Huh, don’t look away, what’s there to be awkward about

When everything within your reach is all yours

I don’t know what you’re waiting for

W/c: 1.1k

Pairing: Jongyu

Star wars au where they are Jedi Masters and against everything they are taught they fall in love. This is the night before Jinki leaves for a far away solo mission Oh uh tw:death??? for a little discussion of the possibility of the mission ending that way.

Even before the fist landed against the door, it was sliding open. Jinki flashed a little smile at Jonghyun frozen in his doorway, arm raised as if he was about to knock. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I came to bid you goodbye.” Jonghyun gave a little nervous smile, “i thought you might want to be left alone before your trip, but may I come in?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t have opened it if I wasn’t up for it.” Jinki stopped moving around the logs in the fire and moved toward the small tray with a glass bottle of alcohol. “You could have done this tomorrow morning when I go to take off.”

“I didn’t want an audience.” Jonghyun carefully sat on the opposite end of the couch before looking over with a small smile. “Plus, I’d like to believe our friendship deserves more than a few moments on the take off platform.”

Jinki carefully held the two glasses between his palms, laying them before them before he got comfortable on the couch. Their fingers brushed when he handed Jonghyun his glass. “Our friendship is.” He studied Jonghyun’s face carefully, sensing something was wrong, but nothing specific. “You’re here for more than a simple goodbye Jonghyunie.”

“I hate when you do that.” He mumbled, but there was no malice or negative feeling behind the words. “Saying goodbye for a simple diplomatic mission is one thing, but this-”

With a soft smile Jinki leaned back against the arm of the couch, twisting a little so his right leg was up on the cushion. “In all my years knowing and training beside you, I’ve never known one Jonghyun Kim to be lost for words.”

Jonghyun’s eyes flicked over to him and the deep, yet vibrant blue told Jinki all he needed to know. “I’m serious Jinki. You could die.”

“I could die on a trip to the council.” His smile fell when he realized his words did the opposite of comfort his friend. He reached over to take Jonghyun’s left hand between both of his own, gently squeezing it. “I promise I’ll return. You’re confident in my abilities are you not Jonghyun?”

“Of course. No one is stronger than you are with the force.” He was quick to agree, shaking his head as he said them causing his hair to fall into his eyes.

“Before you know it I’ll be stepping off my ship on the landing platform.” When he tried to remove his hands Jonghyun’s fingers curled around them, keeping their hands intertwined. His eyes still showed how worried he was. Jinki was reminded how open and vulnerable Jonghyun was being with him, and it caused a strange feeling to return to his chest. “I’ve never seen your eyes that blue before.”

Jonghyun reverted his eyes, looking at their hands for a moment and Jinki was worried the man would go back to hiding his features he got from his mother’s side, but when he looked back at him the color had only changed to a light pink. A color he had never seen before. “I’ve never cared about anyone like this before.”

Their frozen gaze was shattered as Jonghyun looked away, quickly removing his hands and pushing off the couch. The movement pulled Jinki from his daze and if he stretched just enough he could touch Jonghyun’s fingertips as his hand swung by his side. “There’s no need to leave.”

“I’ve said too much.” Jonghyun gave a little smile as he looked over and the deep brown of his eyes, yet beautiful, hurt. He was blocking his emotions again.

“You’re my friend Jonghyun.” A little wiggle and he could touch his entire hand. “I wish to spend my last night here for a while with you.”

A deep sigh blew past his lips, eyes fluttering close as he frowned. “You don’t understand. The way I feel about you goes against everything we’re taught. The oath we took.. Staying here only deepens the sin.”

And then it clicked. The feelings he had felt for years training along  Jonghyun, being friends, during all the missions they were sent together on, working for years to push them down and erase them for how wrong it was to love another… they were mutual. The next words left Jinki’s lips without a thought. “Oh, but I do.”

It was a miracle Jonghyun didn’t hurt himself with how quick he looked toward him. “What?”

His eyes were indigo, swirling so beautifully as Jinki stepped closer. He brought his other hand up to cup Jonghyun’s jaw. “For years I’ve looked upon you as something unattainable, something unfathomable, and I’ve always pushed the feeling away because the order would never approve. We’d lose everything.”

As Jonghyun’s hand covered his, his fingers were slightly cold. “What’s different now?”

“I’m going on a half a year long mission to the far reaches of the galaxy with no communication with the order or with you.” The corners of his lips curled up slightly, eyes reflecting how hopeful he was. “I wish to kiss you Jonghyun. Will you allow me?”

“We could lose everything, and you still wish to press your lips upon mine?”

Their noses were brushing softly, “I wish for a proper goodbye. If something happens I wish to not leave this world with any regrets. Not kissing you at least once would be the greatest regret.”

Jonghyun’s breath hitched when he felt Jinki’s right hand move around to rest warmly on his lower back, right where his robe was tied around his waist. He could feel Jinki’s breath across his lips they were so close, and the words, “I wish for you to kiss me,” were barely past his lips before the distance was closed completely.

Their embrace deepened, bodies pressed together and arms wrapping around each other as they worked through the inexperience of kissing together. Jonghyun tasted slightly of orange, the sweet yet bitter taste coming through as his tongue flicked against Jinki’s teeth. Jinki’s lips were so warm and soft, tasting of the brandy in his glass sitting on the able to the right of them and slightly of mint. When they parted Jinki laughed softly at how bright the magenta of Jonghyun’s eyes were, a fair comparison to the tint of his cheeks in the dim light of the room and the city lights through the window. Their eye contact didn’t break as the curtains behind Jonghyun began to descend, blocking the view from the window. The fire flickered, their shadow dancing on the now closed curtains. “Stay the night with me.”

His answer was initiating another kiss, followed by a soft, “I’m yours.” given in a quick breath between kisses.