“OMO! DONGHAE-SSI I’M REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT BECAUSE OF ME. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT TOLERANCE TO DRINKS AREN’T THAT GOOD HENCE MY BEHAVIOR WHEN I’M UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL. I WAS JUST UPSET LAST NIGHT BECAUSE THAT JIYONG IS MESSING WITH ME AND HE KEPT TALKING ABOUT SEUNGHYUN SO I SNAPPED. I DIDN’T MEAN TO THROW UP ON YOU AND TO UHH…. UHM YOU KNOW, I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT MAYBE BECAUSE UH, I DON’T KNOW EITHER? BUT THAT’S HOW PEOPLE USUALLY BEHAVE WHEN THEY’RE DRUNK RIGHT? THEY SPIT BUNCH OF NONSENSE”

Surprised by my sudden outburst, it took a while before Donghae regained from the shock. I think I’m going to cry now. 

“Dara ssi? What is happening? Are you okay?” His eyes are locked with mine, full of worries and confusion at the same time. But within those gaze sparks a hint of fright. An emotion too familiar and close to my heart. 

I saw him marching in our direction before I brought my hands in my face in hopes to bury it in shame.

“Last night.. I’m sorry. For all the trouble I caused you. I’m sorry, really. I didn’t mean any of that” I stutter, trying hard to find the appropriate word to suffice what I did. Tears began to pool in the corner of my eyes making my vision fade in a blur

I felt warmth from the hand caressing my shoulder in comfort. It’s soothing and encouraging. A small gesture that made me calm a bit “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. It was nothing. I bet you would do the same if you see me drunk.” He gave me an assuring smile 

Not far from us I heard someone snorted. When I turned, I saw Bom with her now red face covering . When she removed it, a thunderous laugh escaped from her lips

Baffled by how she’s acting, I said “I can’t believe you find this funny, Bom”

“You’re so tensed! I was just fooling around” holding on her stomach while laughing, Bom continued “This is why I like teasing you you never disappoint in making me laugh! Aigoo thanks for making my day start on the right track”

She left the dining table to head to the refrigerator and get herself a water

“What?” I asked  blankly particularly to no one. Is she saying she’s just making fun of me?

When she came back she announced, “I’m only joking!” Still wiping her tears from the joy she’s getting in this

“PARK BOM!!!!! I REALLY BELIEVED THAT!” I marched towards her, ready to strangle her for doing that but she ran straight behind her cousin

“Yeah hahaha you really did!” 

“You. Are. Cruel! How can you make a joke like that on someone who doesn’t remember a thing from last night? You are the worst!” as if on cue, the tears I tried to hold in comes down in an instant as the surge of emotion finally consumed me

“Yah! Why are you crying! This is supposed to make you laugh hard at how gullible you are!”

I heard Donghae say something “Bom, don’t you think you kind of crossed a line with that joke?”

“Jeez, that is why it is called a joke. It doesn’t mean to offend anyone!” She grabs a loaf of bread from the basket on the table and sat on her chair again “Besides, when else I can have the opportunity to make fun out her being drunk when she rarely drinks? I cannot let such opportunity pass by without making something fun from it.

“But that was really-“ 
Bom did not let Donghae finish what he’s about to say before she asks “So how’s the case going?"

From being upset to being agitated in a matter of seconds, panic rises inside of me. Good gracious! This woman will never let me have peace.

 Donghae and I planned to get away with Bom’s wicked idea of suing Seunghyun by making her believe that I already agreed to it and Donghae will take care of my case. When I asked him how we are going to do that considering that it is not easy to fool Bom he said it will depend later on what will be my take for that matter. If I decided to go with it, he’ll refer me to another lawyer who can ultimately help me process my case. Since haven’t talked about it again from the last time we first planned it, I don’t know how I’m going to answer Bom now with this one. If I mutter a single word that will generate any suspicions on her part then I’m dragging Donghae to yet another trouble. And it’s a trouble that we, as much as possible, should shun. We don’t want a raging Park Bom coming for our lives.

I turned to Donghae, mentally calling for help as I innocently act as if he has the upper hand in this matter and technically have the knowledge to answer Bom. We may be able to slip this time.

“I’m on it” He replied dryly

“Have you already submitted a request for summon in the court?”

“Not yet”

“Then how exactly is the progress of it?”

“I’m still studying what else we can charge him aside from moral and exemplary damages”  His reasoning escapes his mouth so fluently that it cannot be taken as a cover up

“What?! You’re taking so long”

“It’s not that easy and I can’t rush it, Bom. I have to review some provisions because I never formally handled cases like this before. You know that my expertise doesn’t dwell around that area. You don’t want her to lose this chance, do you?”

Donghae flash a thin smile. It’s almost a cocky one.

He saved me again.

Until when is he going to clean up all the mess I made?

“Hm make sense. OKAY. But you have to keep up with your pace, Atty. Lee. If you think I’m going to forget about it by you prolonging it, I won’t so I’m already saying this. I’m sure Dara cannot also wait to see where this goes. Am I right?” Bom move her attention on me “Hey Dara! Why are you so pale? Did I really scare you that much with my joke or is it because of the lawsuit?”

Startled by such question, I answered absent-mindedly “Huh?”

God forbid this woman to ask me any questions about our sordid plan for the lawsuit! Donghae has done a good job making a way out for it. I can’t ruin this 

“Jeez are you still affected by that? Seriously, I think you just needed to date someone already. Don’t be a stuck up for someone who didn’t see your worth.”

I frowned

Did Seunghyun really failed to realize that? Or he thought he deserved someone better so he left me like that in the dust? Is that how the calculative love of adults work? (yes to that 2ne1 reference ;)) 

I doubt that though

We’ve been together for so long before this mishap happened. Everything felt so raw and real. You cannot fake something like that. I am still convinced that whatever his excuse may be on that day there’s a logical reason for it.

Knocking me over to the deep thought I’m rotting myself, Bom asked “Forget it. Don’t worry I’ll help you someone who’s much better, hotter and ier than Seunghyun” then I heard her whisper “Though I cannot fully guarantee that as I am also in a hunt for myself”

So maybe it wasn’t really her helping me but herself. 

“Dara don’t you have class today? It’s already 7:36 won’t you be late? You can change with any of the clothes in my closet so you don’t have to go home first”

“My class is at 2PM but I have to get going by now. I don’t think I texted Chaerin or mom that I’m here.”

“I texted your mom last night. I told her I invited you to sleep over and was too stubborn to let you go home so late and ditch me so I forced you to crash in here”

“Really?” That lightens up my mood. At least I have one less thing to worry about today besides my whirling head state. And that’s a good one for her that the urge to strangle her for pulling that joke on me now kind of subsides 

“Yeah. Don’t worry I did not told her you drink last night”

“Thank you, Bom! You are really the best!”

“Promise you won’t drink by yourself like that ever again you crazy woman!!!

“If you promise to never make fun of me again after being drunk, I will”

“Ha! I will really do the same thing over and over again if you will keep on doing that” She smirked “Hey Donghae, drop her home before you go to work today. Dad asked driver Kim to run an errand for him early this morning so I can’t ask him to do that for Dara. I’m afraid she will pass out on a sidewalk due to drunkenness”

“Don’t bother! I can take a cab Bom. I always do that. He’ll be late for work. Besides, I’m not drunk anymore”

“He comes to office whenever he wants so you don’t have to worry about that”

“I’ll just get my coat upstairs” Dongae announced before turning his back on us

“It’s fine! I’ll go home by myself, Donghae-ssi” He stopped on his track and faced us again

“Donghae! Give her a lift or you’re sleeping in your office tonight because I will tell everyone here not to let you in until you reflected on your action that is not rightful and ungentlemanly of you to let a half-drunk woman take a cab alone.” 

Defeated, he can only give me an apologetic smile.

The drive home was a long one. Or at least that’s what it felt like during the whole ride because Donghae had to talk to someone, I assume from his office, about legal matters. I pretended to sleep so he won’t be uncomfortable having someone around hearing confidential cases.

So when he shakes my shoulder to wake up me I startled making him jump in his seat too. 

When we both got out of the car I thanked him for taking his time for bringing me home “Thank you again, Donghae-ssi”

“’Donghae-ssi’?” he chuckled “We should drop the formalities now. I’m certain we’re going to cross paths more often now because your friend, who happened to be my cousin, likes bossing me around. We cannot continuously address each other so formally like this every time.”

“Right. Donghae” I smiled at him 

“Dara” a similar curve form in his lips “…noona”

“Noona?? Yah! That can’t be the case. What made you think that I am older than you? Aren’t you a lawyer now? So that means you graduated ahead of me because I’m still in uni while you’re already working”

“Are you implying that I’m already old? You described it as if I’m already someone in their past 30s” 

“I… well, I guess… I am not. You’re just older than I am I think?”

“Is that so? Then if that’s the case then” he put both of his hands in his pants pocket and took a step closer to me. With a genuine smile that brightens his face “Are you going to call me oppa?”  

Unsure of what I should say, I just said “What? Why?” 

“Because you said I am older than you. And ethically speaking, that’s what a well-mannered Korean person would normally say?”

“Yeah but you said to drop the honorifics so maybe we could disregard that?” I laugh nervously “And I’m not really used to that. That is why I let Chaerin not to call me un-“

He burst out laughing “I was just tripping! I’m sorry that it rather made you uncomfortable”

“You didn’t sound like you were pulling a joke!” 

“Really? I should put a lot of effort in that aspect, then. Even in the office I’m the only one who laughs so awkwardly at my own gags. Well anyway, if you claim to be younger than I and Bom is older than me, then how are you friends with her?” 

“Why, can’t you be friends with someone older than you?

“I did not say anything about that.”

“Bommie and I were childhood friends. We used to be neighbors before we had to move around here. And I wasn’t really the social type to be friends with everyone I just met. So I’m stuck with her and she has no choice but to have me for the rest of her life”

“That makes it equally for the both of you then. You have a loud, annoying best friend” 

“I’ll tell her you said that hahaha” 

“She already has had enough from me saying that in every chance I get”

The front door opens, revealing Chaerin in her pigtails and lawn tennis outfit. She must be from the tennis court today. 

"Dara! Why didn’t you went home last night?”

"Oh that... Bom said she texted you about it”

"She just told me that you’re staying over but did not tell me WHY. Where were you and what did you do last ni- Ommo!” She looked at donghae like it was her first time seeing him today. So shocked that she had her hand on her wide open mouth “You dont say????"

"What?" What is she so shock about

"Dont tell me you two ?" 

When I realized what she wants to say I yelled at her "Yah!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I quickly apologized from Donghae who is now as red as a tomato

"I’m so sorry. She’s not normally this embarrassing but I don’t know what’s gotten to her" I face Chaerin with furrowed brows "What are you even thinking. My goodness seriously stop hanging around with Youngbae and Bom"

"What are YOU thinking. I was thinking you had to sleep over so you and him could finish the case last night but I guess not because you have other things in mind”

"What do you mean by that? And yah shh don’t you dare say it so carelessly when we’re at home. Mom might hear you!"

"Why not? I bet she would love the idea of you suing Seunghyun and you going out with Mr. Donghae ssi" A wicked grin from her was directed to Donghae 

"Hey what are you saying going out"

"Were you not?"

"Stop Chaerin-ah you’re going to make him uncomfortable if you keep on doing that”

Donghae could only laugh at the situation awkwardly. He did not linger for so long after exchanging greetings with Chaerin but before he could even reach his car’s door he has been caught by yet another stressful event

"Dara honey?" Mom called for me, coming out from the living room's door walking towards us "You just came home?"

My mom hugged me in a very light embrace before she turn her attention to Donghae

"I see you have brought a company here" she smiled at him, intrigued by seeing the appearance of a new face in front of her

Donghae immediately greeted my mom, bowing nearly in 90 degrees "Annyeong haseyo"

My mom look at me waiting for me to introduce  him to her

"Mom, this is Donghae ssi. Remember Bom's cousin I told you about?

She shifted her smiling look from me to donghae "Ah, Donghae ssi. It is nice meeting you. How come you’re here so early?" 

"Bom asked me to drop her home on my way to office" 

"I see. Thank you for bringing her home, Donghae. Come in have a breakfast. It's the least thing I can do to thank you"

"He still has to go to work, mom" I know my mom wouldn’t let this pass so I had to whisper to her "Let him go that’s the least thing you could do"

"I already had breakfast at home, ma’am but I wouldn’t say no to get another one"

My head spun around "Are you sure? Don’t worry, mom wouldn’t mind you declining her breakfast invitation.

"Dara...” Mom started

"Because we're going to trouble him. He's already late for work" I said in defense

"It's fine. That what most lawyers do anyway. 9 am is too early for them. And he can always opt to work with us in the prosecution if he really would get in trouble for being late" that earned a laugh from Donghae "Come in, Donghae ssi"

"Feel at home, okay? Eat lots. I know you tend to skip meals to go through your overflowing paperworks but you shouldn’t let that become a habit" My mom offered Donghae a plate of cinnamon bread she baked yesterday

"I'll bear that in mind"

"Just call me Aunty when we're not in work place. You’re no different than Bom and Dara's other friends. But how come I only saw you now? “

"I mostly lived overseas. Only early this year I decided to come back home when Bom’s mom persuaded me to try working here. And maybe to have me within their parameters" 

I hadn’t given that much thought why he's here when he has better career opportunities in London. But staying to a place where it can only give you memories of the people you once had by your side when you look at every nook of it must be unbearable. I, too, would do the same.

I wouldn’t call it cowardice - running away from a poignant place that was once your lovely home. I rather see it as an act of bravery for being able to go on after a devastating loss because let’s admit it when we lost the person who’s been with us most of our lives, part of us has gone in the wind with them too. And no words of comfort can fill in that hole in our hearts even after a thousand years. To see him doing well with his life now, he must have buried that other part of him that was left behind. 

"How are you doing with all the adjustments you have to make?”

“It’s manageable so far” then he laughed a little “I’m just having a hard time with Hangul because I only learned it from school back then. You know it’s different when you learned something from what is being taught to you from naturally learning it yourself.” 

“Tell me about that. I’ve also a hard time with that one. Tough times but you will overcome it through the years.” 

“I hope so. I find it embarrassing that I always have to ask my secretary to proof read everything for me. It doubles the work” 

“I’m sure they do understand. So have you had the chance to go around Korea?”

Donghae cleared his throat “Not much but I’ve been to the mall once and to anywhere where Bom asks me to go”

“No way!” Chaerin bolted from her seat “Since you moved here you haven’t been anywhere aside from home and your office? That’s…suffocating”

He laughed once again but this time there’s an amusement in his eyes “I guess I didn’t have that much chance to go around but maybe after this case that I am currently working. I would love to go to places”

“You should try going outside Seoul, oppa. I swear by it!” Chaerin started telling Donghae where he should go first and when’s the best time to visit

“And how did you know all of this information, young lady?” The tone in mom’s voice is sharp, knowing that there are more than to the facts that Chaerin is telling “You know so much as if you’ve gone to those places already. But I can’t recall that you’ve been to because you didn’t asked for permission”

“Oh, uhm, mom uh you know those travel vlogs in the internet now?” She turned to me to give me a forced smile then pinch my thigh under the table “You know that too unnie, right?”

Ha! I knew it. She’s been sneaking around all those days she tells us she’s sleeping over to a friends’ house. 

“Yes. I know those travel vlogs in the internet that YOU uploaded” I said with the best evil smile I could ever sport. It’s payback time! If she did not tell mom so cheekily about Donghae that eventually tip off mom to tease me to him we wouldn’t be having this early morning awkwardness with Donghae.

Chaerin playfully slap me in my left arm “Unnie!!! You said you won’t tell mom! You’re really no fun. You should travel too sometimes so you won’t look like you’re on house arrest”

It is already around 10:23 am when my mom thought it  was already enough time to pester Donghae and let him go to his office. Within those hours he’s been caught off guard, it was my mom who did all the talk telling him advices on how he could live more comfortably now in Seoul. 

"I'll be waiting for your internship reports until the end of this week. No consideration will be given for late submissions. Submit on time and graduate or be late and get delayed as well." the professor shut her laptop with a loud thud, purposely trying to intimidate the rest of the class before marching out of the door

Beyond relief showers me as I start organizing my books. I have already finished my internship 2 weeks ago, ahead of everyone else because I used all the free time I have to keep myself occupied in those times I am at the most vulnerable phase of my life.

It was also a good thing that no one from the law firm i used to go with knows about the disastrous supposedly-wedding of mine or that will only add more salt to my freshly cut wound. I cannot imagine having the same set of faces with pity in their prying eyes every time they will have to talk to me. I’ve had more than a handful of it from home.

At least there's something good that happened when Seunghyun left. I somehow became a work freak for the sake of keeping me sane. Thinking about it now make it sounds more empathetically weak than how I thought it would be. 

The whole experience was a tough one, doing mostly the reports from clients seeking for legal assistance and partly giving my insights during firm meetings. Having to go around the city whenever a client calls for help as a representative when the office falls short in staffs. I guess the most challenging one above all is simultaneously handling a trivial case brought upon by a spoiled, temperamental client. I remember almost being the one to personally bring a complaint against our own client. But working in a law firm has greatly helped me in making understand that becoming a lawyer is more than just being at war with facts and logic.

I’m sure everyone expects me to work with the prosecution after I get my license because of my mom but I dont see myself settling that early in such a position. But i have other things planned ahead of me and that includes stepping out of the shadows under my mother's cloak. I know very well that that's what most of her colleagues have safely kept in their mind, that i have the easy way up because life has its perks but I know better and I want to earn that recognition myself.

I have been very vocal about the weight of pressures people always expects me to carry along and I’m glad my mom respects whatever decision i made so far. Though I could see at times that she wished i would go on the same path as her but I still couldn’t bring myself into that. Yet. Or maybe my pride had me clung to the idea that I wouldn’t be just another version of one of the greatest in her field to avoid being disappointed at myself in the end too. 

I walk down the halls of the law school main building heading towards the cafeteria to grab something to eat before going home. 

I passed by the lounge and saw a fashion event poster on the board where a few students are flocking to get a better view of it. That must be one of Bommie's project. 

Ever since she took up fashion designing after graduating with her business degree, Bom has been very enthusiastic and passionate about what she does in the university. Not that she wasn’t before but you could see what she really wanted. It was just that she had to take up business so she could help managing their family business when the time comes it is necessary for her to have her role passed on her. 

The books i am holding have fallen from my hands "I'm sorry I didn’t saw you. I'm in a rush" 

The girl immediately dropped on her knees to collect the books from the floor before handing it back to me "I'm really sorry" 

Before I could even reassure her that it was nothing, she flashed an apologetic smile and ran towards the direction where I came.

She must be late for class.

My phone vibrates from my pocket. I took it out only to see Bom's caller i.d

"Hey. What made you call?"

"Just checking"

"Checking what? Anyway, I passed by one of the bulletin boards. I think it has one of your event posters. There's quite a number of students gathering in front of it"

"Ha! Are you telling me this because you are feeling like a proud friend?"

She really likes fishing compliments!

"On second thought , I might be wrong. It could have been someone else's event. I should have my eyes checked asap"

"Duh who else would attract that much attention other than my works"

"So what really made you call?"

"Did Donghae dropped you home this morning?"

"Yes he did. Mom even invited him over for breakfast. He must be late for office today" 

"Really? Wow I’m jealous Donghae get to eat Aunt's cooking! I miss her!!! I should come over to your house. So did they discussed some legal matters... you know"

"I don’t think that’s appetizing for breakfast, Bom"

There are only few students in the cafeteria by the time I reached its halls. Logical since it's passed lunch time now. The people hanging around are either getting their late lunch like me or their afternoon snack.

"Right. Don’t worry Dara, I will bug Donghae to prioritize this matter”

"You don’t have to do that. He's already doing me a favor amidst of having too much on his plate"

"I just want you to be freed by the guilt you made yourself"

Not wanting to have this talk go on further, i changed the topic "Did you really called just to assure Donghae dropped me home?"

"Not really. I am inviting you to the event I organized for next week! The one you saw on the poster earlier. That means so much to me so i hope you could come. You should ask Chaerin to come along. I already invited Youngbae"

"I’ll have to check on that if i don’t have anything for that day already. Thanks, Bom"

"Okay. I'll see you when I see you! Bye!!"

I haven’t had the chance to go to the cafeteria after Bom's call because Chaerin messaged me that she would really appreciate my help in cooking the steak she wanted to prepare for dinner. 

Displeased face welcomes me home as soon as I arrived with the smoke from the pan adding effects to the unpleasant situation that is about to burn down. 

"Dara!!!!!" Chaerin started stomping her feet when she saw me enter the kitchen

"Is that the smoke coming out from your frustrations or an extra pinch of effects to showcase your mastery in cooking?" I joke to lighten the mood

"No, that is really the smoke from my attempt to burn our house. Good gracious mom's still not here!"

"Why are you cooking anyway?" I went to where she's standing

"I don’t know what's gotten to me actually. I was watching videos on youtube then this one clip entice me cook a steak. He's done it so flawlessly, Dara." She reached for her iPad next to her to show me "look! It must be delicious!"

"That may be the case. Or it may also only LOOK delicious. I don’t think it is the same behind the camera though. He would have shown us a footage of him or someone eating what he cooked to prove it tastes good as what he claims to be"

"Wow that was mean, Dara"

"We'll never know because we never got to taste the dish."

"What makes you think that he's faking it? He has a lot of subscribers and been doing that for years now. I don’t think his channel will last long if he's a con"

"Not that im entirely discrediting his work but my point is, you’ll never know how much takes he did before finally coming to that edited video. He may have failed the first try or he may have completely failed cooking it or he may have had that outcome closer to the pefect dish he wanted to cook but still lacks in something. So he would have to have done things not seen in the video. So you shouldnt be upset that you werent able to cook it like him because there may be others ways you can cook it better than what he did. Do you get it?"

"Woah ok that was like, deep. You don’t have to go further like that to comfort me Dara"

"I wasn’t comforting you!"

"If you say so" 

"Why didn’t you ordered for delivery instead or went to some fancy restaurant to satisfy your craving? That's a lot easier"

"I know. But when i was watching him doing all of that i thought it was easy and decided to give it a shot."

"Maybe if you’re someone who always cook"

"Okay lets just call for delivery and watch some movies!" She throws her arm on me and drag me to the living room

It was past 1 in the morning when we finished our movie marathon. 

Charerin called me before I could enter my room "Dara, can I borrow that one cream gown you wore last year when you attended the open-government conference?"

"Of course. I'll look for it. Good night, Chaerin"

She sent me a flying kiss as a good night bid then we both crashed in to our respective rooms.

Not trusting myself to wake up early and find the dress Chaerin was referring to, I started digging inside my closet to look for it before I completely forget what she asked me tomorrow morning. As I go through the dresses hanging inside the cloest, my fingers absentmindedly brushes the golden dress neatly kept at the end side of the cabinet.

I’ve been absentmindedly drawing random circles on my legal ethics notebook with my baby rabbit pen for quite some time now, possibly hoping that an idea will pop out from the blackness of my scattered abstract thoughts the moment my paper figured out the wariness in me.
Unable to keep still, I straightened in my seat and lean a little to see what he's reading this time "Hey, are you busy today?"

We're currently at the student lounge where few people stays during their free time. It is 9 in the morning and we have an hour spare time before our next class. I’m planning to take Seunghyun for a simple dinner date today because it is Valentine's day.

Last year, he took me on an improptu trip when I blurted out to him that I wanted to feel the ocean breeze. So i want to be the one making this year's Valentines a little more special because ever since we got together he's been the one spoiling me with dates and surprises. 

Seunghyun continued looking at the book he's holding "Yeah. Got a retention test tomorrow. Gotta study for that. Bummer!" 

Oh... bad timing then. I guess i have to treat him some other time when his schedule allows. 

I let out a sigh of relief and disappointment

I spent the entire night last night looking for restaurants where we can dine that isn’t too crowded so we could have a relaxing date. I know it is not as extravagant as what he always prepares for us but it has been carefully picked by me. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to happen today. 

Next time, I’ll make sure to come prepared. If plan A fails, I must have another one in my sleeves that will recuperate for the failure of the previous one. 

I heard Seunghyun closed the book making me startled. He moved his face closer to mine with a mischievous smile "Why, were you supposed to ask me on a date today Ms. Park?"

"What?!" 

He smirked at my response "Oh are you not? Because your reaction tells me you were going to"

"Hey, you assume things so fast. I was asking because I was.. uh.. I was going to..." a random girl passed by the room entrance holding her calculus book "right. The calculus lecture i didn’t understood. Could you help me with that?"

This time Seunghyun laughed so loud attracting few heads from nearby table but he seemed to be less concerned by the disturbance he has caused and continued. 

"You know you’re not good in lying.” Seunghyun pinched my nose to which I wrinkled before retreating back to my seat “But I am really sorry that I have to be a kill joy and stay at home today. You know I’m on edge with that subject because I missed 3 meetings of it"

"I understand”

"Gonna make up for it, i swear" he reached my hand and squeeze it. Reassuring me of his words.

“I know you will. You always do”

“Hey, babe?” He called

“Hmmm?”

“I love you”

Indeed, the day passed by without surprises from him. 

A week following after that, it was Sunday. Normally on day like this, Seunghyun would ask me to go to the church together and attend the mass. But it’s already 8am and i haven’t heard anything from him yet.

He must be drained from all the tests he took this week until yesterday. So he's probably catching up on the lot of sleep he lost staying up late to study. 

I fought the urge to send him a message and ask if were going out today and just attend the mass elsewhere but I’m afraid that it will only disturb him from his sleep. So I ended up watching some dramas to kill some time before eventually asking Chaerin after our lunch to go to church.

Chaerin usually she stays at home on Sundays so she can spend some time reflecting on herself, according to her. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind accompanying me and fill in Seunghyun's role today because even before I met and dated Seunghyun, it is always Chaerin whom I spend my free days with. That is why when I ask her if she would like to go with me around for our mandatory sisterly bond; she would often tease me about resorting to her as my only second option when my boyfriend isn’t around. 

I feel bad that that’s what she felt now that I’m with Seunghyun. Even if it was her playing on me I know there is a hint of jealousy over such coated joke from my divided attention when she used to have all of me before my relationship. 

My sister isn’t entirely the same as me who openly talks about everything from anyone I trust. Once, my mom told me that Chaerin sees me not only as a sister but in a way that I share our dad’s role in her life along with my mom because she never really had the affection of a dad. And we’ve been trying that she wouldn’t feel less loved by that. 

Chaerin instead to go home after the mass ended even when I bribed her to go shopping. She said she couldn’t stand having me next to her pretending I am genuinely enjoying my time when in fact I am sulking inside because Seunghyun is still missing in action. When I refuted her, she immediately dismissed me with a hand and laughed at me saying I am lacking humor from always taking her words too seriously. 

Right after we got home I went straight to the kitchen to get myself a glass of cold water. Even though we didn't go anywhere and done much it has been an exhausting ride back. Could this be already a sign of aging? I feebly slap my forehead on my silly thought. Before I could even reach the way towards the fridge, I found a man in his denim jacket with his usual white button down shirt - the one whom I've been longing to see for the past few days and the one who have turned me to a grumpy clingy girlfriend 

Seunghyun sheepishly grin as he hands me the two paper bags he was hiding from his back awhile ago "For you, babe. I'm sorry for the late Valentine gift"

I ran to his direction to give him a lightly punch in his arm "That is nothing to be sorry for, silly. What is this?"

"You'll never know if you won't open it" Chaerin marches to the fridge and served herself a slice of blueberry cheesecake

"Oh I’ll open this here? Now?" I began peeking over what’s inside the paper bag. It must be clothes and shoes.

"Yeah, when else are you going to open that, unnie?" Chaerin said as she offered the cake near Seunghyun "Oppa! Eat some cheesecake first"

Seunghyun hugged me before he lounged in the dinner chair

"Is it not weird to open a gift in front of someone other the one who gave ut to you?" I ask

Chaerin roll her eyes "You're the weird one! Where and when did you formed that belief?"

"Okay okay. Since I’m getting the impression that Seunghyun had to have your help in getting this one, this better not be a prank!" I eyed both of them in suspicion to which they ignored

I carefully opened the two stapled paper bags that I laid on top of the dinner table not even wanting the paper get wrinkled

"Are you always that OC to the point that you wouldn’t even let the paper bag crumpled?" 

"Are you always that cranky that you notice almost everything that I do even the smallest one?" I jab back at her

She must have said something in response but I chose to ignore it and rather took out the bright, shimmering yellow fabric from one bag then the box from the other. I unfolded the seemingly yellow gown from its neat arrangement before it left me in complete awe.

In front of me is a floor length gown that look so much like Disney princess Belle's . From the vibrant color of fresh dandelions that transcends over the horizon of a thousand splendid sun rising, to its detailed cuts that form the sleekest curves of elegance and purity in every inch of the silk. A magical creation that imbued one of my wildest childhood fantasy has come to life is now in my hands glowing from its indulgence. A dream I've only known in my head is shining in front of me. Whichever side I try to look at boosts an eloquence of pure royalty and sophistication.

"See, oppa! I told you she's going to cry out of joy when she sees this hahaha" 

Seunghyun cocked his head to one side, looking at me in amusement "I honestly hope those are tears of joy, babe. Or I’m going to choke your sister to death if that is a nightmare you never wished to remember again"

"Why would I do that!" Chaerin complained

"No, no. I absolutely love it. I....i just couldn’t find the right words to describe it. I mean look at the artful subtlety of this! This is too beautiful Seunghyun!!!"

"Im glad you like it, babe" 

"Like? Hell no! I bloody love it!!" I hug the dress before lifting it for a gracious swing. I'm totally feeling like the ones in the movie. 

I stopped "But what this is for? There's no ball or party coming up for as long as i can remember?" I asked in confusion, still holding the dress Seunghyun just gave me

Seunghyun rose from his seat and went to my side, locking his hand on mine "We'll go to the disneyland"

"What?????? With me wearing this one?"

"Yup. I'm bringing you back in your castle, princess" his free hand pulled me into an embrace then gave me a quick kiss in my forehead

Chaerin grunted "That is too much mushy mushy for me to handle. Enjoy your day, oppa, unnie!" she head towards the veranda with a cup of tea in her hand

"Wait, are you really serious about me wearing this in an amusement park?:

"Yeah why, don't you like it?"

"But is it not embarrassing to wear a gown in an amusement park?" 

Seunghyun hold on to his heart, acting like he's been shot straight through it "Ouch"

"Oh!! I don't mean it that way you silly!!!"

"But you still wouldn't want to wear it right? In an amusement park?" He asked softly in a way not wanting to sound disappointed and demanding

"I'm only thinking that this will get in the way in all the rides I want to try hahaha I can just wear a sneakers, can't I?"

"Yeah I'll be wearing this one too" he pointed the white sneakers he's wearing

"Wait don't tell me you're going to wear just like that?" 

"Why, are you specifically anticipating for something more special?"

A sly grin slowly formed in my face then crossing my arm "Well, you know. A princess shouldn't wander around the castle without his prince. But a prince doesn't look like that"

He took a step forward to tuck behind my ears the strands of hair slightly cover my right eye "Oh you don't have to worry about missing a prince by your side. I'm sure he's already had a handful of help from picking what to wear because he's too particular about things." 

"Is that so? Then I'll go change now. I cannot wait to see him!" I giggled over the thought of Seunghyun in his royal blue suit

He pulled me to another hug "Yeah, hurry up before he turns to the ugly beast again" 

"Alright! I'll be quick. Wait for me" I stole a peck from his cheek then ran towards the stairs

"Don't worry. I am not going anywhere

"Hello?"

"Hello?" Donghae picked up the call after the second ring. He answered it with a quiet, serene voice that can put you in total ease. If this was a song I'll surely put it on repeat when I needed to relax. 

"Uh, sorry for calling you this late. Were you already sleeping before i called?"

"No. Im not at home" he's still working this late? It's already 2 in the morning

"Don’t tell me Bom did not really let you come home?" I sit up straight, alarmed that I might have given him another trouble to deal with

I heard a soft laugh at the end line kf the phone call "She can’t do that. I drove you home, remember?"

"Right."

There’s a long pause after that. 

I should have called him early tomorrow instead. But i know if i do that, I’m only going to lose myself in the torments of overthinking possible outcomes between the options im going to make. And the world knows if i don’t say it now, i won’t have a heart to tell it some other time. 

I'm indecisive and coward like that.

I didn't try to say something else as I am still unsure how I’m going to tell him that i already made my decision regarding Seunghyun. 

My mind has been occupied the whole day by the thoughts of him. Why is it so hard to get him out of my system? The whole time I was at class today, i found myself dribbling at the back of my notes random sketches. I did not even listened attentively to t llecture for more than 5 minutes without heaving a deep confused sigh at myself. 

Does Seunghyun knows he has this effect on me?

If he does, how could he bear not getting in touch with me for so long.

Jiyong's words is still rings on my ears. It wont stop. It wont give me peace. It echoes inside me. Must it be guilt that is not letting ne get away from it? 

I don’t know

I did nothing wrong.

But the way things turned out after his painful, groundless accusations I see my share of fault in this event. 

Another thing that wont slip me this day is Bom. I don’t think I can manage to get away with anther question jf Bom asks me about Seunghyun and Donghae is not around to cover up our plan. And so I can also put an end in this on going war inside my head exhausting all the possible circumstances where Seunghyun might have fled since that day. Demanding him to be summoned judicially may be too excessive to hear but that is what I also deserve, right? An explanation for his sudden disappearance.

"Dara Are you still there?"

"Yes. Im here. Sorry"

"Its alright. Is there any problem why called at this hour?"

"No particular reason just.. its just" i sighed. 

Jiyong's words cut through me like a sword sliding down my throat. I thought about what he said back in the bar. 

Have i really done enough to put an end in this question I’ve been asking myself for months now? Because i don’t think i have exhausted all the possible means to find out his whereabouts. If i cant go up to the extent of demanding him to be summoned in court, doesn’t that strip me off the right to feel betrayed and wronged? I know there are others way to find him but i couldn’t bring nyself doing it because im too coward to know the truth im asking. 

Jiyong is right. At one point, im only using the victim card.

"Can you help me with the complaint against Seunghyun?"

"I'm already on it. This will be enough to make Bom believe the papers

"No I mean for real.."

"Are you sure, Dara?"

"Im...yes. i made up ny mind

"Okay."

"Thank you, Donghae"

"At your service. Goodnight, Dara"

Did i made the right choice?