09. Time For The Moon Night

I’m not sure if I can get close to you
I’m hesitating but I’m staying here
You don’t see how much I love it

It’s been a few days now since I’ve been whimpering
Where are you going?
I want to follow you right now

The moment we waited for, it’s all passed today
Tonight, I helplessly chased you
You’re out of reach and I miss you

Night, night, fly through the night sky
It's time time for the moon night
I’ll meet you in my dreams

("Time For The Moon Night" from GFRIEND The 6th Mini Album, by GFRIEND)

The door of the rooftop swung open and Seulgi knelt down on the floor. She pulled her jacket close as her tears streamed down. She didn’t know why she was crying this badly, a fight like this wasn’t new.

She cradled the wrist Taeyong had hurt out of anger to her chest as she stared at the starry night sky. She felt Mark coming right beside her but her eyes remained fixated on the sky.

“You see those stars?” Seulgi asked as her tears flowed. Mark nodded.

“They look breath-taking, beautiful and mesmerizing. But we’re seeing them as how they shined a thousand years ago because the light from the star takes that long to reach our eyes.”

Her tears twinkled as Mark sat cross-legged on the floor after knowing her for so long, he knew all she wanted was a listening ear.

“Our problems,” Seulgi breathed in, “are just like the stars. They were always there and it just became so serious and visible over the years, taking so long to finally have such a big toll on us and reach us.”

“and when so many years have passed, the problems and solutions also feel so out of reach like the stars...” Seulgi rambled on, subconsciously carressing her wrist which Mark began to notice.

There was silence between them and Mark placed his hand on her shoulder, consoling her.

“Taeyong and I, are also like the stars...We look great publicly like the stars, but their image of us is not what it seems,  it's an illusion almost. The gap between expectations and our reality, is like the time gap between the stars and what we see...”

"The best part is we're living like illusions!" Seulgi firmly said as she whammed her fist on the hardwood floor. Mark was taken aback by Seulgi's philosophical approach.

Seulgi took in a deep breath.

“I love him, it’s the first time I saying it out loud. But I don’t understand how you can love someone you don’t really know, or open up to you fully.” Seulgi finally turned to Mark. Mark felt it and honestly, it almost brought him to tears as well.

“I know, Seulgi, I know your love for him was increasingly genuine all these years.” Mark affirmed his knowledge. 

“And as a younger brother, who’s relatively estranged from him. I can understand how you feel, because I have the same problem.” Mark sighed as he empathised with her.

“What happened this time?” He composed himself and asked her as she dipped her face.

“The company’s issues and the accusation again. His sudden disappearance causing more trouble for me. Heightened emotions, unresolved and heavy baggages. The same old thing.”

“No, it isn’t the same old thing, when he inflicted harm on you and himself.”

Seulgi’s eyes sharply flickered to Mark’s. 

“I believe he punched something.” Mark said and watched her slump into her knees and shake her head in disbelief, like a child.

“Seulgi, you have to tell me if he continues to hurt you.” Mark told her in a serious tone. She looked up and stared at his eyes, and started to sense something.

Seulgi just nodded in shock and blinked.

Mark shook his head, trying to shut out flashbacks of the past. He quickly tried to excuse himself.

“Thank you for being here, Mark. Just listening to me, being my confidant. Standing up for me too...” Seulgi smiled slightly, “I’ll be okay, please do me a favour and take care of Taeyong and of course, Herin. She’s a gem.”

“I will” Mark said as he took her hand into his hands and patted it.

“and Mark,” Seulgi added, “please don’t tell the parents what happened.”

Mark nodded, taking it as a cue to leave Seulgi to be by herself.

The moment Seulgi heard the door close behind her, her tears continued to stream down, bawling her eyes out, trying her best to stifle her sobs.

By the time she reached the room she was dead tired from pouring her emotions and tears. She stole a glance at the slightly bloodstained wall before she tossed herself onto bed, not caring if Taeyong was on the same bed or in the room.

He came in shortly, quietly and knelt in front of Seulgi’s sleeping figure. He saw the sheen of tears glazing her face, the messiness of her hair and finally the imprint he left on her hand. He felt a punch to his gut when he saw her wrist.

‘what the am I doing? I have never stooped to this level before...’

Taeyong raised his hand that was bandaged by Herin as meticulously as she could. He saw the faded  bloodstains on the wall and got up to wipe it off.

He showered and crawled carefully into the bed to get some shut eye, he hated himself for still sleeping beside her when they did not make up after the conflict.

Then he thought to himself. ‘Is that causing the problem between us? Never actually resolving anything?’

—————

Mark walked to his room and found Herin awake, arranging the first aid kit.

“Did you patch Taeyong up?” Mark asked as he slung an arm around her shoulders and she nodded.

“He bruised his knuckles and even some of the skin tore off. He was initially reluctant to let me patch it up but I had to speak some sense to him before he relented.” Herin replied and kept the kit before turning to Mark.

“I happened to be in the living room doing work when he stormed out, almost ready to leave the house. Not going to lie, I was afraid to stop him but it was just a recipe for disaster if he went out in rage.”

Mark was secretly impressed with Herin’s ability to talk to Taeyong, at his angriest.

“He has developed considerable bad habits and I do sense some childhood trauma.” She didn’t delve into the details because she knew she had to respect Taeyong. Mark nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.

“Is Seulgi alright?” She asked as they headed to the bed. Mark shook his head. “She cried even more after I left. After all these years, she finally told me she loves him, and how she didn’t understand how she could love someone when she does not have a full grasp of who he is.”

Herin felt the gravity Seulgi’s conflicted emotions as he said that.

“With that being said, we’re not static people, we’re always changing. Taeyong has come a long way and I can see him changing and trying all these years and I don’t know how to help or grow with him either.”

Mark suddenly felt his wife’s hands wiping his cheeks.