[AMBER’S POV]

 

It was almost a week that passed but I still can remember that day when Sulli deceived me. The hurt she had given me is still fresh inside. And the fact that they betrayed me it was like I just wanted to kill myself. I guess I have loved Sulli more than my life that’s why I am so much affected of what they did. In this case, I really felt I was the only victim. I really couldn’t understand why Sulli did that to me. If she really loved me, why did she deceive me? It almost tore me into pieces. BUT every time I remember everything what Krystal told me that night, my heart calls out to finally forgive Sulli.

 

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I called Krystal this morning and asked her if where they are staying now. I decided to have a talk with Sulli so I can hear myself all the answers to my questions. Sulli is sitting beside me with swollen eyes, frowning face and weak body. It looks like she cried the whole night because of what happened. I felt pity on her for awhile. It seemed that she still kept on suffering from anguished for almost a week. I wanted to hug her and kiss her but something stops me.

 

“I thought you don’t want to see me anymore…” Sulli weep with a cracking voice.

 

“Until when do you plan do hide everything from me?”

 

“Amber…”

 

“Just answer me Sulli…”

 

“We are actually going to tell you everything, but I am afraid. I am really afraid to loose you Amber!”

 

“So you just decided not to tell me anymore and just continue from betraying me?—“

 

“—of course not Amber! That’s not tru—“

 

“—did you love me?”

 

‘I never stop loving you Amber—“She quickly responded and her tears fall again.

 

“Then why did you betray me from my back? If you really love me, you won’t love another guy.”

 

“I love you Amber and I also love Taemin. He is my first love and I promised to love him for the rest of my life.”That statement was the most heart breaking of all. My chest feels like it wanted to blow up but still, I controlled myself. She just let me informed that she never gave her whole heart to me the whole time we were together since I wasn’t the one whom she didn’t promised to love for the rest of her life. But I don’t regret that I loved her.

 

“But believe me or not Amber, I have loved you. You have given me a new life when I thought I won’t have anymore. You taught me a lot of things. You were one of the best things that happened in my life. I’m really sorry Amber. Please forgive me. I won’t forgive myself unless you forgive me. I’m not asking you to forgive me now but this is the only thing that will make me happy now. I’m really sorry!” She cried even harder and hid her face.

 

She was sincerely asking for my forgiveness. As far as I know Sulli for years, every time she makes a little mistake, and when she asks for my forgiveness, it’s like she killed someone that she badly needed my forgiveness. She will do anything just to please me though I already forgive her even before she said her sorry.

 

BUT this mistake was a huge different of all and the way she asked for my forgiveness, it feels like she wanted to offer her life just to accept her apology. I think this finalizes everything and maybe Krystal also helped me that night. Instead of keeping these hatreds inside of me, I shall remember the good times we had and started a new life like

 

I moved near to Sulli and gently wrapped my arms around her.

 

I scratched her head. Still embracing her tight. “Shhh… Don’t cry anymore Sul. I just couldn’t forget everything that happened but I want you to know that I am forgiving you….” She excitedly replied my embrace after hearing my words.

 

“Thank you so much Amber. I’m really sorry for I wasn’t able to give my whole heart from loving you. And thank you for loving me Amber.”

 

“Thank you for coming into my life Sulli. Be happy with Taemin always.”I whispered and smile as I hugged her tightly.

 

 

I should have done forgiving and giving up on her ever since the night Krystal talked to me. I should not have even let this happen to Sulli. But it really feels better now. When I forgave her, it feels like I was healed from the wounds that wrapped my inside.

 

 

 

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[KRYSTAL’S POV, AFTER 6 MONTHS]

 

 

“What made you meet me early this morning dear?” Jessica eonnie worriedly muttered as she sipped her tea.

 

“Ugh. I have a problem eonnie…”

 

“Come on! Tell me!”

 

“Uhm… It’s Amber…”

 

“Huh? What about Amber?” She gave me a curious face.

 

“I don’t understand eonnie. But I just think that… I—I lik—like her…”

 

“Yaaaah! Tell me you’re kidding. It’s not funny.” Ugh. Her eyes glare again.

 

“Eonnie, I’m being honest right now.” I stuttered.

 

“Why her Jung Soojung?”

 

“—why not?”

 

“—because it’s forbidden!” She shouted on top of her lungs. “Krys, of all the people, why did you fall for a girl? You don’t even know her that much. I have dreamt of having a brother-in-law and not a sister-in-law! You’re just starting to ruin your life if you comprise yourself into a relationship with her.”

 

“Forbidden? So you’re talking about forbidden when you’re being in a forbidden relationship for almost 5 years.”

 

“We’re different case Soojung! It’s just so happened that we’re cousins, but still, he’s a guy and we love each other more than anything else.“

 

“—so how does it differ from liking Amber? Because she’s a girl? We shared the same ? It wasn’t her gender I’m falling for but Amber herself. If you would just take a chance to know her better, you’ll surely understand how I feel.”

 

“Enough with this conversation. There is no way to end this talk well. Soojung, listen to me; I know how it feels to have an unpermitted affiliation. It makes you want to just vanish each day you wake up in the morning. I don’t want you to suffer like how I used to suffer for around 5 years. And though we loved each other, the happiness that we have isn’t that genuine. I don’t want you to feel that way too. All I have been wanting for you to have is nothing but pure happiness as long as you’re living. So Krys, if my words are still these important to you, you will listen to me.”

 

Jessica eonnie has been my part time mom and dad ever since I’m growing up. Never had I ever ignored her words, I’m used to her imperiousness since I knew from the start that everything she says are for my own good. But after we had that intense conversation and when she left me at the coffee shop, I realized that not every word she says are right. Not all are for my happiness. If she wants me to have nothing but pure happiness, why is she contrasting me for liking Amber? Amber is my happiness. Yes, she is my pure happiness now. Jessica is very important to me and her words as well but if she would be the first one to oppose the happiness that I’m just starting to live with, I guess I’m the only one who is valuing our sisterly connection.

 

I don’t know exactly what to do next.

 

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“ching-a-ling~ ching-a-ling~”

 

In the middle of being frozen for hours; thinking how things shall be done, my phone rings which woke me up to reality.

 

“Yeoboseyo…”

 

“Krys? It’s Amber. Where are you right now?”

Her voice. I would always want to hear that voice. Her voice always makes me feel way better.

 

“Krys? Are you thereee?”

 

“Huh? Ah… yeah. Hi Amber~ Hmm… I’m actually here at the coffee shop near our school. Why?”

 

“Nothing. I just like to see you today. Okay, please wait for me. I’ll be there in no time.”

 

“Eh-? Okay. See you then…”

 

 

I just like to see you today. That line. It feels like I’ve always wanted to hear that every time coming from her. After having that intense confrontation with my sister earlier, I could smile again. I could live this day because I’m going to see her again. She has been my happiness for these couple of months that passed. And now that I’m sure that I like her, I thought there’s nothing to worry about. BUT NO—that someone whom I thought would understand me had been against of it, against of my happiness. I can’t understand why Jessica eonnie doesn’t want me to like her. Can’t I be happy too? All this time, I have always wanted nothing but happiness to those people who are important to my life; Sul, Taemin, my sister but why can’t I be happy like them? Do I deserve this? I guess I haven’t done anything worst in my life to deserve this.

 

“Hey there~” that very familiar voice woke me up again from being comatose. “What’s up?”

 

“Amber, you’re here.” I broke a little smile. She sat in front of me where Jessica eonnie was sitting a while ago.

 

“Yup. I’m here. Why are you here by the way?” God! She’s starring at me again. Couldn’t help but to giggled inside. I bowed down so I could avoid her eyes because if I didn’t, I would end up staring at her the whole day. She’s just so handsome. Ugh.

 

“Krys? Are you okay?” she mumbled as she tries to look at my face. She pinched my cheek then touched my chin so she could tweak my head upwards. Her touch electrified me inside. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yes… I’m fine. Hmm… Amber. You said you wanted to see me today right? May I ask why?”

 

“Hmm… let me see…” She leaned back on her seat and crossed her arms. Looked me in the eyes and giving me that weakening smile. “Hmm… I don’t know. Why? Could a friend can’t see her very closest friend?”

 

“Eh? Ah… yeah… of course. You’re right! We should like to see each other because we’re good friends. Yes. You have a good point on that.”

 

“Ha-ha-ha. I’m just kidding. Ha-ha. You’re so cute Soojung-ah~”

 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

 

She leaned towards the table so she could face closer to me. She held my hand. I was shocked. I widened my eyes figuring out what’s exactly going on. “Amber…”

 

“Krys, do I still answer that question? Why do you think I always like to see you? Why do you think I always want to talk to you, to eat with you, to have a drink of coffee with you, to go home with you after class? Why are you still asking me that question?”

 

“Because I don’t know why Amber. I would like to think that you like me too but I shouldn—“

 

“—so you like me?” . Did I just split it out? Ugh. What did I say? “Krys, you like me? You like me right?”

 

“I never said that…”

 

“Ha-ha. I just caught you and you’re still denying it. Just tell me the truth Krys. You like me Krys—“

 

“—fine! Yes Amber! You’re right. I like you. I like you so much. Happy now?”

 

“The happiest person today indeed.” She muttered with a very big smile I was actually shocked. Didn’t realize that my confession would make her happy. I was happy inside too. But still, I have no idea if she also feels the same way to me.

 

“I like you too Krys! More than how much you like me I guess. And now I knew that you like me too, you have no idea how much it mean to me. I’ve been dreaming of this to day to come all this time. You made me really happy Krystal Jung. Thank you so much.”

 

“Amber…” Her words let those butterflies inside my stomach flew away. Knowing that she likes me too, I couldn’t be happier like how much I’m happy now. It feels like I can just die because of delightfulness. I’ve also dreaming of this day to come. I really don’t know how to respond now. I just wanted to jump, shout, laugh and cry out of happiness I’m feeling inside. And this truth pushed me to become stronger and continue to fight for her. I would fight for you Amber. Even I might get hurt; I will still fight for you.

 

“Krys? Are you crying?” And I didn’t even realize, I ended up crying because of extreme happiness. “Huh? Ah… no… ugh… sorry…” I rebuffed as I wiped the tears flowing in my cheeks. “It’s just that I’m very happy today. I thought this day would end up as the worst day of my life but it was actually the best and the happiest. Thank you so much Amber, thank you for always making me feels better.”

 

“No Krys~ thank you for coming into my life. When I thought I don’t need to believe in love anymore, you were there. And made me realize that I should not stop from living even I was hurt. I shall continue to love and be loved. You gave me another reason to live again. And that’s why I’m very thankful to you.”

 

She stood up and walked beside me. She wrapped her arms around me. It was the first time I felt something like this. It was a wonderful feeling. I hope these bizarre feelings would stay forever and I we continue to be like this for any longer, Amber will probably become my first love.

 

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A/N: As I promised yesterday, I will update chapter 9 today :) Finally, after those impatient times, I just started the KryBer moments :) So how was this chapter?