The six of us sat in the round table inside the mid-sized dining room. Breakfast was served per request, with the limited selection of cornflakes and milks, and some cold and hard brownies from the local supermarket. It was twenty past ten when everyone came down, either in their sleeping attire with bed hair and half-lidded eyes, or like Suho, who looked completely refreshed and ready despite of the lack of sleep at night. “Good morning, lads. Breakfast time is long overdue,” He spoke as he put his own dirty dishes onto the sink and filled them with water. “Meeting starts when the last member comes down here.”

I couldn’t put my thoughts into words after last night’s conversation when I walked down the stairs slowly and saw Suho, still with the same gentle smile, greeting us from the table where he sat at. Sometimes I wondered if anyone ever existed within the complex mind of Suho’s, even as I saw my own reflection on his clear brown orbs. I pursed my lips into a line that curved a little at the end and nodded awkwardly, “Morning.”

Baekhyun was already there before I was. He was still wearing his long sleeve thin shirt and knee-length short, yawning a little as he was eating the cereal and milk like nobody’s business. “Not a morning person, aye?” I smiled and sat down in front of him, munching on the brownies that was filled with nothing but gas. Well, at least it still tasted good enough for my stomach. Baekhyun gave me a fleeting smile and went back to his own meal, a hint of a ghost behind that smile that came and went so quickly I almost didn’t catch it.

“Did you get a wink of sleep?” I turned around and started a casual conversation with Suho. He threw me a look and nodded, “I did. At dawn, I finally fell asleep.”

“And you still manage to come down so early,” I remarked, and for a second, I was startled. It sounded very much as if I was worried about his well-being. I flattered myself at the thought and decided that that was a bad, dry joke that I should not bother with. Of course, I was not worried. Heaven forbade it if I did. “Never mind that. As long as you could sleep and wake up on time. That’s the least of my worry.”

Suho didn’t bite on and quickly let go of the topic. He knew very well what was proper and what wasn’t. If he was amused, he didn’t show it at all. But beneath the wooden table, he clenched his fists a little tighter as his heart squeezed in an unfamiliar, but painful beat. He quickly masked it up and explained, “Kai usually wakes up around this time. Sehun will definitely be the last, although I haven’t really seen him and Luhan in their rooms. Weird, considering what a clean-freak Sehun is. He usually never sleeps out.”

“Are they… uh, together?” I made a gesture with two crossed fingers to signify the union of a couple. Suho’s first response was to laugh out loud, and even the dreamy-eyed Baekhyun whose eyes were always half-lidded and far too lost in thoughts lifted his head and smiled approvingly. Suho, especially, thought back to the night in Rio and didn’t even bother to hide his ridicule at the denseness. After that subtle proclamation from Sehun, he would have known that the guy didn’t swing that way. I thought the question was embarrassing and didn’t try to probe further, but Suho replied in a carefree manner, “Luhan… and Sehun? What makes you think that those two are a couple? Did they say something about it?”

“You know,” Baekhyun suddenly interrupted, completely ignorant that he was cutting off my series of thoughts. He pointed his spoon at me and looked behind my back to where the window that connected the garden and the balcony was, “I like the way your mind works. And I’m pretty sure Luhan and Sehun would like it, too.”

I didn’t need to turn around to know that those two had come back. It was so odd how the wind was a little warmer, a little gentler when Sehun was around. He folded his arms in front of his chest and kept his face straight, even though he felt a little uncomfortable from his long talk with Luhan last night. Neither of them were the talkative type, but for some reason, certain topics seemed to flow with the mood at the right moment. He sat next to me and grabbed onto a piece of brownie from my plate with an ignorant, almost innocent look, “What did you talk about just now?”

“You should ask the two of them,” Baekhyun threw the comment nonchalantly then feigned naivety. Luhan sat next to him, and I was suddenly staring, finding myself enraptured in a short split second before looking away in confusion. It was almost like a gravity pull that happened because I was conscious of him. Because I was already aware of his presence even without seeing. There was no time to spare for small talks or red blushes, those weren’t for me. So I skipped them and asked Sehun frankly, “Are you going out with Luhan?”

The two parties immediately fixed their widened eyes on me. Sehun was shocked speechless as he glanced at Suho and found the leader laughing secretly. He should have tried to hide it better. Luhan was flustered and he started coughing awkwardly. It wasn’t every day that something like this happened to them. It seemed that the situation was hopeless for the young man, given that the one he was interested in had no romantic bone at all. I added on sincerely, “I won’t judge you. Love is love, after all, and you two look amazing together, like a pair matched in whatever heaven you believe in.”

“You’re right, Sera. Love is love. Hear that, Luhan?” Suho felt amazing having had teased Luhan. The man was an unfeeling piece of stone and to see some sort of reaction coming from him when he talked to someone other than Sehun, Xiumin and Lay was surprising, in a good way. Luhan retorted sharply and threw Suho a condescending look, “Glad you find that very amusing, Suho. Please laugh while you still can.” Then he turned to me with a look that wasn’t friendly nor distant, “We are most definitely not together. At least not romantically. Sehun, if you could please take it to yourself to explain.” Then he sighed, like he found it tiring to talk to a bunch of children.

“I don’t know. I sort of always thought that Luhan was crushing on me up until this very moment,” was Sehun’s very frank answer. Another round of laughter started, with two men battling fiercely with their eyes. He had clearly misunderstood Luhan’s intention all along, and yet still played with it anyway. The eldest in the room had a very frosty look with his blue-coloured eyes flickering with humiliation every now and then. “Nice try, Sehun. Better jokes next time.”

“Could you feel that kind of thing? Or do you read minds to know them? Which is your real ability: mind-reading or mind-manipulation?” Baekhyun asked, speaking more words than he had in the years he was tied to the Union. He stood up and left the half-eaten cereal bowls in the kitchen sink, leaning onto the cupboard to await my response because the round table somehow felt a little more suffocating. Those slit eyes like cat’s had returned, staring straight into someone’s soul as if he could read them clearly.

“I sense thoughts, sometimes I hear them. It just comes to me naturally, like breathing air, although I have learnt to block them over the years, because they get too loud and distracting. I won’t call it manipulation, you know. Manipulation is feigned, forced, and faked. Almost like persuasion, but more coercive in nature,” I smiled and explained, “Words are powerful. How many times have you heard that words could be a deadly weapon on its own? That’s because words hold emotion, and human craves for connection. That is manipulation. Mine is a little different. I don’t need to coerce people with my voice. I only need to speak. Like this. Kneel.”

Baekhyun hated to admit the familiarity behind the power. And although he thought that he could force himself not to listen, his body had betrayed him as he knelt down with a loud bang on the cold floor. I blinked and the tension loosened a little. Baekhyun slapped himself awake and immediately stood up, anger flushed over as he was not used to such harsh treatment. “Don’t get inside my head again. I hate it.”

“Oh, but don’t you understand, Baekhyun?” I stared vacantly into his eyes, “I don’t need to get inside your head and play the petty card of knowing all your weaknesses. Your subconsciousness obeyed me. That’s how I do it.” As he sat down on the table again, feeling unreconciled with what just happened, I decided to play nice and added on, “Don’t worry. I won’t do that to you lots. I know how annoying it is to be controlled. So trust me. I won’t. Unless, of course, the situation calls for it.”

“What’s with the long faces?” Kai yawned and stretched his lean body as he waltzed into the living room. He smiled pleasantly and sat on the only empty chair in the room. “I know that I’m a tad bit late, but it’s not good going ‘round gossiping people, y’know.” Another long, tired yawn. He had gone out late at night to dance and drink and only came back in the early morning. “What?” He addressed the accusing glare with ease. He truly couldn’t understand why his companies were so uptight when they were only a few years older than he was. “That chick that I met had a banging body and I couldn’t resist staying a few more hours. So I did. End of story.”

“Way… too much information,” My face changed from one of horror to humour. “There are six of us now. Why don’t we start, unless we want to hear a continuation of Kai’s story in details?”

Kai’s eyes brightened up like he had found a partner-in-crime after a long while. I could almost see him wagging his invisible tail at me with excitement, one which I brushed off to focus on the meeting. For some reason, I no longer felt the need to keep up the pretense or build up a wall to keep them away. Instead, the flow of our relationship as a team became smoother and much more in sync, and I couldn’t say that I hated it. At least we could work well to support each other in tomorrow’s mission.

“As I said before, we will divide ourselves in two groups. Kai and Sera, I think it’s best that you work together as a pair for this mission. You will find his teleportation ability very useful. And he is not a bad fighter, so he can protect you as well.” Although Suho provided a lengthy explanation this time, he still didn’t tell me what would happen tomorrow. I didn’t quite understand when he said that I should wait for it – as if waiting would do me any good. “Luhan and Sehun will guard the first compartment. Baekhyun and I will be separated into the compartments after. The two of you have a duty to maintain things in order. Baekhyun will check on the surroundings. I will keep the communication with Kai and Sera.”

We started discussing about the layouts of the train and ship, and the route we would take to go there. The structure in itself was a little complicated, especially since we had groups of soldiers changing places once every few miles to check that things were going well and as planned. On the surface, it didn’t look like anything had changed even after I told them that there were high risks of spies and the Rebel involved. But I thought Suho must have hidden something under his sleeves. He had to be.

“You will sail from the harbour at seven in the morning. Take two hours into the sea, and then you will come back to us. Babysitting duties start at six for the rest of us, and we’ll leave this house at three.” I sighed. Another sleepless night. “And you, Sera,” Suho’s voice softened a little, “Come with me. There is something I need to discuss with you.”

* * *

Sehun sipped on his glass, not caring if it was water that quenched his thirst or milk. The familiar discomfort had rose inside him yet again, but in front of Luhan – and the others – he had to pretend that everything was alright. Baekhyun looked at the plate of unfinished brownies as if they were the most interesting thing in the whole world now. He pointed at it and looked around with an amused smirk, “Hey, Sehun, I thought you are a clean-freak. Don’t you have the most delicate body of us all? How could you still share a leftover brownie plate with a girl?”

Kai glanced at Baekhyun as he tried to provoke the younger man. It wasn’t everyday that Baekhyun spoke, and when he did, it was usually so sharp and ironic. Luhan let out a harsh chuckle and tapped onto the table in an irritated manner. If he spoke to defend the younger man, he would look like a fool who bit his tongue after blatantly telling the others that he didn’t have so much as a crush on Sehun. But a small part of him was curious, too. Sehun – who never wore the same clothes twice if it had scratches or a spot, who always cooked for himself no matter what time of the day or prefer to dine out in three-stars hotels or above, who arranged all his things by colours and sizes and was very territorial of what was his and what wasn’t… had just taken a bite from cold, hard brownie that tasted like a moulded chocolate cake.

“Is it strange?” His question wasn’t out of naivety, and definitely didn’t sound like a question. “It’s food.”

“Yeah, half-eaten, and almost bad,” Kai smiled. He coughed like nothing happened when Sehun glared at him for the unnecessary reply. “Don’t look at me that way, Sehun. I’m not the bad guy here. Do you like her?” And for once, Kai was serious about it. His face held a ghost of a smile, but he was keeping his expression ambiguous with those pair of expressive eyes. “Because if you do, you don’t seem to be in a good position, Sehun. Suho is clearly interested in her. I don’t know about others. But you have a pretty bad start with her. She even thinks you and Luhan are together. She doesn’t see you as a romantic interest, does she?”

How early was early, Sehun wondered. He had been told that it was unusual to express feelings so early, especially in the stage of knowing each other. But it wasn’t as if he was terribly confused. He just felt interested – for whatever reason there was. It would seem that everyone else was making this a bigger deal of what he felt for her as compared to what he really felt. He remembered last night’s conversation and reflexively tilted his head to the side, “What does liking someone mean? Is it something particular?”

Luhan choked on the brownie he was eating.

“You think she is special, don’t you?” Kai asked. Sehun simply raised his eyebrows and didn’t answer. “Just think about it this way: is there any other person whom you think of the way you think of Sera?” Sehun’s frown deepened and he shook his head lightly. “There you go. Liking someone does not equate to love. It just means that you notice her more, and that you feel good around her. Love is more complex because everyone feels it differently. If you imagine yourself years from now, would Sera still be there in your future? Do you want her to be?”

Sehun folded his hands and chuckled, as if the question was funny and he didn’t have to think twice to answer. The concept of love was so foreign to him that he didn’t think he want to be associated with it now, or in the future. So what if he liked Jung Sera now? There was never a guarantee that he would continue liking her the same way or more. His voice became raspier, as if he was breathing those words out, heavily and slowly, “I don’t think about the future. Never at all. It’s abstract and uncertain. I would not bother with it.”

6.54 AM, Navajo Lake

The last week of January

“Cold?” Kai asked.

I tightened the shawl around my neck and shook my head, “I’m alright.”

We were inside a yacht with a private indoor spa and sauna and outdoor swimming pool which was left empty because of the cold weather. Kai and I sat outside and talked in short sentences because the leather-tight pants was doing wonder to keep me cold and frozen. I leaned against the pole and looked up to the dark sky. The moon was still there, shining brightly amidst the white clouds. “Kai, is it your real name? Like your parents actually name you ‘Kai’ when you were born?”

“I don’t know,” He said without a hint of deceit. The combination of black sweater, leather jacket and grey-blue shawl actually made him look decently preppy today without losing the essence of a true ‘bad boy’ that he liked to boast about. “I mean, I don’t even know who my real parents are, so I never got to know about a name or things like my birthday and who my other relatives are. It’s not like I really need them anyway. The head of the orphanage was the one who gave me a shelter, and ‘Kai’ is just a codename from the Union. It kind of matches my character, so I thought: why not.”

“Oh,” I looked at him and found that he was still smiling brightly despite of the question. Maybe it didn’t hurt him anymore. “You never tried to find out?”

“I am thankful that I was born into this world and possessed this ability. But that’s about it, really. I don’t feel any kind of attachment or affection towards them. For me, my biological parents are just strangers. They share the same blood, but not the familial bond. Even if they die in front of me, I would not feel much,” Kai shrugged it off. I felt sad when I thought of my own mother. She might be harsh and strict but at least she was a parental figure. With her by my side, I never felt lonely. “Have any guesses what kind of Transcendental would come here to fight us?”

I thought of the inner members from the Rebel and tried to make a guess. I had been slacking so much since I allied with the Union. In a way, I had been too soft, and this kind of tenderness would not strengthen my ability at all. Still feeling a little reluctant, I spoke, “I’m not too sure. But as long as we can drag it out for an hour or two, they should be fine.” The yacht suddenly rocked violently. I grabbed onto Kai’s arm and warned him, “They're here. Oh, by the way, Kai, I don't think I can help you with the fight here. You're pretty much on your own now.”

A/N: Bonus: Lonely Kai