Suho almost choked on his own saliva. His lips slowly curled up in fascination and giddiness as he hid in-between the small dark alley nearby. What a pleasant and amusing surprise! He never expected of all the people he could have thought of, Sehun would be the first to step out. The young, solitary man whose likes and dislikes were drawn into clear line had stated an obvious interest towards the new member of their team, although he wasn’t too sure what his motive was. The closer he was to knowing Sehun, the more he was convinced that this man was shrouded by mystery of his past.

Sehun was the third member to join after Baekhyun. When he first came, Sehun was battered and muddled, seemingly a little dazed and confused. He refused to say a word, and Suho thought that the young boy was mute from whatever trauma he experienced in the past. It wasn’t a shocking revelation to the two older boys as they were dealing with hardships on their own, sometimes losing the battle against their ghosts, so they let him be, neither comforting nor isolating him from the group. Although the Twelve seemed close-knitted, their trauma prevented them from truly coming undone, hence the polite distance they maintained to keep the privacy between the members.

Perhaps, due to this policy, Sehun grew to be quite a character. ‘Selfish’ wasn’t the right word to describe his quirk, but he was too closed off and detached from the outer world that the sole existence of his universe became him, and then everyone else. And since he felt responsible only for himself, he grew to neglect the potential of connections with others. He didn’t quite understand people’s concerns for his well-being, as well as their fascination to meddle with his business. He, for one, thought that it was completely unnecessary to make small-talk and noisy chit-chat, because ultimately, what everyone wanted was personal benefits. And he learnt from the mastermind of human behaviour, Suho, on how to understand them, but unlike his mentor, he never really went out of his way other than understanding whatever was necessary to achieve his own personal gains. From his childhood to his adulthood, these wounds had turned to scars – irreversibly damaged and almost impossible to heal.

Suho thought it would be difficult for Sehun to live a normal life – more so than the others. Unlike him, though, Sehun had the freedom in his grasp as his consciousness was never bothering him with what was right and wrong, or where his sense of duty lied. He envied the younger man, for life must be simpler when everything was grey. He smiled and observed the keenness in Sehun’s eyes. Who knew, really – perhaps Sera could bring a change of colour to his monochromatic life.

Beautiful eyes, tall, with a streak of tenacity and rebellions. He recalled the first time they met, she, too, was staring at him with bold, unwavering eyes, as if she was assessing, not quite doubtful but very careful about who her opponent would be. She was strong, yet fragile – just the type that Suho really liked. A conquest without challenge would not be interesting without competition, no? He smirked and hid his figure in the dark of the night. Suho would certainly love to join in the fun, as well.

* * *

It came like a thunder strike in the midst of a beautiful evening with clear blue sky. I wasn’t too sure… Maybe? Like maybe I had heard wrong and it wasn’t meant to be that intimate, or maybe it wasn’t meant to be anything romantic at all. Startled and still a little hesitant, I looked at him for a long time before opening my mouth again, this time softer and sounding quite lost in order to lure out his intention right from that pretty little mouth, “You mean… interested as in mission-kind-of-interested? What use of my ability would you like to have?”

Sehun’s eyes twitched in humour. Indeed, it was hard to convince someone so dense even with a straight-forward manner. And yet, he felt the need to mark his interest from very early on, more so to warn the guys not to mess with her than any other reasons. Perhaps it was still too early, he sneered to himself. He had all the time in the world to himself for this lifetime, and yet, as he thought, in return for this ability, we usually died decades earlier than normal human. It was probably the result of defying the law of nature. Luhan coughed twice when he saw Sehun engrossed in his own thoughts, and that when the latter finally replied, his tone was still the same as usual – still gentle and yet void of warmth, “Well, if you want to take it that way, then so be it.”

I heaved a sigh, relieved that he was quick to clarify. After hearing the sound escaped my mouth, Luhan seemed perplexed – almost shocked, even, such that he narrowed his eyes in what looked like disbelief of my complete and utter insensitivity of the current situation, and at Sehun, who was absolutely nonchalant about Luhan’s reaction. “Anyway,” I cleared my throat and spoke with half the confidence I usually had. “How many of you are here to spy on me? Assuming that, of course, I’m not of utmost importance for most of you to show up.”

Luhan held back the urge to reply because he knew that nothing good would come of it. For one, nobody needed to know why two of the strongest members from the Twelve showed up in this city, and how this job had come voluntarily on their parts. He looked a little lost at the moment, as his steps unconsciously quickened when he drowned in his thoughts, blissfully oblivious to his surrounding. “Is that a trap?” His eyes were filled with questions that seemed a little too inappropriate for times like this. Still, out of curiosity, perhaps, and maybe good heart, as well, he replied, “Because we wouldn’t be here if you’re not important.”

I clenched my fists and pretended to smile. Topics of romance and affections always left me tongue-tied. Sure, I could be tenacious and sharp-tongued, but I was always cautious when it involved the matter of human’s hearts. Hearts were fragile and meant to be broken, and that was what I strongly believed in all these years. Nothing good would come of love and lust, because one would lead to a slow, painful death and the other to one’s utter demise. Either way, it was the most exquisite form of torture – to love another more than oneself and to love another more than life itself. And then that voice spoke up in my head again, almost like a reminder that how upset I was at this moment was how much I had missed that man. Just wait a little longer, my precious Sera.

I in a deep breath and halted immediately. It had been five years since I was seventeen and weak. Two years since I left the organisation. Six months since I learnt how to control my emotion better to avoid any form of communication with the Rebel. And yet, when I was at my weakest, he spoke to me in the interrogation room and urged me to live on, giving me a tiny bit of hope that escaping was completely possible, despite the fact that I was on the brink of insanity after the torture. And now, I had slipped up yet again, allowing myself to be vulnerable. Tonight had been a mistake. I should not have come here and seen Daniel. I knew someone from the Union would follow me here sooner or later. I just had too much confidence in myself and my ability to ensure my own safety.

No! I suddenly panicked at the thought. That was pure selfishness. I miscalculated the fact that even though Daniel was strong as a Shield and a fighter, it wasn’t impossible to break through his barrier with sheer force. Of course, there had only been a few persons who managed to do so, but I had not expected that even Luhan would be able to tamper the Shield to such extent. I wanted to protect Daniel, not offer him on a silver plate to the Union. How did I miss this? How could I be so foolish and selfish? I had not even considered that if there was one Luhan in the Union, there was bound to be someone else who could break free from Daniel’s power. I was so upset that my whole face turned pale.

“What’s wrong? You’re not breathing properly,” Sehun turned around and saw me ten steps behind, face so solemn and dark. I gasped and almost choked while trying to breathe and calm down, but I was too distracted the whole time that I ended up establishing a link of communication between my mind and his. No, I paled down even more. I didn’t want to talk to that man, nor did I want to let him know where I was so easily. He might have a way to track me down, but I could always slip away quickly. However, if he had the means to establish a mind link for us two, he might be able to take control of me easily. It would be no different from going back to the cage that he prepared for me – like a good puppet that he desired me to be.

Sehun grabbed a hold of my hand and the moment he reached out to touch my shoulder to help, a spark of electricity rushed through the bottom up and hurt me so much I immediately pushed Sehun away with all my might. Calm down. I fell to the ground pathetically and struggled with the pain. If I was patient enough, good enough, strong enough, I would be able to do this. But the voice spoke up again, this time with mock and ridicule although he sounded a little sleepy. So that’s where you are right now. In Rio, trying to visit Daniel. What a loyal friend. Haven’t you learnt your lesson that no matter how far you go, I’ll always find my way back to you?

Luhan was confused. Sehun knelt down but he wasn’t trying to touch me physically anymore. He massaged the sore spots on his palms and fingers – the places he got hurt most, and subsequently, glanced down at me. He looked like he knew things he shouldn’t have, like I couldn’t actually hide anything from him and he had known it for a while. “Luhan,” He instructed calmly. “Come here and take a look at her condition.” Luhan bent over and crouched down in front of me, feeling a little helpless at the current situation. “Your ability is pretty similar to hers. If you could touch her and send a little jolt of electricity to the cells in her brain, she would not be in such pain anymore. Of course, you have to make sure you do it fast.”

“Don’t touch me!” I growled at the two of them. “Don’t! I can handle this!”

Sera, forever underestimating the capability of our connections. Haven’t I told you the first time I met you that we are meant to be? That voice spoke again. It was taunting me like I was the game he wanted to play. I scowled at him but chose to keep quiet. The more he spoke, the more anguish it brought me, and the stronger the mind link would be. Don’t speak, I ceaselessly prayed to myself, Please don’t speak anymore. This man was associated to everything I loved and hated about life – an abundance of feelings overflowed, an overwhelming amount of hatred, and a nostalgia of how it used to be.

“If you let her be, soon she will lose herself from the suffering. By then, we won’t be able to save her anymore,” Sehun urged. He didn’t think that much of this was done out of good will. Still, his cold, detached tone at the moment had caused the hesitant Luhan to grab me without a second thought. All I thought of at the moment was how that voice in my mind chuckled in delight over my pain and confusion – as if he had known, despite all the screams and commotion around me. The last word he spoke to me sounded ambiguous, but the meaning was clear. Soon, Sera – exactly the words I had spoken to put the compulsion on Daniel.

Luhan’s hand felt very cold but soothing. The pain ceased a little at his touch. Sweats poured out of my entire body as I shakily stared at him. It felt foreign… whatever it was I was feeling. I must have been shocked by the sudden jolt of electricity and my brain was not functioning normally, because at that moment, I in a deep breath and thought that under the silver moonlight, on a Friday evening, in Rio de Janeiro, for the first time since I beat my heart sour from the pain of a broken one, I thought someone else was beautiful. Not the kind of surface beauty I had seen far too many from all the people I had worked with, but the kind of beauty that seeped into my heart, rendering me speechless. Who knew – may be I really was damaged by the brain to have thought so.

“Better?” His voice was tender, as if he was afraid that if he spoke any louder, I would break under his arms. I forced myself to get the act together and struggled more as I tried to stand up. Sehun’s hand seized my arms the instant he saw me sitting, like he knew what I wanted to do and sincerely wished to help. It was strange to know that these two could be so gentle, and yet so ruthless all the same – the way they acted before and now. I didn’t know why they had shown me such kindness, but even as I tried to read their minds, nothing came up. The barrier was still there. I tried to shake him loose, but he wouldn’t let me. So I turned to Luhan and nodded, “A little better. I can stand on my own.”

Neither of them said anything else when Sehun let go of my hand. I trembled a little and stood up despite the ache. His hands were still there, close enough to catch me should I fall again, but still a distant away that it gave me space to move. It was strange, seeing how careful they were with me, like they were scared of my pain and genuinely… wanted me to be well. But why –? The little discovery tonight had set my heart into chaos, as if the mind link alone wasn’t enough. I blinked away those distractions and hurriedly told them, “We should run away now. It’s dangerous if we stay longer. Buy us a boat or something – I’m sure we have enough money.”

“What is going on?” Having seen the bizarre condition I was in – from warning them to collapsing to telling them to run again – Luhan was far more sceptical. But Sehun saw the urgency and knew something was amiss, so he cut off the reply I had for Luhan’s question and said, “There’s a small, abandoned harbour in the Southern part of this city. We can reach there in half an hour by car.” I nodded, “We have to steal someone’s car. No choice,” I shot both of them looks, “I will explain to you once we leave this place, but for now, it’s far too risky. Trust me, Luhan. We have to leave now or we’ll never be able to.”

We raced down the alley and into a road. There weren’t many cars around, but I was quick to jump into a car owned by a middle-age man and large built, who was stuffing food and flowers into the back of his car. I sat in the driver’s seat and Luhan sat beside me. We raced off the road like mad men, and I talked in incoherent sentences, “Remember the man I told you about? The one from the Rebel? He found out where I was and let’s just say that things are going south real fast. He’s a crazy man with crazy means. I’m not going back with him and let my freedom be taken away yet again. So we are running away. Now, questions, if you have any.”

“Why are you so afraid of him?” Luhan asked. “And what happened back there? Why did you collapse all of a sudden?”

“Well, for one, he’s quite the sociopath. Not really one, but he sure has the characteristics. Which means that he is a lunatic. And you know, my escapade from the Rebel isn’t exactly the quietest thing I’ve done. So he’s been tracking me down – at least that’s what Dan told me.” I stopped there and contemplated on the words I could say and the ones I couldn’t. “I can establish mind links with my ability, and he’s one of the first people I’m connected to. When I’m upset or vulnerable, he would be able to enter my mind easily. And I’ve been doing so well to control my emotions, too. Dang!”

Luhan was quiet. He looked to the front where we cut through the road to the bushes for a shorter route. The car shook madly and I almost laughed from the thrill of the ride. Sehun leaned back and stared at the mirror, so that we both could see each other by the eyes. He folded his arms in the same overbearing manner and his gaze was intense – unlike those dullness he usually showed. When he spoke, it wasn’t a question, but a statement. And it was a pretty strong one, too. His tone was sharp and frosty, “Your relationship with that man must be pretty unusual for you to be so affected.”

Everyone ceased to speak for the remaining twenty minutes until we reached the harbour. It was quiet and supposedly peaceful, but there was such tension created from the unanswered question that Sehun threw. I didn’t feel the need to correct him, nor did I want to save myself by denying. What use was lying when the truth was so obvious? I wasn’t particularly bad in lying, but when it came to him, everything just wasn’t the same. Yes, I loved him, and I made a huge mistake by loving him. But such confirmation was nothing but damaging to the current alliance with the Union. Had they known what happened two years ago, they would never include me in their fight against the Rebel. And I needed to do this. A revenge was best fought with a concrete plan and strong backing.

Sehun thought he shouldn’t care. He really shouldn’t. But even as he jumped out of the car, something was pulling him back, stuffing his heart with such heaviness. He had always been pretty clear on his principal for a long time – that he could drop a person as quickly as he came to like them. It was a matter of time, anyway, before everyone else dropped him, too, so before they did so, he had to protect himself. But now, it was a little different. Now, as he gazed at the calm water, he realised something he shouldn’t have. This time, he didn’t want protection. He wanted to experience what this weird feeling was. It was so uncomfortable, and yet at the same time, he couldn’t bear not to have it. He was about to speak until I cursed loudly at the sight of a familiar man inside of a small boat fit for ten.

Suho.

And there goes Sehun’s plan to make amend –