“This is ridiculous” Sung Gyu muttered under his breath as he hurried across the vast hallway, past his expectantly waiting subordinates, the weight of the world plagued upon him. Ridiculous was an understatement for the vile turn that his life had suddenly taken, although that was the kindest and most professionally appropriate description that he could use. It was beyond ridiculous. It was ing pandemonium.

The only thing he liked about his new office was the consistent air conditioning in the sweltering summer heat, the plush chair behind the large mahogany table and the strategically secluded office room, away from all the judging eyes of the world. He wasn’t even sure why he deserved them, all those side eyed glares, hushed conversations and criticisms he received on a daily basis. It wasn’t like he ever really asked for this. It just so happened, and he hated himself. He realised, it had to be what they said about being too smart and having way too many potentials when he was back in college. It never really came to him as a blessing. Too much of anything never did. He should have known this by then. But he had not a single clue.

A couple of years later then, aged Thirty-Six, Kim Sung Gyu was appointed the Vice-Minister of the Legislation Ministry. He was a politician; literally a politician, with guards and expensive cars and a nine-figure salary that he’d never even dreamed of receiving. As nice as it all sounded in the beginning, Sung Gyu frankly felt like he was being punished for being too bright for his own good. He didn’t want it. He’d rather remain in the peaceful division he’d always been in.

“...and finally, the detective from NIS had scheduled a meeting with you this afternoon, and as its urgent, your entire afternoon is cleared”

His secretary was still talking, he realised, her small but polite voice was so much as a shrill cry in the back of his mind. These days, a lot of things got stored temporally in the back of his mind; meetings, presentations, panel discussions. Sort of like a cache memory which immediately cleared itself when overloaded. He knew it, all the way from the beginning that he was not ready for such great responsibilities. He was strong, alright. Having been engaged in law and jurisdiction in his entire career, he had to admit it was his best suite. But running an entire office was not really his cup of tea. He couldn’t take the pressure, he couldn’t deal with the responsibilities. And on top of that, had to take a different turn and literally hit the fan.

“When is the meeting with NIS?” Sung Gyu asked her, his voice strangely authoritative despite how he actually felt. He hated himself, really. This was why they thought he was the right candidate. He just couldn’t be sincere enough. He sounded so resilient and authoritative, so sure of himself. He’d often heard from his family and everyone he knew. Sung Gyu was intimidating, confident; attractive. No wonder he got himself into unnecessary trouble on a daily basis.

“Uh...at one-thirty, sir. I’ve scheduled it in one of the conference rooms, as demanded”

“Demanded by whom?” Sung Gyu raised his brows.

“The NIS, sir”

The ing nerve.

“Fine” Sung Gyu sighed. “Anything else?”

The secretary consulted her portable. “Not for the moment sir”

“Good. I’ll see you after lunch”

He remained seated, straight and strong, his head held high; pretentious, all until the secretary disappeared behind the door. As soon as the door closed however, he collapsed against the plush chair, groaned audibly and tugged at the knot of his tie in exasperation. Ridiculous. That’s what it was. It was ridiculous, what his life had become.

Sung Gyu had never really wanted to be a politician. He wanted to be a civil servant, only because that’s what both his parents were. And he wanted to be a good citizen; that’s what his social responsibility was. Having grown up and having reached a certain stage in his life, he’d come to understand that he couldn’t possibly be all three all at once. If he was a politician, he would still be a civil servant, but he’d no longer be a good citizen. On the other hand, if he wanted to be a good citizen, he wouldn’t be both a civil servant and a politician. If he was a good citizen and a civil servant, well then, he wouldn’t be a good politician. Funny how these things worked. They never really took the course that their textbooks used to say. It was a struggle, becoming who he’d turned out to be. The problem was, however, how was he going to survive? Be a good citizen, a civil servant and a politician, how could he survive? That was the question.

It all started a couple of months later after he took over his position as the Vice-Minister of the legislation. Sung Gyu already knew just how vile and toxic a good media play could be. He’d seen that, he’d worked with that. But he’d never imagined he’d ever become a victim of one. Becoming the youngest ever to hold such a high ranked position in the political arena then became a nightmare for him, as the media began to dig into a past he’d never known he’d had. Things started, and then things progressed, then ultimately, he was accused of having been involved in some secret meeting among preceding judges on special treatment towards a large business conglomerate, some master plan on bailing the defendant out of prison.

The problem was, though; Sung Gyu didn’t even remember having any such meeting with preceding judges ever in his life as a judge. He was severely underpaid, but he was professional. He did his job right. He didn’t even remember a case about a business conglomerate that he was involved in anyway. True, they judged hundreds of different cases every month and hardly any of them stayed in his mind. But a secret meeting would remain with him surely. It was supposed to be a secret. Was he the kind to forget a secret? He supposed not. So how did he get involved in it anyway?

The question kept him up from his sleep every single night.

That afternoon, after a lunch in his office canteen which he barely touched, frustrated by the side-long glances he got, he waited patiently in the conference room for the meeting to begin. The mask was on back again. Inside he was a nervous wreck, outside he was calm and poised, uncaring as a block of wood. Someone could so much as poke him with a finger and he’d collapse in a mental breakdown; but when he spoke, he sounded like someone who actually knew what he was doing.

The truth was, though, Sung Gyu did know what he was doing. He wasn’t sure how he got caught in this whirlwind anyway. It was just an ugly media play. He was pretty sure he didn’t get involved in some illegal bailing masterplan. But the image he had was just on the brink of getting tarnished, and the meeting with the NIS detective today would decide everything. It depended on how he carried himself, how he presented himself; how confident he was making his claims, laying out his points. Even a single blink of an eye mattered. Fortunately, he knew how these interrogations went. And he also knew just how much it could stand against him as well.

A couple of minutes later, the door to the conference room opened, and Sung Gyu regained his composure. He remained still, unsmiling. He couldn’t let his frustration show. The sound of the door opening was followed by a series of hushed speaking voices and the sound of high heals on the marble floor. Sung Gyu stood up from his plush chair, clocked in the sight of the NIS officer, and he stared.

If the things couldn’t possibly be any worse.

He had to continuously remind himself to keep his face straight and don’t just ing react. It took so much of his self-constraint, but he couldn’t help but realise how it was becoming even more ridiculous.

“Kim Sung Gyu” he bowed almost mechanically, his face absolutely stoic, almost robotic. But he didn’t fail to grasp that crinkle of a smile in her eyes.

“Jung Hyerim” The NIS officer replied. Her voice was stern and resonant, but the small almost mischievous curve of her smile seemed to insinuate more than what he bargained for.

“Shall we start?”

Sung Gyu nodded. And they did.

The interrogation went as smoothly and expediently as all first interrogations went. He’d thought there would be lie detectors and all the whatnot that all these investigators from NIS used. He never really knew they didn’t use those for real; he hadn’t been a criminal in his life the first place. As the idea floated into his mind, he felt bile in his throat. All his life he’d tried his best to live the life of a respectable citizen. He’d never committed a crime, not even a small one. He’d never gotten a parking ticket or run a traffic light, he paid all the taxes in time and never missed a single rent. He hadn’t even cheated on a government examination and voted diligently in every election; yet here he was, being interrogated for what could be one of the worst crimes a judge, present or former could ever commit ever in their lives.

Apparently, the media had received them from a secret, anonymous informant as soon as he’d been appointed - hence becoming the youngest high-ranking executive in the Ministry of Legislation. It could have been out of spite, perhaps. Or it could have been with the sole purpose of ruining his career and his reputation for good. Sung Gyu was on the tip-top position in his career, with a clean profile and potentials and a look of absolute confidence and intimidation. He was a character that anyone would want to break apart. As the detective explained the course of the crime, Sung Gyu felt trapped and pinned to a corner, frustrated and defenceless. When he’d first accepted the job position, it wasn’t what he’d expected. He’d thought he was well deserving, but apparently not everyone thought that he did.

“It’s a series of wiretapped conversations, all from the inside of a mediation room” Jung Hyerim informed him in her chilled, exuberant tones. As she spoke, Sung Gyu realised two things. One was that he had never known anyone ever had access to mediation rooms in the court other than the judges, clerks and the guards let alone bug them unless it was during an actual mitigation, which happened under surveillance, so the idea itself appeared ridiculous to him. The second was that he’d never heard Jung Hyerim talk in a tone like this. He hadn’t even thought it was possible for her to, as all he’d heard and seen was a completely different her.

The interrogation ended with the NIS team promising to look into the possibility of fabrication of events and possibly giving him the access to the recordings as the investigation progressed. Until everything was clarified, he was still allowed work as appointed, innocent until proven guilty, yet he was not permitted to leave the country or his current place of residence. He would be under guard apparently, which was going to be a pain in the neck. The interrogation was fruitful still. At least he still had a say in it. At least he still had the chance to prove his innocence.

But as the day came to an end, Sung Gyu leaving work after a long and exhausting day, everything appeared inconceivable, uncertain. What if he indeed had ben engaged in such a conversation yet it had skipped his mind? What if he had, god forbid, been engaged in a conversation he most certainly knew no heads and tales of and still had given his opinion? There’d been millions of meetings that he’d had with the fellow presiding judges in his division; even from outside his division. He had barely kept track on what he’d heard and discussed, what had transpired back in a completely different phase in his life. It’s been ages already, he’d done almost two different jobs since he’d received his promotion from his earliest position. And whatever happened just about eight years ago had completely left his mind. He hated it that now all the things that he’d somehow forgotten now remained a stifling dark cloud above his mind.

“That’s a lot of beer for one person” A familiar voice floated into his mind and Sung Gyu took a moment to come to. He looked around himself almost dazedly, down at the twelve-pack of chilled cans of beer in his hand and then across the isle at the owner of the voice. She had raised her brows so high that they disappeared behind her clumsy bangs. Upon meeting his confused gaze, she gave him one of her usual crinkling smiles.

“Oh umm...” Sung Gyu slowly returned the Twelve pack into the fridge and grabbed himself a six-pack instead. She was right across the isle still, observantly watching him. It was the tension and exasperation of that noon all over again. Sung Gyu let out a heavy sigh and turned to the other.

“What do you want Jung?”

Jung Hyerim gave him one of her signature doe-eyed looks and shrugged. It was strange how her personality could take a complete 180 degree turn outside of work. Not that he’d met her as a criminal at work before. He’d met her a couple of times during working hours, and she’d been unreachable; stoic and stern, professional. Come evening, however, she changed character completely like wolves transformed in the full moon.

“Leave me alone then” Sung Gyu groaned grumpily and pushed his shopping cart away from her. He wanted to be away from her, far, far away from her. He’d kept a fair distance from her for the past couple of years; but she’d been able to step over the boundaries a couple of times, and it was almost impossible to shove her away. Due to the recent advances of their professional interventions, Sung Gyu had to increase his distance from her by a multitude. He might as well change his usual place of grocery shopping, and maybe move out too, if possible.

“Are you trying to avoid me?” Her chirpy voice came from behind him, and he considered leaving his shopping cart behind and leaving for good. He was here for just some Ramen and Beer. It was one of those Friday nights when he’d be binge drinking to pass out on his futon and throw up all over the toilet bowl next morning. He could get Ramen and Beer just about anywhere, if that meant he’d be avoiding the woman who literally now had his whole life in her hands.

“I’m tired, Jung” Sung Gyu sighed again, and concentratedly went through the content in the Ramen isle. Hyerim was just behind him, humming thoughtfully as she looked through the content in his cart. He hated that she always acted like his personal detective, all until she became his personal detective herself. She criticised his eating habits, she criticised his choice of ties and mode of transport and everything he did after having observed him with a careful eye, all the way down to what he’d been feeding his (sister’s) cat. Sung Gyu was tired, frankly, of having her hanging behind him, watching everything that he did. It wasn’t like she was stalking him. She did that to everyone. It was just what she liked doing. Its just that he’d been her unwilling client for just far too long.

“That’s a different brand of kibbles today. Momo is not going to like that” Hyerim informed him before she moved past him for the instant noodles. Another thing about Hyerim was that her best and the biggest interest more than him was his (Sister’s) cat. It was because of that thing that they made acquaintance in the first place. Ever since then, Hyerim’s been lugging behind him like a slug he was just too repulsed to tug off. Sung Gyu ignored her, grabbed his cart and moved away. He’d had enough of her for the day, what with the whole investigation fiasco. One Jung Hyerim was more than enough for him. Two of them, or one with multiple personalities, he didn’t think he could handle.

“Hey Kim” Hyerim called him again. Sung Gyu ignored her, moved down to the frozen foods isle and picked through the measly pork sausages with no interest.

“Kim! I need...a bit of help here”

“Do it yourself” Sung Gyu groaned lowly under his breath.

“Kim...I just...I can’t...”

Sung Gyu gave it one second, and then two, then closed his eyes. Why did Kim Sung Gyu always act like a push over? Why did he always respond to people’s demands? Why did he let people do whatever they wanted with him?

He wanted to get done with things, that’s what. He was just tired.

“What do you want” He so much as growled but demanded, only to turn back and see Hyerim struggling to reach the top shelf. One of her legs was balancing her on the rack and her small bony hand was clutching onto it as the other pawed desperately at her favourite noodles. Sung Gyu let out a frustrated sigh and approached her. He could easily reach the top shelf without so much as raising his hand. He grabbed about three packets for good measure and dumped them unceremoniously in her cart. Then he stomped away.

Another thing about Jung Hyerim was that, at about age of twelve, she must have stopped growing. He must be not right about this one, as she was a fully-grown woman herself. But she was just about a five feet tall tiny woman, barely reaching his chest if they stood face to face with each other. Thing was, they could never be face to face, not even if they were sitting in the same height. He could fold her into two and tuck her in his pocket if he had to. But her miniature physique didn’t stop her from making other people’s lives’ miserable. She was cute, kind of. She looked youthful for her age. Sung Gyu always thought she was pretty in his eyes, but god, as soon as she opened -,

“What are you so mad about?” Hyerim was asking him as she followed him down the aisle. “Is it about today? You shouldn’t be mad at me, honestly. I was trying to help you...and stuff”

Sung Gyu halted in the middle of the aisle and turned to her. “Did I talk to you just now?”

“Huh? No... but” She shrugged and lowered her gaze.

“Good” Sung gyu muttered and moved ahead.

“But come on, don’t be mad at me. I mean, I trust you and I think everything is just stupid and-,”

In panic, Sung Gyu moved hurriedly towards her and pressed a hand on . Hyerim and her ing trap. It was for this reason that he despised her; she had no control over , and despite being a detective, she’d be one day doing a jail sentence for revealing important government secrets.

“Hrmp! Let me go!” Hyerim snapped and Sung Gyu pushed her away from him. “Shut your trap, geez”

“I wasn’t talking about anything” She snapped again. “It’s just...I don’t know, stop being so moody”

“Well, if what happened to me happened to just about anyone, moody is the last thing they would be” Sung Gyu spat back at her, exasperated.

“I understand you” Hyerim shrugged. “It’s a pretty big deal, yes...but can’t you like, I don’t know, have some faith in me on this?”

“Faith? On you?” Sung Gyu scoffed and moved away. “Faith my ”

“You should. Because I can help you out”

Sung Gyu halted and slowly turned to face her. She was small and pretty and loud mouthed and everything he despised. But for that one moment, Jung Hyerim was suddenly the girl that he saw in the interrogation room in the morning. Stern and honest and unyielding. She seemed to carry promise within her, and he wanted to trust her. He wanted to, but-,

“There’s nothing you can do about it” He sighed.

There was long moment of quietness, and the two of them stared at each other, expectant, anxious. Hyerim bit her lip. “I know you. We’ve been neighbours for five years, Kim. And I know you enough to know that you wouldn’t...” She trailed off and stared at him, and her eyes seemed to tell him everything that he refused to indulge. That she trusted him, that she knew he would never be one of them, that she knew him better. But would that even be enough to prove his innocence? To a whole court? To a whole government? To a whole country?

What could this small girl do anyway? How can she even go against a force that she hadn’t even an idea of its multitudes?

And why did it have to be her, of all the people?

Sung Gyu stared at Jung Hyerim for a moment, and he let out a sigh. He was expectant. He couldn’t help himself to be not to. But he couldn’t let it show. “Just...leave me be” He told her instead.

My Hiatus is a lie