She didn't remember what day it was or what time was it.  But she knew much time had passed by after her meeting with Nickhun and knowing everything out. She still wasn't able to make out what she wanted to do next. Sure, the situation, every person related to her and Seohyun wanted her to get back with her love. But it was not easy for her as everyone made it looked like. 

If she decided to rebuild a relationship, a life with Seohyun, she will have to face certain consequences. The threat Seohyun's father had promised her, which had made her leave, had  separated them, was still intact. That threat was still very much effective for influencing her want for getting back with Seohyun. There was no guarantee that her father won't be taking any actions if he comes to know that Seohyun had gotten back with her. He still can destroy them, even more, now that two families' and companies' prestige was at stake. Their damage will be huge this time around.

In addition to it, the thought of little Jonghan had her hesitant for taking a step. What will happen to him when he will come to know the truth that Seohyun was not his mother? And infact he wasn't both of their son by blood? Maybe, they won't be letting him know just now. But he gets to be aware of it eventually. Everything will have a huge impact on his life if she does what everyone is asking her to do. Hell! Yoona even went as far as thinking that the boy would be exposed to bullying. More then any normal child,considering status of his rich family. 

But more than any of these worries, she doesn't want that child to be deprived of mother's love. Of course, he still will be a son to Seohyun, but nothing would be same. Who else knows better how it feels to not have a mother than herself? She would be guilt ridden and won't be able to forgive herself if that happens. 

So she reasoned her cowardice with these excuses. And about Seohyun, she will get better with time. She can't stay like this forever right? Dwelling upon her loss. Plus, both Nickhun and Jonghan will help her. Yoona reasoned with herself, or atleast she made herself believe so. 

All in all, all her friend's pleadings and threatenings and Nickhun's lecture was not having any impact on her. She was still adamant and hadn't gathered enough courage to take that faithful step forward yet.

——

The sky was a little gloomy and the trees were shedding their autumn leaves. The wind was blowing a bit hard, tangling with her hairs. But she didn't cared a bit.

She continued with her path towards her destination. The dried leaves crunched under her feet, making crunching noises. 

With every step she took her heart was filled with heaviness. Her eyes too had become wet, making it look glassy. A few moments of walking she reached at a stop and looked down. 

Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she sat on her knee and placed a bouquet of white tulips on the tombstone. They were her mother's favourite. 

For few moments, she just stared and caressed the photo on the tombstone. Only the gush of wind disturbing her with her 'meeting'. Then she broke the silence just when a silent drop of tear betrayed from her orb.

"Hey mom!" She whispered. The photo on the grave was looking back at her with sad eyes and dull expression. Now that she recalled, she never witnessed happiness on that face. It always sported a tired look and sometimes, when her mother thought she wasn't looking, shedded some tears too. She was naive and clueless to do something about it back then.

How she wished she could change that.

"It's been quite a long time, ain't it mom?" She spoke further controlling her tears.

"Sorry about that. I was away somewhere far.I am hoping you are good up there. Aren't you mother?"

She didn't get any answer obviously. She continued.

"I am not sure if you know, but....there had been a lot going on lately in my life." She sighed heavily.

"Do you remember about Seohyun mom? The one I had talked about to you way long back. The one I still love." She paused.

"Yeah that one. I left her years ago. I left here. Sorry I never visited you for a proper goodbye before that. Please forgive me for that." She chuckled dryly.

"Anyways, I had to leave her for I didn't  wanted to make her suffer. If she had been with me, only God knows what her life would have been now. So i left as I thought she will be much happier than. I thought leaving her was for better. I wanted her to have all the happiness she deserved. So I took that step." She in a breath.

"But fate again brought us together mom. I  returned here even though I never wanted to. She was made to meet me again. Do you know that she is married now. To a person way better than me. The one who possess the ability to fulfill her every wish and give her all the love to her. He is also very brave person, you know. He accepted her relationship with me-a woman. He even tried to help her, make her happy. He was the one to take it upon himself unite us."

"I left because I thought everything will be better off if I was out of her life. I wanted her to forget about me and to see her happy. But......that never happened. When I saw her that day the last time, i only got to see emptiness and sorrow in her eyes. I used to them as they were always glinting with happiness. Her smiles always reached to her orbs, making them crinkle. They were my favourite feature of her. But I got to see none of that last time."

"My expectations were not meet with reality. Had I taken the wrong decision when I left her mom?" She questioned.

"Now both our friends and even the man she married wants me to get back with her. They are very persistent. But how can I do that?  She even has a child to look after. I cannot take his mother from him. I know how difficult for a kid that can be. Also our love aside, but I really don't think I deserve to be with a person like her. I left her even then when she gave me everything she had to offer. I broke her heart and trust for me. I was such a coward and ungrateful being for leaving. But tell me mom  was I so wrong? Was I so selfish to do this to her?"

By that time, she had started crying profusely. Heavy tears  drops from her eyes, blurring her vision and landing on the tombstone.

Yoona dropped her head on the stone, pretending that it was her mother's lap. She sobbed heavily.

"I am sorry mom. I am so very sorry. I am such useless thing. I never was able to do anything for you. I ruined the possibilities for my happiness. I hurt the one I love immensely. I am sorry for being such a disappointment. I am sorry for everything."

She cried bitterly now.

"How I wish you were here with me, for me. I don't know what should i do? I really need you now more than anything right now. I miss you terribly mom."

She cried her heart out, letting all heaviness out of her with the cool breeze caressing her hair and cheeks. She believed it was her mother giving her strength. 

—

Yoona left the cemetery after thirty minutes, with a promise to come back again. 

She dragged her feet towards her home. After that, she had herself locked in her apartment. Not bothering to had her hunger satiated or cleaning. She just changed and went under her sheets. She kept thinking to everything. Of past, present and future. Of those moments she had spent with Seohyun. Which were the best part of her life.

How much time had passed she had no clue. She was aware that it had been days, but exactly how many she didn't knew. She spent days within the confines of the apartment. She didn't bothered to eat-just depending on instant noodles,  not cleaned much, only coming out when needed, neither did she slept properly. She also wasn't going for work. She just kept thinking all day and night. Her whole routine was disturbed and her days were a blur. She doesn't know of anything else but just thinking and pondering of her choices. She was sure to go insane.

It wasn't only her who was going insane. But her absence and going into hermit mode was making other people going crazy too. Those people were her friends- Yuri and Jessica, and her boss Nickhun.  They were waiting eagerly for Yoona to do something. They didn't even knew that their efforts and Nickhun's confrontation had made any impact on her or not. Whether she had finally decided to take them seriously and will go along their advice or she still had more stubbornness left in her. They were more anxious because of Seohyun. She wasn't getting any better. Rather her mental peace was also snatched away after their short wordless meeting. Not even Jonghan can keep her going now. Poor boy was worried till hell for her. So they so desperately wanted Yoona to approach or take some kind of action. But there was nothing.

Currently, all three of them were sitting at Nickhun's personal office in his house. Seohyun was in her room and Jonghan was at a friend's house. They were gathered to discuss what to do next.

Yoona was unreachable to them. She hadn't been picking up their phone, neither answering their text. And now her phone was switched off too. Nickhun also had made her secretary call Yoona to ask when was she coming back for work. But she wasn't able to get her. Neither Krystal or Victoria knew anything about her absence. 

They were currently contemplating their problem. 

"Did you guys managed to contact her?" Nickhun inquired.

"Nope!"       "Me neither!" Both girls answered.

"I also cant reach her." He sighed heavily. 

"How is Seohyun doing?" Yuri asked.

"Not very well. She had been constantly thinking. She had been so quite that even Jonghan had been concerned for that."

They all sulked. 

"I dont know what do anymore. Your friend is so stubborn Yuri. What else is there stopping her?" Nickhun was irritated and felt helpless.

Before Yuri can mutter anything Jessica abruptly stood up, banging both her hands on the table.  Her body was stiff but her face held determination.

Yuri gulped seeing her like this. Then she slowly and carefully called her, "Jessica..."

"It's enough!"

Both other persons looked questioningly.

"What?"

"I said it's enough.have had enough of your friend now Yuri. If she is not willing to settle everything and continue being a coward, then I am going to take matters in my own hands. I am going to force her out of wherever she had kept herself hidden. 

"Jess calm down. Let us think this over." 

"No Yuri! I cannot tolerate with her antics and cannot see Seohyun suffer anymore because of her. Do you realize, if we wait any longer Seohyun might never recover. And Yoona atleast needs to talk to her. Whatever is her decision,sheneeds to settle that with Seohyun. She can't hide forever and keep my friend hanging. I am going to make sure she makes everything clear once and for all and stop running away. Nobody can stop me. And you are taking me to her house Yuri. No arguing. Come on!"With that she marches out.

"Jess wait! Listen to me."

"Yuri. I think she is right. It's been a week already. And even before that we had given Yoona plenty of time. It's now or never. We cannot wait any longer."

Yuri sighed and went outside to with Jessica to bring her to Yoona. Whereas, Nickhun waited behind to prepare Seohyun. 

She prayed for everything to end well.