The first word that came to me when I saw them holding hands, looking like this pair of dazzling Hollywood stars on red carpet, was: . And I mean it quite literally. Strangely, seeing Taehyung and Yeonwoo together don’t hurt that much. Or maybe I’m in denial. Either way, I politely return the smile, despite all my past memories flashing before me. I know the kind of woman Kim Yeonwoo is. Charming, social, approachable, and extremely two-faced. She wouldn’t have gotten Taehyung otherwise.

When I first met Yeonwoo, she had a smile as harmless as a Golden Retriever – a fair comparison, because at that time, her hair was so blonde, and her French accent was so thick. She extended her hand to me in the same breezy voice, like she was the coolest California girl with beach tan and oversized sunglasses, and said ‘hi’. She had been eyeing Taehyung even then. He was also the one to introduce her to me, calling her a new recruit and a friend with sarcastic flare and good appetite.

I was the exact opposite of Yeonwoo at the age of eighteen. By then, I was no longer malnutritioned, but I had yet to grow out of my awkward phase. My hair was shoulder-length and I was wearing this blue-pink bracket for my teeth. I was at the height of my insecurity with Taehyung’s popularity, and being forced to socialise so often and being surrounded by too many strangers all at once wasn’t something I particularly enjoyed, but for the sake of Taehyung, I forced myself to like all the things he did. And that included sarcasm and and a whole lot of networking events.

Yeonwoo was exactly his type, hailing from the same country and speaking the same language. Blonde, tall, and skinny, her eyes were always lined with these dark liners that made her look both innocent and sultry. She could waltz into any room and capture anyone’s attention just by breathing air, so it was understandable that she was the figure I envied for the longest of time. I was always easily jealous, but I never spoke a word of it. Taehyung was a popular figure and he was constantly everywhere at any given time. Jealousy was only going to create an emotional barrier for our communication. And if there was anything Taehyung hated, it was dishonesty.

“Looking good tonight, Sera,” Yeonwoo flashed her brilliant set of white teeth, clearly expecting the same compliment about how her dress slits gave glimpses and hopes of those long legs. In Taehyung’s ears, though, that was her being friendly and civilised. Or whatever. I couldn’t be bothered to care more. I had tried my hardest to avoid his eyes, but it was inevitable that we would stare at each other again, especially with him being in such close proximity.

His purple eyes were paler now, no longer as dazzling as they were. Whatever I wanted to say to retort was swallowed back. There was still a small part of me that longed for him – not in the kind where I wanted to get back together by all means, but the part that wished for a better conclusion, at least in the form of an apology. He was just as transfixed, his eyes searching for answers in mine, on why this mind link had been broken off. I am glad that I am now skilled enough to block off his mind-reading ability.

Taehyung was an empath, where he read minds and talked inside people’s head, which by scientific term, was a possible diagnosis of Schizophrenia. He did not have the ability to control minds and bodies like I do, but as he was extremely persuasive, sometimes intimidating, it was no difficult feat to achieve. A lot of the time, though, he relied on my ability to accomplish external missions as he stayed in the headquarter to supervise everything else. I was his right hand and his other half.

“Leave us alone for a moment,” Taehyung commanded towards Yeonwoo. He hadn’t used that tone on anyone in a while now. It was always quite frightening to see.

Her face was a scary shade of pale, but that beautiful glare was directed at me, not Taehyung – never him. She was always so sweet and obedient to him, but when it came to people he actually cared about, Yeonwoo almost never gave in. I gave them both a mocking sneer and proceeded to drink my wine like it was the best thing on earth. Caught in a staring battle of three, I intercepted and said, “Now, excuse me. You might want to continue gazing into the other’s eyes while I find someone else to talk to.”

“No, you stay,” It was half-pleading, half-forcing, but he gave me no choice at all. Kim Taehyung always had this presence that made it hard for me to refute whatever he said. It was the kind of power he had over me. I tried my best not to flinch, and shook my head, “I don’t know you at all. And being the introvert I am, I don’t converse with strangers. Bye.”

Fast forward two years and I still can’t hold my ground steadily. I’m still shaky, but I can feel myself getting stronger – just not there yet. It’s easy to get impatient sometimes. Taehyung had big doe eyes that looked menacingly cold but also gentle when one stared for too long. His purple eyes were so pale that they looked almost grey now. “Sera, stay.” Then with one final glare, he turned to Yeonwoo and bid his order, “Leave. I need space to talk to her.”

“What do you need to talk about?” Yeonwoo made it sound so casual and carefree, like she was just asking about the weather today. She was always good in that – acting like all was fine, the complete opposite of me. I can’t be well when all I wanted was leave. This time, she let go of Taehyung’s arms and clutched onto me, instead. Her smile was blinding, but it sent chills to my bones. God, I hate this woman still. “Sera and I are friends. There’s nothing you can’t say to her in my presence.”

Friends. Right. It was the currency we exchanged and one that I sold easily to anyone who pitied me enough. Taehyung, although good in reading expressions, always failed to miss small details like this. Like how my toes curled up inside my heels when her icy cold skin touched mine, and how I always tried to wiggle my way out but never could. Yeonwoo had skinny arms but they were steel-like. This time though, I was more prepared. At least those lessons with Luhan paid off a little when I slipped a small, sharp needle and stabbed it onto her wrist.

Somehow it feels more satisfying to hurt her physically after all that emotional damage she caused me. Especially when she jumped and screamed in pain. Oh, that face. I should have recorded it for personal record. I acted surprised and immediately pulled my hands away before she could grab me for support, “Oh, no! Someone, help her. I think she’s having seizure from too much drink or something. Does anyone have a personal doctor in this huge- mansion?” And I waltzed my way out while making half-hearted commentaries, leaving a very stunned Taehyung and an angry Yeonwoo.

“That’s my girl,” I heard Daniel chuckling from my back and turned around immediately. I gave him a glance over, and ignoring Jin, stepped so quickly into his arms that I would have fallen disgracefully had he not caught me. I miss him. He is the best person I have ever met in this entire life – and the first one brave enough to sacrifice his life for me. The barcode tattoo was slightly visible through his collar neck, emitting a sense of belonging and loneliness I always know existed.

“I never thought I’d see a day where you fight her back. About time, really,” Daniel continued, and brushed my hair again and again as if he had not had enough of his fill. Jin grunted, his mocking sneer was louder than Daniel’s, and it was visible how displeased he was at the moment, but it wasn’t clear what his anger was about. “Definitely not enough. For all they have caused her, I’d say that’s only a small part of revenge. That witch needs someone to keep her in control.”

Jin liked to call Yeonwoo a ‘witch’ because he could never understand how someone could shield that kind of unsightly behaviour since day one. He could not understand how Taehyung became so blinded by the fact that the girl he was cheating with was a two-faced woman that was intolerable to everyone else but him. I smiled and shook my head, “No revenge will be done here. At least not for now. I’d rather leave that on the past. I’m moving on well with my new job and environment.”

‘Moving on’ apparently hit both guys hard in the guts. They looked like they had been punched so badly they could barely stay conscious.

“Don’t worry, you’re always going to be part of my life, with or without the Rebel,” I assured them, knowing fully well what they were thinking of. While I felt fine leaving, Daniel and Jin both had their identities tightly tied to the Rebel, such that without it, they wouldn’t be sane and humane. It is both a way of living and a cult. They had been brainwashed since youth that there would be no cure for this lifetime. “Now, I think you two should socialise around and leave me alone. Trust me, you don’t want to associate yourself with someone like me tonight.”

“Oh. But I want to accompany you,” Daniel sighed. He had to crouch down to meet me at eye-level. It was like a teasing from an endearingly annoying older brother. He slung his arms around me – the only one I allowed to. Daniel wasn’t as uptight about rules and regulations when it came to me, and especially now that Taehyung was present and he didn’t have to be in-charge of anything because the Leader was the one overseeing everything. “The real question here is: why are you alone? Where are your usual stalkers duo?”

He was clearly referring to Luhan and Sehun, who came to me on the last trip. I felt a lonely pain gnawing at my heart when I thought of them - strange. It’s almost like I miss them, too. Instead of replying, I gave Daniel a meaningful look. As we stood in opposition to each other, it was best not to talk about our foes and allies so openly. Of course, there would always be an exception, like Jin. “It’s fifteen minutes past eight. Shouldn’t they start with the booth selection for the guests soon?”

The Auction prepared approximately fifteen private booths for all the guests, each holding a maximum of three to four persons. There weren’t that many guests to begin with, so many booths were often left empty, but the profit they reaped from this image of exclusivity was a million times above the normal auction elsewhere. After all, the attendees were carefully selected and handpicked by the organiser. Last year, the Auction was held in Switzerland, and the last item was reportedly sold with an astronomical price to an illegal trader from Zimbabwe. Whatever it was they were selling; each item would be worth at least billions.

There were three men with golden masks and two women with silver ones, each standing at one corner of the room. They were now huddled up and appeared to be nervously whispering to each other about one missing invitations and an important guest that had yet to appear. Their discussions drew attention from everyone, and soon, the room quietened down. It was also at this moment that the door to entrance once again opened, revealing a newcomer who wore dark grey tux with a beautiful butterfly collar.

I turned around and raised my eyebrow at Daniel, who was equally confused. The Auction had never waited for anyone, whoever it was, and this time, they made an exception for a stranger with no name and titles. The Prime Minister of Japan kept a very tight smile, hiding his displeasure with a calm face. The Princess from Malaysia wasn’t as calm, having been born and placed on golden spoon by birth. She nudged her partner and eyed the organiser with a heavy frown, but everyone kept very quiet still.

The figure walked past everyone else, brushing off the curious stares from the onlookers with a rigid one of his own. There was a certain flare in the way he carried himself, so suave and smooth. One which reminded me of someone – whose steps were always so light, as if he was walking mid-air. He was heading my way, and I could suddenly hear the buzzing of my brain, overwhelming and shocking. I almost forgot how to breathe properly when that stoic face slowly melted to a smile.

It was so strange how I’ve been thinking about Suho lately, and yet, when I’m faced by Sehun, it’s almost like a romance fiction movie waiting to come true. Slow walk, fast beat. My heart couldn’t calm down when he stopped in front of me.

“A pretty girl like you shouldn’t have come alone,” He said, still with that mellow, beautiful smile that held the entire sky in them. Sehun extended his hand to me, ignoring the glares from my friends, and especially one from Taehyung. I thought it would be good to give Taehyung a taste of his own medicine and reached out to accept his arms. Soon, we were both hands-in-hands, closer than I would ever be to anyone in a while now. His touch was both warm and electrifying.

“What is a gentleman like you doing here?” I whispered, knowing fully well that Taehyung would try to read our minds. I would not allow him to disturb my privacy any further. Now that our mind link was cut off, I no longer have to hold back against anything. I didn’t feel physical pain anymore when my skin brushed against another’s, although deep inside, I was still reluctant to touch a stranger. But Sehun is not a stranger, is he? I eased up a little at the thought and pulled him closer than before.

If he was uncomfortable, he was good at hiding it. For all I knew, Suho had informed me on several occasions about Sehun’s OCD. He refused to touch anyone, but he had held me more than once. He didn’t like going out much, but he had gone out of his way for me at least twice when I was out for missions. Sehun felt very much like my personal guardian angel who appeared during time I needed someone most. His presence was confusing, but calming.

“I happen to like saving a certain damsel in distress, especially when you look so beautiful tonight.” The thing about Sehun and his way with words were how sincere and innocent they sounded, even if the things he said were purely flirtation of affection. He was probably the only man I had ever met who had ever managed to say such words without a change of expression, almost like he was talking about the drink on his hands. I would feel bad if I started blushing without reason.

But I did, still. I feel flattered by the attention he gave me. I feel like he might actually like me, sometimes, but he never actively tried to approach me or show any other signs of wanting to be more. I had always thought of love as a selfish thing – wanting one person all for oneself because you couldn’t help it. I never tried to strive for an unconditional relationship because that kind of thing either did not exist in real life, or it just wouldn’t work for me. When I loved, I wanted to love wholly. Not just parts of him, not just sometimes, and definitely not with doubts and passive-aggressive approach.

“Well, is it okay then if I touch you like this?” I pointed at our intertwined hands with my eyes. He chuckled and brushed away the hair from my forehead, “I’m enjoying every minute of this now.”

As someone who had never had a proper and healthy relationship before, this was something I was completely foreign with. And for one as smooth as Sehun, it was hard to imagine him doing this with any other girl. I considered myself less jealous in comparison to some girls out there, but the thought of him having flings and relationships before unnerved me suddenly. Sehun seemed to notice my discomfort and tightened his hold on my hand, “Someone’s been glaring at us for a while now. You know that guy?”

Our eyes fell in line with the sight of Taehyung and Yeonwoo. Sehun didn’t bother putting Jin and Daniel into his consideration because he knew what Daniel meant for me – and it was nothing more than a friend and a brother. He was as guarded towards Jin as he was with anyone else. But Taehyung gave Sehun a sense of familiarity that he couldn’t quite point out. I chuckled, “Yeah, that’s someone I knew very well of. I bet you he is pretty upset with the way we are right now.”

“I can make him even more jealous, you know?” His intense stare pierced at me, and although he was maintaining a polite distance away from my face, to outsiders, we looked intimate and inseparable. His lips were almost touching the tip of my head, and he would be whispering softly in a low, husky voice that made me blushed. It’s a feeling I was once familiar with. Shy. Awkward. All red. It was no longer about revenge, because all I noticed was him. Sehun. “I bet you that will be quite a sight.”

“How would you make him jealous?” My voice came out coldly, but inside I was fluttering. Inside I was burning. Hot and cold. Scared and excited. My hands were grasping his arms like they were the only support I had at the moment. The air felt a little warm. The drink was no longer appetizing. Instead I was fixated. Enraptured. Captivated. At first, he merely threw Taehyung a provoking glance, one which was returned in the same intensity. Then he came closer than ever. Leaned down. And his icy lips touched my forehead. Brushing against it ever so softly. Almost like it belonged there.

A forehead kiss. One moment that lasted for infinity. I blushed even more and kept very still. Taehyung was watching. The entire room was staring, but all I cared about at the moment was how his hands were circling around my waist protectively, and how safe I felt in his arms. For the first time in forever, I felt fine again. I felt that with Sehun, I could safely fall once again. In that moment, I was frozen in the complexity of a man and woman, whose feelings were blurred in-between the lines. His touch brought me alive. Stronger. Better. Fiercer.