing he could possibly do. “That you have to be in this situation”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “There’s nothing to apologise about”

“And I still think you shouldn’t be involved in the investigation anymore” He pushed on with his most sincere thoughts. “You shouldn’t have to work with him as you’re not leading it anymore...and” in a smaller voice, he added. “You shouldn’t have to do things for me”

“It’s not for you, to be honest” She went on with a shrug. “Judge Ryu did wrong, and he had to pay back for what he did...besides, working with Woohyun doesn’t bother me much; I don’t care for his advances anymore”

“You don’t?” It wasn’t that it particularly made him feel any better, but still, for some reason, he felt a strange sense of relief.

“Not anymore” Hyerim shook her head. “It’s just that...he’d become more or less someone that I work with...and…” She trailed off then, lowered her head and tucked her hair behind her ear again, albeit shily. If it was bright enough at that moment, he would have seen how her cheeks turned red. “Well...I-I actually like someone”

He wasn’t certain how he felt about it. Sung Gyu felt his heart constrict; a knot formed in his throat, yet he felt happy for her. Hyerim deserved as much. And he was glad too that it somehow put him out of the equation.

“Who?” He asked, just out of interest.

“Someone that I work with” 

“Is it someone that I know?” He raised his brows.

“You don’t know half the people I work with” Hyerim scoffed, shaking her head. “You literally know only Woohyun”

Sung Gyu laughed. “You’re right” A moment of silence fell, and he added, as more of an afterthought; “As long as it's not me”

He didn’t know why he felt that way, but with the things that she’d been doing for him, he had felt, in some instances, only subtly in the beginning, that Hyerim might even like him. It was an unnecessary thought, one that he found burdensome. Hyerim shouldn’t like someone like him. A broken divorced criminal. It had bothered him so much that he’d considered, myriad times, if he should cut all ties he had with her, stay away from her, stop all possible reasons why he shouldn’t. As things progressed, however, Sung Gyu got confused with his own emotions. In a disgustingly selfish way, Sung Gyu wanted Hyerim to be there as well; for him to depend on, to rely on, to feel human again. But that was all he could possibly deliver to her being the person that he had become. Yet, Hyerim deserved more, so much more than he could give.

“Why not you?” She asked him.

He looked at her as panic settled in. But he felt at ease upon seeing that she was just smiling, she looked amused.

“Well, for an instance, I’m about to go to jail...and i’m divorced, and…” He sighed, accepting the reality himself. “My time has long gone, Hyerim. Dating, love, marriage...family. They’re not the kind of things I can be committed to”

“You’re just being too hard on yourself” Hyerim told him mildly.

“I’m not” He returned and shook his head. It was the state of his life now; a broken hull of a boat, slowly sinking and beyond repair. “It’s just how it is”

But Hyerim’s ceaseless optimism was not about to relent. “You never know how things would turn out, Kim. You never know” She patted on his knee again and picked up her drink. “So for now, just live as you do...time would take its course”

He had no chance battling her positivity. He’d long understood this. Sung Gyu too picked up his can of beer, and they cheered for no reason. “You’re probably right” He told her in the end.

“I always am” Hyerim replied with a smile.

The next day started off as any other regular day. Sung Gyu woke up to Momo’s daily early morning howls, and he wasn’t as hungover as he expected he would be, so he was able to have an early start. He worked out for a little bit as he had started since recently; did a few push ups, a bit of weight lifting, and went onto have breakfast of just some fruits and toast. He barely had any appetite these days; eating was more of an obligation to acquire energy more than anything else. He went through all the messages on his phone, responded only to those he’d received from Dong Woo. They made plans to meet up again. He hadn’t heard from the prosecution again, so he imagined he was in the calm before the storm. There were messages from his sister and his mother which he duly ignored, paid some bills online as he mindlessly devoured Kiwis and strawberries he’d bought just the other day. He had a bath, let Momo into the bathroom as she screamed blue murder outside the door, and called her a ert as she stared at him into the open shower stall. Momo had done this too often than not, which was nothing new for him. She trailed after him and walked to every direction that he went as he dressed up for work. He pressed his suit, picked a tie without wondering if it even matched his shirt. He contacted his driver after then, who had already arrived and was waiting downstairs with his guards. In the end, he went to the mirror, fixed his hair to appear presentable and let out a sigh. These would probably be his last few days of attending to work as a regular minister. today could be the very last day, he couldn’t tell. He needed self affirmations anymore. Sung Gyu only needed to survive. 

He picked up his things from where he’d haphazardly left them the previous night, kissed Momo on her head as she laid comfortably on the sofa, her face.

“Be a good girl, Moms”

She made this little affectionate sound in response.

It was as he made it to the front door that he realised that it wasn’t going to be an ordinary day. His phones started to ring, all at once; that was the first red sign for him. His doorbell started ringing then, followed by a knock on the door. There were several of them, hard and fast and relentless. He knew that something wasn’t right, by then. Something had definitely gone so wrong.

He opened the front door without checking, and Howon, followed by two or three police officers barged in. He stepped back, baffled by the intrusion. He was not made aware of their arrival.

“What...is going on here?” He wanted to know.

“Check everywhere; the cupboards, drawers, everything” Howon instructed the officers and turned to him. “Prosecutor Lee, as you already know. I have received a tip on possible suspicious documents being in your possession, and we have received a warrant to investigate. Please cooperate, Minister Kim”

He shrugged in response. “I don’t believe so, but if you must…”

They weren’t being very considerate when they pulled all his things out and about. The drawers were pulled open, books and files pulled out of the shelves. Boxes of things were scattered on the floor, papers flying about. They entered his bedroom without permission and he watched them helplessly as they turned it upside down; his books, his comics, his small collection of records, everything thrown around as if he was not a person who owned them, as if they weren’t a part of his life. For the first time ever, Sung Gyu watched with his own eyes as his life fell apart, and he could do nothing about it. For the first time ever, he felt hopeless in a way that he had never felt before.

When one of the officers thrashed a particularly heavy book upon the carpet, Momo got scared and she ran across the hall. Nothing could hurt him more than seeing his bellowed cat being scared away. Sung Gyu tried to chase after her, yet she had already flown out the door; when he tried to step out into the corridor to find her, Howon stopped him. A tight knot formed on his throat. Was this how criminals felt every day in their lives? When they treated them like sub human? When their feelings were of no importance? When they couldn’t even protect what they loved?

“I have a few questions to ask you, Minister Kim” Howon told him. Sung Gyu stared at his widely open front door, wishing that Momo would decide to come in safely herself; but she never did.

“Minister Kim” Howon called him again, and he finally came to. Sung Gyu felt like crying. He knew that his life was indeed going to be over. But why did he have to be punished for something he didn’t even do?

Howown led him to his Kitchen and pulled out a recorder which he set on the table. Sung Gyu just stood there blankly, his mind in a mess. He didn’t want anything else right now. He just wanted his cat back, he just wanted his life back.

“Minister Kim, when was the last time that you met with Seo Minhee?” Howon asked him.

It took awhile for the question to register in his mind, yet, he had no recollection at all who the name referred to. “Who?” He returned.

“Seo Minhee. When was the last time you met her?”

He hadn’t known Seo Minhee for the life of him. “I have never met her” He sincerely replied. “I don’t know her”

Howon merely nodded and continued. “What about Jang Hyeojin. When did you last meet her?”

He had no idea who that was either, nor did he recognise any of the names that he was asked after.  They were just a set of names in his mind, flying over his head as his mind remained in a complete jumble; confused. He had very little memory of what happened eight years ago, he had very little memory of what he had done while being involved in the Belle-Vie case. He knew that he had done something. He was involved in the discussion, he had given his two cents, passed the judge’s side to the executive and the executive's side to the judges, but did he play any part in terms of evidence or witnesses? In a case like this the evidence would be largely circumstantial; text messages, phone calls, meetings and so on. And the witnesses, he could only vaguely remember their faces, some he didn’t remember at all. But at that point, he was in a mental state where he would accept anything that was thrown on his way, just about anything. Howon could tell him that he had tampered with the evidence, and although he had no idea how, Sung Gyu would still say yes. Howon could tell him that it was him who passed the unfair judgement, who chaired the judge’s seat, Sung Gyu would still say yes. He just needed all of this to over with.

“Okay” Howon sighed in the end. “So Minister Kim, you’re telling me that you recognise none of these names” Howon pointed out to him. He just wordlessly nodded. He wondered if his questioning was over so he could go out and find his cat.

“They are the names of the witnesses involved in the ual assault case from eight years ago of an executive staff member of Belle-Vie cosmetics..does it ring a bell?”

Sung Gyu shook his head. “I don’t know the witnesses, I have not met them, nor spoken to them ever in my life”

Howon nodded. He looked down at his feet for a second, and looked up at him with his brows raised. “Then why do every single one of them say that they all met you at some point, where you’d told them to testify in a certain way?”

Sung Gyu stared at howon, perplexed. How could they even claim that when Sung Gyu didn’t even recognise them?

“But that’s-that’s impossible Prosecutor Lee, I don’t even know them” He reasoned out in his defence.

“Seo Minhee, Jang Hyeojin, Kang Jinyoung, Baek Seolji, Kim Eunmi; all of them have testified that Judge Kim approached them at varying times in a span of two days between 11th and 12th July 2011 and forced them to testify against the victim Kim Doyeon. Is this true minister Kim?”

How he expected for Sung Gyu to remember what happened on a day eight years ago was beyond him. But the worse thing was, he didn’t remember anything. The case itself had left his mind until the point where the recording resurfaced, even there, there was only so much that he could recall. What if...what if he had met with the witnesses? What if he had spoken to them and, as they put it, forced them to testify upon being asked to do so? What if he had done it for the executive and Judge Ryu, given that Sung Gyu had trusted him? At that moment, everything seemed real and unreal to him. He was on the blade’s edge, unsure what to believe and not to believe, unsure if he should trust his own intuition or what five other unknown women had claimed.

Sung Gyu, therefore, pulled out a chair with his shaking hands and fell upon it, his head in his hands, his fingers entangled in his hair. His head was so heavy that Sung Gyu thought it was about to explode.

“I don’t remember,” He finally replied.

“If you do not remember if you have met these women, could it be that you don’t remember them as well?” Howon pushed on. And the worse thing was, he could be right. Perhaps he did know all of them by their names and faces, but somewhere in the ashes of his past, those recollections could be buried away. He had met so many names and faces in the years of his time as a judge; and these names and faces could be among them. He just didn’t remember at all.

“I don’t remember” Sung Gyu reiterated, his voice muffled against his palms. His world was spinning, and in his pockets, his phone kept ringing. It could be his driver, his guards, his secretary, anyone. It could be the press, the police, the judges, anyone who is prepared to ruin his life; but Sung Gyu had no energy to respond to any of them. He just wanted to fade away.

“Then, if we happen to find the said document in your possession, Minister Kim, it would stand strong evidence for your conduct” Howon informed him. To which, Sung Gyu didn’t reply. He remained quiet, his hands pressed on his face, trying to catch his breath again. Everything was a mess. Everything; and he saw no way out of it, no way out except-,

“What is going on here?”

It was yet again, his fate working in the strangest ways. She should be at work right now, she shouldn’t even be here. As if she had heard his distant pleas, his pain, Jung Hyerim had come right back for him. And she’d found his cat. This, Sung Gyu knew only when he felt her soft fur against his hand. 

Hyerim was stern and poised as her usual investigator persona would be. She handed Momo over to him whom he cradled in his arms, and against her small protests, he kissed her soft fur on his head. Sung Gyu had thought he’d lost her for a moment. He had thought he had lost everything, but Hyerim had come right back for him.

“And you are?” Howon questioned her, appearing not very appreciative of her interference.

“Jung Hyerim, NIS” She held out her identity card. “I’m also Minister Kim’s victim protection appointed by the NIS after his flat was trespassed by an intruder”

“Officer Jung” Howon nodded in acknowledgement and introduced himself “Lee Howon, the prosecutor in charge...we’re here on a tip we received on Minister Kim possessing a set of  suspicious documents”

“Whom did you get the tip from?” Hyerim asked in return.

“I’m afraid, Officer Jung,” Howon took a step towards her and buried his hands in her pocket. “That’s information I’m not allowed to disclose”

“Hm” Hyerim rested her hands on her waist. “So you’re telling me, Prosecutor Lee, that you’ve acquired a warrant to investigate someone’s private property upon a tip you received from an unknown informant?”

“That-,” Howon started with a heavy sigh, but before he could continue, he was interrupted by one of the police officers who approached him. 

“Sir-,” Called the officer, and Sung Gyu looked up at him, so did Hyerim, so did Howon. In the officers hands was the haphazardly written list of the witnesses’ information that Hyerim had given him the previous day and since had remained in the pocket of his jacket, all forgotten. Sung Gyu took a deep breath, his eyes focused on Hyerim. She would take it upon her, he knew. And he couldn’t let her to.

“That-,” He stood up in new found fervour, not even knowing what he could say.

“Wait it’s-” Hyerim said at the same time. They looked at one another, and Hyerim looked stoic and undeterred, even as he slowly shook his head ‘no, don’t do it’. He could still see how her mind worked, the way her thoughts strung together, formed the words. He knew what she was about to tell them, and he just couldn’t possibly let her.

“I-I can explain…” Sung Gyu stepped forward, trying to take a stand in the situation. Howon glanced up at him as he examined the document, his brows raised as if to tell him that he’d been caught lying. Sung Gyu didn’t know what to say next. He had nothing in his defence. He had nothing to explain.

“These are contact information of the witnesses, Minister Kim” Howon told him. “The witnesses that you said you never met”

“I never did,” Sung Gyu returned sincerely. “And I don’t-,”

Before he could continue, however, Hyerim interrupted him.

“It’s mine,” She said. Her face was strate, expressionless, even as he gazed at her across the room. He couldn’t say anything else in return, Hyerim never left him the room to.

“What are you talking about?” Howon asked her exasperatedly.

“I gave it to him” Hyerim replied, raising her brows. “And do you know where I got it from?”

Sung Gyu, rendered completely speechless, could only gawk at her as she put a hand in her jacket pocket and produced what he could only recognise as folded white sheets of paper.

“From this” 

She opened it, and in neatly typed writing was a document from the District court, with all the details about the witnesses listed down. She stepped over to Howon and handed it over to him. 

“Minister Kim’s flat was intruded right around the time the recording was delivered to the NIS'' She continued as Howon examined the document himself, his eyes opened wide. “There was nothing important taken from him, but when investigating the intrusion, we were able to find the intruder; the information fraudster ‘K’ was seen loitering about in the apartment complex, someone who is known to have close connection with the Gangnam police station. What was ‘K’ doing here if nothing was taken from Minister Kim?”

Hyerim took another step towards Howon, at which point, he looked up at her. “Nothing was taken from Minister Kim that day. But something was left behind” She gestured at the document in Howon’s hand. “I found this document in Minister Kim’s flat when I’d helped him clean this place, and Minister Kim was unaware of it being there, not even that I found it. And Gangnam Police, who were involved in investigating it when it was first intruded, never found it either. So what does that say?” She gave a lopsided smile, her head tilted, and there was something about her posture that made her appear indispensable. She had no idea what she was doing to herself.  “Someone is trying to frame him”

Howon stared at Hyerim as Sung Gyu too, stood back, perplexed. At which point did she find the documents before he did? How did they get to her hands? What had she been doing with them? Why did she never tell him? Why bring it up now? What was she trying to do to herself?

“Officer Jung” Howon started in a grave tone as he stepped away from her. He handed the document over to the waiting officer who securely gathered it as evidence. The expression on Howon’s face was grim, probably just as grim as the expression he had on himself as well. He wasn’t relieved or confused at that moment, Sung Gyu was just angry beyond belief.

“Officer Jung, do you realise the gravity of what you have done?” Howon asked her, to which Hyerim merely smiled.

“I’m perfectly aware”

“What right did you have to collect important evidence in your personal time and keep that with you? This would only make you an accomplice”

Hyerim shook her head. “I didn’t take it and just keep it with me, Prosecutor Lee. I took it to the forensics, I had it analysed. I have the reports of the analysis; to simply put it, the documents, ideally should have been from 2011 when they were first printed, assuming that Minister Kim had used them to first contact the witnesses. But the analysis showed that the ink the documents have been printed in belongs to a specific brand of a printer that was only introduced in 2017, a whole four years after the documents should have been printed….so-” She shrugged. “Its fraud”

“What about the written document?” Howon pushed on. 

“I wrote it,” Hyerim replied simply. “I wrote it for Minister Kim so his lawyer could contact them”

Howon stared at her, appearing amused. “As far as I’m aware, you’re not the leading investigator of this” He told her. “It’s Investigator Nam. I’ve met him...Is he aware of this?”

“He would be'' Hyerim replied coolly, yet he could see colour leaving her face. She had been impulsive again, she had done what she shouldn’t have done, knowing well the consequences. Sung Gyu wasn’t sure whom he hated more right then. If it was her or himself who allowed these things to take their course.

“You were the leading investigator before...but you were replaced as a disciplinary action?” Howon continued, his patronizing gaze never leaving her. Hyerim remained quiet, yet her expression of absolute confidence, not for once, did waiver. “There will be more disciplinary actions after this, probably even worse...were you aware of this?”

“Yes” She simply replied.

There was silence for a moment, and Howon retrieved his hands from his pocket before he took a sharp breath. “Well then...I suppose our work here is done”

He glanced over at Sung Gyu, then at Hyerim. A knowing smile appeared on his lips. “And I don’t know what’s going on here, Minister Kim. But I might have to inform you that it’s not going to end very well”

Sung Gyu didn’t tell him anything, he couldn't, for he could see the gravity of the consequences as much as he did. Hyerim had unwittingly dragged herself into the crisis, put herself in the place of an accomplice; he could never know what she was thinking at that moment. Whatever it was, Sung Gyu hated her for that. Sung Gyu hated her for doing this to herself.

“Have a good day then” Howon told them as a final note, and to Hyerim, he added. “See you in court...Jung Hyerim Ssi”

Howon and his team of officers left his house as the scattered mess they’d made of it, but he had much more of a scattered mess to deal with as of now that his mess of a house became inconsequential. He didn’t know what came over him at that moment. Perhaps it was the anger and frustration that the entire debacle had brought him, perhaps it was him venting it out on the closest subject he had; but Sung Gyu found himself cornering Jung Yerim against a wall, rendering her powerless. She mustn't have expected such a reaction from him, he could tell, seeing the way that she gazed at him, a flicker of surprise and perhaps even fear in her eyes. But he couldn’t care less, for she had mindlessly done exactly what he had told her not to, and there was nothing else he could do.

“Are you out of your ing mind?” He asked her; his voice was cold, low, so unlike himself. “Why did you do that?” 

“Which part” She returned, meeting his eyes. She was so close at that moment that he could see right into them; her relentless courage, confidence, resilience, all of her. 

“All of it”

Hyerim shook her head. “If you knew that it was here, then he’d have read it right off your face, Kim. You’re so open, so transparent. Even if you’d lied, you wouldn’t get away”

“So you think this is a better solution?” He returned, his voice shaking. “Do you think this would make it any better?”

“Better than you thought,” Hyerim returned. “You made it obvious that you weren't aware of it, so now it's all on me”

He threw his head back in agitation. That was exactly what he’d feared, that she’d take it upon her, take the hit, take the blame and walk away like it never mattered. That’s the Jung Hyerim he knew, and he hated her for that.

“Why...the would you do something like that, Jung Hyerim, do you not know what it could do to you?”

He earned a smile from her at that; a smile of utter confidence and satisfaction which only irked him even more. 

“I knew...I know…” She ever so boldly replied. “And I also knew what would happen if I didn’t. If you found it, what would happen? You were already being framed for manipulating the witnesses, would you walk into the NIS with the documents in hand, do you think they'd believe you? Kim, you already know how the law works in this country; you’re and you will be guilty until proven innocent, they will point at you until there’s enough evidence not to. Do you think I can sit back and watch that happen? To you?”

Something heavy had instilled in his heart upon her words; the realisation that only Hyerim would be brave and altruistic enough to to take a leap forward even if it put her life on the line, and the realisation that, knowing she would do exactly that for him for whatever the reasons she had, Sung Gyu had let her. He was in the wrong, he had, for his selfish reasons, kept her hanging and tangled in his personal struggles without pushing her away when he should have. He had let her lurk around, he had let her in deep. He had let her do this to herself. He had done wrong. 

Sung Gyu felt moist in his eyes as his hand fisted against the wall beside her. If only he had realised this and pushed her away, if only he hadn’t depended on her unhealthily in the way that he had, none of this would have happened. If Sung Gyu were to go down, which he already had, he should have on his own.

“Hyerim why…?” He asked her in the end, his head lowered, voice quiet. The anger had dissipated now; in its place was relentless remorse. “Why would you do this? Why would you keep on doing this?”

Silence for a moment and, “If I didn’t, nobody else would”

“And I told you ing not to!” He exclaimed, slamming his fist against the wall, and upon that pressure, his skin broke, his knuckles bled, but he couldn’t care. “I told you to stop, Hyerim. I told you not to do it anymore, but you still did…”

“Kim, I was just doing my job,” Hyerim replied desperately. “Judge Ryu is framing you, he’d put the whole case on you and get away so he could get into the supreme court, and you did nothing wrong-,”

“So ing let him!” He yelled again, an anger and energy he had never felt forming inside him like a raging fire. “Let all of them! Just let them! What more do I have to lose, Hyerim? I’ve lost my wife, I’ve lost my family, I’ve lost everything, what more do I have to lose? And you? You have no ing idea what this would do to you! Do you think I could sit back and watch when they drag you into something that I’ve done eight ing years ago? Do you think I can let them do that to you?”

“Why not?” She returned, for once raising her voice. Hers was steady, unyielding, perhaps a lot stronger than he was. “Why not? Why does it bother you so much? I didn’t do anything to you? I didn’t hurt you? So why not, Sung Gyu?”

Why not? He wanted to ask himself; he did. Why did it bother him so much that she’d do this to herself? What angered him so much when she appeared to give no two cents about her own doing? What made him so upset when Hyerim seemed to have no regret? Why him?

Sung Gyu had no answer to that, he had nothing to return with, no defence. But he did know one thing at that moment; one thing that he'd never acknowledge to her in words. Sung Gyu was afraid of losing her. He was afraid of losing her so much that the only thought which worked in his mind was the need to protect her, but she’d only made it impossible for her by doing the exact opposite of what he’d told her to, and that enraged him more. There was only one way to stop her now. Whatever the reason she had, she’d continue to do what she did; there was only one way to stop her, and that was by tossing her away, pushing her right out of his life.

“I want you to stay away from me, Jung Hyerim” He told her, his eyes fixed deep into hers. “If you’re going to continue with your crazy, rampant, impulsive , I can’t have you involved with me anymore. Things are ed up as they are, and the last thing I want is you making it harder for me...do you understand?”

At this, Hyerim only smirked in response. “Do you think I’d do any of that?”

“You wouldn’t” He took a sharp breath. “But I would…”

He left her at that. He pulled away from her, gathered his bearings and didn’t look at her twice before he left the flat, slamming the door shut behind him. He knew Hyerim wouldn’t stop now, not after she’d come this far. It was him who had to take the incentives to stop her. He had to push her away, keep away from her, keep her as uninvolved as he could. He should do what he hadn’t from the beginning, he should do the exact opposite of what he had done all along. There was no other way of protecting her, Sung Gyu realised with a pang, without hurting her in the process of doing so, And he hated himself for that. He hated her for making him take that step forward, he hated everything and everyone for putting him in that place. But at that moment, with a heart heavy and cold as stone, Sung Gyu left her with no hopes of returning again.

When Sung Gyu was still a child, he’d been taught how not to cry. That was not in the kindest way, and the scars remain up to this day, into his adulthood like a thick wall built around his heart, not allowing his emotion through. When he wanted to cry, he’d feel like he was about to combust. His heart ached, his head pounded, a thick knot would form in his throat; yet he couldn’t push past that point. Sung Gyu would hold it in as his father’s voice would echo in his ears. ‘Stop crying!’ He would say. ‘Stop crying like a fool!’ He could still feel that hard slap on his thigh. He was very little back then, couldn’t be older than ten and he’d probably fought with his sister again; over a comic book perhaps? Over the TV remote? Over who’d get the larger piece of fried chicken? He couldn’t remember. He’d probably fought with her, and his father could have beaten him up for that. He’d start crying, naturally. It was all he knew to do when he was in pain. But his father had taught him not to. It was for the weaklings, It was for the fools. ‘You did something wrong, you get punished for it; now don’t cry like a fool about it. Accept it and live with it’

Even at that moment as his driver drove him to the ministry, that was what he was trying to do; with his house destroyed, with his loved ones pushed away from him, Sung Gyu was being punished for what he’d done wrong. There was nothing he could do.

They were only a few minutes away from the Ministry when his chief of staff from the front seat passed on his tablet computer to him. His chief of staff has been working for him ever since he’d gotten the position, been there for the previous Vice-minister of the legislation as well. He played the part of his secretary when she wasn’t around. 

“We have an issue sir” He told him as Sung Gyu took the tablet fom him. He sat back, his eyes focused on the screen. Sung Gyu’s hands froze. He had been seeing this coming all along, but actually having to look at in print. A shrill ran down his spine. Things just seemed to fall from bad to worse.

On one of the leading online searchers were hundreds of articles upon his name. He was one of the top searches on the political category, and it was not for a very good reason.

‘Kim Sung Gyu’s ministerial appointment; another result of Nepotism?’ Said the top most article. He scrolled down to the next, his heart pounding.

‘With the latest scandal of Jung HyunSu, Kim Sung Gyu’s ministerial appointment comes to light’ Said the next. He scrolled to the next, and the one after, all as his hands trembled, heart pounded, his mind a complete mess. They were all directing and attacking his appointment which happened so many months ago yet was being pulled up to the surface as a result of Jung Hyunsu’s appointment in the congress, a politician who was known for his younger age and also had strong connections to the former Minister in Foreign affairs. The main concern as it happened was how so many young politicians were coming to power, and questioned the possibility of nepotism and strong political connections behind their appointments; And Sung Gyu, who had only been elected to his position without a single push from his family or his background, was naturally being dragged into it.

“They’re demanding an investigation into your appointment sir, following the Jung Hyunsu controversy” His chief of staff informed him. “A number of grassroot organisations are protesting outside the ministry. We might have to make a detour to the back entrance”

Sung Gyu heaved a heavy sigh. He felt like he was drowning, held down deep under water. “Any word from Minister Baek?” He asked him.

“None at the moment” His chief of staff replied. “But this might affect the ongoing investigation of the Belle-Vie Acquittal”

“It would” He agreed grimly, looking away at the calmness of the streets outside. When he had told Hyerim that morning that he had nothing to lose, Sung Gyu hadn’t thought he’d be completely right. He’d thought he’d have even a flicker of hope; somewhere deep inside him, he’d prayed for a miracle, for second chances. But now he realised that it had all been nothing but wishful thinking.

When he thought more about it, however, there was no way that they could possibly find nepotism behind him acquiring his position. He had no support from his background and certainly not any influence from his family or strong connection with other politicians. His family had a political background, alright; his father being a former councilman and all. But they could go and interview his father all they want, they would understand just how much of family influence he had had behind his appointment. If anything, his father would announce to the rest of the world how incompetent and disappointing his son had been. Their claim would only become inconsequential; but how people, the media, especially would use that against him was the biggest of his worries.

The driver took the longer way to the ministry and they drove so fast that the car went nearly flying over the slope as they pulled into the parking lot. They were indeed further away from the protests; however, there were a bunch of media personnel scattered about at the back entrance, their mics and recorders held at them like guns. Sung Gyu’s guards quickly took their place, building a human barricade to pave his path towards the entrance, and his chief of staff hurriedly ushered him through against the loud yells and protests of the reporters and the flashing cameras. It was vaguely like the first day of taking over his position at the ministry; the swarming reporters, crowds gathered at the entrance, the news articles, the flashing cameras on his face. But only, back then he had a bunch of shiny eyed admirers and young supporters holding banners outside the building instead of protesting grassroot groups; instead of the angry cameras, mics and reporters, he had much calmer welcoming medial presence who respected his personal space, kept the distance and photographed him on the first day of office, a bright and confident Kim Sung Gyu attending his first day of work.

How things have taken a hundred and eighty degree turn in a matter of months was astounding and equally terrifying; how he went from a beloved young politician to someone who was treated less of a human, how people could go from loving someone unconditionally to hating them with the same fervour. He had never felt like it before, not as strongly as he did right then; but Sung Gyu would have wanted nothing more than leaving this all behind.

“Are you alright Minister Kim?” His secretary asked him as soon as he arrived at his personal office. He had had to pass by the judgemental stares and questioning gazes on his way up here, but his guards somehow had him shielded along the way, from what he couldn’t tell, but at least he felt protected, and he could feel relief settling inside him only in the comfort of his own four walls.

“Good for now, Secretary Kim” Sung Gyu hurriedly replied as he went for his desk. He was quite later than usual; Sung Gyu had been a lot of things as the Vice Minister of the legislation, but he had never been late to work. He felt like he’d missed on a substantial part of his daily routine although it had been only a few minutes. He his computer and glanced at his waiting secretary.

“What have you got for me, Secretary Kim?”

“Well” She looked down at her tablet computer. “There’s been a sudden committee meeting called for in ten minutes...Minister Baek has informed that your attendance is mandatory, Sir”

“Is it about the protests?” He asked, gesturing at the vast window behind him.

“I believe so, yes” She cleared . “They need to look into what solutions could be taken to resolve the issue…”

Sung Gyu sighed and approached the window, of which the blinds were still down. He parted the metal strips with his fingers, allowing the morning light to reflect in through the window. There was only very little he could see beyond the vast lawn of the ministry, but at the main entrance he could catch the sight of the gathered crowd which had increased by numbers from when he’d first seen it in the news reports. Sung Gyu returned to his desk and fell back into his chair, feeling a heavy weight upon his shoulders. This position had only become a burden to him on top of the issues he already had. 

“There isn’t a solution that the committee could give them Secretary Kim” He told her, and with a smile despite the heaviness in his heart, he looked up at her. “The only way is that I resign”

His secretary stared at him across the room, her face unreadable. His secretary had to be only a few years of his junior but had ample experience working alongside a number of ministers. She was smart, quick and meticulous, knew her way around her work very well and had been a massive support throughout his tenure so far. Sung Gyu had thought myriad times that he wouldn’t have come this far in his position if it wasn’t for her endless support, being the one running the ministry behind the seat of the Vice minister. And now, perhaps, it was time she moved on to work for a better, more capable minister who had less personal issues that she had to deal with.

“Sir…” She started and quickly regained her composure. “I believe there will be more feasible solutions, and the committee will discuss them with you...at the meeting”

“Well…” He shrugged and sat back, having almost made up his mind. “We will see how that goes…”

The secretary nodded and continued with reciting the rest of his schedule like she would on any ordinary morning at work. He opened his inbox afterwards, and had many more requests and reports waiting for approval, he had an invitation from a law faculty of a well known university for the opening day of their fresh new batch of law students. Everything was pretty calm and normal like they would be on a regular working day, but only he had this strong nagging feeling inside him, one that was telling him that none of this was right. 

The truth was, in the back of his mind, he’d had this thought all along ever since the Bell-Vie recording came out, and that was that he probably was not deserving of most of the achievements he had made. Perhaps he did get this position under the influence of something strong that he’d never identified. Maybe the votes were results of people’s attraction to his charisma rather than having considered his ability to chair the position in the first place. Hadn’t he won in the general election with a very good number of votes enough to claim the seat, he wouldn’t have come this far, and perhaps, the reason behind the votes that he received possibly wasn’t what he thought it was. Considering everything that happened and their progress, Sung Gyu had doubts serving in the legislation anymore. There had to be better people than himself who were more capable and deserving of this position, people with more experience, better qualifications, and especially with no past of being involved in fraud. Perhaps this has all been a dream, one that he wasn’t deserving of, one that wasn’t meant to be. Perhaps it was high time that he accepted this reality and take a step back, or stepped down from this once and for all.

One by one, Sung Gyu would remove everything he believed he didn’t deserve, the unreasonable care of an investigator who just wouldn’t back down, a position which put him up on the pedestal and staff who should be working for a minister who’d do a better job from this table, this seat, than he had ever had; he would remove himself from all of them, one by one, until he had nothing left in the end.

He attended the committee meeting  which would decide his fate afterwards. When he entered the meeting room, the committee of five ministerial officials had already gathered along with Minister Baek who was gazing out the parted blinds perhaps at the protesters outside the entrance, holding up boards and banners slandering his name. 

“You’re here...minister Kim'' She said, no greetings, no welcomes. Sung Gyu could see the dark shadows in her eyes, the weight, the anger, the frustration. It was her calmness that worried him the most when she made it to the centre of the room, to her seat. Although Minister Baek had been strict around him, she’d also been incredibly supportive, and now he felt like he’d disappointed her, an emotion he felt heavily in his heart.

“Take a seat, Minister Kim” She gestured at a chair beside her. He did as told, quietly, apologetically, his head lowered, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. 

“So, shall we begin?”

The committee, as he was informed, was gathered to discuss the necessary steps to be taken in order to resolve the issue of the protesters as well the media response related to his appointment. Many opinions and propositions were raised, only a few in favour of him while most were raising questions. How were they going to prove that there was no special treatment behind his appointment? What if the issue of the Belle-Vie acquittal reaches the media? Wouldn’t they then question the legislation’s inability of selecting suitable candidates with necessary background checks? Basically, as he understood, his continuance in the ministry chairing the vice-presidentship would only pose more and more issues upon the legislation itself. After hours of talking and discussion where they were unable to come to a fair conclusion, as the protests continued strongly outside their gate, Sung Gyu came to a final resolution. He had given it so much thought the past few days; if it had all been worth it, all the hard work he’d put into it, all the suffering, the pain, the commitment, had it all been worth it, if the outcome of it all was this? Considering all of this and also his innermost thoughts, what he wanted and wished to do, how his future would take the course, Sung Gyu had come to a decision himself.

“Now” Minister Baek said tiredly at the end of a nearly two hour long discussion. “What is the final decision this committee had come to?”

There was audible silence, as the gathering itself was unsure of what the outcome would be. Sung Gyu, who had remained quiet throughout, watching their exchanges, listening to their thoughts finally took a stand in the discussion and climbed up to his feet. He looked at the officials before him, and then at Minister Baek who gazed at him with inquisitive eyes. His heart felt heavy, yet in his mind he was certain. Sung Gyu knew what he had to do.

“Minister Baek'' He started and scanned the faces of everyone else. “And the committee...thank you everyone for gathering here in my support; I hadn’t expected things to take this turn when I had first joined the ministry…” He looked ahead, feeling warm in his eyes. He could still recall the very first day, that happiness, that confidence, that sense of accomplishment he had felt when he’d taken the oaths and chaired the Vice ministership for the very first time, although it had only been a few months, less than a year, Sung Gyu felt as if they were all so far away. None of it mattered anymore. “I was happy to work here…” He continued in a thick, lowly voice. “I was happy to work with all of you. I learned so much, I was able to gather much experience and I am thankful of the opportunity that you all and everyone who’d voted for me had given me...but now, given the unprecedented circumstances...I don’t think I can continue in this position in the ministry any longer…”

Silence fell as he lowered his head, and he could feel all eyes upon him when he put his hand in his jacket pocket, produced the neatly folded letter and laid it upon the table before him. It was the only way, it was the only right way. Although with remorse, with sadness, he had to take the leap. He made the right call.

Sung Gyu gave a deep bow and remained in this position for a few seconds. He couldn’t be apologetic enough, after all that Minister Baek had done, after all the entire ministry had done for him, he couldn’t be apologetic enough. “I’m sorry” He announced to all of them, looked up, and to ease the stunned silence, he tried to give a smile. “I’m sorry...for everything that happened in the ministry due to my rash, badly calculated decisions and negligence. I will repent on my actions and try to live better…”

Sung Gyu had thought he hated this position, he hated this place. But it was only after he’d left it that he realised how much he’d actually cherished it. Sung Gyu had achieved very little in life. He was talentless, he had no awards, no guiness records, he was bad at sports, and had nothing he was particularly good at. Winning the election, achieving this position, therefore, had been his biggest achievement, his only pride and joy. Once he’d asked his mother if she ever felt he was important to her. She had told him he was, and when he’d asked in which way, she’d looked at him with wide, brilliant eyes and smiled. “Because you’re a Minister now”

He hadn’t been important before then; that’s how he’d understood. Now that he’d left it, Sung Gyu would no longer be important to her. He would have value as little as a dry leaf flowing and forgotten in the wind, and that's what he had to live with for the rest of his life.