I’m really tired, I’m really struggling

It’s even hard to breathe today, how was your day?

You’re smiling, you look like you’re in a good mood, it’s nice to see

Will you tell me your stories?

w/c:1.4k

Star wars au, their reunion when Jinki comes back (late) from his mission. Brief discussion about loss (in connection to being lured to the dark side) I hope you like it ;D sequal to fine!!!

The council meeting seemed to be dragging on. He leaned back in his chair, back still straight with his legs crossed under him, and eyes following the man in the middle making his case about why he should be the one to get one of the younglings to begin as their master. The man seemed competent enough, his marks and abilities up to par to handle training one of the next generation of Jedi, but if Jonghyun was honest with himself all he wanted to do was go into the library and check the star database for any news of Jinki’s mission. It had been over six months. He should have been back already, or at least have some information of a scheduled flight back. Neither such things had happened.

His attention was brought out of his thoughts when he felt all eyes in the room landing on him. “Yes?”

“Master Jonghyun, what is your vote for Taekwoon to be given the role of Master?”

He hummed, bowing his head and smiling a little as he rose it again. “My vote is yes.”

“Than with the absence of Master Jinki, that concludes the voting.” The head of the council smiled. “Congratulations. Your padawan will meet you in the training grounds first thing tomorrow morning. You’re dismissed.”

The Jedi Knight bowed deeply before making his leave. When the large doors didn’t close like normal right away, the circle of Masters shifted a little in their respective seats. A hooded figure was approaching, clock swishing around their legs as they moved. As the person stepped into the domed ceiling room, they pushed their hood back, and everyone in the room relaxed a little. Jinki walked into the middle of the room and bowed, but not before the corner of his mouth quirked up when he noticed the flash of bright, light orange coming from Jonghyun’s eyes the moment he saw him. “Ah, Master Jinki. It’s a pleasure to see you’ve returned from your mission unscathed.”

“I have. I’ve come to give my debriefing, if the council will permit it.”

“Please proceed.”

—-

The blinds on the window were still closed, the rooms looking inhabited for over seven months, as Jinki leaned his head back against the couch. The silence of the rooms was comforting to him as his eyes fluttered close. A slow smile pulled at his lips when the door soundlessly slid open. He turned his head, opening his eyes to gaze at his visitor. Jonghyun flashed a little, shy smile as the door closed behind him. Jinki laughed lightly, “Well aren’t you going to greet me properly?”

Jonghyun only smiled sweetly, arms held in his sleeves against his tummy. “You’re home.”

Jinki pushed off his seat and with sure steps he was bringing Jonghyun into a warm hug. His right hand was pushed into his long hair, the other on his lower back, as he pressed his nose against his neck, whispering, “No, Jonghyun. Now I’m home.”

“I was a little worried when the sixth month rolled around and there was no news of you.”

He withdrew gently, hand still on Jonghyun’s lower back as his other moved to cup the man’s cheek. “I promised I’d return, didn’t I? When have I not gone through with my promises?”

“The first mission we both went on with our Masters.”

“Besides that one time.”

“You’re right.” Jonghyun leaned into the touch for a moment before moving his hand over Jinki’s short hair. “It hasn’t been this short since we were padawans.”

“The long hair almost blew my cover,” He hummed before shyly asking, “Do you like it?”

“You’re beautiful.”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.You kept me going when things got bad.” As Jonghyun kept petting his hair Jinki’s eyes fluttered a little. The act of affection stopped when the man’s expression turned serious. “You’ve shared my bed Jonghyun, but I’d like to have you more than just a rush of passion the night before I leave on a mission. If you would like to as well that is.”

Jonghyun’s palms were placed against his chest, eyes downcasted as his lips parted. His hair fell into his face a little, but before panic could set in completely, he met Jinki’s gaze and asked, “You still want to be with me with everything we’d be risking?”

“When I shared my bed with you, I did so with every intention of it not being a lone instance of my affection for you.” His gaze roamed the soft curves of Jonghyun’s face in the warmth of the light of the room. “May I kiss you?”

“As long as it’s not the last you ever give me.” Their noses were brushing, so close they could feel the warmth of their breathing against their skin, when Jinki grinned. A little laugh escaped his lips as he gently pushed his fingers into Jonghyun’s hair, before their lips melded together.

The kiss was followed by another, and then another, until Jonghyun was curling his fingers into the fabric of Jinki’s robes. With a chuckle Jinki pulled away, giving a small peck when he saw Jonghyun pouting. “Would you like to start where we left off when I left?”

Jonghyun remembered that morning, waking up against Jinki’s chest with the man’s fingers running up his side, only for the warmth to be shattered when he had to leave. “You aren’t going to leave before the sun rises?”

“Not until we have the meeting to go over the rest of my mission.” He pushed a thick part of Jonghyun’s hair behind his ear with a sweet, hopeful smile. “I just wish to hold you within my arms.”

One more slow kiss was given to him before Jonghyun pulled away without a word. He began to walk toward Jinki’s bed, carefully going through the motions of untying his robes, which he let fall in a heep of fabric on the floor. Jinki watched, as if in a daze, as Jonghyun sat on the edge of the bed. His black hair was cascaded down his left shoulder as he leaned down to undo his boots. Once removed he stood, fingers on the threads of his pants, before he looked up and took a shuddering breath with how Jinki was looking at him. “You’re looking at me as if you’ve never seen anything more breathtaking.”

“I haven’t.” He exhaled heavily before repeating himself, dazed, as he began to close the distance between them. “I haven’t.”

—

Jinki smiled, eyes still closed, when he felt the soft, hesitant fingers moving along the bump of his nose bridge. “Yes, Jonghyun?”

“These last couple months,” Jonghyun quietly began, “I’ve been struggling with how I feel about you.”

“What about them?”

“The worry I had for your wellbeing made me feel like I was being possessive over you in the way that could tempt me over.”

Jinki shook his head rapidly, hand quickly cupping Jonghyun’s cheek, “You’re the brightest star I’ve ever seen. You’re so pure and good my love.”

“But if I lost you,” Jonghyun swallowed thickly. “Or if you lost me. Are you sure you wouldn’t be tempted to the dark side?”

“Even if I never opened my heart to you, losing you would be something unimaginable.” With a kind smile he caressed his cheek. “You’re my best friend Jonghyun. I have faith that you’re loyalty and goodness wouldn’t change. Besides, I was worried about you, but it didn’t deter my focus on my mission, and neither did your feelings for me change your focus from your duties to the younglings.”

“I guess you’re right.” With a soft sigh, Jonghyun’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment. “Will you tell me some of your stories?”

“Which one?”

“The one of the watering hole during your mission this time.” Jinki snorted a little, but he shifted to get more comfortable to begin.

“Well first,” Jinki squeezed him close to his side, big smile on his face, “The planet had such a beautiful view of it’s neighboring moons. You’d have loved it.”

“Oh?”

“Like pictures on a book page.”

Jonghyun softly smiled as he listened to the warm, luring voice, and watched the way Jinki’s eyes lit up the deeper he got into his tale. The uncertainties he once felt, seemed to just melt away for just a few moments.